[ #refugeinshadows ]. ind. private & selective heavily headcanon based astarion ancunin from baldurs gate 3. resurrected by roz ( he/him & over 21 )
simple rules. no drama. not interested in it. i block liberally. all graphics / icons used on this blog are created by me unless specified otherwise. also very important : no ai anywhere , thank you. i also will be extremely selective in following back , to feel more comfortable. this isn't personal , i promise.
roz. please feel free to block this post if you need to as this isn't the first time i've had to ask for help , and i totally understand that not everyone can help , nor would i expect it. i am once again struggling financially , i came home to a house with hardly any food , and barely any electric. i do have a commissions blog for anyone interested ( @rozcomms ) and i'm also happy to offer free graphics for anyone who can help, as well as psd's etc. i am also willing to make up to 200 base icons too ( or ones with a psd ). ill leave my paypal link down below bc my email doesn't work for some reason. please know there is no expectation of help , i know everyone is struggling right now and this is not an obligation.
roz. please feel free to block this post if you need to as this isn't the first time i've had to ask for help , and i totally understand that not everyone can help , nor would i expect it. i am once again struggling financially , i came home to a house with hardly any food , and barely any electric. i do have a commissions blog for anyone interested ( @rozcomms ) and i'm also happy to offer free graphics for anyone who can help, as well as psd's etc. i am also willing to make up to 200 base icons too ( or ones with a psd ). ill leave my paypal link down below bc my email doesn't work for some reason. please know there is no expectation of help , i know everyone is struggling right now and this is not an obligation.
݁ .⠀ ✩ THE LAST OF THE BUGS. part one of a collection of dialogue prompts from noah kahan's album the great divide: the last of the bugs. some liberties taken to better fit the overall rpc, adjust as you wish. WARNINGS FOR: mentions / insinuations of drugs, alcohol, and depression.
if the trees started talking, i bet you they’d only talk shit.
we never do anything real.
i thought getting older meant knowing it’s too late to try.
i tried getting sober.
i swear i did better this time.
everything you see out here will die.
it’s a matter of time.
anything you need, i will provide.
i’m going off my medicine.
god forbid i hurt someone.
i’d hurt anyone i could.
i’m the trouble ahead.
have you ever stared directly at the sun?
forgive me if i jump.
are you leaving?
it gets harder to see me the closer you try to look.
i’ll be long gone before the anger comes.
i hope you’re moving on.
i just live here.
you’re the one.
i was working on a plan to disappear completely.
but you’re here, and we’re so grateful you are.
you’re gonna fix it.
we’re fragile.
you’ve always been so tough.
you know that i miss you.
you always come running back whenever i ask.
i hate to drag you back here.
i think [...] really lost it.
i can’t stand the nights.
make [...] talk.
make it stop.
we’re drowning here.
can you come home?
i think we had everything. until now, i just didn’t know it.
we’ll be strangers in the morning.
how sad, left to rot alone like that.
i’m glad you left, but you’ll be back.
call me when it goes to shit.
i swear i won’t tell anyone.
i don’t mind being your dead end.
i’ll keep rooting for your downfall.
i hope you open up to someone kind, and they hold it all against you.
they’re turning your house into a parking lot.
go ahead and call the cops.
i tell it the way that you told me.
i still hear your name from some of the locals.
always placed you for the leaving type.
i called you, but i ran out of words.
your love is like an open flame.
it’s been a damn near-perfect day.
people grow up and then move away.
in the interest of time, we’ve got a whole lot to waste.
i never ask for much.
i can’t keep on starting over.
are you good at staying still?
will you up and leave, or will you be there in the morning?
all love must leave.
i’ll be good.
i’ll be fine.
i can laugh about it.
i can’t recall the last time that we talked.
we ain’t friends.
i’m high enough to still care if i die.
you know i think about you all the time.
it must have been bad for you back then.
i hope you settle down and marry rich.
i hope you’re scared of only ordinary shit.
they only shoot the birds who cannot sing.
you’re bouncing off the walls.
i tried to heal your wounds.
if a lie turned true, a lie it would still be.
at least i got soul still, even if i’m in a bad place.
i’m glad you got your act clean.
you’re showing up like bad news and leaving like a bad dream.
we get along just fine.
you stumble around like a ghost.
help me if it helps you sleep / leave / lie.
we both had the courage to leave.
i’m willing and able if you’ve got a bone to pick with me.
i’ll stay here until the morning.
we can’t fight like we used to fight.
look at you leaving again; it’s all you know how to do.
the world belongs to you.
they all say you’re a light; all i see is shadow.
i’ll see you again in six months.
if i call you out, i’m an asshole.
i tell the truth when i drink.
so, come home.
i wish you could know me.
i wish i could know you much more sometimes.
leave it all on the table.
you always went looking for an easy way out.
turns out that you’re still an asshole.
it ain’t our fault that you aren’t suddenly somebody else.
i’m half as drunk as i thought i’d be by now.
even when you’re not here, it becomes about you.
i’d beat your ass ‘til the morning.
i’ve been running all this time.
if i never see you again, you could be anything i want.
won’t you stay gone?
there ain’t nothing else here worth catching up on.
i’ve got a feeling that won’t go away.
the doctors are calling it “just moving on”.
no one gets to talk shit but the ones you’ve shit on.
the following is a collection of sentence starters from larian’s baldur’s gate 3. part 2.
look at me - i’m not a monster.
stay back. i don’t want to hurt you, but i will.
no. you’re not one of them at all.
i was ready to run you through. my mistake, friend.
that’s far enough. what’s your business down here?
you revealed our location? that tongue gets any looser, (name), and i’ll cut it out.
reckon i might miss this place.
this place is more dangerous than i thought.
well, don’t you cut a fine figure.
sometimes i’m jealous of that girl. ugh - to feel so invincible again.
in your expert opinion, what’s the best way to kill a devil?
i’m certain there are answers out there. we’ll find them together.
there’s no story. none that you’re entitled to hear, anyway.
you can tolerate a great deal of suffering, so long as it has meaning.
until then, all i can do is endure.
please try to understand that it’s not something i can just talk about freely.
perhaps there’s potential in you.
honestly, your faith is your own concern. i won’t judge, one way or the other.
i think i did well by joining you.
you already know my biggest secrets. what more can you ask?
that wall’s an illusion! hiding what, i wonder …
sun, moon, and stars will still be there, waiting for us.
this place is pretty spectacular, isn’t it?
no book or painting could ever do its strange beauty justice.
a perfect ring of mushrooms … nature, or magic?
hmm. i thought that might’ve done something.
another illusion. is anything real down here?
i’m more concerned with this ‘twit’ who set a spectator on you.
a rival - a mere footnote to my legend. you should be more concerned with who i am.
the fools must have turned back. or, better yet, died in the search.
i need no more rivals. try to take this as a compliment, yes?
this presence … this magic is not divine, but fey.
little? i am a god! and i’m gonna rip you - tear you - wear you for a hat -
don’t do anything hasty, now.
i’ll just kill you and claim it for myself.
i’m the lord of murder - i’ll show you why.
if you’re expecting me to drop to my knees before you, forget it.
a wizard’s tower is his sanctum, a private place for research and respite. but as this wizard’s not home … i say we take a peek.
a strange place for a button. especially one that doesn’t work.
what good would it do for me to be troubled? we can’t save them all.
you’ll have to speak slowly. i find it quite difficult to concentrate with my condition gnawing at my insides like a teething displacer kitten.
the whole village is falling to pieces …
hey, maybe we can scare up a few dusty bottles of wine somewhere.
i like your way of thinking. split any takings we find?
what creatures live in water this dark?
i’m a rabid dirty dog. and i bite.
i could’ve killed you before you even noticed me, but i didn’t. stand down.
i can be discreet. no need for bloodshed.
share? you really are in the wrong place.
a bleeding heart, are you? reckon i’ll just roast and eat it.
what in the hells did you do to that corpse?
you do plenty for me, more than you realize. but this cannot be remedied.
are you alright? is there anything i can do to help you?
enough. bickering won’t save your friend.
run away, then.
(name) - i was so worried! did they hurt you?
who cares? we’re together now, thank gods!
i’m grateful, don’t mistake me, but … why help us?
freeze it, cock-stench. we aren’t done just yet.
pay up, and you get to skink away. resist, and i gut you.
drop it. i don’t owe you anything.
your incompetence has been my ruin.
stop! no more innocents will die today, (name).
you care for the weak. most curious.
you so much as touch me, and i’ll tear you from limb to limb.
ah - another treacherous soul walks among us.
i ain’t going down easy.
you been a shit since i laid eyes on you, (name).
strike him down. prove your faith.
your silence speaks to your heresy.
look, you have no idea what you’re dealing with …
it’s the whole damn reason we’re here, and i’m not leaving without it.
the mission comes first.
and i thought i’d heard it all. that’s some cambion-level deception.
i go where there’s shit to stir. and there’s no shortage of options.
i can’t remember much, truth be told.
centuries of torment will do that to you.
you’ve been naughty. and you know what happens when you’re naughty.
just who in the nine hells are you?
well, well. aren’t you a luscious thing?
been a long time since someone stuck their neck out for me like that.
you have a manner of irresistible desperation about you. i like it.
you know, i’ve been thinking. and i think there’s something i should tell you. nothing big or terrible, just … a small little detail about me that hasn’t come up naturally.
i want to join you - to fight by your side.
i’m sorry for barging in like this, but i had to come find you.
i won’t let you down. i promise.
we all have our burdens, one way or the other.
i’m trying to say that you’ve earned my trust in a way very few ever have … i want that to mean something.
freedom - i’d forgotten how it felt. thank you.
if you have a moment, i’d like your opinion on something.
the problem is this: a preponderance of evidence that i am a terrible adventurer.
i can’t risk re-capture. i barely escaped last time.
it was a mistake. and not one we’ll repeat.
i don’t know. he was kind of fun.
we can’t just invite danger in to our hearth like that. we must be more careful.
most monsters will think twice before making a meal of me.
an old hunter’s trick - if you can’t mask your scent, spoil it.
i prefer a weapon to stench, thanks.
you’re a monster hunter? not what i imagined.
whatever you’re hunting, your stench alone will kill it.
a quick wit is rare indeed.
know how to ask, and they’ll share that knowledge. if you’re fool enough to pay their price.
speak plainly. what is she?
i think you’re mistaken - this place looks innocent enough.
truth is like a blade, my friend. we can arm ourselves with it - or just as easily find it pressed against our throat.
i would not put you in danger.
your coyness is getting boring. tell me.
you take insult where none is intended, my friend.
how thoroughly invigorating it is to stand by one’s friend in the face of danger.
you best have one hells of an apology for me.
you must have mistaken me for someone else.
that wriggler swimming in your brain juice is a bit of an inconvenience, isn’t it?
that’s none of your concern.
don’t change the subject.
keep that hole under your nose shut.
let’s not involve ourselves in this place any longer than is necessary.
you want to play the hero so badly? fine. let’s make this interesting.
gods, it’s hot in here.
i’ve had better days. and worse ones.
i am, after all, the villain of the tale.
you truly are a soul that steels my own.
you are as thick as they come.
even i am tired of the sound of my own voice.
i stand at a precipice, but if you do not give up hope, neither shall i.
all of this … it must feel like a betrayal.
you bastard! you ruined it, you ruined everything!
slow down - what did i do?
this is an interesting way of thanking me.
i don’t need this. good luck getting out of here on your own.
i know i should head home, but … i can’t bring myself to leave.
(are you alright?) / not even a little bit. but i will be.
she favored me like a child favors a captive pet.
i promise i will not betray your trust.
i cannot thank you enough.
you will face (name)’s judgement.
i wish you could have visited at a better time.
you had no right to intervene.
you’re not one of us.
copper for your thoughts?
always a delight to speak to you.
did i play games like this in my youth? was i sweet once?
what are you doing? i’m busy here!
nothing beats the taste of stolen beer.
come on, now. they’re just having a bit of fun.
let’s do what we have to do, then get out of here.
smell’s like burnt flesh.
hold out your arm so i can mark your flesh.
i’m here to spill your guts across the floor.
pain without purpose is a terrible thing, wouldn’t you agree?
i often feel i like raw pain too much. it scares me.
as long as the story ends in death, it’s all the same to me.
forgive me, but - that look in your eyes. something terrible has happened to you.
what i see in your eyes, in your soul, is only natural.
we’ve all suffered in these dark times. it is little wonder you hear scars of pain and anguish.
touch me and you’ll lose your hand.
the pain you suffer will cleanse you - do not fight it.
you look tired. should i take over?
welcome the pain. let it become part of you.
that looks like it’s going to bruise.
not that i’m suggesting we stop for a drink, of course.
i wouldn’t want to place all my faith in blind luck.
sympathies won’t help me to survive.
your life, much like your words, is meaningless. end the latter to save the former.
looks like the booze got the better of them. they’re practically unconscious.
they’re dying for me. all of them.
why don’t you take a closer look? i’ll observe from back here.
please don’t open the creepy book!
toddlers are easier to please than you lot.
you know, i never pictured myself as a hero.
all i want is a little fun. is that so much to ask?
having performance issues, (name)?
never have i met such troglodytes.
i was hoping you wouldn’t notice i was gone.
i suggest we admire it from afar.
it would be too much to hope that’s nothing to do with us, wouldn’t it?
i go my own way - alone.
i’ll feed your innards to the ants before i do that.
identify is fluid to astarion - fashion also depends on his mood , he enjoys dresses as much as he enjoys doublets , it simply depends on how he feels like dressing that day.
also the concept of being ripped from nature and turned into a creature that's considered an abomination of nature , definitely has an affect on those who are turned , especially elves & i think astarion definitely misses parts of who he was , parts he can remember. the first time he feels the sun on his face without it burning him to a crisp is probably something that becomes a core memory. being able to see trees, to walk barefoot in the grass when no one is looking. removing the tadpole takes all of that away and astarion knows it.
There’s also something so very sad about the fact that astarion often believes the only way he can earn protection is through offering his body up. Also the nonchalant way he explains it to tav too, as if it’s normal for him to expect to offer himself up and in a twisted way it has become his normality. Cazador ensured this. Forced him to accept this way of thinking. That it was the only way he’d get anything he needed ( like food / clothes / protection etc )
thinking about how cazador really had a 'favourite spawn' room which he awarded to his favourites at different times just to pit them against one another and how astarion must have felt walking into that on his quest to kill cazador. it's a reminder of the gross power dynamics and what they were expected to do to earn his favour.
he'd have burned that whole palace down if he could have. completely razed it to the ground and i think part of him regrets not doing it after he's left for the second time.