Win had a rough week. He tried to arrange a family meal that went sour, got a frantic call from the man he loves that convinced him to drive two hours by motorcycle in the rain to completely different province, found that man almost delirious in a cemetery before an unknown child’s grave, heard that man sob into his shoulder that life would be better if he were dead, met that man’s parents for the first time early the next morning, drove two hours back to Bangkok with a fever, and then had an emotionally turbulent build-up with Team that left them both in tears.
And because of that, I think it makes sense that Win had no idea how to answer Team’s question of what they are to each other. Their relationship status has always been nebulous, but as @nejineeee and I were just discussing, Win also kind of had his confidence torn down piece by piece throughout this episode.
First when Team told Win to leave his room. As far as Win knows, he hasn’t done anything to be kicked out for. He doesn’t know Team just had an emotionally raw conversation with his friends that’s put him on his back foot. He just knows he had a fever the night before, he was allowed to stay then, and now Team’s telling him to go to his own room seemingly for no reason.
Win looks genuinely confused and hurt, and it probably wouldn’t occur to him to think so, but there’s an imbalance here. Win’s allowed Team to use his room as if it were his: he sleeps there, showers there, even borrows Win’s clothes freely. But Team’s room is still only Team’s. And that’s Team’s right, of course, but it gives us an idea of how Win could be interpreting Team’s side of things.
We know Team loves Win, and so does the alphabet gang and now the traffic light gang, but he can’t say it to Win himself. Team is terrified of losing the most important person in his life—someone he didn’t even know a year ago!—who’s become so significant to Team that he introduced him to his parents and wants to be significant to him, too. He can’t imagine life without him anymore.
But when Win makes up an excuse to stay in Team’s room for the night, that his fever is still lingering, Team argues back. Maybe because he wants some degree of control back, to keep for himself some small part of his life that Win hasn’t totally absorbed yet.
Win doesn’t know that’s what’s going on, though.
He just looks genuinely vulnerable and almost nervous that Team really does want him gone. When he’s done nothing wrong—in fact, when he’s only done things right. All he did was rely on Team while sick, so is that where his mind goes? This is what happens when you’re a burden to others? They get bored of you and kick you out?
And in terms of character growth, I was so proud of Win here. This scene is the first and only time so far that he’s genuinely gone against what Team claims to want. Every time before, Win’s ultimately backed off and respected Team’s space (King of Consent TM), but now, he finally pushes back, and purely because he wants to be near Team.
He’s worried about Team. He’s saved this kid from nearly drowning, and then only the night before he was sobbing into Win’s shoulder that life would be better if he were dead.
What Team said to Manaow and Pharm about Win is also true of Win: he can’t imagine himself without Team anymore. And given Win’s fear of being alone, being left, could there be anything scarier for him than realizing Team is that important to him?
And yet, despite pushing back and ignoring Team’s protests, when Team does join him in bed, Win gives Team this searching look below. I interpreted it as Win checking whether Team is actually uncomfortable. If Team really does want Win to leave. Because I think he would have, if Team had said just one more annoyed hia here.
Yet, when Team says nothing more…
Win loves him so much, and honestly, what he’s been doing for Team would probably work for a lot of people. Team just needs more stability and a level of bluntness than Win can offer him at this stage.
Then they arrive at the resort, and Team claims that he doesn’t want to room with Win. To the point where he’s literally screaming “HELP ME” to his best friend.
And sure, that’s How Team Is, and he doesn’t mean it really, but that’s also the second time in less than twelve hours that Team has expressed displeasure at the suggestion of sharing a bed with someone he’s spent months actively seeking out for exactly that purpose.
Incremental damage to your defenses is still damage.
Then, there’s the bottle game where Team (correctly) tells Dean he isn’t dating anyone. And he isn’t, and there are ways to change that, but oh, how that must sting for Win to hear aloud after everything they’ve been through in the past week.
It’s entirely possible that Win just doesn’t understand what Team needs from him. He’s waiting for Team, but that’s not what Team needs.
After that, Team ends their kiss on the dock without explanation and leaves Win alone there.
I think it’s easy to see Team’s side throughout the series because we’ve seen him seek help from his friends and heard what he’s thinking and feeling.
Win’s less forthcoming, and I think that’s why he’s so broken by this whole episode. He’s always faster to care for others than he is to seek counsel for himself. But during the scene where he’s sick, Win doesn’t object to Team taking care of him. On the contrary, he seems quietly undone by it.
Win is just so young himself. He’s only two years older than Team, and this whole situation is just as new to him. He doesn’t know what he’s doing or what he should say. He just wants to feel wanted by the person he loves to a degree that scares him, and he’s trying to communicate in the ways that feel safe to him.
In the next episode, he’ll make it right. They’ll finally talk, and there’ll be tears and catharsis.
But I think this episode did a strong job of showing why Win hesitated when Team asked him what they are to each other. For all we know, Win might’ve hesitated because he’s stuck between two answers: what they are and what Win wishes they were.
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