How to traumatize your alien crab friend in his first visit to your home planet (yes they're on earth)

shark vs the universe
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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if i look back, i am lost
Cosimo Galluzzi
The Stonewall Inn
Phantogram Three

izzy's playlists!
Fai_Ryy
almost home
EXPECTATIONS
Show & Tell
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Jimmy Eat World
macklin celebrini has autism
$LAYYYTER

bliss lane

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@remoulades-closet
How to traumatize your alien crab friend in his first visit to your home planet (yes they're on earth)
Iâve gotten hooked on Dungeon Crawler Carl
Yeah, yeah, Cassandra Clare got her start writing fanfic, old news.
Rebecca Thorne wrote She-Ra fanfic before writing Tomes & Tea.
Matt Dinniman wrote GI Joe and Transformers crossover fanfic before writing Dungeon Crawler Carl.
Pierce Brown wrote Greek Mythology fanfic before writing Red Rising.
Andy Weir wrote Ready Player One fanfic that later got canonized by Ernest Cline before writing The Martian.
Fanfic has never been, and will never be inferior to published works, and writing one does not discredit or devalue the quality of your work when writing another.
mordecai with donut and carl is such an embodiment of that one post that's like "is that my..? fuuuuck that's my circus. and are those? dammit, those are my monkeys."
Reddit liked this one, so reposting this meme redraw here. Plus a blank template for all your own Quasar fantasies
reblog this to place a small, rotund ceramic animal in the palm of the person you reblogged it from
âGhosts are realâ I can see how you could believe that
âGhosts arenât realâ itâs very fair and rational that you believe that
âGhosts arenât real anymoreâ Iâm about to hear a poem or very sad story
âGhosts arenât real yetâ the fuck are you going to do
This was genuinely what it was like growing up in New Agey circles btw, my mum's friends would come round like "So I went out to the woods this weekend and fasted and meditated and I had a vision of the Sacred Stag and all my guardian angels and I asked them how to find love and they said that I need to focus on my own healing first and stop repeating cycles of the past" and then the very next week it'd be like "So I'm back with James again" girl..... the Sacred Stag could not have been more clear....
The rare two-punchline EWC comic (because both made me laugh)
Eridian Welcoming Committee courtesy of @justcakethanks
when an artist draws fem versions of male characters but makes them skinnier smaller and less muscular................im not saying this is illegal but when their heart will be put on a scale it ain't gonna be lighter than a feather
trying to draw this au again
I was supposed to give a speech to over a thousand people today at a labor rally, but the rally was planned mostly around white union organizers who have not been to ICE recently or maybe ever. I say this because they planned this as follows: a Rally, with a march to ICE, followed by a second half of a Rally, the second half of which was to include my speech, which seemingly was the only speech to include a Salvadoran migrant speaker.
I was not originally invited to speak, but heard last minute that someone else had fallen ill and was giving up their slot, and begged white organizers through the grape vine to let me speak as a Salvadoran migrant and union steward who came to the US at age 7.
I have long been soured of going to so many rallies and felt alienated that they were allegedly for or about my people, but that no one had thought people /like/ me exist - we are still here! There are migrants in your work spaces and neighborhoods and organizations, we have stories and labor songs and speeches to share, we are marxists and labor organizers and have reasons to speak out too.
But seldom if ever do you hear our music or faces or voices near the banners. Instead of Tigres Del Norte we heard Bella Ciao, and none of the singers knew the Italian words or bothered to even translate them, so they sang nanananananana, instead of the powerful lyrics that maybe meant something once to someone somewhere. Instead of Somos MĂĄs Americanos we heard Donât Worry, Be Happy.
Instead of a Salvadoran woman who wanted to speak to the American union workers about the Banana workers unions, we heard from a dozen white people about democracy, and justice, and the constitution, and no one was warned about what would happen if they marched down the street from the park to the ICE facility. They fully expected everyone to come back and complete the second half of the rally.
Instead, marchers with their dogs and children were tear-gassed to hell and back the second they dared get close to the facility, maybe at best 1/3rd of the marchers returned while the rest were bottlenecked towards ICE. There was little to no water to treat the untrained protestors. I returned to the rally quickly realizing I could not get caught up at ICE, knowing who I am and what awaits me.
When I got back a chorus of smiling white faces sang a silly song like a Christmas carol with their heads bobbling, reading the lyrics from some handed out papers. White people with upside down flags cheered. Then a black woman in overalls abruptly got on the mic and said âWell thank you everyone but we have to close the program early because people are getting tear-gassed, please get home to safety righty away,â - and I swore I couldnât believe my ears.
They had brought us all here, marched all these people down to the ICE facility, and expected us all to march back without encountering teargas? And then when some people had made it back they had them sing a little jingle but turned the one migrant away? I begged them to let me speak for the three minutes I had allotted, noting that I had put myself in serious danger to come out here today. That I needed to be heard just this once, and that all the white people had their fair turn to say many unrelated things, and to sing many unrelated songs.
She said, âyou donât understand, there are children down here,â and I had to say âyou donât understand, there are children in the camps.â
And she tried again, âyes but the gas is spreading,â and I said âyes we have been down here being gassed for six months, donât you understand?â
She blinked twice and told me they just had to break down. I watched from the sidelines as they continued to blare Caribbean Blue and smooth jazz while people filtered out, stood around talking, chatting - finally I said, âplease let me speak, you still have speakers going, itâs been 20 minutes,â and the DJ, a white elderly man in a sweater vest who had a strict âonly the classicsâ policy that seems to actually mean âno hip hop and no curse words,â - barked at me that he had to break down and to help him take down his canopy. I am no maid, so I did not listen. He then turned to my comrades and told them to take his canopy down, which they did not. Then turned to his two other labor organizers who were not paying attention, and they took a leg of the canopy and moved it somewhere without breaking it down.
And one looked at me and said quietly, âitâs okay, take that bullhorn no one will notice,â and we took it and ran.
And we ran to a firetruck which I climbed, and I gave the speech, which was in fact more than 3 minutes, sorry not sorry, to a crowd of workers who were slowly pouring out from the ice facility, some stopping, some going, some who heard me, some who didnât. And I gave it there and it was the only speech most of these people will ever hear from a migrant in all of this, and I think that is tragic. But I firmly believe that had I not given it, had I not climbed the truck, had I not taken the mic, some people would have never heard this story at all. And I think very much you should hear it. And I hope you will share it, if you have the chance. And I hope I get to tell it again, someday, to people who actually listen, to the masses who came to actually support immigrants, and not just to the dredges after theyâve been gassed and are running for shelter while Iâm coughing myself.
This is what I had to say.
Transcribed for accessibility + added links for context, but please still watch/listen to the speech if possible. A live speech really resonates. Begin transcription.
Olivia: I came to the United States when I was 7 years old. And I became a citizen when I was 20. But I am on this stage to ask: if you will give me 3 minutes of your time, *cough* I will give you 300 years of American History that has been taken from you.
There are five crops that changed the world as we know it. Bananas. Coffee. Tobacco. Sugar. And Cotton.
First grown by slaves in the New World, these crops all happened to also grow in a little bean-shaped country that my parents lived in near the Caribbean called Cuzcatlan, âThe Land of Precious Things.â It would be renamed El Salvador in the 1800âs.Â
But the precious things remained after the name changed. And the people were captured, and they were forced to work for pennies on the dollar to dredge the precious things from the soil, and the sea, and the mountains, and the sand. Cuzcatlan was not precious just to us, you see. It was coveted by the Americans. And once they saw our jewels, they would never be satisfied again.Â
The people suffered. And how we suffered! Dying in the fields, raped by their masters, buried in the shining black volcanic sands, their blood fertilizing the crops.
Of Bananas. Coffee. Sugar. Cotton. And Tobacco.
Until one day, the people of Cuzcatlan said, âWe can bear it no more.â And they broke their shovels in half, and they plunged the stems into their masters, and they rode through the streets on their mastersâ Spanish horses, and they cried out that Cuzcatlan would no longer belong to the American companies that demanded their precious things without paying precious prices. Perhaps, soon, those business leaders would learn to negotiate for the labor and crops they so needed.
And the Americans? The Americans could not stand it! They would not abide such a story be told. And so you never heard it! The American companies, and all of their corporate masters came down on Cuzcatlan, with a fury seldom seen before. They killed everyone.
Instead, you heard a story about âCommunistsâ and âTerroristsâ in Central America, spreading a disease that would destroy your country and families. You heard a story that we have no good will towards you. That we wanted you to starve, that we were lazy, and formed gangs, and were lawless, and wore weapons to sell you drugs and fund terrorism.Â
But you never heard the story of Cuzcatlan, because it was a sad story, and sad stories do not sell fruit, and coffee, and cigarettes!
No, they came to my country, and they wiped out entire villages. The Archbishop, Don Remar - er, Don Romero, himself, was shot by the military during his Sunday Mass, for having dared to wonder whether the workers deserved some mercy. Assassinated for having dared to wonder, and he was left bleeding on the pulpit, even as worshippers bowed their heads.Â
EVERYBODY was KILLED.Â
EVERYBODY! The women, with their children still in their arms. Anyone looking for cover; people who found cover, people who didnât. People who worked, and people who had no jobs. Communists. Catholics. Those who didnât know how to read, those who didnât know what labor rights were. Simple folks. Smart folks.Â
And they didnât stop there. They went through the countryside, and they killed everyone they thought was hiding labor organizers or communists sympathizers. Banana union men and women, who they labeled terrorists. And in one village, we still only speak about in whispers, called âEl Mozote.â The Americans tied women and children to trees, and they threw their babies in the air, and they shot them. Everyone was killed, to send one message, and that is: âA union is a threat to the American Empire. Not one union man or woman will hide in your village, or any other. And if you hid one here, now or ever, you will never breathe to hide one again."
And I tell you this because I am you from the future. You and I, all of you, are very much alike. You worked very hard to buy the precious things you have from the ground, the sky, the water, and the aether. You all wrote stories, you filed insurance policies, you taught children, you rung people up, you made sure whatever sorry system they had worked, not because you believed in it, not because you wanted it, but because it was all you could do.Â
And in exchange, they offered you cheap bananas. Coffee. Sugar. Tobacco. Bananas.
But I will tell you a secret. They were never cheap. They were precious. And so are you.Â
And they stole you, and they stole us, and they stole it all, and they told you: if you look the other way, you get to be satisfied and at least well-fed. But who can afford the luxuries of cigarettes or vapes or groceries anymore? Even that is being taken from you. And even if you have them, your food or your small pleasures wonât satisfy you. Not more than knowing the truth about Cuzcatlan, not more than knowing the truth about El Salvador. Today, where our precious land once stood, they built a concentration camp called CECOT. And not just for our precious things, our people, but yours. Your citizens, your dissenters, your unwanted disappeared into the hole that America built.Â
And what will we do when they start building incinerators at the camps? What will you do when they open up mass graves?Â
For our people, the most precious gift of all: do not take my warning lightly. The story of Cuzcatlan is not just from the past. It is from the future. The workers face the same enemy, and the enemy never had your interest in mind. From the moment they had you, the plan was to have a worker. From the moment you existed, it was to create another soldier against the people of Cuzcatlan and the rest of the world. You were a commodity to them.Â
But we have written you a new future. One in which we no longer point guns at each other. One in which our billionaires fear the land of precious people from learning they are no longer precious things.Â
Turn to me now! And tell me you will not forget the last three minutes. You will never again be ignorant of this story. And you will not let it happen here. You will close the camps. You will destroy ICE.
Spectator: Yeah! Olivia: You would rather have seasonal bananas or never see one again than have it covered in blood.Â
Spectators: Thatâs right! Yeah!Â
Olivia: You would rather trade fairly with other union workers than kill your fellow man, wouldnât you?Â
Spectators: Yes! Olivia: Tell me you love me, and that our fates are tied! Tell me youâll stop them from dragging me down from this place, and Iâll never let them do to you what they did to us. I promise. El pueblo unidoâŚ
Spectator: JAMĂS SERĂ VENCIDO!
Olivia: Nunca serĂĄ vencido. Amen.
End Transcription.
It means a lot to me, that someone wrote down this speech for me, that I in the middle of the night wrote for as a love letter to the American labor movement.
I know I stuttered a bit, as I had just been gassed, as it took place not but 400 feet maybe from the Portland ICE facility.
One correction among many tiny ones:
âYou worked very hard to /ply/ the precious things you have from the ground, the sky, the water, and the aether.â - And that work, it is very precious.
May the message make it to you all regardless.
The inherent political statement of only speaking in spanish. Of introducing himself by his legal name. Of having most, if not all (don't wanna assume) his background dancers be visibly latinos. Of showing glimpses into the latino experience with such love and care and domesticity (we all laughed at the kid sleeping in the chairs lol), and including ALL latino countries. "The only thing stronger than hate is love." I suppose Joy is all a part of the fight, isn't it?
how come they make you reinvent the concept of dinner every evening. I have to make dinner come true every evening like some kind of unpaid genie intern
Can someone explain to me why in the fuck the Wizarding Council just banned "Summon Greater Xylophone?!" How on Earth was that spell being used such that it was bannable?
It was overshadowing "Summon Grand Piano", and the creator of that spell has a lot of sway in the council.
The official reason is supposed to be that the spell is too open to modification mid-cast and can allow infernal influences through if done in an insecure plane or next to too many resonance objects, but that's true of like 99% of summoning spells, so yeah it's pretty much definitely the piano guy.
afaik the only augmentative suffix in English is -zilla.
You are forgetting "2: Electric Boogaloo".
-apalooza, perhaps?
-ocalypse, -ocalyptic, -tastic.
fuckzilla, fuck 2: electric boogaloo, and fuckapalooza work, fucktastic definitely works, but fuckocalyptic doesn't sounds right đ¤
-athon, for duration
training for a half fuckathon
Its actually -pocalypse, as in fuckpocalypse, but as an irregular augmentative you can shorten it in whatever way works best. I'm not sure fuckalypse hits as hard as fuckpocalypse, though
-itude, like "not with that fuckitude it won't"
Fuckalyptic works great
Lest we forget -gate, e.g. âthis post is a linguistic fuckergate.â