Remix th soul

I dance, I sing, I eat. All day, errday. The following text will not be seen after you upload your website, please keep it in order to retain your counter functionality Trackers Counter Help

[remixthsoul]

Have you ever had people you thought were your friends treat you like you don't exist?

How transparent; true colors show through. 

[remixthsoul]

Hungry.

My tummy is rumbling for something fulfilling in life. I don't mean to say that I'm unsatisfied with what I am blessed to have: my education, my family, my friends, a warm home, my good health. Rather, I'm hungry for what makes me WANT to live and not NEED to live. 

Once upon a time, at a time not too long ago, I successfully convinced myself that I was happy. Little did I know, I was secretly growing hungrier and hungrier, less and less content with who I was. Many things led me to now believe that I am discontent with who I am, what I do, and the way I think, not in the "I hate myself" kind of way, but hopefully more of the "how do I stop being what I don't want to be and become the person I do want to be". That then led me to believe that I am not good at doing anything, let alone at being me.

I never stuck with anything much because I've never reached a level where I saw myself being good at anything. I'm not even decent. Mediocre at best. Swimming, piano, violin, guitar, lion dance, popping, baking, singing, sketching, tae kwon do, photography. I dabbled in all these things that I enjoy(ed) but I never really saw achievement. I never had positive reinforcement or encouragement. I never found fulfillment in these things. I have yet to find what satisfies that hunger so that I can pursue it and excel. 

I need to find two things. 1) the thing that makes me want to try harder, to practice, to excel in, and to pour my passion and effort into, and 2) the drive that will allow me to be a better person, my ideal me, every single day for the rest of my life.

[remixthsoul]

Photos.

I forget a lot of things, hence I constantly desire to take photos or else risk losing my memories to time. Now and then, I live vicariously through old photos for a few moments, because they tend to be taken during special and joyous occasions. They can tell me stories that want to be remembered without the use of words.

Nowadays, it seems as if my life flies by unceremoniously without images and words to remember them by. I am drowning in an opaque sea of mundaneness.

Pictures help me to remember things, while the lack of them helps me to forget them just as easily.

[remixthsoul]

Multiple choice

It is better to...

A) Thirst for more than is given in life. Be zealous, be bold, seek more. 

B) Accept and appreciate what is given in life. Be thankful, be humble, seek less. 

C) All of the above. If so, how?

[remixthsoul]

I had hoped that during this summer, I'd have much coveted time on my hands to level up in popping. So far, I haven't had too much opportunity outside of session to practice on my own, which has become somewhat of an undesirable activity. The positivism I once had for dance has unfortunately declined due to a few things. This will lead me to some future blog manifestation as to the importance of mentality.

I'm changing things. 

[remixthsoul]

I've never seen popping choreo quite at this caliber before, and I must say, it's quite amazing. 

[kitaeremu]

[remixthsoul]

Celebrating 20,000 notes! That's my puppy, Eevee!

[remixthsoul]

Spontaneity

Started on May 26, 2012. 

I've got a little down time a la the wonderful no-classes-on-MWF spring schedule I have. I've just finished a round of midterms, and all I want to do is be exemplary vegetable on the couch. Well. I'm here watering the dry patch my dearth of blogging has left behind. Little life updates will help future reminiscing old lady me remember what it was past me was up to anyways.

Of all of the irresistible things that existed on this planet in the space and time that was last Saturday, the only thing on my mind was a puppy. Fluffy, snuggly, the perfect study break. On a dual whim and with thanks to craigslist, EK and I were on our way to see a baby Corgi within the hour. Within the first five minutes, cuteness had befallen us and we were under her spell. The 4 week old could only be described as every girls' (and guys', for that matter) puppy dream come true. She was ours within the half hour. Spontaneous? Most definitely so. What followed was mostly excitement and disbelief. We bought a sock monkey and some food for her while everyone ooh'ed and ahh'd at her. We brought her to the performance with us in Sacramento too. She fit in a shopping basket, that sleepy little munchkin.

Fast forward to Monday, May the 21st. How in the world I ended up going to the Korean Wave concert despite having a midterm the next day, I don't know. But I did. And it was certainly a first experience not to forget.

Double fast forward to June 6. Somehow, more concert tickets were procured as if from thin air. I went to the LMFAO concert, with Far East Movement and some other peeps I was too late to see. First time going backstage. I got to meet some of Quest Crew and see the dancers prepping. It reminds me of what I used to do, except to a lesser scale and sans alcohol. Again, it had to be the day before a midterm, but all went well both times. 

You can tell I am currently too lazy to finish off this post well. When my brain cells decide to function optimally again, I'll write something more worth reading. This'll do for now. 

Finished June 13, 2012. 

[remixthsoul]

Academy of Villains at Body Rock 2012. 

A reminder to strive for more, in choreo terms. I see irony all over this piece, and I'm sure Popping Club does too. 

[remixthsoul]

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"Wildfire" feat Yugimi Nakano. 

Been listening to a bit of interesting stuff from SBTRKT after watching choreo to this song. Electronic, pseudo house, chill music. 

[remixthsoul]

Then & now, now and then.

This blog was originally established as a place for me to document my progress in dance, but clear as day, it has inevitably failed to serve its purpose due to my overwhelming ability to sidestep and forget things. I'll try my best to do a recap here.

It's been about 9 months since I jumped into popping, and everyday I continue to learn more and more. I still remember the warm September nights I came to the parking structure to learn how to hit and how to do the wave and how to be incredibly intimidated in my first gigantic cypher. 

DDR provided a gigantic deferment in freestyle practice, but now that it's been over for a while now, sessions have resumed. Attendance isn't as high as it used to be, but it's still decent for the dedicated that show up. I'm certain my style has changed, but I don't know how exactly. I don't take videos of myself, and even if I did, there's no guarantee I'd watch it. My foundation has gotten a little better, but I am still at a loss for concepts. This summer, I plan to do a lot more dancing. 

I never want to stop learning. Granted, I could be more rigorous or active in my training, it doesn't mean that I'll slow to a stop. I want to learn more popping, on top of other styles as well. Sometimes I can't decide if I want a little bit of everything, or a lot of one thing. I figure I might as well take a stab at whatever inspires me and to see where it takes me. All I know is that I don't want to stop dancing. 

[remixthsoul]

DDR 2012

Months worth of practice, sweat, injury, tears, bruises, and nights conversing over DC food and Picnic Day and DDR have come and passed. What a journey it's been. This post is late, but I'd rather have it late than not at all. Anyways, let's continue. 

SC and I had a little recollection of happenings since last year.  Oh, I hope we make auditions. Mafia would be awesome. -We make Mafia- Choreo is hard, but we have so much time to practice; we'll get it by then! -DDR is in a month- Gosh, I can't believe DDR is so close! Nervous! -DDR is tomorrow- Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh -We're backstage and up next-

The stage wasn't ready for us; the crowd wasn't ready for us. That's all I can say. 

I've been dealing with some back pain since the beginning of this year, but it wasn't until I injured my wrist that I started feeling down on myself for not being able to perform at my best. I didn't want to let the group down because of my weakness, so I resolved that I'd give it my 100% for the show. So did everyone else. Popping club performed admirably and I can't help but be proud of everyone 

Apparently some talk had been going around about Popping Club. Although I'm in no administrative or leadership position, I feel disappointment, frustration, wronging, and protective of Popping club with the outcome of DDR and the ramifications of that night's happenings. We'll be the bigger people. We'll come out stronger and harder next year and no one will know what hit them. They just couldn't handle us this year. Hopefully I'll be around to see us get 2013, for sure.

[remixthsoul]

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"Sweet Melody" by Oriental Funk Stew, featuring Honey-J. His electronic house style reminds me a lot of some of my favorite Clazziquai work. 

[remixthsoul]

End of Winter Quarter 2012

Had a BBQ picnic with VO, FN, EK, KC, and AT one weekend despite the unpromising weather. Too much lighter fluid and faulty charcoal was wasted this day. -sigh- A large, chubby, albeit friendly stranger dog approached us and assertively chomped at our sausages, ending the picnic. Misplaced my phone so no one could contact me and of course my parents thought I died or something or other.

I forget when it was that I had to pull an all nighter to write my term paper for NPB, so I'll just quickly mention that here and leave it at that. I got 100% on that paper too; one of my proudest and finest moments of academic procrastination and pull-good-crap-out-my-ass-ery. The combination of hot Calm decaf tea and cold NOS is a winner, for sure. 

Made and ate a lot of Vietnamese food. Goi cuon, thit kho, bun bo Hue, pho, and the like. 

A week or two prior to finals, I went home to attend my grandmother's funeral. I hate funerals. I hate dying people; it makes me think of how weak people are. I hate crying people; it makes me think of how weak I am. The combination of the two ... ugh. I didn't cry as hard as at my granpa's funeral about ten years ago. I stuck with my cousins and we tried to make the best of it. They're finally together again. I can't imagine having to live ten years without my significant other, knowing that I can't see them until I've passed. At least my grandparents have found that peace now. My family conflict has resolved itself a little, almost thanks to my grandmother's passing. 

All I did during break was eat. Well, judging off of my Instagram photos anyways; they're my only record of what I've been up to. La Vic's always reminds me of Fridays after high school, wandering around downtown, drinking Quickly's and chilling. Tried Honeyberry with EK for the first time. I love waffles (a la ice cream dessert waffle) and I tried the magnificent coffee scented, ever so fluffy and delicious roti bun. I could eat those for days. Actually, I did eat those for days. Hrm. Ate out with BT and EN another day at Choi's Kitchen, conveniently located across the street from Honeyberry and where EK went to eat with his dad around the same time. 

The last portion of break consisted of a short trip to San Francisco. Chilled at sister's apartment until EK came by and we went to Akiba for fruit box. I want to make one of my own! So delicious. The morning after, EK and I went to Cafe Bunn Mi which sells banh mi and bun (noodle soups). Expensive for a sandwich, but delicious nonetheless. Went exploring around the Asian neighborhood buying trinkets and banh bao (steamed buns). Then drove to Haight street where all the smoke shops, clothes shops, and random other shops are. It was a nice little adventure; nothing crazy but a nice chill day. Drove back to Davis in the evening to conclude the trip and ready for next quarter. 

[remixthsoul]

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"Only Wanna Give It To You" covered by Jenny Suk & Adrian Per. 

Can't let this go what can I say? I just don't know My love ain't no trip for the weekend Here to stay for all of the seasons You're the weakness that I can't control

[remixthsoul]

0309 / 365

Long long long overdue. Umm, a better, cumulative review of events since last quarter will follow. 

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An extremely eventful day that warrants its own post. Things I'd been waiting for all week, and things I didn't expect or want. The weather was beautiful though.

Woke up at 530, studied until 730, took a nap until 8, got ready for test and took my bis midterm; not so bad! Jetted home after to go with EK to Sac for Momo's Meat Market. The dude working there was super chill, and knew an awful lot about meat. Shared the 4-way with tri tip, ribs, hot links, and the juiciest chicken thighs I've had in my life. Next time, I'd like a hot BBQ chicken sandwich, yummm.

Went to visit granma in Citrus Heights after. Mom and aunt were there, but left shortly. KN and MN came and we talked about  childhood with granma and grampa, their old house in their old neighborhood with the train in the backyard, celebrating Tet and accidentally burning a lantern in their kitchen, eating granpa's wafers, sitting in granma's remote sofa/recliner/chair, watching Rugrats in their living room. I was worried granma wouldn't make it before I could visit her, and I was afraid she'd leave before I could. I was relieved but restless I made this visit. Granma slept the whole time and looked so peaceful, but so sad at the same time. I couldn't look at her or stay for too long. I was never good with ill or elderly people. Why do I want to be a doctor again? 

Left for Arden Fair mall to get stuff for dormal. I don't think I've ever done so much walking back and forth between the same stores for a single outfit before, and not even an outfit for myself to boot! Shirt, then lucky red bowtie, belt, and pants after a bit of convincing by that swagaliciously suited up sir in the watch section. All I needed was a pair of red earrings to match, ahah. That and red nail polish, later bought at Target. Got into an extremely minor car accident/bumper tap on the way home, but thank goodness it was nothing serious. Got home, readied, took pictures, then off to dormal! My first and perhaps last of my college lifetime. At least I got to say I went once.

Reminded me of prom a little bit, except the dance floor was much larger and there was much more food. The pro about arriving early to these things is that there is still plenty of food and drinks to choose from/consume, and the floors are not yet sticky in the case that you wore heels and had to take them off for decreased foot pain and enhanced danceability. Same nasty dancing at the center, same awkward dancing at the periphery. There was a reliable cipher with Popping Club the entire time of course; poppers will be poppers. 

Some short time into dormal, I got the unexpected phone call. I don't know if the news hit me at all. I didn't want to talk about it then either. I tried to shake it off the rest of the night. I'm never good or coherent with the emotional stuff, anyways. I'll miss you granma; say hi to granpa for me? 

The rest of dormal was quite fun and I enjoyed it thoroughly; the rest 'twas a good night. 

Fri//0392012

[remixthsoul]

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"Bad Boy" by Big Bang. 

This song has really grown on me the past few days. Big Bang's new stuff sounds nothing like their old work, which I was a super fan of. New isn't bad, though. 

Yes, I'm procrastinating on studying. No, I haven't had time to keep track of things to update with a massive 365 post. Cellular biology calls to me. Laters!