it’s been a while since i’ve been on this site, let alone write out my thoughts.
a lot has been happening not only in my physical life, but mentally & emotionally also. this year has honestly been one of the best years i have ever been able to experience.
at the end of 2017, i got out of an unhealthy relationship, which at the time i did not take well. i always knew i was in a toxic relationship, i just never did anything about it because i did not want to lose the person i was best friends with for years. however, getting out of that relationship was the greatest thing that could ever happen to me. it allowed me to branch out and meet new people, all while discovering who i truly am as an individual. i became more confident in who i am, both physically and mentally, and have learned how to put myself first. i have always known it is okay to be selfish when it comes to making yourself a priority, but i never truly did it until this year. the more i learned about myself and did things to make myself happy before anyone else, the more comfortable i was in living life and taking risks.
despite all the happiness i experienced/still experiencing this year, there was also a lot of defeat and trials i faced which ultimately affected my mental health. i am writing this post because i am currently not at my best, mentally. my depression has taken over more than i expected and i have begun to feel useless, worthless, and defeated, once again. it is a feeling i can never truly express to anyone nor is a feeling i can ever really describe myself, but i guess it’s just a feeling of emptiness. it’s not like depression hasn’t taken over my life before, but i guess this time it’s different because it has been so long that i just don’t know what to do this time around. i feel like i am trapped in a hole, falling, and cannot grasp onto anything to pull myself back up, nor do i have any desire to pull myself back up.
snowghoul
kianamaiart
ellievsbear
gummygunk
annaxmalina
germansingergirl
andulkaphoto
