Sharing is caring
(begin by speaking this slowly, measured) Millennials love sharing. We share what we're eating and making and doing on Instagram. Double click for the like. We share our rides on Uber and Lyft. Click that seatbelt when you get in. We basically also now use Tinder and Bumble (which rhyme with Hinder and Fumble) for orgasm sharing. There is no clicking involved, however- just swipes. Sharing is caring and millennials like to share. All this sharing is really just a pretense for something though- the intake of the mythical Soma. (Speaking urgently, driven, moving at times to anger or ecstasy or both) Soma is that surge, that blast you get when you receive that click swipe, that personal up vote, that little hit of of dope that is so so so so so mean...ingful. ↓Soma is your bread and butter on your Instagram feed. ↓↓Soma (pause) is making and saving money. ↓↓↓Soma (pause pause pause) is what helps get you off. (Normal speed again) There is enough Soma floating around everywhere to knock us out most of the time. It comes through the clicks and swipes, slowly accumulating and coalescing into a shiny sheen. Simultaneously there is a deadening, a calcification, a petrification occuring. Can you hear it? Click... Click... Swipe.... Click... Click... Swipe.... It is the wash rinse repeat of millennial life. Click... Click... Swipe.... The more you share the quicker you petrify, losing all sense of individuality. The more you socially signal and value signal who and what you believe you are until you're nothing but a rock all the way through with a pretty sheen and nothing left inside but the need to continue hearing the Click.... Click... Swipe. You hear all the time "I'm looking for a deeper connection" Click... Click... Swipe.... or "I'm trying to find something meaningful" Click... Click... Swipe.... These somatic phrases all falling because of the pnuematic drilling of the click-click-swipe deep down into the catch-pool of sharing that just needs to overflow with the wonders of Soma and if you can get the Soma to spill over the edge of the pool maybe someone else will get some of your Soma and you'll be able to swim in each other's Soma and then you'll maybe your Soma intake will depend on someone else's and you won't be alone but you'll worry that your Soma intake needs to be in the correct context to your partners Soma intake... But... that's strange. You're still petrifying. Wasn't having this someone else supposed to help stop the existential and eternal rotting away to dust that you knew the Soma was causing? Why are you both feeding each other Soma? Maybe the emptyness didn't exist outside of the Soma like you thought maybe the Soma was the emptyness.... But that can't be because you're still sharing. And sharing is caring and caring is clicks and swipes and click-click-swipe is Soma and Soma is the hit, the meanest of the dopes.