feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw! Â Â
âThank you, Captain Obvious.â
âIf I want your praise, I will ask for it.â
âYOU POISONOUS BITCHââ
âYou are threatened by me.â
âYâknow what, I feel sorry for you, because yâknow what youâre gonna have on your deathbed? Nothing and no one.â
âWe are happy⊠So happy.â
â[Name] and I are just two people who werenât supposed to fall in love, but did.â
âWhy arenât you taking notes?â
âOkay, I donât appreciate the sarcasm, but Iâll do it.â
âPeople need to think that weâre in love.â
âI can pretend to be the doting fiance, thatâs easy.â
âWe just got here. Can we wait two seconds before we throw the kitchen sink at each other?â
â[Name] and I are getting married.â
âHow a man proposes says a lot about his character.â
âThis womanâs about as subtle as a gun.â
âI call it the baby maker.â
âThose are the pajamas you decided to bring to [location]?â
âIf you touch my ass one more time I will cut your balls off in your sleep, okay?â
âIt was a little bit of a shock to find out that youâre getting marriedâŠâ
âI owe you an apology.â
âI feel sorry for you, [Name].â
âIf thatâs what makes you happy, [Name], I got nothing to say.â
âYâknow what, apology not accepted.â
â[Name] can be a bit overwhelming at times.â
âHavenât slept with a man in over a year and a halfâŠâ
âI went into the bathroom and cried after [Name] called me a poisonous bitch.â
âYou really havenât slept with anyone in eighteen months?â
âOut of all of that, thatâs all you got?â
âYou are a very, very beautiful woman.â
âAre you wearing makeup?â
âIâve had [number] birthdays, I donât need another one.â
âTheyâre not gonna find out, itâs okay.â
âItâs not like weâre gonna be married forever- Weâll be happily divorced before you know it.â
âMind telling me what the hellâs wrong?â
âI just needed to get away from everybody.â
âWould you mind telling me whatâs happening now?â
âI forgot what it was like to have a family.â
âIâve been on my own since i was [age], and i forgot what it felt like to have people love you.â
âIâm⊠Iâm just screwing it upââ
âYour family loves you, you know that?â
âI donât think that hijacking a [vehicle] is a proper way to express your frustration!â
âWhat the hell were you thinking? Couldâve gotten yourself killedâ!â
â[Name] is never to hear about any of this.â
âYou sure about this?â
âSee you in the morning?â
âWhatâre you doing?â
âTurns out itâs not so easy to ruin someoneâs life once you find out how wonderful they are.â
âWhat were you thinking?â
âLet me get my head on straight, okay? Iâll explain everything later.â
âWell, that was, uhâŠcrazy.â
âShe just makes me a little crazy.â
âSo youâre just gonna let her go?â
âI think Iâm having a heart attack.â
âYou two need to stop fighting.â
âWell then, the spirits can take me.â
âScared the hell outta meâŠâ
âI have a little favor I need from you, buddyâŠâ
âSorry, man, there was nothing I could doâŠâ
âI need to talk to you.â
âI used to dream about you getting hit by a cab or poisoned.â
âI told you to stop talking.â
âThings changed when we kissed.â
âIâd like to date youâŠâ
âTrust me, you donât really wanna be with me.â
âSee, the thing is, thereâs a reason why Iâve been alone all this time. Iâm comfortable that way.â
âI think it would just be a lot easier if we forgot everything that happened and I just left.â
âArenât you supposed to get down on your knee or somethingâŠ?â
âIâm gonna take that as a âyesâ.â
âHe still hasnât warmed up to her.â
âYou can tell by the way she drinks a soda-pop that sheâs a good dancer.â
âCould you do that again in English, please?â
âWhatâs her favorite color when sheâs not at home?â
âWhat relevance does a ball in a net or a Fruit Roll-Up or a Pop-Tart have to do with my relationship with [Name]?
âIs this a game show? I donât understand whatâŠâ