I HIGHLY recommend giving compliments to random strangers.
Not, like, fake compliments or randomly giving scrounged up compliments to everyone you pass in the street, but -- say you see someone with an article of clothing you really really like. Cool accessories or a great haircut or something. Tell them.
I told an old woman yesterday that I liked her blouse. It was this super pretty white-at-the-top-floral-at-the-bottom shirt which was really lovely. So i backtracked where I'd walked past her and I said "excuse me - i love your shirt." And this harried, stressed-looking 80-something year old brightened up immediately, and beamed, and then when she and I headed off in separate directions, she had a pep in her step.
This other time I told a woman that I liked her boots. She gave me a company name thats since become my favourite brand of shoes. I told someone else that her scarf was cute and she was like "do you like it? Here, you can have it," and she dropped her scarf in my hands and then got on her train and left. I once saw a woman who had clearly put effort into her outfit that day but was now looking harried and frazzled as she wrangled four children across the road, and I told her that her outfit was gorgeous and she lit up like a christmas tree. I told a gay man that I loved his whole look once and he turned into a smiling, blushing mess as his super delighted and proud boyfriend was like "yea, he DOES look gorgeous doesnt he?"
If you see someone with something compliment-worthy going on, don't hold back. What's the point? Ive never once had a bad response to giving a compliment to a stranger. Everyone to a tee has been absolutely thrilled to receive a surprise compliment about their outfit or their make up or their shoes or their vibe or etc. Give out compliments to random strangers. Its free, and it'll make their whole day.
My fav thing to do. I was bored in line at the pharmacy the other day and the woman in front of me had a nice backpack, so I told her “Hey, I like your backpack.” And she told me the story of how she’d acquired it, and where she likes to take it (everywhere), and how it goes with everything, etc etc and then being at the pharmacy sucked less for both of us. Such an easy win.
And complementing older people almost always results in a kind of rejuvenating effect. So many older people go through their lives feeling invisible or dismissed and just being positively noticed by someone seems to make a really big difference.
And sometimes when a stranger is looking low I will actively look for the thing I can genuinely complement. It’s really not hard to find something that is nice about someone or the way they’ve kitted themselves out, and it can change a person’s day.
Sometimes complementing people results in longer interactions. A guy once (non-creepily) chased me down the street after I complemented his cool green jacket to see if I’d go out for coffee with him. I think he probably had never been complemented in public or by a stranger. Many men, even charming ones, never are. He had this charmingly bewildered and rosy-cheeked reaction at first, when for me this was really just kind of a passing thought as I walked back to my car from a shift. I guess once he’d thought about it at all he was like “worth taking a chance” or maybe the friend he was with told him to go for it. I was about a block away when he caught up to me. I could tell he wasn’t being a weirdo, and he was really nice and respectful when I said “I’m seeing someone, but thanks for asking, and I really did mean it when I said you looked good in that jacket.” I think he probably wore it more often after that interaction. I hope it made him feel lucky.
I don’t know. There are a lot of ways to change a person’s day. Sometimes you can change something for them in the long term.
I've made this a personal goal a couple of years ago to do this every time I go to the store (any store), and its honestly changed my life, and how I view the people around me - kinder, softer, more human. My favorite was this quiet, kind looking old gentleman in a full suit and trench coat at the local grocery store. I told him he looked so dapper and good, and he tipped his hat at me and full on blushed.
(It also gives me the courage to wear my ren faire dresses out in public, because I get it back - one time an employee shouted across the store "I love your corset!" and there was an echoing male voice of "oh she's CUTE cute!"
I remember every single one of these that I get, and I really hope everyone that I give it to remembers, too.
