reliving trauma

I didn't experience trauma once I experience it often and consistently why? // andrew // 19 // they/he/xe

[goawfma]

some people are forced to stay in abusive relationships cause of this 

[rob-walks-deactivated20210614]

whats the hardest thing you ever had to admit to yourself?

[tearsinthetrap]

sometimes what u want isn’t for u

[buttonpoetry]

“I have tried on all of your clothes, and still nothing fits but the blood.”

— Hanif Abdurraqib, “The Ghost of Marvin Gaye Plays the Dozens with the Pop Charts”

[traumathoughts]

[rose-burn]

best parting gift // 2.23.17

[traumathoughts]

[boys--love--boys]

support hypersexual MLM

you are not gross or perpetuating stereotypes for being hypersexual

hypersexuality is a valid response to trauma and you are not wrong or bad for being hypersexual

[wiltedflowrchild]

[tacituskilgores]

here’s the thing about manipulative people: they will continue to manipulate you long after you’ve cut them from your life.

they’ll manipulate your words, your actions, your personality when they retell the story to themselves, to mutual friends, to people you don’t even know. and they will retell it, because in the retelling, they get to be the victim, and they can use it to manipulate even more people into feeding the need for attention and sympathy that rules their lives.

it can be maddening after the fact, to think about the control they still hold over the narrative, but you have to remember that you are not that narrative. they manipulate what you left in your wake because they no longer have you to manipulate. and you’ve come out the winner either way, because all they have to cling to is that narrative and its details, but you? you’re free of them for good and you are so much better for it.

[dreamlogic]

types of dissociation:

existing but a little to the left

am i crossing my eyes or is everything just blurry?

clipped right thru the floorboards

what the fuck is a “body”

i have too many bodies at once and they’re trying to start a fight club. how many arms are humans supposed to have again?

floam

sounds fake but ok

pick two: harsh noise, dial up tone, cantina theme [10 hour version]

360 no scope

the atmosphere is lighting me on fire very, very slowly.

someone: “wow! you handled that stressful situation so well! so cool and competent!” me, unaware that anything happened: “i what now”

*forgets to breathe for 5 hours*

feel free 2 add ur own

[hauntingsystem]

> the existential equivalent of radiohead’s How To Disappear Completely > me @ me: new phone who dis

[puppysandrainbowsindeathtraps]

-zoning out, still hearing everything but 10x louder -realising this is happening and not being able to tune back in

[victoirepisa]

-becomes the living embodiment of whatever song is stuck in my head

[ginocchie]

-people talking to you and all of a sudden they start deforming and sounding like fgaksgalsgd agdjfhksjs agkdjgks elalfhelevan

[opiatesandspeed]

[radsturbate]

[strawberry-trellis-deactivated2]

[transboyurameshi-blog]

*banging pots and pans together* mutual abuse is a falsehood created to make survivors of abuse feel bad for fighting back against their abusers and genuinely hating their abusers and enjoying them suffering *banging pots and pans louder* MUTUAL ABUSE AS A CONCEPT DOES NOTHING BUT TRIGGER A SURVIVORS CONSTANT FEAR OF INVALIDATION AND VALIDATES THEIR ABUSERS ACTIONS

[flyingpurplepizzaeater]

that executive dysfunction feel when

*does a thing*

HOLY SHIT I DID A THING. HOLY FUCKINGSHIT

[deardiariesarestupid]

A reminder that the “Borderline” in Borderline Personality Disorder does not mean someone barely has a personality disorder or that they’re almost neurotypical. The name “Borderline Personality Disorder” comes from the fact that the initial doctor to study it said suffers live on the border between psychosis (disconnection from reality) and neurosis (having anxiety, depression, or obsessive tendencies, etc that don’t quite cause disconnection from reality). 

[actuallyclintbarton]

A follow up reminder that people with BPD are not “manipulative because they just want to be the center of attention”, they are often in a lot of distress that they don’t have the skills to handle and are often desperate to prove they’re worthwhile or prevent a potential abandonment.

Additional reminder there are some professionals who think it should be recategorized from a personality disorder to a type of PTSD, because tbh it is really really similar on a lot of levels.

[relivingtrauma]

so lately my nightmares have been about the abuse (as usual) but they're in front of people I care about and its in hope that they see it and stop it or believe it or something and its overwhelming to wake up from