aisha

21 | she/her 🏳️‍⚧️| g+ survivor | wielder of adhd | please follow me i need friends thanks

[rekursor]

about me :3

idk im guessing this would be the best way to get out there bc i desp need friends my i legit just talk to myself so uhh here i go

i love rambling so this blog is probably mostly just gonna be me rambling and shitposting (i'm very funny though don't worry) but i do have some hobbies that i rarely ever get around to

im gonna list major interests and hobbies but obv i have way more, i’m just gonna type ones that come to my mind right now so i don’t end up making this needlessly long

(also let me know if adding everything as tags was rude i'll take them off lol i just have no idea how to grow here without doing that [i'm too shy to follow others im sorry])

hobbies

i have ADHD so i don't really end up pursuing my interests nearly enough to be good at any (more importantly, my posts are 90% gonna be me rambling not posting anything useful lol)

writing

music production

drawing

game dev

web dev

interests

music

porter robinson (watching second sky 2022 nurture set as i type this LOL)

fall out boy

avril lavigne

space laces

virtual riot

happy orchestral music (osts mostly)

games

need for speed most wanted (2005) [and most nfs games in that era]

midnight club 3 dub edition remix

prince of persia

assassin's creed

doom

anime

steins;gate (fav anime babyyy)

initial d

kaguya sama

oregairu

durarara

kakushigoto

aesthetics i enjoy

Maximalism

dark academia

webcore

cottagecore (or whatever u kids call it smh)

other media

mcu

harry potter (not jk though fuck her + im trans so ggz)

spider-man in general

edits; 2023-02-07 - added maximalism to the aesthetics list, this is somethign i found out about recently and it's SO much just a word for somethings i'ved loved for ages

[sludgewizard666]

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

[catgirlforeskin]

casting these before getting out of bed like buff spells before a raid boss

[stitchedspider]

random

[alalasp]

doodle

[rekursor]

i stopped posting my art online but i've genuinely been feeling so proud of my art lately. there's a nagging voice that tells me that i only made it here after what like a decade of trying? when other people would be here in maybe a few months. but you know what FUCK YOUUUUU IM HERE BITCH

[rekursor]

been feeling sad lately and turns out going on tumblr and looking up the cindy moon hashtag is a fairly good source of joy

[which-star]

guess who wants you to read SILK 👍👍👍

[alalasp]

[violetpaiges]

Women in Comics Week 2 • Favourite women-led project

Cindy Moon in Silk (2022)

[mustasekittens]

get his ass cindy

[toyota-supra]

[rekursor]

shoutout to toyota-supra over here for being the ONE single person that made any posts about over rev in 2023 (around a dozen or more of what I'm assuming are just live updates from reading the manga.) big fan.

[rekursor]

finding my primary online social space... so many choices (neocities, tumblr, bluesky, mastodon... ugh idk what else)

with twitter getting worse and worse, i decided to make a bluesky account. bluesky is lovely, a great twitter alternative, actually. i feel so much less stressed out on bluesky than i do on twitter and even tumblr, the only issue being... i can't make friends there

i'm not sure which social media i'll move to eventually, maybe even mastadon?

i even worked on my neocities more, porting the entire website to astro (a framework that works similar to a static site generator; in baby words; a system that makes it easier to make static website, which is what neocities allows you to make) the idea is that it will make it easier to use it as a blog and scale it better in the longer term (based on my expereince with web dev on more scalable designs, esp when i made a note taking app in MERN)

i think the latter option is the most enticing, but i also want to make friends. not sure if the neocities route is good for that. much to think about.

[rekursor]

been obsessed with the interloper arg and i was like "huh i need more content on this... maybe i should check tumblr... maybe people are discussing it and forming new theories" and i check the tag and i'ts just people drawing cute fanart and shipping hte characters i love this website man

[tipsyizzy]

where do i join a math book club

[eiimblr]

I think that's just called math class

[rekursor]

that's like saying if you wanna learn writing go do a course on handwriting smh there's no joy n whimsy n love in math class !!!

[tipsyizzy]

yea i want like, the comradery of a book club and also im not in school anymore so kinda hard to just,, join a class

[rekursor]

if u find one lmk too 😔i suck at math but i'm interested in it and having math buddies would be cool as hell

[an1llusionist]

just form a study group 🤦🏽‍♂️

[rekursor]

woah should've thought of that... it's almost like the whole problem is that we can't find people to form a study group

[rekursor]

was on the harry potter wiki

[rekursor]

i often want to "fix myself", live life the fullest, move past all the sadness and bother i have. just be this happy little person that doesn't need anyone else to be happy

but some other part of me worries that if I do move past it all, i won't get to experience someone being there for me through these things. I'll just be someone who's always been happy, i won't get to experience the healing that I've so desperately wanted for most of my life

but then. what does it matter yknow? if I'm happy then good enough right?

i dunno i guess there's that kid in me who still wants to be loved and comforted. it's also not as easy as "just be happy" so that's part of it too LOL but sometimes I wonder if that's something i even want

[rekursor]

the desire to be happy vs the desire to be understood and found community before i do

i think i just need to get back into writing fiction. only way to let it out i think

[rekursor]

i often want to "fix myself", live life the fullest, move past all the sadness and bother i have. just be this happy little person that doesn't need anyone else to be happy

but some other part of me worries that if I do move past it all, i won't get to experience someone being there for me through these things. I'll just be someone who's always been happy, i won't get to experience the healing that I've so desperately wanted for most of my life

but then. what does it matter yknow? if I'm happy then good enough right?

i dunno i guess there's that kid in me who still wants to be loved and comforted. it's also not as easy as "just be happy" so that's part of it too LOL but sometimes I wonder if that's something i even want