rei

tw; ed vent × 18y × she/her

[reiisded]

if i didnt binge so much i could have been here already

[reiisded]

literally i got worse lmao k!ll me please

[reiisded]

DIET ACCOUNTABILITY

I’m gonna follow this and then do reverse dieting to maintain the weight loss :P

DAY 1: DAY 2: DAY 3: DAY 4: DAY 5: DAY 6: DAY 7: DAY 8: DAY 9: DAY 10: DAY 11: DAY 12: DAY 13: DAY 14: DAY 15:

[reiisded]

why the fuck do i feel so weak from one day of low restriction? im gonna finish this week idc if i faint or pass out

[cockroachmotherfucker10]

[reiisded]

and then comes the guilt making me fast again :D

[valtsv]

*suddenly realizes i'm horrifically lonely and haven't done anything meaningful with my life and don't know what i can do to change that at this point while in the line at the grocery store*

[reiisded]

day 1 of my 7 day fast done :]

[reiisded]

[angelsklnn]

people don’t understand how mentally draining having an eating disorder is. they assume you just skip a meal a day and then boom you lose like 30 pounds then recover. they don’t realize that you lose all your energy and can barely even function. you lose friends over it, get horrible grades, have to stop working, lose interest & energy in pursuing passions and hobbies. it fucking sucks and they make it so obvious they don’t give a shit about us.

[peonykx]

my brain: i need food i’m dying please feed me

me: eats

my brain: you fat fucking bitch

[preestine]

these are some reasons why your weight might have spiked up overnight:

✔ you upped your sodium intake so now your body is holding onto water ✔ you ate more carbs than usual so now they are acting like sponges and holding onto water ✔ you exercised (especially strength training with weights) and now your muscles are repairing themselves to grow by holding onto more nutrients  ✔ you ate later than usual the night before so the stomach is still digesting the food ✔ you weighted yourself earlier than usual so the stomach had less time to digest food ✔ you haven’t pooped yet ✔ your body is stressed (for example by eating too few calories) and so it’s holding onto water as a defense mechanism

these are not:

✖ you went over your limit by a few hundreds kcal ✖ you ate carbs/fats/fear foods ✖ you are a failure ✖ your ed/obsession/coping mechanism is not real or valid give it another day or two and everything will be back to normal. 

take a deep breath. 

everything is fine. 

i promise. and if you are still not convinced there are so many people out here myself included that can reassure you again and again about it.

[daintyandpale]

Small satisfactions that my weight loss has given me in the past week: 🖤Even my face has changed. It is still round, it will always be, but it’s not chubby anymore. My dimples are more visible. I have an actual jawline and I can slightly see my cheekbones and a bit of contour. I’m also even paler than before, if possible, wich fits my aesthetic. 🖤I can feel my ribs and my hipbones. When I run an hand on my bones, I feel like I actually love my body. 🖤When I go shopping, employers look at me and say “you’re so tiny” with that little, satisfying envy. 🖤All the adults I know are all like “okay, you look much better now… but please stop. Don’t lose any more weight.” 🖤There’s this boy I like, well, he’s really really thin. And all of our friends make jokes about the fact that we’re the same size and that so maybe we should be together. 🖤My best friends always asks me if I ate, and it makes me feel important. 🖤My grandma has learnt to cook small portions for “Emma’s tiny stomach.” 🖤Last night I was out with one of my friends and she made A LOT of comments about how perfect my legs were. I remember that, two years ago, she was the small one, but now, when there was no place in the car, I was the one to sit on her lap. 🖤When I saw a girl from my class the other day, she asked me a billion questions about my weight loss, and she gave me that one particular concerned look as I just took a bite of cereal bread for lunch, while she was eathing a huge slice of chocolate cake. 🖤At a fete, a random boy patted my shoulder and told me I was cute and tried to hand me a card with his phone number. And he wasn’t making fun of me. When I said “no, thanks” with a little smile, he looked disappointed. 🖤I haven’t cried in the dressing rooms a single time. The only times I had to leave clothes I like, it was because they didn’t have sizes small enough. Because they didn’t carry an XS or because it was still a little loose. When there are one sizes, I still say “well this isn’t gonna fit”, but for the opposite reason. 🖤I was able to buy a bralette and other cute bras instead of having to get those contenitive cups for old women, the only ones who had C/D cups. 🖤Two days ago, I had an exam. When I found out I had passed it, I was with a friend of mine who always used to be the smaller one. I was really happy and I hugged her, and she lifted me effortlessly. I was pretty surprised by it. 🖤With certain types of tops, I can avoid wearing a bra, and my boobs don’t bounce uncomfortably, neither they look loose. The last time I wore a sundress without a bra, my friend didn’t even believe I wasn’t wearing one. 🖤I still don’t have a very defined thig gap (in the higher point of the thigh it is barely noticeable, just some millimeters) but I don’t have a chub rub either. Sometimes when I walk I have to stop because I think to myself “how the fuck am I walking? My thighs aren’t touching wtf, stop being clumsly and awkward” and then I remember. My thighs aren’t touching, because that’s what they do now. 🖤Even my teachers have commented my weight loss at the exam, and one of them joked that “studying had consumed me”

[mia-goes-ana]

get in loser, we’re romanticizing my ed so i dont eat today

[reiisded]

what if i try to follow this? 

[reiisded]

the only thing i miss about 2020 is when i was able to restrict without binging and purging all the time. jumping from anorexia to ednos to bulimia really fucked my body up.

[spookyb4by-blog]

Depression: eat EVERYTHING

ED: Starve bitch, starve!

Anxiety: Help

[pretty-girls-eat-air]

Cravings and what they mean

If you crave carbohydrates, your serotonin levels may have dropped. Eggs, cheese and pineapple are good for raising them again.

If you crave sugar, you may be dehydrated. Drink some water or green tea.

If you crave red meat, you may be deficient in iron. Eat dried fruits like figs or prunes, or beans and legumes, or take iron tablets.

If you crave dairy, your blood sugar levels may be low. Eat foods naturally high in glucose, like oranges or strawberries to raise them.

If you crave chocolate, your magnesium levels may be low. Eat brown rice, whole grain bread or spinach to raise them.

If you crave salt, your blood pressure may be low. Eat salted nuts, whole wheat pretzels, or drink salted water to raise it. If that doesn’t work, you may be dehydrated. Drink water or green tea. 

If you crave bread, your nitrogen levels may be low. Eat turkey, black beans or brown rice to raise them. 

If you crave fried foods, you may be fatigued. Eat slow energy releasing foods like bananas or whole grain bread, or take a nap. 

[edthingz]

fragile arms and legs concealed and smothered by baggie clothes and long sleeves. eight lines etched into her decaying skin spell out the daunting word, fat. a singular three letter word that controls the very essence of her life and soul, it becomes a priority to be the thinnest, dainty enough to sit on pure white clouds without out ever leaving a trace. depriving and dying she’s pushing the limit, the number on the scale becomes minuscule, but it’s never enough. it will never be enough, not for her. she spends the days of melancholy getting high off of the feeling of her hollowed stomach becoming concave, her hipbones and ribs become more and more prominent at the cost of feeling faint, but every high ends when she loses control and is found with her fingers down her throat as though calories are an acidic toxin, acidic like the bile being expelled from her stomach and out her mouth into a bowl of chewed food. decaying, disintegrating, dead.

[relapserafa-deactivated20210901]

You ever share your struggles with food with someone to seek help and their reaction pushes you further into your disorder?

[reiisded]

the way my friends started to trigger me only after i told them about my disorder. isnt it funny how that works?