Eric couldn’t stand it. Making it through every day was getting so much harder. It was okay in the mornings but as each day wore on into the afternoon, the irritation on his nipples became positively unbearable. He was wearing a tight undershirt to minimize the rubbing but it wasn’t enough. He looked at the clock. Just a little less than two hours until he could get home and put on his soft training bra.
His phone pinged. A text from Lucy. “We need to talk. This is getting ridiculous. I’m coming over if you won’t come to me.”
Panic welled up in his heart. Being evasive wasn’t going to work anymore. He absentmindedly wondered if there was any good excuse he could make. The phone sounded again. Mark, right on time. “Puffin.” Dammit.
Eric finally closed the door to his apartment, holding his undershirt away from his tender chest to the point of stretching it out. He threw it off his body first thing when he got in and stood in the dark of his living room topless for a moment, overcome with relief.
He knew the routine. Right to the bathroom. He took out two pills: one estradiol and one spironolactone. Took out his phone and started recording a video of himself in the mirror. Still topless, he willed a nearly convincing smile onto his face and aimed it at his reflection being recorded. “I love you, Daddy!” he beamed with a desperate grin, nearly covering his panic. He showed the pills clearly and then downed them both, sticking out his tongue afterwards to demonstrate that they were down the hatch. “Puffin!” Then he made a kissy face at the mirror and stopped recording.
He sent the video to Mark, who replied almost immediately. “Good girl. Puffin those nipples up nice and plump for me, I see.” Butterflies went crazy in Eric’s tummy. A kind word from Mark still sent his heart soaring.
But speaking of the nipples… he looked in the mirror. Swollen, chafed from a day of friction, sticking out at attention in response to the air. Solid little nodules, ever-expanding underneath, made them protrude from his chest. They were definitely getting bigger. His gradually expanding bumps had just enough volume now that slouching no longer concealed the tenting effect on his loosest shirts. His undershirts couldn’t get much tighter, and it meant constant discomfort. At first they were easy to hide, but this was getting more ridiculous all the time. What was he going to do??
The answer wasn’t to stop taking the hormones. He’d tried that before. Mark did not take it well. He’d broken contact for a week, the longest of Eric’s life. Daily texts, voicemails, DMs apologizing and nothing. Nothing, at least, until Mark called one day and made it crystal clear to Eric that he wouldn’t tolerate a second time. The hormones continued if Eric wanted their relationship to continue.
Every day Mark sent him a code word that Eric was expected to use in his daily video, to prove he was actually staying up to date with his dosage and not faking by filming in advance. He was really serious about this. If Eric hadn’t said “puffin” in today’s video, for instance, there would have been hell to pay.
Why couldn’t he stop himself? He could just say goodbye to Mark and go back to his normal life. He and Lucy used to be so happy together, they had a close and loving relationship and a healthy sex life. He felt like a man, she saw him as one, and it was nice.
But he’d always had this compulsion. This thing he couldn’t ever keep at bay. Some people called it a “sissy fetish” but to Eric it was just a part of his sexuality that he always came back to. He started being active in a sissy community online and met Mark, talking casually at first. He was so confident, so sure of himself, so funny and magnetic. Eric eventually came to trust him and they exchanged pictures, sexting back and forth until Eric was comfortable enough to timidly suggest meeting up. Mark was actually fairly close, not in the same town but close enough to get together with a bit of planning.
Mark has bought him a lovely lunch and they spent nearly an hour walking around the area afterwards, laughing and connecting in a way that made Eric feel as if this was more than some seedy hookup. When Mark casually dropped the fact that he’d rented a hotel room in the city where they met, it was actually Eric who immediately suggested they go back there. Even now, in the midst of all his panic, thinking back to sucking Mark’s beautiful cock for the first time made him feel warm and sent his mind buzzing with pleasure.
They did that a few more times, meeting like that. Mark started bringing Eric women’s clothes on their second meeting, when they were both so eager to get to the good part that they skipped the meal and walk and proceeded to hungrily embrace in the hotel room right away. Then one day Mark showed up with two pill bottles. He didn’t explain how he got them or from whom. He simply told Eric that from now on, Eric would be taking a pill from each bottle every day. Eric was adamantly opposed. He had a life, a girlfriend! But then Mark made it very clear that the pills were non-negotiable: no HRT, no sex. Eric ran to the bathroom, locked himself inside, and hyperventilated. There was no way! But his resistance instantly crumbled when Mark whispered through the door that he was “so fucking hard.” Eric took his first dose then and there, and rode Mark’s perfect dick to ecstasy over and over again.
At first he carried on with Lucy as normally as possible, although after that first time with Mark he had to admit that his heart was never really in it. Sweet, gorgeous Lucy, who would make any man happy. But Eric, slipping on his padded training bra to ease the friction against his tender breast buds, couldn’t really call himself a man anymore, could he? When he had to get or maintain an erection to satisfy Lucy, he began thinking of Mark. It got more and more difficult to conceal his boredom at intimacy with her. The hormones made erections even less common, and using his penis at all now seemed like a chore. Mark never asked him to. With Mark, he was the girl, and he never had to worry about this.
So he’d begun to avoid Lucy: sexually at first, claiming to be tired or busy. She was patient, but disappointed, then hurt. Eventually he stopped seeing her altogether. She would be bound to notice her boyfriend (well, “boyfriend”) growing tits. He didn’t have the heart to break up with her, he just started ignoring her. Now she was demanding answers and Eric felt trapped. Even if he wanted to see her again, he now felt like that would constitute cheating on Mark. How messed up was that? Seeing his girlfriend would be cheating on the guy forcing him to take hormones.
His thoughts focused back on Mark, as they often did. He picked up his phone again and texted, “Missing you, daddy. I wish we were together tonight 😭” He thought of Mark and rubbed his nipples, a new favorite hobby. Although they were sensitive to pain, gently rubbing them felt electric. He took off his bra and saw that Mark was FaceTiming him! He answered immediately.
“Hey, cutie. I wish we were together too. Let me see those little bumps you’re growing for me like such a good girl.”
Eric lowered the angle of the camera and showed Mark as he rubbed his nipples. “I wish you could be here to suck on them,” he purred, kneeling in the middle of his living room, topless for his man. “Last time when you sucked on them… I keep thinking about it. It makes me happy I’m growing these for you, daddy. Can I see your big sexy cock? Pleeeease?”
“I like it when you beg.” He pulled out the pulsing fleshy cylinder of pleasure and stroked it for the screen as it sprang to life.
Sobbing suddenly filled the room. Eric looked over and saw Lucy standing there next to the open door. The door he’d forgotten to lock in his haste to soothe his growing nipples.
“This is why you haven’t wanted to see me?? What the actual fuck, Eric?”
For a moment he thought of telling her it wasn’t what it looked like, but it seemed like a pretty tall order to spin this: Eric rubbing his very feminine chest and begging to see the cock of the man onscreen. “How long have you been here?” he screeched, more effeminate than he meant to.
“Long enough! I didn’t know what was happening at first, then I just kind of froze! Are you growing tits??”
“I… it’s… I mean…” Eric trailed off, not knowing what to say. Lucy started crying again, her question answered by the non-answer.
Mark broke the lull in the conversation. “Make her leave, baby. Now.”
Lucy raged. “Who the fuck is this guy?! He’s my boyfriend, asshole!”
Mark didn’t raise his voice. “Now,” he repeated.
Lucy and Mark both looked at Eric, waiting for him to act. After what felt to Eric like an eternity, he lowered his gaze to the floor. “Lucy, you need to go. Please.”
“But Eric, I love you. We’re… in love,” she said softly, still not fully comprehending all that she’d seen.
“I’m sorry. Please leave.”
“Good girl,” said Mark, quietly confident and warm in his reassurance.
Lucy waited a beat in disbelief and then started to bawl far harder than she had up to this point, slamming the door and running away from the apartment. Eric could hear her shouting outside. He got up and locked the door, not a thought in his head of pursuing her.
“I’m sorry, Mark. Are you mad at me?” he pouted.
“My dick’s still hard, isn’t it? Now start rubbing those swollen nipples for me again… that’s it, good girl.”
Eric beamed. He was a good girl for Mark, and he loved it.