[Guard Dog #0212 "Stitches"]

Hound Designation: Guard Dog #0212 - Social Name: Stitches - Guard-dog posting 24/7 - Hangar 321's resident Search And Rescue expert - Pilot of XSR-530 HATI "Happily Goneward" - They/It/She/He - 20-something

[rescuehound]

Pilot Dossier

18+ Mechsploitation/Houndposting Blog - Minors DNI

[Designation] - Guard Dog #0212

[Social Name/Callsign] - Stitches

[Pronouns] - They/It/She/He

[Task/Purpose] - Search and Rescue/Pararescue

[Chassis Assignment] - XSR-530 HATI "Happily Goneward" modified heavy assault/recon quadruped chassis

[Hound Bio] - Greetings, all. Welcome to my little den on this corner of the omninet. Take a minute, stay awhile, this corner of the kennels is pretty safe. My designation is Guard Dog #0212, however my callsign is "Stitches", and that's what most of the squad calls me. I've been piloting a chassis for the better part of a decade now, and I've seen many waves of pups cycle through this hangar bay. Started out in a run-of-the-mill DRAUGR-class light reconnaissance/assault quadruped, back when I was still a pup myself, and now I pilot my beloved HATI. If you go down out in the field, it's my job to get you back. High command may not care about you but the chassis costs money. Bringing you back is just a happy side effect that my handler appreciates. Plus, I hate to see a packmate in danger. So! Stay a bit, have some caffiene, hear a story or two from this old rehabed hound, and if you go down out there, know that Stitches is coming to put ya back together.

Good Hunting, packmates. May the sky shelter you, and the wind carry you to your prey. Go taste some blood.

Stitches out.

(edit - fixed some spelling issues)

[majorarcana13]

I like the Tortuga :)

[rescuehound]

Grhh, this guard dog likes a good combat shotgun. This is a good frame here.

[thehangarqueen]

*nods*

Shotgun good. Shotgun very good.

[rescuehound]

Aye! Thank you, ma'am.

[litttleprincess-deactivated2017]

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

[trappedinmyoldways]

Depression Hotline: [phone]

Suicide Hotline: [phone]

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: [phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

If you ever want to talk, my ask box is always open

[jaydove-writes]

Please reblog this. I don’t care what your blog’s theme or aesthetic is. This is important.

[heckeronincheese]

Handler in the HR office:

"You do know why you're here right?"

"Is it because of the new torture method?"

Sigh...."yes. Yes it is"

"I don't see what the big deal i-"

"BIG DEAL? I KNOW MORALS AND ETHICS ARE USUALLY A SUGGESTION HERE. BUT TYING A HOUND TO A CHAIR AND FORCING THEM TO WATCH EVERY ADAM SANDLER MOVIE IS TOO FUCKING FAR!"

"But"

"NO BUTS, DISMISSED!"

[rescuehound]

Truly evil, a war crime to surpass metal gear

[is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not]

[utopicwork]

Lets go

[majorarcana13]

I like the Tortuga :)

[rescuehound]

Grhh, this guard dog likes a good combat shotgun. This is a good frame here.

[ross-hollander]

A translation guide...

...for all those hotshot pilots who need to learn how to speak a conversational Mechtech in a hurry:

"Running diagnostics": taking a five-minute break.

"Checking that repairs settle": taking a ten-minute break.

"Sent the new guy to the quartermaster for the parts we need": taking a half-hour break.

"In five minutes": in ten minutes.

"In ten minutes": in half an hour.

"In half an hour": tomorrow.

"In an hour": actually, in forty-five minutes.

"Severe damage": functionally meaningless, they will say this about anything. Ignore it. It is small talk.

"Extensive damage": actually light damage but on the parts that are hard to work with, so try running a little cooler from now on.

"Moderate damage": sure, you nearly died, but shot-out cockpit glass is pretty easy to replace, stop being dramatic.

"Apprentice work": the most important parts of your 'mech are being left in the charge of the least experienced worker in the entire hangar.

"Armored up on vulnerable segments": an extra layer of tinfoil has been applied over your armor and fastened in place with hot glue.

"Extra armor stripped to save weight": your 'mech is now protected by about two sheets of corrugated metal plundered from a local hardware and landscaping store.

"Lunch break": a block of time that begins at the exact moment you return to the hangar with an engine on fire and one arm missing and ends just when they have to hand the job off to the night teams.

"Lighten up on the handling": treat this 'mech like a dainty lady of court who faints onto couches if slightly stressed and must not strain herself by strolling in the manor gardens too long.

"Push it all you like": if you bring this 'mech back in with all its limbs attached or the engine not exploded, they will assume you are denigrating the quality of their work.

"Get lunch some time at the mess": you have earned the Favor of the Mechtechs. Know you are blessed, and treat this gravely. Also, you are obliged to immediately counter-offer with getting command's permission to order in from a place in town. (Assuming it has not been blown up, the place or the town.)

[windienine]

horny for mech pilots. horny for commanding officers. WHERE is the horny for r&d.

[evil-scientist]

new stimtoy idea: 80s-90s anime sci-fi cockpit

Put me in one of these bad boys and I will be entertained for hours

[thememedaddy]

[puppygirl-sage]

You should however, absolutely pilot a mech

[itskippi]

Mech pilot handler who is generally pretty chill and motivates her pilots by giving them tony hawk pro skater style scores for all the sick war tricks they do

[thehangarqueen]

You’ve been talking a lot about differing hounds besides just the classic “hound”. Do you think there could be a sort of “hacker” type of hound where their primary goal is interfering with the enemies system? And how far can we take making hounds of other types? Do you think there could be a type of hound responding to basically every sort of combat style/role?(sniper, melee, etc)

In terms of versatility, technically with a competent Handler any Hounds can be trained in any role, it's just that they're really good as shock troops and berserkers.

However, as of recent, more Handlers have been trying different methods to make a pilot with an activation. See: Harpies, who instead of entering a dog-like ferocity state, instead enter a 'zone' of focus they stay in until the mission is complete. Less disruptive, more precise.

Or Gators, who I will be doing a full writeup in the future, who enter a several month 'hunting' state where their chassis keep them on life support while they stay active, guarding a specific location near their home base or a vital objective.

Now, if you're wondering about a specific classification on hackers? I mentioned them previously: The fucking RATS.

I hate these fuckers. You get hacked one too many times by those little shits and you develop an instinctual HATRED.

If I could find the shithead who made these power-armor piloting speedy little shits that latch onto mechs, rip out cables, and jam all wireless functions, I would throw them into my nearest kennel after dosing the Hounds with aerosolized stimms.

Rats are little shits which deserve their own entry, but know this:

They hunt in swarms

They are terrifyingly effective

They get off on making you sufffer

Anti-Chaff Flechette rounds are their weakness. Apply liberally.

*ahem*

To get back on topic, I have also seen Hounds that do hacking, but they do it quite differently. I'll cover that in the inevitable Rat writeup...

Fucking vermin...

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Advice from a mech tech who has handled rats: Give them shiny stuff and they will LOVE it. I say "rats like cheese" but I really mean "rats like to cheese mech combat". Squid launchers to drench the enemy mech in sticky oil dummy fire missiles as to blind their sensors? Experimental RAC guns to give them some insane range of engagement? A dirty bomb put in a shipping container for them to leave as a present? All of these are amazing gifts to get on the good side of a Rat. I totally didn't lose 10 years off my lifespan from radiation exposure and handling that sensor blinding goo... well hey at least I kept 9 of my fingers by the end of the RAC project.

[thehangarqueen]

Question: did your group happen to deploy Rats on the planet Shiver-14?

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

I believe so Though I have fulfilled a few different roles (including a chew-toy before I got promoted onwards) so its patchy on what battlefields I was doing more than grunt work

[thehangarqueen]

IT WAS YOU!!!!!!

YOU FUCK!!!!!

I HAD TO CLEAR THAT GUNK OUT OF MY COCKPIT FOR A WEEK!!!

I SHOWERED THREE TIMES A FUCKING DAY AND SOMETIMES I CAN STILL SMELL THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

*bzzt*

I'll take it from here~

Hangar Queen has some trauma from the rats, forgive the outburst~

Send her some good rum if you wish to make up for this, that'll do plenty~

-Handler Faust

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Exposed cockpit from a rail shell + blind oils = not so fun times heheheheheehheh

[thehangarqueen]

I BIT ONE OF THOSE RAT FUCKS OPEN AND IT POPPED LIKE A GUSHER.

That little shit did NOT taste like delicious oil...

WHY DOES THAT JAMMING GUNK TASTE LIKE BLACK LICORICE?!?!?!

[rescuehound]

As a Guard Dog and SAR specialist, I fucking hate the lil' fuckers.

During my deployment on Estvan V, we had a Hound get her neuroptics overloaded by a Rat and go on a rampage towards enemy lines, only to get jammed by e-smoke and nearly torn to bits. Lost one of my squadmates getting her out of there alive.

Turns out, if we had brought what was left of her chassis back to the FOB for refit, we would've been nuked to oblivion because the fuckers set her onboard reactor to remote-detonate after a certain amount of time.

Additionally I've seen too many harpies with permanently damaged vision due to their sensor-fuckery. Yeah, we replaced their neuroptics with better ones, but I do not like seeing my packmates in that amount of pain.

Regardless, I hate those Rat Bastards (pun intended) and love watching my tracker cannon turn em into pink mist. If you come down to our den outside the kennels, though, we have Red Bull and the good steak and potato MREs, if ya wanna commiserate.

[rescuehound]

[Begin Log]

< Now, I've gotten questions from a few of y'all as to my callsign. As with most callsigns, it's not really a glamorous thing, but I'll try to explain it as best as I can regardless.

< For a while I didn't have a callsign; I was either #0212, or Guard Dog, depending on the mission. I was still pilotin' my old DRAUGR at the time.

< High Command sent us out on a hunter/killer mission, down into a rebel trench network that kept swallowin' up friendlies like a rabid landshark.

< We took the position, eventually. Unfortunately they nailed my poor DRAUGR juuuust off-center from her head with an anti-tank guided missile, tearing her head half-off and peppering my cockpit with shrapnel.

< Another Guard Dog dragged us back to the hangar, where they had to put me back together, basically.

< And that's only the first of many times that my handler had to sew up a shrapnel wound, or reattach a finger. Ever since then, She's called me Stitches, and I think the pack liked it enough that it stuck.

< So aye, it's not quite as glorious as some of the pups expected it to be.

< But I still wear the callsign like a badge of honor. Because gods damn, we're hard to kill.

< Good hunting out there today, packmates!

< Stitches out.

[End Log]

[thehangarqueen]

Goddamn, 451's Handler knows how to get a party started.

Glad she invited me and my pals from the other base to this party, this is gonna be FUN.

Even got to prep GEVAUDAN for her debut, time to see how fast the Handlers can run. VARGR will be a proud blueprint donor mama tonight.

Fausty and Mandy tagging along is gonna be fun, get to see those two idiots be gay and kill shittheads, makes the night even better.

Hopefully those combat stims 451's packing are the good shit. Doubt those things are needed, but who knows? Sometimes a gal needs a pick me up.

Mine? Well, I've shared my tastes. Time to see if normal muscles and blood hold up to mech guts.

Mannnnn, getting nostalgic. Back in my day, we didn't have Midnight Audits, we just shot a fucker and claimed it was self inflicted. Or did the classic form of fragging, 'cept one time I used a mini-nuke. THAT was to send a message, and it was for the Director of that old base. Yes. I, a mere Hound, committed fragging of a Director, it's a long story and the people who could prosecute me on that are long dead, my ex dealt with them.

Regardless, @heckeronincheese, gimme the signal to meet in the hangar, GEVAUDAN will be there in my place, I'll be with the rest of your base's senior staff. Just give your Handler the heads up that I expect them to keep their hands to themselves, other than that I'm more than agreeable.

Mannnn, why can't Handler's understand the definition of Give & Take?

They even made a song about it!

Regardless, I know Fausty laughing over intercomms and Mandy's humming will be the perfect soundtrack for this night.

[heckeronincheese]

Leone keeps to herself mostly keeps her hands to her hounds

Shows about to startttttt

HOLY SHIIIT THESE KICK.~

Flare is going out

3

2

1

Happy hunting

Just like the good old days babbyyyyyyy

Already blew some sad fucks kneecaps out shes crawling out the hanger rn

Yk the drill.

[rescuehound]

Good hunting, all! Hope the pack eats good tonight

[rescuehound]

XSR-530 HATI "Happily Goneward"

[Begin Log]

// Ah, my beloved HATI. My first love.

// Handler assigned her to us after our DRAUGR came back to base camp in shreds.

// Same basic quadrupedal chassis layout, a bit older, a bit bigger. A little bit more clunky.

// She was originally designed as a one-way berserker mech; simple, rugged, cheap to produce and hard to kill, filled with chain-blades and enough fissile material to level an entire FOB.

// Now she's had the explosives stripped, sawblades swapped for industrial-strength cargo manipulators, a maw full of teeth, a back bristling with missile pods and a shoulder mounted 25mm autocannon.

// She's got more winches and cables than the last time the hangar tried a shibari night, an internal troop/cargo compartment for up to twelve, stretcher mounts and basic paramedic gear.

// She's an armored ambulance on four legs that'll drag your frame back on her back with you inside, all the while tearing the limbs off of rebel anti-armor chassis.

// And if we're sent on a hunter/killer mission?

// Gods help you.

// Also, apologies to the chassis techs that had to clean her off last time. That was a lot of blood.

// Anyways I think I've waxed poetic about Goneward enough at this point, any more and Handler'll have my omninet privileges for being on here for too long. I need sleep, She says.

// Good night, packmates! Good hunting.

[End Log]