1. Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that youâre hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while youâre gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting.
2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, itâs a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. Youâve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If heâs never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Donât marry him if he canât handle even a little blister.
3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - youâll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You canât change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesnât just wear off. If you hate how he acts when heâs out of it now, youâre going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesnât change that some people just donât fit.
4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, donât make excuses, just get up and leave. Thatâs all there is to it. Itâs better to be safe than sorry.
5. If he puts money before you, heâll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. Itâs one thing if he canât afford what you want, itâs another if he has the cash but wonât spring for a box of chicken mcnuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k.
6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behaviour. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if heâs rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If heâs not forgiving to a dog, heâs not good for your kids.
7. If he isnât in awe of you, he doesnât deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he canât see that, itâs his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like like rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are.
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