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I’m Back!

Hey guys!!! Just wanted to let u all know that I took a break, but Im back now! If you want any relationship advice or just someone to talk to, I’m here, ready to listen and help you through whatever you need :)

#relationship advice #relationship issues #relationship #boyfriend #need a friend #advice #dating advice #love advice

brokensidewalkpoetry

1/? ⭐️Okay so, I really like this guy, and several people(his/my friends) claims that he likes me too, even before we really were a “thing”. We’ve gotten pretty close in the last months and has made out three (separate) times (last on June 23, so p recently)when hes slept at my place. I really wanna talk to him to clear things up but it never seems like the right time, even though I’m pretty sure he wants to talk too. i pretty much KNOW that he likes me but still, idk how to bring it up.

2/? ⭐️Also I’m kind of friends with/knows his sister, and she recently, 21 June, told me(kinda jokingly while tipsy, but still) that she thinks it’s weird. Earlier she told my best friend that too(while sober)and I don’t know what to do. His sis was kind of a wingman in the beginning and one of the persons who helped me get to know him and add him on Snap etc, but now she said that.

3/3⭐️Idk if she found out about us making out and that’s why she’s acting weird or if it’s just now hitting her that me n her brother could like, start dating fr. Like I understand why she would be uncomfortable but also now it’s kind of too late to “go back”. got any advice about taking to him (and her)?also just generally abt the situation? My friend thinks his sis just need time to get used to the idea, but idk if that’s just wishful thinking since they’re friends💕(sorry this is super long!) ---------------------

Hi, sorry about the late reply! I hope this wasn’t too time sensitive.

Basically, I think communication is key in this situation (although it might not be easy).

It seems like you should be the one to initiate the conversation with the guy. Make sure to start the conversation normally- dont say anything out of the ordinary or make the convo seem daunting. Maybe just lead with something simple, like “Lets talk.”

Make sure to fully explain your feelings for him. No matter what, don’t pretend like you don’t like him in fear of getting hurt. You want a relationship, and if he doesn’t feel the same way, he wasn’t worth your time to begin with.

Dealing with his sister is a little bit trickier. She is your friend, but also had something to do with starting your contact with her brother. Talking to her directly might help, so I suggest casually bringing up her brother in conversation. Let her do most of the talking, maybe just ask her what she thinks about it. Time will also help- maybe she will get over it and fully support you guys when she gets used to the idea.

~~~~~~~~ Mae

Me and a boy have been in a situtation where were together when were together, but not when we go back to our seperate colleges. we've been doing this for about 2 years now, and have gotten to the point where we both want to actually be together. I dont want long distance, im scared it will ruin everything. Hes going abroad soon too, and i dont want to hold him back while hes there. Do u think waiting until after college would be smart? i could marry this boy and dont wanna rush things n ruin it

I think this depends on your mindset on long distance. From what you’ve said, you don’t want to be in a long distance relationship. However, the rest of what you said indicates that you have really deep feelings for this guy.

Because he is going abroad, you should try to spend as much time as possible with him while he is here. This can serve a couple purposes. You can make sure that you have strong feelings for him, and also ask him what he thinks about the situation. If he is not into long distance either or feels like a relationship would hold him back, as you mentioned, then you most likely wont be able to start a relationship with him before he leaves.

But if he likes you as much as you like him, I think that a relationship would be a good idea. Long distance is really hard, but nothing compares to being with someone that you truly have feelings for. It’s going to be really complicated at times, but the payoff would be worth it.

Waiting to until after college is a good idea, but some things could go wrong. One of you could find someone else you have feelings for, leaving someone waiting for no real reason. You could lose feelings without ever having a relationship, or maybe both of you wait, start a relationship, then realize that it wasn’t worth it. But of course, it could turn out well. This option is one that you should talk over with him, because it requires both of you being on the same page.

I hope everything turns out well for you!

~~~~~~~ Mae

Okay so I’ve been dating a friend of mine for a month, but we’ve known each other for around four years and have been good friends for at least two of those years.... but is it too soon to say I love you after a month of dating? Even tho we’ve known each other for years? I’ve not really said it because I’m scared to but he’s told me twice now that he loves me. I haven’t spoke it aloud but I’ve texted him that I love him. I just. Are we moving too fast...?

I think it depends on the people in the relationship rather than what outside people think. You’ve known each other for a long time before dating, and if both of you are comfortable saying ‘I love you” to each other, go for it.

Saying “I love you” is different to different people. Some people are okay with saying it and don’t think about it too much. For others it’s a huge milestone. It seems like the latter applies to you, which is totally fine. This means a lot to you, and you should only say it back if you truly mean it and feel it to be true.

~~~~~~~ Mae

sorry, i’ve gotten super behind on asks!!!!! i have ilke 60+ in my inbox right now, so i am going to work hard on them today :) thank’s for using my blog for advice!

princes-heels-deactivated201912

always remember that love will always come back to u. in a different form, different person, different hobby, different touch. but in any way, love will always come back.

(1/2) so i'm a trans man, and bisexual. My boyfriend is straight and homophobic. I've always knew that this was going to eat away at me but I stayed with him anyways. I always felt like me being trans, along with also being mentally ill would bear a burden upon him. I also have always accepted it as fact that he's cheating on me, especially since the second time we got together (now) was after him talking to me in a way that's MUCH more than just friends while he was dating someone else. -meow-

(2/3) I always figured that if he would do that to her, what would make me any different? I just always repressed that thought because it hurt to think about, but sometimes he'd send me scs from convos he had with other people, one of which was "so, I'll set the roles as me being the king, and you being the queen" (about discord) With the same girl in question, he'd talk to me about his desire to fuck her, along with other people, and it'd just make me super uncomfortable, and hurt me -meow-

(3/4) And, on the note of me being trans. I've always felt more comfortable being feminine and even flaunting my body's features around him, but now I feel like I'm doing it out making him comfortable. I feel unsafe to talk about my dysphoria around him, due to him being homophobic, and whenever I refer to myself in a masculine sense (ex. "father") he'd "correct" it to (ex."mom"). What really concerned me is "I don't want our son being a gay retard". -meow-

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Wow... in all honesty, it doesn’t seem like you guys are a good fit.

The first thing you should do is think about why you are with him / want to be with him. Is it because he’s cute? Does he really understand you deep down? Does he care about you in a way that makes it seem like you’re the only person in the whole world that he cares about? Is he accepting of who you are?

From what I’ve read, it seems like most of the answers to these questions are negative. You said you feel unsafe around him, he’s blatantly homophobic, and he also has cleated on people in the past. To be perfectly honest, he sounds like a complete a**hole. There are obviously redeeming qualities that you see that you haven’t explained to me, but I don’t think pursuing a relationship with this guy is going to work.

If you want to talk more in depth with me about this, please don’t be afraid to message me. I think there was another part to your question that I did not receive, so if that was important, please let me know!

me and my boyfriend have been dating for close to 2 years now and he means so much to me and i don't want to lose him but we had a big fight a few months ago (our first real fight) and neither of us handled it well and there were a lot of hurt feelings and we tried to move on from it but he can't seem to get past it. now he lives 4 states away and i won't be able to see him for a few months minimum. we keep fighting over tiny petty things and it's ruining our relationship. what should i do?

This type of relationship is hard, especially because it’s long distance now. The main thing you can do is be the bigger person.

Tell him exactly how you feel. Honestly, I would just say it outright : “I really care about you a lot and I don’t want to lose you. Fighting these past few months has been really hard, and I hate it. I don’t want to keep arguing about the little things all the time. I want things between us to be normal, and I don’t want anything to come between us again.” or something to that effect.

In long distance relationships, the key is to be very direct. Say your feelings honestly and bluntly, don’t try to be coy or evasive, because that can come off in a bad way when distance is a factor. Be true to your feelings for him, and everything should work itself out.

~~~~~~ Mae

so I just found out that I did something really bad. a couple nights ago I was at a party and I was with my girlfriend. I asked her to kiss me and she said she didn't want to because there were a lot of people and she didn't like that. later, I remember kissing, like in general. I don't remember initiating it and sort of assumed she did because she was kissing me and I was kissing her. but she didn't initiate it I did. Ive already apologized a lot but I don't know what else to do.

If she kissed you back: I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You were at a party, things are always kind of messy in that sort of atmosphere. Maybe she changed her mind, maybe things will work themselves out.

If she is angry about the kiss: It is good that you apologized already. It shows that you care about it. I would try to talk to her, explain that you don’t remember what happened. Promise her that it won’t happen and KEEP THAT PROMISE!!!! She needs to have trust in you that you won’t do things to pressure her into physical contact if she doesn’t want to. Proving that to her is important, because she will be more comfortable and trusting in the future.

Give her some space, let her cool off, and continue to apologize until she gets the message that you’re really REALLY sorry about things. And don’t let it happen again !

~~~~~~ Mae

So I've been staying with my dad for a while to help him take care of my stepmom. Consequently I've been spending a lot of time with one of the guys he works with. He's about the same age as my dad (50). I'm 23. I'd never go for a guy that much older, but he's really sweet, and he makes me laugh a lot. We went out for drinks the other night and ended up hooking up. It was amazing but I feel really conflicted. I like him a lot, but I don't see us being able to have a relationship bc the age gap.

I think you need to evaluate what you feel comfortable with when considering an age gap of 27 years.

Would you be comfortable telling your dad about your relationship with his friend? Or your family? Or his?

Would you be comfortable with the public scrutiny you guys might face as a couple?

Are there other concerns you have with this relationship outside of the age gap?

Honestly, I think you need to evaluate how much you can tolerate. It seems like you like him, but a relationship would certainly be difficult. If you think your feelings for him are strong enough to overcome challenges in this relationship, you should pursue it. If you don’t think so, you could treat this as a hookup (one time or more, if thats what you want) and stipulate that things be kept secret and casual.

I hope things work out for you, and you find yourself in a situation that works for both of you !

~~~~~~ Mae

I have a crush on this guy in my class. He's super smart and mature but I don't have the guts to talk to him. I wish I was older and actually had a chance of a serious relationship with him. I don't even neccessarily need a romantic relationship, I just want to be his friend.

BE YOURSELF. In situations like this, it’s easy to lose sight of who you really are in order to impress someone else who seems older and cooler.

To me, it seems like you don’t really know him, and that’s fine. A relationship could start, but it seems like you need to get to know him better in order to make decisions about if you want to be friends/more.

Maybe the first thing to do is introduce yourself if you’re feeling confident, or just compliment him “hey, i like your shoes” to get a conversation started. If he doesn’t seem to be matching your energy in a conversation, he might not care to be friends. Be patient but not overly persistent, and you have a good shot at starting to get to know him!

Remember, age and maturity isn’t everything. Find someone who cares about you and sees you for who you really are. Then, everything else will come easily!

~~~~~~ Mae

heart-of-a-wildflower-deactivat

Listen to me

You are allowed to eat.

You are allowed to drink.

You are allowed to rest.

You are allowed to take a break.

You are allowed to treat yourself.

You are allowed to say no.

You are allowed to put yourself first

(Can I start this by saying how good your blog is??? Okay, cool) I'm in a pickle. I really like this girl and I think she likes me, so how do I ask her?????? I'm a hopeless bisexual and clueless in love???? Thanks in advance!!!

Wowwwww... that honestly so nice of you! I made this blog because I myself couldn’t find places to ask for advice about my own relationships, and I didn’t want anyone else to feel the same way!!! Glad you found it.

To answer your question: I think you should do what feels comfortable to you. She seems like someone who you met as a friend, which makes things a little trickier. Honestly, I don’t want to mess up your friendship so I suggest moving slowly, aka not confessing your feelings right off the bat.

First order of business is to address her/your sexualities. If she has already mentioned that she is bisexual/lesbian- great. You can always ask outright, or tell her your own sexuality if you’re comfortable with that. It would be even more likely that she does in fact like you if you told her that you’re bi, but she could still be acting like this as a friend. It seems like you have noticed some signs that she likes you - trust your gut! But if she treats her friends like this, maybe she only sees you as a friend.

If you have already addressed your sexualities and now are just wondering if she likes you - be confident!! It seems like you like her, so just be yourself whenever you guys are together. Hang out together, invite her out to get food or whatever you like to do. If she feels the same way, I’m sure things will find a way of working themselves out. And if not, you guys seem pretty close! Maybe you can still be friends.

I really hoped this helped. As someone else who is hopeless in love - good luck! Let me know if you need anything :)

~~~~~ Mae

Hi, so there is a cute couple at my school and one day they broke up, like the entire school was talking abt it, and the guy started flirting with me and asked me to be his gf, and i said yes since i had crush on him.. we also had sex the first day of relationship and also most days during the week, it felt awesome, so much sparks... but after couple weeks he msgd me that they never broke up, they just had a fight and didnt talk to each other and in that time also she had to travel for few weeks

cont: and he just needed to fullfill his needs, he also said that he had great time and does not regret it.. i felt awful, like a sh*t and got depressed how could i be so stupid .. now i dont know what to do, also maybe to tell her everything?

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Wow, this was a total d*ck move on his part. This is CHEATING, even though they were fighting. He was using you for himself, and yeah, thats terrible. i understand that you feel really sad- thats totally normal. I’ve been there, I think most of us have. It’s so hard to be in this kind of situation.

You probably want some sort of revenge for what happened, and it seems like you do based off of your question about telling the girlfriend about what happened. If you tell her, there’s a big chance that things could backfire for you. The guy will definitely get mad at you because it might ruin his relationship, the girl might get mad at you and blame you for ‘seducing’ her boyfriend or some other excuse that takes the blame away from him, and other people at your school might find out and start rumors about you. I don’t want to happen. However, If you’re willing to deal with the consequences, I think you should do it. Stand up for yourself, tell the girlfriend your side of the story, and let her make her own decisions.

Another way to approach this is to talk to her boyfriend. Maybe try to talk some sense into him - tell him to tell her himself or else you will, that sort of deal. Hopefully he will listen to you, but I honestly doubt that would end well.

This is a really hard situation, and you need to know that no matter what, it is not your fault. He lied to you, used you, then told you the truth when things were over. You did nothing wrong, so you shouldn’t feel bad about yourself or any of your actions. I can help talk to you about things if you want- dealing with this alone is hard. I hope everything works out for you.

~~~~ Mae

theselfcarelifestyle

You can always start again. Clean out your social media. Create a new account for your new taste in music. Study or work in a new city. Start socialising with new people. Choose a new signature scent and style and purge the outdated parts of yourself. If you don’t like where you’re at, but you don’t know what to do about it - try starting again.

1/3. Hi :) I need an objective opinion on if I should confess feelings for a guy. I met him on a dating app and we have so much in common and hang out and talk often. Early on when we first met up he realized he was not ready to date because of bad past relationships and he wanted to still be friends and he actively asked to do things and kept in contact. He always wanted to pay for me when we go somewhere. We hang out one on one a lot. I’ve met his friends, he has met some of mine.

cont: I’m never unhappy around him and I think he truly is amazing. He makes my heart smile. It’s now been about 6 months that we’ve known each other and about 5 months since he said he wasn’t ready to date yet. I’ve tried to date other people (didn’t tell him about other dates) but in the end he has always been there and someone I’ve been happy around. I feel like I want to say “Hey I’m still interested in you and sometimes it’s hard to not want something more than friendship, but at the same time I respect and value you and what you want so I don’t want to ruin anything, but I had to say something.” I’m willing to be his friend still, but would need time to make sure I can be a good friend to him and be happy myself. What should I do?

-----------------------------

Wow. In all honestly, I think that what you had written out there (the potential text message) was really beautiful and mature. I think you should go with that!

Going from friends to something more is always super difficult. There’s always a little bit of uncertainty, and it’s scary to think that you could lose a friend in the process. It seems like you really like being friends with this guy, so I want you to just be aware that a failed relationship attempt might mess things up.

However, it is also evident that you like him, and having an unrequited crush on a friend is really hard too. I think you need to speak up, especially because of how strongly you feel for him, as a friend and as a potential boyfriend. If he only sees you as a friend, you seem like someone who would be able to get over that and remain friends.

I hope you talk to him, truly. Lots of the things you described about him seem really promising, and he just might be into you too! Make sure to tell him that you don’t want to pressure him into anything, say that you will wait as long as he needs to be able to date. If all goes well, it seems like you guys will be in a great relationship!

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