listen to Quiet Company

read intro post before following ▫️ religious trauma blog • ex-cult, ex-christian ▫️ If you preach at me or you're bigoted I'll just block you ▫️ they/them • adult, 21 • autistic, queer, and disabled ▫️ Main has "rah" in the middle of the url

[resignedseraph]

Hello hello! This is a sideblog for my religious trauma/religious abuse/ex cult/ex christian stuff, as well as some of the more serious/personal stuff I wouldn’t post on main/other sideblogs. I’m an agnostic atheist and politically leftist.

～ This blog is friendly towards ex religious people of all sorts, and occasionally there will be posts about this. After all, abuse can happen anywhere. This blog is also friendly towards converts to other religions, and critiques of certain religions are not reblogged or made as a way to imply that that religion cannot be practiced in a healthy and fulfilling way. In my opinion, it is possible to highlight common forms of abuse in specific religions while still honoring the healthy beliefs and practices in them.

～ As I am disabled and mentally ill myself, this blog is friendly towards people who are too, especially other people with demonized disorders. If you think having a personality disorder makes someone abusive, I will block you, we aren’t doing that here.

～ I have OSDD, so this sideblog is run by myself, Esrah, as well as a couple other alters in my system. We have a quick rundown post about who’s likely to frequent this blog here if you want to check that out. We expect people to be respectful of this as best you are able.

Proselytizers will also be blocked, so don’t hit me up in the first place. Nsfw-only blogs will be blocked. Anti-abortionists will be blocked. People whose ideologies oppose traits and facets of identity that do no harm, or oppose self-determination will be blocked (right-wingers, queerphobes, ableists, antisemites, I could go on but I won’t because this is really starting to take up room).

Anyway, now that you know all that, feel free to say hello! Hope you enjoy your stay 🍃

[resignedseraph]

Today Kat (alter, she/they) and I worked on a portrait of her, and I really love how it turned out. She's sort of an embodiment of a lot of the repressed teen stuff we wanted to do around 12-16 but didn't get the chance to, as well as just some whimsical childhood fashion stuff we really enjoyed

So now that we're an adult, she's finally able to come out. This outfit has I think.. at most eleven violations of the religious dress code we followed from age five on? I wanted to share this art though, to sort of show how healing your inner child can also mean healing your inner teen, and how it's possible to reach a point where you can finally relax and let yourself be who you want

(this is also okay to rb if you enjoy the art/relate/etc!)

[ID: a portrait of a young girl with her hands in her pockets, in front of a purple background with a white heart and cute black cat stickers. She has black and purple dyed hair in a choppy cut, and pink pins in her hair, as well as dark eyeshadow and two earrings. She wears a choker and a necklace with a peace sign, a purple sweater with rhinestones on it and little skull beads on the hood pulls, a black and grey striped shirt underneath, a dark magenta plaid skirt, skinny jeans with doodles on the legs, and pink leg warmers. /End ID]

[resignedseraph]

are agnostic centrists allowed. I’m a liberal leaning centrist

(I'm assuming this is in reference to my pinned)

Your personal takes on things are your own, it's what you do with them that's more important. A more relevant question is are you comfortable interacting with someone with my political positions without harassing me/my followers?

For the sake of good faith I'm going to assume the better, but in all honesty, I am somewhat wary of those who call themselves centrists. It tends to imply that there's credence to major positions held by the right politically, which I do not agree with. However, I called myself the same at one point and I was coming at things from a decent angle, and I'm not going to block you without some sort of reason

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

[akindlyowl]

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

[yanmagotchi]

christian pitcher throws a christian baby

[babybat729]

[resignedseraph]

idk personally I like 99% grasped the whole trinity triangle diagram, but that made it really confusing to me as to why no one else could wrap their heads around the idea around nonbinary people. like cmon we all agreed the trinity thing, this is literally easier lol

[swagpaws]

money is super tight, im not being paid enough, and i just lost my insurance so now i have to pay for all of my meds out of pocket

can anyone spare anything to help me get by until i can find a better job :') ?

cashapp

paypal

venmo

kofi

[swagpaws]

had to take goose in for a surprise vet visit today because she cant urinate and its going to cost around $200. could anyone help us with some of it? our roommate is still out of work from surgery so were tight on money rn :')

[esrah-rah-rasputin]

Yet again one of the best things my parents taught me/my brother from an early age that influenced how we view things now, is that in context where people might be nude, bodies are just bodies

See a naked old lady in the swim locker? Yep, sometimes people do that. You don't have to do the same thing, and you don't have to look if you don't want to

See a guy wearing a speedo that looks very tight? He's still following the rules, he's not harassing anyone and just swimming. You can politely look away if you're bothered

See a person's nipples through their shirt? They have nipples, you're right, so do all of us. Some people like to cover them, and some don't really care to. This is okay

This helped a lot when it came to respecting my own discomfort but not making it other people's problem. It also helped me not fall for the lie that the body is inherently sexual and provocative, once one starts puberty. If someone thought my body was distracting, that was entirely a them problem! Even when I was in a wildly conservative environment at the time, I did not see the naked human body as a threat or danger, and it prevented me from developing a lot of reactions or feelings around nudity that would've fed into bioessentialism and both religious and secular purity culture

This was also especially helpful when I came out as trans and more recently when I started doing in-home caregiving, because sometimes nudity comes up and that's okay, and being adjusted to that avoids distress that might get in the way of important things

[resignedseraph]

I wore my hair in a braid or a ponytail constantly because it was too long to not do that growing up, and I've since cut it many times but I sometimes fantasize about having a Mulan-pulling-hair-back-into-a-bun soldier-from-the-mountains moment with someone from my past who didn't recognize me initially lmao

[resignedseraph]

This either has to happen very quick though, or it'll be a while before this can happen, because lately my hair *is* long enough to put into a ponytail and it looks just similar enough to how it did back then that it wigs me out

So, I'll be getting a haircut lol

[resignedseraph]

I wore my hair in a braid or a ponytail constantly because it was too long to not do that growing up, and I've since cut it many times but I sometimes fantasize about having a Mulan-pulling-hair-back-into-a-bun soldier-from-the-mountains moment with someone from my past who didn't recognize me initially lmao

[resignedseraph]

If you ever wondered why you reacted to your religious past differently than you'd react to say, playing a sport for several years, this might be a good explanation and/or validating that it's not just you, this is very normal

Also side note the "you never leave" on the thumbnail is a bit misleading, it's more about how past fundamental experiences influence your present regardless of if you stay there or not

[resignedseraph]

Throwback to 2021-22 when my parents church had a millennial pastor, and he was great but he also happened to be online just enough to where he conspicuously avoided saying "among us" in sermons

[resignedseraph]

Part of why parenting is hard is because children do not have the impulse control and emotional maturity that adults do, and so it’s the parent’s responsibility to supplement that and provide that for them until they develop it themselves. Which is not easy at all if the parent hasn’t actually fully developed both of those skills yet either

And this absolutely applies when a parent is doing a good job! If anything, when a parent isn’t providing the impulse control/emotional regulation/maintaining safety/informed decision making for a child that hasn’t developed those yet, it’s probably going to lead to a lot of issues!

Being a good parent will be tiring, and is a big decision because you have to extend yourself more and be able to cope effectively. That’s why it matters

[caintooth]

you have to love trans women more than you hate transmisogyny, you have to love jews more than you hate antisemitism, you have to love Black people more than you hate white supremacy, you have to love Indigenous people more than you hate colonialism, you have to love the disabled and mentally ill more than you hate ableism, you have to love. you have to love.

[caintooth]

you have to love the environment more than you hate the corporations, you have to love animals more than you hate industries, you have to love your neighbors- human, animal, plant, fungi- more than you hate the government.

[ratherstragely]

My evangelical parents: Every movie or tv show you watch must be approved. There should be no profanity, no hint of sex, limited violence, and nothing that implies our beliefs aren't the true and correct ones.

Also my evangelical parents: We got you, our eleven-year-old with advanced reading skills and a vivid imagination, a Bible. We're sure this will be great for your mental health and cause no trauma whatsoever.

[liquidstar]

"only 90s kids remember-" wrong, if you're poor and/or rural enough, old tech and fashion doesn't just disappear when it stops being trendy. We had dial-up until 2012

[resignedseraph]

On a bit more serious note, no wonder I developed OSDD with the kind of cognitive that was forced on me. The idea that I was inherently wrong but needed to try my best to do right. The idea that doing my best would never be effective. The idea that denying this was, itself, doing wrong. The idea that if someone just spoke in a convicted enough way, that I had done wrong, then I had. The idea that outside voices had the final say on who I was and what I did and what I thought and what I felt

Like yeah that'll cause a hell of a lot of dissociation, no wonder