@reikyaoi - Tumblr Blog

night at the museum

pairing; hakaze kaoru/sakuma rei

word count; 9.7k

characters; hakaze kaoru, sakuma rei, oogami kouga, aoi hinata, aoi yuta

ao3 link

━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━

There is one thing the Exhibition is known for in particular: since 199X, every single person or group who had ever tried to pull off a heist there had gotten caught, and was later arrested after the fact. The place is infamous within their circles; those who don masks and have a flair for the dramatic; for being a total death sentence for any phantom thief, or any thief at all, who even attempted anything there. It was something that the administration took great pride in, that no thief had ever been successful in stealing from them.

If Kaoru could pull off what he came to do tonight, it would cement him as the greatest thief alive.

━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━

my reikao phantom thief/painting fic that i posted for reikao week and never uploaded to tumblr... oopsyyyyy

“Alarm systems are down, cameras are frozen, and Oo— I mean, Vulparia, took care of all the on-site security. You have about twenty minutes to get in and get out. Maybe even less. Good luck~!”

Kaoru can almost hear Koga’s eyeroll over the comm. “Would it kill ya to make sure you don’t accidentally get me arrested. There always could be someone listenin’ to our comms.”

“There isn’t,” Yuta says bluntly, a stark contrast to his twin’s lax attitude surrounding the whole heist thing. “We would know if there was. Besides, they don’t even know we’re even here yet. That being said, Foxglove, I can see you haven’t moved yet… Hurry.”

Kaoru lets out an airy laugh at Yuta’s insistence. “I know, I know~! I was just taking a moment to take it all in.” To support his statement, he inhales a calming breath of air. He looks out over the sweeping cityscape. Kaoru would never admit it aloud, but the weight of this specific job is starting to get to him.

Currently, Kaoru stands atop the skylight of the National Exhibition of Art in the city of Bucharest, Romania. It’s entirely different from the electric neon skyline of Tokyo. Its architecture looks as if it were from multiple different eras— medieval historic buildings, modern skyscrapers, and a sprawling mix of buildings that intermingles both art nouveau and art deco into its cityscape. The diverse collection of different styles is charming, he thinks to himself.

Far off in the distance, Kaoru can hear the sound of the night life scene of Lipscani. They won’t notice him, or pay attention to him if they did, being too far gone on alcohol to care. If he listens hard enough it’s almost like he has an audience. He closes his eyes and exhales; an attempt to release his nerves and let the wind carry them away into the city.

“You can take it all in on your way out of the buildin’. Wait any longer and we're gonna miss our chance.” Koga grumbles. “You of all people know how important this one is.”

And Kaoru does know. The National Exhibition is not in any way any more remarkable than any other museum he’s stolen from in the past. To Kaoru, who has no real personal stake in the world of fine art outside of the thrill he got from taking it in grand fashion, its selection of art is diverse and beautiful, an array of multiple different styles and cultures. But to critics? The collection is far more modest than some of the more well-renowned museums even just within Romania. It’s also noted to be eclectic, as if, in the words of certain snobby museum connoisseurs, the curator “had no vision behind the gathering of material.”

However, there is one thing the Exhibition is known for in particular: since 199X, every single person or group who had ever tried to pull off a heist there had gotten caught, and was later arrested after the fact. The place is infamous within their circles; those who don masks and have a flair for the dramatic; for being a total death sentence for any phantom thief, or any thief at all, who even attempted anything there. It was something that the administration took great pride in, that no thief had ever been successful in stealing from them.

No one had ever been able to crack the code on how exactly the museum always figured out that they were being robbed, but they always did, every time, without fail. The weirder part— the museum never had this reputation prior to around 199X. There have been five attempts since then. Not a single one has been successful, and the story goes about the same way every time: the thief gets away, they make off with whatever it was that they took, but they never make it far. Their identity is always somehow discovered by the museum administration, and they’re always eventually tracked down and arrested.

The thought sends a shudder down Kaoru’s back. It certainly is a huge risk to rob a museum with such a daunting reputation, but he’s confident that of all people, he can pull it off. His masked face has already been plastered across wanted posters internationally. Bulbs of Digitalis purpurea , commonly known as foxglove, had become a calling card synonymous with his presence, thus earning him his name as intended.

He’s trying not to worry too much. Hinata and Yuta had assured him that they had things under control. In fact, they had even noted how old and outdated the Exhibition’s security system was. “It’s as if it hasn’t been upgraded since… I’d say… maybe around 201X? It was reallyyyy~ easy to get into this thing and trick it into thinking we’re the administrator,” Hinata had said laxly.

“The last heist attempt was around then,” Koga had added. “Have they seriously not upgraded it since?”

“If they haven’t, then that's better for us, but we shouldn’t let our guard down just yet,” Yuta chimed in. “It could all just be a red herring. If it were really this simple, someone’s attempt would have been successful by now. We can’t let our guard down and just assume it’ll be easy just because it looks like it will be. The Exhibition definitely has other tricks up their sleeves, we just need to pinpoint what they are.”

The four of them had spent the better part of a year scoping the place out. They’d come to find out through the twins’ meticulous datamining that the museum had a whole other underground security system, much more sophisticated than their surface level one. The cameras were better hidden, and the alarm system was completely silent and so undetectable that you wouldn't even know you had tripped it until it was too late. It took months to get inside and slowly disable it without raising any eyebrows, but eventually, they did it. They had successfully infiltrated the impenetrable wall that was the security system of some random B-tier museum in Romania.

They’d spent another month doing whatever undercover searching they could to see if there could possibly be another security measure they missed. Despite the high defense around the secondary system, Hinata and Yuta both noted that the security system they uncovered was… fairly standard. Much more modern than their surface level one, but still, about the same as any other museum. It was strange. Why bother going to such lengths to hide such a basic system? Still, the search came up with nothing. Every protective layer in the Exhibition Gallery had been broken through, and they were defenseless. The time was now.

If Kaoru could pull off what he came to do tonight, it would cement him as the greatest thief alive.

Kaoru makes not a single sound as he drops onto the floor of the museum's main hall, dusting off his blazer. “The eagle has landed~ ” he whispers happily into his ear piece.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ corny.” Koga huffs into his microphone.

Attempting to play off his nerves, Kaoru quietly laughs. “Just trying to keep things light, Koga-kun.”

Turning on his heel, Kaoru begins his stealth expedition to the impressionism exhibit where their target hangs. Claude Monet’s “ Camille ” , a life sized portrait of the esteemed painter’s wife and life long muse. They had figured, hey, go big or go home. It is by far the Exhibition’s greatest pull, being one of Monet’s more famous paintings. Depicting the painter’s future wife in a green and black striped silk dress over a black jacket trimmed with fur, apparently it’s best known for its use of color and movement of the dress… or something. Kaoru had done his research over the past couple months, and he personally much prefers Monet’s more intimate pieces of Camille. Still, it’s obvious how much he adored her from the way he depicted her.

Managing to steal anything from the museum would be a feat within itself, but stealing Camille was the boldest move. To steal her and also slight the museum administration? The notoriety and infamy that would come with pulling that off?

It’s a temptation simply too irresistible to refuse.

Koga had already done his half of the plan, going through and clearing out all the on site security. It was fairly minimal, being only a team of around six men whom Koga had described as “fuckin’ idiots.” It seems the museum administration had put all their eggs in the figurative basket of their secondary security system. Perfect.

Still, Kaoru goes about his route with the same care he would have had even if the security had not been disabled and the guards impaired. Light on his feet, he sneaks along his predetermined route. Though there’s no one there to witness his theatrics, he performs them anyways. It would be no fun if he didn’t get to tease them a little bit, even if he’s the only one who knows he's doing so.

Arriving at the entryway to the impressionism exhibit, Kaoru presses his back against the wall, taking a peek inside. He presses his finger to his ear piece. “I’m here,” he whispers. “The eagle has landed… again~ ”

Koga lets out a sigh that is also a groan, and Kaoru can practically hear the eye roll that accompanies it. It makes him suppress a giggle.

The earpiece crackles to life with Yuta’s voice, “You’re all good to enter, Foxglove. Be quick.”

“And have fun!” Hinata adds.

That does make Kaoru giggle, albeit as quietly as he can manage. “Will do~ ”

Finally entering the room, Kaoru takes in his surroundings. Nothing has changed since his last trip to the museum to memorize the layout, which is good. It means they probably didn’t suspect anything suspicious. At least, if they did, they didn’t seem to find it necessary to change the layout of the exhibit. All according to plan, all according to plan…

The room is extremely large, open and spacious with its only decor being some benches for guests to sit and admire the collection, but Kaoru always found that the paintings on the wall themselves were laid out in a somewhat disorderly fashion. They line the wall seemingly at random, ornate frames of varying sizes placed on the wall like disorganized puzzle pieces rather than a thoughtfully designed art exhibit. Though, with the way they were slotted together with no space wasted, Kaoru was certain that there was someone behind the scenes who had meticulously planned out the layout down to every last minute detail.

The layout made it so that every time Kaoru had returned to reassess the place, a new painting caught his eye. He wasn’t sure if that was the intended effect, and it was admittedly a little overwhelming to his senses, but Kaoru can admit that it probably made it fun for real art history nerds to come back on multiple occasions and find something new to appreciate each visit.

For him, however…

There was one painting that had consistently drawn his attention every time he had revisited the museum. It’s on the same back wall that holds Camille, lingering inconspicuously towards her right. It depicts a man dressed in a princely blue and white tailored suit with gold accents that Kaoru has overheard passing wannabe art historians say isn’t indicative of any defined era. He’s splayed out on a bed of white and yellow roses, and surrounded by picture frames just as embellished as the one around the painting itself. His right hand toys with a strand of hair languidly, the left one gently holds two yellow roses close to his chest, and he makes direct eye contact with the viewer, gaze inviting them to take him in. Kaoru is almost inclined to describe the look he's giving as bedroom eyes if he weren’t so self-conscious of how that would sound coming from him.

What really intrigues Kaoru about said painting is the plaque next to it.

Unknown Artist

In the Blink of an Eye— Exhibition

Unknown Year

Oil on canvas

Extremely vague, no further elaboration beyond that. No blurb or description, no year, no artist to attribute the work to. Only a title, and an enigmatic one at that. Without any explanation, it doesn’t do much but confuse whatever patron decided to give it a passing glance. Most don’t even really bother with it; when you have a Claude Monet original to look at right next to it, who would? Anyone that did only bothered to comment on the attractiveness of the portrait’s subject. Which, again, Kaoru could acknowledge, but not relate to.

It almost made Kaoru feel bad for… it. The painting. The lack of care people gave it wasn’t unjustified given the lack of information, but it only made him more curious about its origin. He’d overheard others wonder the same thing, though most shrugged it off and moved along to whatever caught their eyes next, paintings with more clear-cut stories. He just… he just thinks it's a shame. Surely the artist didn’t paint this piece for it to be so transient in people's minds. The man in the portrait’s intense eyes demand attention, yet in a room full of beautiful paintings, he’s barely afforded anything more than a slight ogling. It makes Kaoru, ever the romantic, pity it.

Kaoru had never really been much of a fine art fan the way one might expect him to be, considering his line of work. But this painting, this man and the treatment he’s given from the viewing public makes Kaoru wonder if the title became something of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Despite the complicated feelings the painting conjures, it is not tonight's target. Kaoru had briefly considered the idea, searching the piece online one sleepless night, only to find no formal record on it. Not even the museum itself had any sort of acknowledgement of its existence online, and the only thing about it Kaoru could find were forum posts filled with a handful of past visitors who had also been curious and charmed by The Exhibitionist— the name given to the man in the painting by his niche fanbase. None of them cared to speculate on the value of the painting, which was all Kaoru was interested in.

“We meet again~ ” Kaoru says in a low voice, mindful that he still needs to be quiet. Playfully, he winks at The Exhibitionist. “Sorry, I don’t really swing that way. I’m more into older girls,” he teases, glancing at Camille as he says it.

His comm crackles to life. “Can you quit fuckin’ around?” Koga says at the same time that Hinata begins to add something about how the real life Camille Doncieux was only around nineteen years old when “Camille in the Green Dress” was painted.

Kaoru rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well, she’s been dead for like, over a hundred years! So she's old for me!” Looking back at Camille, he adds, “Not that that’s a problem!”

Koga groans. “I’m gonna wake one of these guards back up and tell him to go get you so he can lock you up.”

“Love you too~ ” Kaoru sing-songs as he taps his earpiece to mute himself.

“Alone at last…” he whispers to Camille, unable to resist getting one last joke in. Satisfied with himself, he stops wasting time. Pulling his jacket open, Kaoru begins to pull out everything he’ll need to free Camille of her fancy prison.

“Don’t worry, beautiful, once I get you out of here, you’ll be safe with my friends and me,” he says idly as he approaches her, laser pen ready to cut through the glass that protects her.

“Ohoho… Is it not considered rude these days to abduct a lady from her home?” a disembodied voice rings, echoing throughout the room.

Kaoru goes very, very still as his blood runs completely cold. Every hair on his body stands on end as he tries to process what he just heard.

“Might I suggest asking her out for dinner first? It would be quite hard to say no to a handsome gentleman such as yourself,” the voice purrs. It’s speaking fluent, albeit long outdated, Japanese.

There was someone in this room with him. Someone who knew he specifically would be here.

Coming to his senses, Kaoru whips his head around and swiftly draws his handgun Koga had insisted he carried, readying his finger to pull the trigger to save himself.

Kaoru had really hoped that he’d never run into a situation where he would be forced to use it. He enjoys the rush of stealing, but harming someone is a whole other thing. Unfortunately, it seems Kaoru’s luck has finally run out. He does his best to will his hands to stop trembling as he holds the gun the way Koga taught him to.

He doesn’t say anything in response to the voice, not wanting to give up any potential leverage he may have. Like a leopard, he slowly stalks forward, looking for any signs of life.

Though, as Kaoru’s eyes scan the exhibit, there’s no movement or misplaced shadows, no sound… Nobody. It’s like the voice had come from a completely incorporeal source.

“You know,” the voice pipes back up again, “as far as I can tell, the safety of your gun is not currently switched off.”

Kaoru cringes, switching the safety off. He feels his heartbeat in his ears as he shifts the gun to his left hand and presses a shaking finger against his earpiece.

“Sylvatica?”

Yuta’s voice crackles to life. “What’s up?”

“Can you do a heat signature scan for me?”

Yuta makes a noise of confusion. “Eh? Why? I’m absolutely positive there's no one in there with you right now.”

He hears another line open as Hinata joins the conversation, “Is something wrong, Foxglove?”

Kaoru takes a deep breath, trying to control his uneasy heart rate. “I heard a voice. I know I did. I think there's someone in here with me.”

“A voice?” Hinata asks.

A few seconds of typing, and then, “That’s not possible,” Yuta said, his befuddlement palpable. “There's nobody else in there, the scan says you’re completely alone— ”

“You know, dear thief, they say it's considered rude to ignore someone right in front of you to have a conversation on the telephone.”

Kaoru jumps in surprise, years of stealth experience kicking in as he lands soundlessly like a cat.

“Hak— Foxglove?!”

“Ah, do you mind taking that thing out, dear thief? I’d like to have a conversation with you.”

Kaoru’s eyes rapidly jump from corner to corner as he points his gun wildly in every direction. Finally losing it, Kaoru snaps. “Who's there?” he whisper-yells. “Where are you?!”

The voice makes a tsk sound. “And here I thought I had caught your gaze lingering on me as you entered… Such a shame I am but a fleeting aesthetic pleasure to you.”

Kaoru’s face scrunches in confusion as he processes what was just said to him. It takes him a second, but a feeling of disbelief washes over him as he comes to the only possible conclusion. It wouldn’t make an ounce of sense, but it’s the only answer he can think of. Slowly, a part of him expecting to be wrong, he looks up at the painting of the beautiful man adorned in yellow roses.

As he looks up, Kaoru’s stomach drops at the realization that the man depicted in the painting is most certainly not in the same position he was in when he had entered the room. Now, rather than lying languidly amongst his roses and frames, he’s sitting up on his hip and balancing himself with his hands.

The most horrifying part is that the painting… is moving . The man toys with a strand of his hair. Kaoru’s eyes shake as he notes how the brush strokes of the painting seem to bend and redirect themselves to aid the motion, almost as if the action were animated frame by frame.

At the sight of the way it had petrified Kaoru in both shock and fear, the painting frowns. It moves in real time, painted shadows shifting to accommodate the motion.

What the fuck.

“Do not be so alarmed, dear thief,” the painting comforts. “I only wish to speak with you.”

“ Hakaze-senpai?! ” Yuta says urgently, dropping his false name completely. “Is everything alright? Do you need us to get you out of there?”

Recovering from his shock, Kaoru slowly brings his shaking hand to his ear piece. “E— everything is fine. It was a false alarm,” he manages to stutter out. “Just a slight… complication.”

“Your voice is shaking and you went completely silent on us. What kind of ‘slight complication’ wa— ”

Kaoru rips out his ear piece. This is something he would never do under normal circumstances, knowing that Hinata and Yuta acted as his spotters who would aid him from afar if he needed them. However, it seems that this heist is starting to look like anything but normal. He observes the painting, which smiles in satisfaction at him as it watches Kaoru listen to his request.

“Now that we are in private… Hello.” The painting’s smile deepens, a mysterious gleam in its eye as it looks at Kaoru. It’s strange to be able to watch as such clear emotions are depicted on the face of someone two-dimensional. Seeing the colors and shadows of its face changing literally right in front of him makes the painting seem more expressive than even an actual person.

“... Hi?” Kaoru replies, recovering from the shock at the odd remark. Hello? That’s what it— he — had to say?

“I apologize. You must be terribly confused at the moment… Although, your break in was quite impressive. Perhaps you have seen other paintings who can move? Judging by your reaction, though, I wouldn’t think that to be the case.”

Kaoru blinks slowly at him. “No… No, this is a first for me.”

The painting leans forward in interest. “I’m afraid we don’t have much time. Do you have a name?”

“... Not one I’d ever share willingly.”

The painting chuckles at that. “That’s fair, I suppose. You are meant to be committing an illegal act, after all.”

Putting a gentle hand over his chest, the man in the painting leans forward in a subtle bow. “My name is Rei. Sakuma Rei.” He says his name as if it’s an affirmation, rather than something he is regularly called by. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you, dear thief.”

Despite the painting putting on the charm, Kaoru rolls his eyes. “Do you say that to every phantom thief who comes through the door?” he chastises.

The painting— Rei— shrugs. “Not all of them. Only the best of you.”

Kaoru scoffs. “And how many has that been, exactly?”

Rei pretends to ponder the question for a moment. “Just you, dear thief. I’ve already determined you’re the only one that's ever been worthy of my commendation~ ”

“... Whatever,” Kaoru mutters, discomfort settling in his chest. “I doubt you’ve even seen one in a while. This place has quiteeee the reputation you know.”

Rei hums. “Does it?”

Kaoru can tell from the tone of his voice that Rei is feigning ignorance. It annoys him. “It does. Nobody who's ever tried to steal from this museum has ever gotten away with it.”

“Oh my…”

“Yeah,” Kaoru replies, annoyed at the lack of enthusiasm. “And I’m kind of trying to be the first. So do you mind if I get back to that?”

An impish glint re-enters the painting's ruby red eyes. “Am I boring you, dear thief?”

Kaoru huffs. “A painting that talks and moves is anything but boring. But I came here with a job to do, and I’m kindaaa running out of time to do it. It was reallyyyy nice to meet you, Sakuma-san, but I have to get moving.”

He turns on his heel, walking away and putting his earpiece back in. Slotting it back into his ear, he taps it to reinitiate the connection. “Sorry guys, I— ”

“It appears you have not yet put two and two together, dear thief.” Rei’s voice booms from behind him, much louder than Kaoru had assumed he could get, sending chills down his spine. It makes him remove his finger from the earpiece in shock.

“What was that?!” Hinata and Yuta both exclaim in unison. Kaoru tugs his earpiece out again so he can listen. They’ll worry, but he can’t focus with their voices in his ear.

“You seem wiser than those who came before you. I’m sure you and your friends must have dissected every news report, police report, interview, testimony— everything.” With his back turned, Kaoru can’t see the mischievous smile on his face, but he can hear it in his voice. “I’m sure you all took every precaution necessary to make sure you would not make the same mistakes as them.”

Kaoru turns back towards Rei, only to see that Rei seems to have gotten as close as possible. His face is now extremely close, and it breaks Kaoru’s brain a little bit to watch as Rei seems to bend reality to change the perspective of his painting.

Rei backs up, sighing dramatically. “However, it seems you have made a most fatal mistake.”

“I imagine that in every report, it is mentioned that the heist committed by the criminals was actually successful in most cases, until the museum itself discovered some sort of damning evidence that always directly linked a suspect to the crime. I imagine you and your friends must have naively assumed that you would not make such a foolish mistake. But I’d like to propose to you a new question…

“...knowing what you know now, would it be possible for you to consider more… abstract answers to the question of why this museum in particular has never been able to successfully be stolen from?”

Kaoru’s blood goes cold and he feels his heart sink to the floor. Fuck.

Despite the mask covering his face, Rei must be able to see how this information has affected Kaoru’s demeanor, as his casual smile suddenly turns into something more like a Cheshire grin. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, dear thief. It’s simply why I’m here.”

Kaoru has been stealing as a phantom thief for the majority of his young adult life, and he has never been caught. He has never so much even been a suspect in any of his heists, despite the name Foxglove being well-known amongst the press. In his line of work, this means he is very good at his job, especially with some of the things he has managed to obtain in his career. Priceless jewels, artifacts, paintings… And never once had he ever been nervous about getting caught. He’s good at what he does and he knows it.

But this… This situation is something that no thief, no normal person could ever have accounted for. An out-of-place painting in the museum he is currently attempting to rob is sentient and apparently snitching on anyone who dares to attempt a burglary. It sounds stupid when he lays it out for himself like that.

One of the primary reasons Kaoru has gotten this far is because he knows when to walk away, and now seems like the perfect time to do just that. He would still be absolutely fucked, but at least he wouldn’t have taken anything and would only be charged with breaking and entering, which he could maybe get off for… If he didn’t have such an extensive laundry list of past offenses from all his past heists, and one of the most recognizable names in the media and the world of phantom thieves. It hits Kaoru all at once just how screwed they all are.

Okay, forget this place. Forget the notoriety he would gain from successfully completing this job. It evidently isn’t happening and he might as well save himself while he can. He needs to go find Koga and tell him that the job is off and—

Kaoru moves to make a dash to the area of the museum where he knows Koga is keeping watch; if they have one sentient painting, then they may have another or many others who are on the lookout for sticky-fingered theives. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t heard from Koga in a while. From experience, he imagines they don’t have much time before someone starts to realize what’s happening and the police show up anyways, and with the new knowledge of a painting that is planning on ratting him out, Kaoru doesn’t exactly know what the timeline for the conclusion of this job is looking like. Maybe if he acts fast, he can at least get Koga out of this.

“Wait,” he hears from behind him as he begins to frantically make his way towards the exit.

“Nope. No,” Kaoru says decisively. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m already screwed enough as is— ”

“As previously stated,” Rei interrupts, “you seem smarter than those who came before you. Prettier, as well. So I have an offer for you. One that will surely benefit us both.”

Kaoru stops, letting out a frustrated huff. “What could you possibly offer m— ”

“Take me with you.”

For a second time tonight, Kaoru is thrown for a loop. “Huh?”

“Steal me. This is the deal I am offering to you: you steal me, and I am finally allowed to leave behind this wretchedly boring life of observing and being observed, and you don’t get caught, as there is no one to alert the museum higher ups of the identity of the intruder.” Rei waves his hand casually. “It seems like a win-win situation, no?”

Slowly, and against his better judgment, Kaoru walks back to where Rei hangs. He still has the casual smile plastered on his face, though Kaoru can’t really read his eyes anymore, like Rei’s no longer allowing him to. Kaoru has seen a lot of paintings in a lot of different museums all over the world, and he’s never seen one with an expression so unknowable. It’s a little uncanny.

Seeing Kaoru thinking it over, Rei continues his persuasion. “I’m aware that I am not as lucrative a prize as the piece you came here in an attempt to obtain, but I imagine that something is better than nothing and being imprisoned…”

Well. He does have a point there.

Running out of time and not having a better idea, Kaoru puts his ear piece back in. “Erm, Linnaea, Sylvatica?”

“Ha— Foxglove! What happened, the camera feeds are still off so I don’t— ”

He looks over at Rei and holds eye contact with him, glaring into his ruby red eyes. “Change of plans. We’re not bringing home Camille tonight.”

The painting’s face shifts into a satisfied grin.

“What?!” Hinata joins Yuta to exclaim.

“Hakaze-senpai, you’re scaring us. We all agreed on Camille! You were the one who insisted it had to be the most famous one! What’s going on?!”

“I’ll… I’ll explain— or like, show you guys later. See you soon, get ready to leave quickly.”

“...” Back in the inconspicuous van they use as a command center, Hinata and Yuta sense they’re not getting a more concrete answer than that, and time is of the essence. So they give each other a nod, and both focus back on the task at hand. “All right. Currently routing your escape to be able to meet up with Vulparia. We’ll see you shortly.”

With his team slightly clued in, Kaoru then moves to the wall Rei’s frame is resting on.

“My, even more beautiful up close. Even with the mask~ ” Rei flirts. “Though, with how much you’ve stared at me in the past, I’ve gotten quite good views of you without it.”

“Can you please not make this weird?” Kaoru asks, though not really acknowledging this; the whole thing is weird. The painting flirting with him is only about a 0.2% uptick in weirdness.

Rei’s eyes seem to suggest he got a kick out of that. “As you wish.”

Kaoru rolls his eyes. Examining Rei’s frame, it’s just about a meter long and probably around fifty to sixty centimeters tall. He pauses. “Is it going to like, hurt you or something if I take you out of the frame and roll you up?” Rei seems to ponder this. “No; however, it certainly wouldn’t be appreciated. It seems I’m well within your capacity to carry as is, no?” he says matter-of-factly.

Kaoru glares at him. “Do you understand how this works at all?! I need to get you out discreetly . I can’t just carry you out of the building still in your frame, you're too big.”

Rei’s face melts into something playful. “My, I haven’t heard a man say something like that to me in years ~ ”

So not only is he being blackmailed to steal a painting he doesn’t want to, by the painting itself, but said painting is also a weird pervert. Great.

Resisting the urge to let out a guttural groan of frustration at the turn this night had taken, Kaoru decisively flips Rei over and begins attempting to remove him from the frame.

He hears the man in the painting sigh, “Such a shame. They made this frame specially for me, you know?”

“I really don’t care,” Kaoru whispers. In his head, having accepted what’s happening, he’s now mourning the notoriety his name would have gained if he had managed to steal Camille. With its size, it would’ve been harder to execute. He would have had to take her off the wall, pull the painting out as gently as possible, roll her up, get the frame back on the wall, and then get out, all within about ten minutes before anyone could even realize what was going on. She’s definitely more secure than Rei is, and Kaoru was looking forward to having to deal with any sort of extra safety or security measures on the fly.

It was supposed to be part of the fun of the night; people were going to wonder how he even got the huge thing out of the museum so inconspicuously, and in such a short time frame. Media speculation would have gone on for weeks. Thousands of cute girls would have had his name on the tips of their tongues once again, the picturesque image of a suave gentleman thief. A random, unrenowned piece, omitted from any sort of official gallery highlights list only gets him the points for having been able to get into the museum in the first place and take it. He doubts they’d even really wonder how he got it out of the building with how averagely sized it is. Given that Rei is the backbone of their security system, Kaoru wonders if they’d even alert the media at all. The thought makes him pout.

Rei’s frame really isn’t safeguarded at all, only being tacked into place behind a standard moisture barrier. It’s child’s play to remove compared to some of the stuff Kaoru has done in his storied career. He pulls a screwdriver out of his jacket and makes quick work out of unscrewing the eight mending plates holding it in place. From there, he pops up the backing layer and carefully takes Rei out, flipping him over in the process.

“Hello, my dear thief,” Rei greets, waving at him. Seeing him move up close only makes the entire thing make less sense.

Kaoru sticks his nose up. “I have nothing more to say to you.”

Rei sulks at him, crimson eyes somehow looking wet, accentuated with more prominent white highlights. “Don’t be like that, Kaoru-kun…”

For what seems like the hundredth time tonight, Kaoru feels lightheaded. Sighing deeply, he looks up at the ceiling in defeat. “How do you know my name?” he asks, though the answer hardly matters to him by now.

He can still hear the smile in Rei’s voice, though. “You gave it to a very lovely young woman one of the many times you came to visit me~!”

Kaoru blinks, processing. “I wasn’t visiting you, I was here to see— ” He gasps in sudden realization, “Does that mean you knew I was going to be here?!”

“Well…” Rei hesitates, at least having the decency to look guilty. “You seemed to be here so often that I maybe… had my suspicions...”

“Does anyone else know I’m here right now?” Kaoru growls at him.

“No, I made sure to keep it under wraps~ ” Rei says cheerfully, dropping the act. The sudden shift from the enigmatic demeanor five minutes ago to this jovial one he was playing now, after getting what he wanted, only serves to get on Kaoru’s nerves even more.

“The heads of the museum trust my judgement completely. With how often you were here, I suspected you were possibly planning a heist. Of course, students of the arts tend to frequent the museum more often than the average patron, most of whom are tourists, but I always noticed you seemed to care more about the security of both the room itself and of dear Camille over there, which is what led me to the conclusion that you were a thief. However, I also noticed that I was the only piece you paid attention to with any sort of genuine consideration. Somehow, I seemed to have caught your wandering eye each time you visited. I was flattered, really~ From there it was just a matter of waiting for you to show up. I felt like a princess locked up in a tower waiting for my knight in shining armor…” he finishes wistfully.

To himself, Kaoru wonders why Rei chose him specifically to blackmail. If he’s the reason that thieves kept getting busted at this museum, then couldn’t he have done this whole blackmail song and dance at any point in the past? Kaoru suspects that Rei is hiding his genuine reasoning from him, but at the moment, he can’t find it within himself to care. He’ll probably get a chance to ask him later, as long as they don’t get caught because Rei won’t shut up.

He sighs again, that being all he can do at this point. “All right, whatever. We’re running out of time.” Kaoru slings the transport tube over his shoulder, moving to roll Rei up.

“Kaoru-kun… please don’t… we can talk about this…” Rei begs, looking at him with those same soggy eyes as before.

Kaoru scowls at him. “I think you’ve said enough,” he says, feeling smug knowing he finally has some leverage over Rei.

He hears Rei begin to say something, but Kaoru hastily rolls him up so he won’t have to hear whatever it is. Through the thick canvas, he sounds muffled to the point that his words are unintelligible. Kaoru grins.

Plopping Rei into the tube and capping it, he chuckles. “I think I like you better like this~ ” Now, Kaoru can’t hear anything at all.

He really is running out of time though, so now that Rei has been dealt with, he focuses back on the task at hand. He throws the strap of the tube back over his shoulder and promptly begins to put the frame back together, screwing the mending plates in with nimble precision.

Once finished, Kaoru rehangs the frame, now missing its inhabitant. It brings him little satisfaction when Camille is still there, her coy posture now feeling ironically as though it were mocking him.

The final step is to leave his calling card, which does at least spark some joy. He pulls it out of his jacket; a vial with a few real foxglove bulbs. They’re only toxic when ingested, which does slightly dampen what he was going for by choosing a poisonous flower for his namesake, but it's the thought that counts.

Kaoru never sticks to one specific color of the flower, but for this heist, the bulb is a bright canary yellow. Embarrassing, but it was meant to match the roses painted alongside The Exhibitionist. It was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but it’s now too literal for Kaoru’s liking. At least Rei hadn’t seen them.

He gently places the vial on the ground, positioning it so it would look dramatic in her shadow. Job done, now it’s time for his grand escape.

Kaoru dashes back to the main hall, footsteps lissom, and spots the open skylight he had entered from. He moves towards it, finally putting his earpiece back in as he does so.

“Sorry about all that before,” Kaoru starts, putting back on his frivolous persona. “I’m leaving now, is Vulparia ready to go?”

Koga, for the first time in quite a while, Kaoru realizes, finally speaks up, “I had’ta go back early. You’re gonna have’ta get yourself outta this one, Foxglove.”

Kaoru clicks his tongue. “Ugh, are you serious?” He says it while already prepping his grappling device, launching its rope extension with practiced precision at the opening. “I’ll have you know, I have had quiteee the night with this one. I really don’t need these extra obstacles right now, Wan-chan~ ”

He’s exaggerating how big an inconvenience it is, because he knows it will rile Koga up, and riling Koga up always makes Kaoru feel just a little bit better about his failure.

And it does. “ You’ve had a bad night? Wait ‘til you see what fuckin’ happened to me ! And I told you to stop callin’ me that when we're workin’!”

Kaoru activates his grappling device, the rope retracting towards where he had aimed it and pulling him forward. Upon arriving at the top, he grabs hold of the edge, hikes his leg onto the adjacent panel, and uses all his upper body strength to haul himself onto the ledge, careful not to get any of his DNA on the glass.

Dusting himself off, Kaoru pushes the button on his earpiece to reply, “Did you get hurt or something? Did one of those big mean guards wake back up and try to arrest you ~ ”

“I fuckin’ did actually, asshole,” Koga sneers, and Kaoru instantly feels bad for teasing him. “They had an extra guard we didn’t know about. The bastard snuck up on me.” “Oh shit,” Kaoru says. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine enough. It’s all stuff that’ll heal.” A pause. “Would’ve been nice if you’d responded when I said somethin’, but I handled it.”

Damn. That must have been during the period where he had his earpiece out, and Rei was threatening him. “Sorry, Wan-chan, I was a little preoccupied.”

“ Tch ,” Koga says, obviously miffed. “Just get back here with Camille and I’ll feel better.”

“... Right.” Kaoru doesn't have the heart to tell poor injured Koga that the dream of obtaining Camille had died about ten minutes ago. Given their lack of response, neither did Hinata or Yuta. “... See you in a few! Linnaea, Sylvatica, are you guys both ready to get me out of here?”

After receiving an affirmative, he ends the conversation with that. He dislodges the head of his grappling device from where it had stuck, and moves the glass panel back into place. Making sure his prize of the night is secure on his back, Kaoru sprints off along the rooftops and into the night.

Kaoru ditches his costume after arriving at the planned changing site, an alley only somewhat nearby where they had parked the van Hinata and Yuta were operating out of, planned so that he’d be out of view of anyone or anything. There’s a backpack waiting for him there, big enough that he can conceal the tube as well as his outfit.

Now back in civilian clothes, Kaoru does his best to look as though he has business on the empty streets of Bucharest at three in the morning. The area they’d selected was mostly discreet side streets, and Hinata and Yuta should have frozen all the security cameras within a five block radius, allowing him to quietly disappear.

He walks in a self-assured manner, just in case there is anyone potentially watching him. After finding his way back to the van, he knocks on the back door in the rhythmic pattern they all agreed on. Kaoru hears the click of the door unlocking, and lets himself in.

“I’m back~ ” he hums, already attempting to lighten the mood. It’s not working, though; when Kaoru turns around he’s met with three thoroughly displeased faces. Hinata is pouting at him, Yuta’s exhausted scowl looks like it’s been permanently etched onto his face, and Koga, sporting a black eye and what looks like several other bruises that go on underneath his clothes, stares him down with hostile intent. Far worse than he had described.

“You’re late,” Yuta says coolly. “Would you care to explain why you caused so much trouble tonight?”

Hinata nods to back up his brother. “Because we were caught up thinking Hakaze-senpai was in trouble, we couldn’t properly warn Oogami-senpai about an extra guard we hadn’t anticipated…” He falters. “And we were also really worried about you. We thought something really bad had happened…”

Kaoru’s stomach twists at the confirmation that he’d let down his juniors. It’s an odd feeling. Despite knowing them for a few years and forming a thieving ring with them, Kaoru has never considered himself the reliable senior type. He was only ever in this business to spite his father, satisfy his innate desire for freedom to do and go as he pleased, and pick up a few adoring fangirls on the way. He’d always kept them somewhat at arm’s length, even when they tried to know more about him personally. It was better that way, it kept everything far simpler. But watching Koga try not to wince at the slight shift of his arm makes Kaoru realize just how badly he’d failed them.

He decides not to linger on the feeling. It comes with too much baggage to unpack, and now isn’t the moment to let them see him slipping. And so he deflects.

Kaoru chuckles loftily. “You guys should know not to doubt me at this point~ ” He feels like an asshole when he says it, and even worse when he sees the subtle twitch of Koga’s good eye.

“Whatever,” is all that Koga says in response, resigned. It’s so much worse than if he were mad. Kaoru could’ve worked with mad. “Hinata-kun and Yuta-kun filled me in on what happened. What’d ya end up bringing back instead of Camille?”

Kaoru sighs. “Not something that's going to get us any sort of recognition, that’s for sure. I’d be surprised if they even announced it was missing…” he mutters.

He pulls the backpack off his back, then hesitates. Up until right now, Kaoru had almost completely forgotten about the nature of… Rei. Well, he thinks to himself, at least I have a decent excuse for letting them down. As he pauses, he can tell that everyone’s patience with him is wearing thin, but he doesn’t exactly know how to explain the situation without coming across as totally crazy.

“... Before I show this to you guys, you have to promise not to freak out…” he starts. Hinata tilts his head questioningly, but other than that, no one moves, committed to their agitation. Kaoru pouts. “Guys, I’m serious, you have to promise.”

“Promise,” Yuta says flatly at the same time that Hinata says it genuinely.

“Koga-kun?”

Now having everyone's eyes on him, Koga sighs, “I promise,” he says, accentuated with an eyeroll. “Now hurry. Up.”

“Okay! Okay…” Kaoru unscrews the cap off the tube, and braces himself as he pulls it out.

He takes out the canvas and unfurls it in a singular motion. Immediately, he’s met with the sound of whining, reminding him why having Rei in the tube was ideal.

“Kaoru-kun…” Rei sniffs. “How could you leave me in there for so long… it was so dark… you’re a cruel, cruel man, Kaoru-kun…” He sniffles again to really hammer home the point. It’s Kaoru’s turn to roll his eyes, not bothering to dignify Rei with a response as he turns him towards the other members of his team.

“Oh, Kaoru-kun’s confidants. How lovely,” Kaoru hears Rei say. “My name is Sakuma Rei, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Rei must be adjusting his position in some way, because Kaoru watches as all their faces drop. Hinata and Yuta both sit up straight in their chairs, and Koga…

“THE FUCK?”

“ Shhh! ” everyone in the van says, shushing him all at once.

“My, what a lively little doggy Kaoru-kun has~ ”

“D— don’t call me that!” Koga shouts. “What the hell even is this?! Are we being pranked?!”

“Hakaze-senpai, would you care to like… explain?” Yuta asks, now too baffled to even be mad.

Kaoru grimaces. “Sakuma-san blackmailed me into taking him.”

“That doesn’t really answer my question…”

“I do admit, I did in fact conspire to extort Kaoru-kun. I apologize for any turmoil I caused in the process, but it was a necessary evil to achieve my goal,” Rei says solemnly.

“What does that even…” Yuta asks, trailing off.

Kaoru does the best job that he can to recount the details of what happened, leaving out any parts that aren’t exactly flattering to his image, like him not realizing the handgun he carried still had the safety on. Mercifully, Rei doesn’t bring it up either, allowing Kaoru to retell the story as he wants it to be heard. Kaoru can tell he considers it though, his eyes shining with a mischievous luster.

By the time Kaoru’s done, Koga has his arms crossed defiantly, leg bouncing, and is staring at the floor. He’s muttering something about how this whole thing is “Weird. It’s too fuckin’ weird.” Hinata, on the other hand, has seemingly recovered from his shock as he leans forward to get a closer look at the canvas, a curious shimmer in his eyes. He gently brushes his thumb against the canvas, right where Rei’s shoulder is. “Sakuma-san, can you feel it when I touch you there?”

“How curious you are~ ” Rei says amusedly. “No, I can’t feel anything through the confines of the canvas within which I exist. It’s a good thing too, for Kaoru-kun was not very delicate with me.”

“How rude of him! Hakaze-senpai, you should know you need to be more careful with the art we steal,” Hinata chastises, wagging his finger at him as he does so.

“You wouldn’t be careful through him either if he did to you what he did to me! He scared me really badly, and then made me take him with me, otherwise we’d have gotten busted! Sakuma-san is the entire reason the place was so secure in the first place…”

“I see…” Yuta says, leaning forward in interest. “That’s actually kind of fascinating. How’d they even get something like this in the first place?”

“Who cares! It’s a liability! If it’s been tellin’ the museum who’s tryin’ to steal from them this whole time, who’s to say this isn’t some scheme on behalf of the museum,” Koga snaps. “Plus, it’s fuckin’ freaky.”

“You wound me, Kaoru-kun’s doggy; it’s not as if there's very much I could do in a state such as this,” Rei sighs. “Though I still look and talk as one, do you not consider me to be a ‘person’?”

Koga hesitates for a moment “...Are you one? A person?” he asks, phrased as a genuine question.

The question lingers. Rei doesn’t immediately respond. It occurs to Kaoru that when he was caught up in the chaos of the night, he had never really bothered to ask the questions of how or why Rei… was. His existence was entirely illogical no matter how he came to be, but what even was he? Was this like, ghostly or demonic possession? Kaoru really hopes it isn’t. The thought of having brought a spirit into his life is almost enough to make him physically shudder. He hopes it's something more friendly, like whatever was going on with the toys in Toy Story .

Kaoru readjusts Rei so that he can view him properly. Rei maintains the same alluring, unreadable smirk that he’d held as he laid perfectly still during the museum’s daytime hours. It must come as naturally to him as breathing. Though now, Kaoru picks up on the way it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, a perceivable dullness exaggerated through a lack of any highlights.

“I was,” Rei says after a prolonged pause. “That was a long time ago. I suppose I must concede that you’re right not to consider me as such.”

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Koga grumbles.

Kaoru furrows his brow. “Are you trapped? … Or possessed?”

Rei laughs, “Not possessed, no. Not particularly trapped either, now that you’ve rescued me from my keepers,” Rei says coyly. Before anyone can challenge the non-answer, he redirects them. “Anyhow, I can assure you all that I have no means of reestablishing contact with them, and even if I was somehow able to, I would not ever attempt to. I have no intention of going back to such a pitiful life of stasis.”

“What exactly do you plan on doin’ then? I really don’t see how you're any more free with us than in there.”

“On the contrary, doggy,” Rei says. “You have already done me an immeasurable favor by whisking me off with you, Kaoru-kun. But I fear I must ask one more favor of you. I would like to humbly request that you please bring me along to wherever you are all off to next. I can assure you I’d be of much use if you plan on continuing your pilfering of similar establishments.”

Kaoru frowns, “We're not… ‘pilfering’! This is serious business to us!” he exclaims.

Rei waves him off. “However you care to define it.”

“Interesting pitch,” Yuta says. “What would you be able to do for us?”

“On top of the vast wealth of knowledge I possess, it would prove to be quite advantageous in your future endeavors to be assisted by something that is so intimately familiar with the environments you find yourselves looting, no? Plant me on the inside to have constant eyes on targets if you so desire. That’s merely one suggestion, but you all are clever children, so I’m sure you could determine an abundance of ways to use me. If that idea doesn’t please you, then I’m also open to being your cute mascot Sakuma Rei-chan~ ☆ ”

He punctuates the statement with a cutesy wink and peace sign.

Koga scoffs. “Ugh, why would we ever— ”

“Okay! I’m convinced! You can come with us, Sakuma-san!” Hinata says.

“Hey! Since when did you get the final say— ”

“I agree with Aniki. Sakuma-san poses some interesting possibilities for future jobs,” Yuta agrees.

“What the hell! Hakaze-senpai, back me up here!” Koga says, turning to him with a wild look in his eyes.

Kaoru glances over to Rei, the latter paying no mind to Koga’s yapping. He's only paying attention to Kaoru, which makes him want to start squirming, feeling hot under Rei’s gaze. His smile is as mystifying as ever.

“Kaoru-kun?” he questions. Though it isn’t phrased as a plea, Kaoru can’t help but interpret it as one.

… Despite the talk of what Rei is, if he had ever been human or something otherworldly, he was most certainly alive . Vexing as he’s been, Kaoru would feel far too guilty abandoning him, regardless of the fact that he’d be a loose end.

He gives Koga a sympathetic look, “Sorry, Koga-kun. It’s not exactly like we can leave him anywhere…”

“ Tch . Whatever,” Koga mutters, undercut by the Aoi twins high-fiving next to him. He gets up and jumps out the van’s back door, wincing as the action agitates his injuries. “We’ve gotta leave soon anyways. Start preppin’ the camera route to get us outta here.”

He slams the door behind him, leaving the twins snickering. “Don’t pay any attention to him, Sakuma-san,” Hinata says. “He gets cranky when we don’t all agree with him.”

“He’ll warm up to you eventually. Oogami-senpai is kind when you get to know him. He’s just a bit of a tsundere ,” Yuta says snidely.

Rei chuckles. “I assumed so. I have no doubt your doggy will come around to my presence after he sniffs my hand a little.”

The comment brings a smile to Kaoru’s face. It’s the first thing he’s said all night that is actually funny.

He hands Rei over to Hinata, who immediately shifts to allow Yuta to also get a closer look. “I’ll go up there and talk him down. The two of you have fun playing with Sakuma-san~ ”

The twins both call out affirmatively, and Kaoru turns to get out of the van. He’s stopped by Rei calling out to him, “Kaoru-kun.”

“Yes, Sakuma-san?” Kaoru asks, not really sure what's even left to be said.

“Thank you. I know I have caused you a significant inconvenience tonight, but I wanted to tell you that you’re a very kind person for going along with this for my sake.”

Rei has shown a considerable number of sides tonight, but this sentimental tone he’s taking up is new. Who knows if it’s real or not, but Kaoru wants to believe it’s the most honest he’s been all night.

Blush creeps onto his face at the praise. “Y— you’re welcome. I guess,” is the only thing he can think to say in response before closing the back door undignifiedly. He’s absolutely sure the twins are giggling about it as he walks away.

“You’re all red,” Koga says matter-of-factly as Kaoru gets in the passenger seat.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kaoru replies defensively, turning his face away.

Koga gives him a skeptical look, but doesn’t push for more information. He pulls the stick shift and puts the van in drive, peeling off the curb. “So, what do we plan on doing with him?”

“Well…” Kaoru says, thinking. “We should probably take him to get appraised by Adonis-kun anyway to see if he can figure anything out about him. See if he can figure out where he’s from beyond what the plaque said using like, the paint or whatever.”

Koga nods, eyes still on the road. “Makes sense.”

Kaoru looks out the window at the passing scenery of an empty Romanian side street. He thinks distantly about the city’s buzzing night life scene. Of the nocturnal population who are all laughing, dancing, drinking, and enjoying the present moment. He thinks of Monet and Camille.

“And then… I was thinking we should try and see if we can find a way to free him.”

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs