someone: coca cola can remove rust from metal imagine what its doing to your body
me: pff getting rid of the rust idiot
THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS
hmm… i’ve been drinking soda and my body’s rust free… not sure where youre getting your facts from…

if i look back, i am lost

Kiana Khansmith
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

⁂
Keni
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

izzy's playlists!

#extradirty
styofa doing anything
NASA
RMH
Claire Keane
Sade Olutola

Kaledo Art
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Xuebing Du

ellievsbear
we're not kids anymore.
i don't do bad sauce passes

Origami Around

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@releasethebara
someone: coca cola can remove rust from metal imagine what its doing to your body
me: pff getting rid of the rust idiot
THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS
hmm… i’ve been drinking soda and my body’s rust free… not sure where youre getting your facts from…
*walks up to the mcdonald counter*
yeah i’ll have a fuckin uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
imagine explaining this to the person who made that statue
KFC
Kentucky Fucky Chucky
as a kentuckian may i just say fuck you
you may
The 2nd Amendment is no longer the right to bear arms. The 2nd Amendment has become the right to take lives. The 2nd Amendment is no longer aiding citizens. The 2nd Amendment is now abetting murderers.
When the laws don’t work, the laws must change.
Well, clearly you failed 9th grade Social Studies.
You know… I honestly don’t remember how did in 9th grade Social Studies?
I did okay majoring in Political Science and American Government in undergrad though. I graduated summa cum laude so I figure I must have learned something?
Law school also went alright I guess? I did somehow manage to get an article about the constitutionality and modification of excessive force laws through out the 50 states placed in a national publication. And I also managed to pass the Bar Exam.
But yeah it’s totally possible I failed 9th grade social studies tbh. I was a little shit when I was 15 and gave no fucks.
Hey, 911, I just witnessed a murder.
“But comedy has to be edgy and offensive or else it’s terrible!”
Fun Christmas idea:
Hang mistletoe but instead of kissing you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it
Mistlefoe™
SOMEONE’S HALLS ARE GETTING
DECKED
cannot stop thinking about koko the gorilla saying “comfortable hole. bye” when someone asked her where gorillas go when they die. it just keeps repeating in my head over and over
me: thinks about u
my heart: :o 💖✨💫💕💘⭐️💝🌟💚🌟💛✨💫💕💕💫💘⭐️🌟💗💝💓💛💕💖
My Bretheren SLUDGE and MUD are Out-in-the-Field…
Getting
SLOPPY
When you die, you appear in a cinema with a number of other people who look like you. You find out that they are your previous reincarnations, and soon you all begin watching your next life on the big screen.
too much
My previous incarnations throwing popcorn at the screen and booing: this bitch is fucking stupid!!!
I LOVE THAT THEY KEEP PICKING UP MORE OMG
hey someone ask me what my least favorite piece of home decor in my room is
it’s my old ass piss flavored lava lamp
first of all
Dave is a fucking guest
PLEASE tell me if I’m fuckin up. I’d much rather be told i’m wrong up front than silently filed away under “P for Problematic”
ive felt better ever since i stopped revelling in self depreciating or “depression memes for sad teens” humor its an okay coping mechanism and all but you really honestly gotta get out of it at some point and once you do youll see how degrading and self recovery impeding it is