𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙣, 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

[resisteence]

𝐄𝐒𝐓. 𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐘 '𝟐𝟓 Roleplay for 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐍 from the 90s classic 𝑨𝒏𝒊𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒑𝒉𝒔. The series is a 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐢-𝐟𝐢 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐜, providing a study in the morality of war, accepting leadership, abandoning innocence, trusting in hope, and most especially in 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I. PROMO II. CARRD III. MEMES IV. BOOK TALK V. TAGS

As written by 𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐓. Rules are under the cut, but in brief this account is: ✔ oc friendly ✔ sideblog friendly ✔ crossover friendly ✔ multi friendly ✔ multi-ship ✔ multi-verse ✔ format indifferent. 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐃𝐍𝐈 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲.

𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡: @militeence , @notxena , @brokenmagxc .

𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐓 ... @melniibone (main), @scondstar, @domusmortis

Visit Original Link

INTRO ˗ˏˋ FLINT ⋅ 28 ⋅ THEY/THEM ⋅ EST ⋅ LOW ACTIVITY ⋅ MULTIPARA ˎˊ˗

01 ⋅ OVERVIEW  this is an account for jake berenson from k.a. applegate's middle-grade science fiction series 𝘼𝙣𝙞𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙥𝙝𝙨, and it will contain spoilers. i love it dearly, but if you don't know anything about it it's definitely not for everyone. it's basically about five children who are given the ability to morph into animals, and they use that power to fight off an alien invasion with guerilla warfare. jake in particular is a character burdened by leadership &&. responsibility, and he has actively made decisions that are treated as war crimes by the series, including an act of mass genocide. if you are not okay with interacting with motifs of 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙧, 𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙩𝙨𝙙, &&. 𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩, do not follow me! i am currently most interested in exploring various adult verses and other post-canon content, so unless you’re an animorphs canon blog or you request teen jake, expect for me to throw you into an au. TRIGGERS: posts with triggering material will be tagged under "tw: tag" so you can block them. i'll put anything that could be potentially triggering there, but if you have anything specifically that you want to make sure that i get, please feel free to comment your triggers on this post! DNI: if you're under twenty ⋅ if you're pro-israel ⋅ if you're a harry potter blog

02  ⋅ CANON DIVERGENT just some quick notes for anyone who knows the series, i've aged the kids up slightly so that the war stars when they're about 14 and ends when they're 18 as opposed to having it start when they're 13 and end when they're 16. the kids are all unreliable narrators anyhow, and i just prefer them being a little older to reflect their maturity. additionally, jake is largely based around my headcanons, especially in the post-war timeline since we don't get to see much of it, including the biography he writes being used as a bit more of a propaganda piece. i am book based and i love the lore, but if you know the series and you're wondering why things are a little different here and there it's just because there are 50+ books and i'm one person, not a walking encyclopedia.

03 ⋅ FOLLOWING &&. INTERACTION this blog is mutuals only and selective. usually it'll take me a week or two to check out new followers. that said, i accept memes &&. DMs from 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚 and i highly encourage you to send some if you want to interact, even if i'm not following you. a big part of "mutuals only" to me is just making sure that the people I'm following actually want to write and interact with me, so sending a meme or commenting on a post goes a long way to showing that.

04 ⋅ VERSES &&. FORMATTING my activity is low with bursts of hyperactivity. i use light formatting; i do not care if you do. sometimes i use icons; i do not care if you do. i'm very flexible when it comes to what kind of threads &&. interactions i have, and will typically "auto-adjust" jake to fit in your character's world. one thing to note is that i do not like writing out descriptions of or tagging verses, and therefore i am probably not going to. i know that's the roleplay standard, especially on this site, i've just found that it stresses me out and makes the hobby unfun for me, so i simply don't anymore. i have some very light ones up on my carrd, but in general i prefer to make them up as i go for each person i interact with rather than box myself in with something specific. if we've never interacted before, i'll probably message you to plot a little after some kind of interaction has been established ( send a meme, like a post, etc ) . that's all to say, i might not like to write out verses, but i will always work to fit my character to yours in a way that makes it easy for them to interact. i love talking to people about verses, just not penciling them in ♡

05 ⋅ SHIPPING this account is multi-ship &&. 𝙉𝙎𝙁𝙒 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙮, though on a limited basis. while shipping is not the central goal of this account, i myself enjoy it and am pretty open to it. i encourage you to not be shy if you can see our characters interacting in that way, even if we haven't talked much or done anything. i don't feel any kind of way about people wanting to ship, and the worst i'll ever do is just politely decline or say not right now; i promise it isn't going to make me think less of you or stop interacting. just keep in mind that i will not write him with an uncomfortable human age gap, though i'm comfortable with supernatural age gaps.

06 ⋅ THE END ( LINKS PENDING WILL UPDATE SOON )  if you would like to write with me, you can check out my open starters here, like my permeant plotting call here, hit me up in my DMs &&. send me memes. oh my god, please send me memes! thank you for reading these. i look forward to getting to know you! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

[mcflymemes]

"STOP PUTTING YOURSELF INTO DANGER!" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue for expressing your fear that the person you care about might get themselves hurt if they keep acting like this, adjust as necessary

i thought i told you to stay back.

i love you too much to let you get hurt like this.

this affects me, too, you know.

every time you leave, i sit up all night waiting, praying you'll come back alive.

you keep pulling stunts like this and something bad will happen.

do you have a death wish or something?

this isn't fair to me.

i deserve better than this.

i didn't get any sleep last night because i was so worried about you.

you promised me you'd stop going out at night.

i don't like hearing this.

you've been risking your life, and for what? so you can feel like a goddamn hero?

i said i would handle it.

what the fuck are you doing here?

you told me you'd stay put.

so much for laying low.

you remember how bad it was last time.

seems like you haven't learned anything.

i believe you promised me you'd lay low.

i can't keep doing this.

don't give me that look.

we'll discuss this later.

this stops now.

i'm tired of picking up the pieces once you've left.

you keep throwing yourself into danger.

you don't give a shit about yourself, do you?

i'm sitting here, worried out of my mind, while you're out doing god knows what.

that was really stupid of you, and you know it.

i thought you knew better than this.

what's your excuse this time?

you do realize what this does to me, right? seeing you get hurt like this? you know it hurts me, too?

you really don't give a shit how this affects me, huh.

that was the dumbest possible thing you could have done.

i need you to stop throwing yourself into harm's way.

that was completely unnecessary.

they had it handled.

you didn't need to step in like that.

why do you think you're invincible?

the last time you pulled a stunt like this, it nearly got you killed.

i can't just sit here and watch you get hurt.

what are you trying to prove?

you just like fucking with my heart, don't you.

this shit hurts me, too, you know.

you're not the only one affected by this shit.

you've got a lot of people counting on you to come home every night.

what happens if you don't come back?

you think we can just carry on without you?

you think i can handle things if you end up dead?

i'm not sticking around to watch you get hurt.

you're not even slick.

you think you're invincible, don't you.

quit pretending you've got everything under control.

let someone else do it for a change.

you can't keep putting yourself through shit like this and expect me to just sit back and watch.

i'm done with this.

next time you do this, i'm not coming back.

promise me this is the end.

look me in the eyes and tell me you'll stop doing this.

let the authorities deal with it.

you're making a big mistake.

is it worth dying for?

i've dealt with enough pain over the years.

[cledaydog]

[militeence]

slides 20$ in monopoly money onto the dash

someone write marco

[resisteence]

-slides over my real estate- i will double this ($40) no joke.

[resisteence]

@sunmad sent: hm. i don't like the sound of that. ✉

SOMETHING WAS SHIMMERING IN THE AGAR ALL ON IT'S OWN, WHICH JAKE KNEW BECAUSE BOTH HE AND THE DOCTOR WERE LEFT GAPING IN FRONT OF IT. the sample ( taken from the hundred yard zone surrounding area x ) had been intended as part of a routine inspection. it was important, the email had said, to continue monitoring the acidity of the surrounding area; they were to keep logs of the erosion, and the plant life, and the health of the oyster beds. a new strategy and a new director, he guessed, revisiting the idea of containment as a viable option. funny, how sensible thoughts like that seemed to phase in-and-out with the seasons.

but jake was not a chairman, and he was not a scientist either. even as her hands enveloped his ── timid motions, asking ' do you need help? ' and ' may i? ' without so much as a word ── he could not say what he was looking at. only that it was alive, and beautiful, and likely dangerous.

it kind of reminded him of a sario rift for some reason. he also thought back, as he often did, to visions of earth as a star beneath a strange and alien sky.

          " ... IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF IT ── WE NEED TO FILE THIS, " he said. jake pulled away from her desk, but he still looked off toward the petri dish as he spoke, idly wondering what other surprises their last excursion had produced. " do you have any idea what it is? "

[resisteence]

Fun fact but I feel like Jake is somewhat notoriously everyone's least favourite Animorph, perhaps only in front of Cassie. Which, first off, I will defend Cassie to my dying breath because she is my favourite, but back to Jake for a second:

The general reason why people rank him low is because he's just a little boring compared to the other characters. Rachel is fully unhinged, Tobias was so many queer kid's comfort allegory, Marco is one who hides everything behind humor and is secretly the most ruthless of them all underneath it. Cassie is the bleeding heart, and because of that she gets to uncover a lot of the lore first. Ax goes on this whole journey of deradicalization and disillusionment after seeing his own militaristic culture from the outside.

And then there's Jake, the leader. The lynch pin. None of them knew each other before the start of the series, and he's actually the only thing they all have in common. Rachel is his cousin, he's the one who interjected himself into the situation when Tobias was being bullied, he and Cassie had mutual crushes on each other even though they never really talked, and Marco is his best friend.

The "every book is from a different kids perspective" is somewhat gimmicky. It's somewhat good for marketing. As a story telling device though, I think the really interesting thing that came out of it is that you see first hand how all the characters have an inner world that no one else can reach. They're all friends, and that's real, but when you hear from each of their perspectives there's still so much about each other that they don't know.

Everyone thinks that Rachel is this untouchable combat goddess. They don't get to hear how she's actually terrified, by everything, all the time, and how much she cries when she's alone. Everyone thinks that Marco is essentially the comic relief, but they don't know how he's basically had to raise himself these past three years since his dad checked out of life when his mom died. They don't understand that he's actually the most responsible out of all of them, that he sees the bigger picture the clearest, and that he's willing to do the most questionable things to get there. Tobias is stuck in the body of a hawk, but the unspoken thing that no one acknowledges for a long time is that he likes it that way. He doesn't feel human anymore, or like he ever really has been. They all still think of him as the human he was, and understanding him any more than that is arguably the worst case scenario for all of them, so they don't. Cassie is arguably the only one where what you see on the cover is what you get, but even then she surprises them. Sure, she's the voice of caution, but also she's usually the one who's willing to take on the most personal risk when it comes down to it. And Aximili — the actual child despite being their only link to the wider cosmos. No matter how much they break through to him, he keeps that knee jerk reaction to act like a soldier throughout the entire series, and no one ever sees it coming. He's just a kid who likes cinnamon buns, surely he can't be serious about killing all those innocent people to further the war effort?

And then there's Jake, the guy who's always okay and who everyone trusts implicitly. The guy who, according to Rachel, starts the series as that one in a million guy when it comes to actually caring about who you are on the inside and nothing else. The guy who will always stick his neck out for you, always listen, always smile as he passes you in the hallway. There's nothing fake about it, he's just genuinely a good person. They repeat so many times that he's the kind of kid who hears the word "responsibility" and immediately straightens his back. That he's always been like that, always willing to do a little more than everyone around him because he cares that freely.

His internal monologue in the series is not knowing what the fuck he's doing half the time and just getting absolutely crushed when he sees how disheartened everyone else gets when he shows that for even a moment. And that's early series development — Jake wises up really quick to what people need him to do. Like, these are already lessons he's learned by the second book he narrates. From his own perspective too, what really makes him "the leader" aside from everyone just arbitrarily deciding that is that he knows everyone really, really well. All those secret thoughts they keep to themselves? Jake knows. He pays attention. He's a good friend.

So when things turn into a war, he's the one you talk to. He understands if you want out, he isn't there to judge you for going a little crazy. He'll ask if you're really okay when no one else will. He sees all of his friends in a way that they don't see each other.

And like any good friend, that also means that he knows exactly how to hurt you the most. As the series goes on, he exploits Rachel's worst fears about herself to use her as a battering ram. He manipulates Cassie's good will to get votes when he needs to. He never stops watching Ax, and lets him take the fall for some of the most egregious solutions he's arrived at so that he can keep everyone's trust while being expedient. He keeps Rachel and Tobias in each other's vicinity because he knows his feelings for her is the one link he still has to his humanity. He asks Marco to make the worst realizations because he's the smartest one there, and they all need to use that even if it sometimes results in some really fucked up shit.

Even with that, he still never stops being Jake. He never stops being the guy you can talk to, and he never stops caring. He's so sincere always, and he means it every time, there's just also this other split in his brain that knows exactly how to manipulate all of the people closest to him to get them to do what they need to do, and it just becomes an impulse as time goes on. He can't not pull on that thread after he's been doing it for so long, and to some extent they all know that, and to some extent they all just let him do it because that's what they all elected him for. Consciously or not, they all needed someone to blame every single time their worst selves came out to play, and the person they all decided to blame it on was Jake.

[limbel]

NEVER HEAL indulge in self sabotage romaniticize self isolation ALWAYS QUIT reject your potential never break the cycle let the curse win

[resisteence]

some quick edits. look at his two faces 😊

[resisteence]

@starsorare sent: you've got to listen to me. ✉

JAKE REMEMBERED BEING TEN YEARS OLD, WHICH WAS A VERY INTERESTING THING TO BE WHEN YOUR BROTHER WAS THIRTEEN. that had been the year when tom had started mowing lawns, which made him rich as far as he had been concerned. together, they had used it for ice-creams and gacha pods at the mall ( he still had the little optimus prime their quarters had procured; a very lucky pull. he was pretty sure his eyes had bugged out of his head. ) ── by himself, tom had used it to sign up for another blockbuster card, which he was pretty sure had been his plan all along.

that it had worked at all was a testament to tom's ingenuity. that he had gotten caught on the other hand had been entirely jake's fault, because the night after they had stuck a tape for leatherface in the vhs after their parents had gone to sleep, their mom had dragged him to the breakfast table against his will, demanding her oldest son tell her why his brother was having nightmares about " mountain people. "

all of that was just to say, jake used to have a pretty reliable fear response ── and he really didn't anymore. he guessed that was just another wire of his that had gotten crossed somewhere along the line, and probably the reason why he was currently moving towards the strange sounds he'd heard.

          " I AM LISTENING TO YOU ── YOU'RE STILL NOT TELLING ME EVERYTHING, " jake didn't sound accusatory, and he didn't sound upset. even worse, he just kind of smiled at her like he knew already, and like he'd already decided ' yeah ── this definitely isn't your fault. ' sometimes, he reasoned, that's just how things were. " look, whatever it is, if you don't tell me i'm going; if you do tell me, i'm still going, but you get to decide that. if that's all you can do, that's okay ── and if you don't do anything, that's okay too. "

in the same breath, jake reached up to the rusted scaffolding and started to get a foothold on it. it was simple; that was really all there was too it. " it just sounded weird, you know? like someone could be hurt or something. "

[militeence]

The men who are young and restless do not wear shirts. I am young. And I am occasionally restless.

[resisteence]

@stygicniron sent: you sound exhausted. ✉

MEETING NICO HAD BEEN PRETTY WEIRD, AND THAT WAS SAYING SOMETHING CONSIDERING THE KINDS OF THINGS JAKE THOUGHT OF AS NORMAL THESE DAYS. between the train, the monsters, and the obligatory conversation that had followed after ( what are you? what am i? do we live in the same strange, dangerous world? ) there hadn't been a lot of time to decompress.

the way you got to know someone in a fight was a lot different then this quiet part now ── and really, nico's question kind of took him off-guard in a way that it honestly shouldn't have. for a moment he had this look on his face like ' did you seriously just ask me that? ' , and another where his back straightened up reflexively as though it were some kind of accusation.

then he remembered who nico was, and where they were. he remembered that he was probably just trying to be nice, and god ── it felt like forever since there had been a quiet part for him to screw up.

          " YEAH ... I MEAN, I PROBABLY AM? " it came out like a weak admission on jake's part, but at least he could pull off a half-hearted smile to nico over the fire. the mountains were weirdly peaceful ── or, maybe he just felt that way because he'd been a wolf before. god, that had been stressful. " i ended up shifting a lot ... i'm kinda hungry too, but i've had a lot worse. like, try getting-crushed-under-someone's-foot worse, " jake paused; then he felt a sinking feeling in his gut. he realized he was waiting for marco to laugh. " ... i'll be fine in the morning. one of us should probably take first watch ── how are you feeling? "

[notxena]

SOMETIMES,        jake  is  ….  strange.  stranger  than  the  things  they've  encountered  through  their  new-found  extracurricular.  is  it  because  he's  a  guy?  marco  is  this  tenfold,  her  eyebrow  reaching  her  hairline  every  time  he  speaks.  strike  her  dead  if  she  ever  says  aloud  that  he  has  good  ideas  —  that's  how  they'll  know  she's  out  of  commission  fully.  jake  is  smart,  sensible.  usually  doesn't  make  her  go  what  the  fuck?  but  every  dog  has  it's  day,  she  guesses. 

her  poor  magazines.  chipped  and  scratched  and  cut,  all  across  her  bedroom  floor.  the  idea  itself  isn't  half  bad:  they  can't  logically  show  their  faces  otherwise  they'd  end  up  yeerk  -  meat,  and  the  thought  of  it  makes  her  shoulders  shudders.  “well,  i  don't  like  the  idea  of  them  getting  any  kind  of  clue  from  us  at  all.”  blonde  huffs,  laying  back  fully  against  the  floor.  her  hand  is  cramping  up  and  she's  pretty  sure  jake  has  gone  crossed  eyed.  “and  you  already  know  marco  would  blab  too  much  and  get  us  six  feet  under.  are  you  sure  this  is  even  going  to  do  ..  anything?”  ugh,  she  hates  having  to  trust  her  cousin  so  deeply.  life  or  death  or  whatever  comes  after.  “i  mean,  what  if  they  think  we're  messing  with  them?”

[resisteence]

FAR TOO MANY OF THEIR BEST IDEAS WERE ADJACENT TO MOVIES AND TV FOR HIS COMFORT. things were all well-and-good when marco was making fun of rachel for being wonder woman, or rolling his eyes at him for " another michelangeo moment . " it seemed a different matter, entirely, to be doing what they were doing now. the truth was that jake really had no idea if this would work, and he had already thought of at least three ways it could go spectacularly wrong. he had no idea what he was doing ── much less what he was making everyone else do.

          " MARCO WOULDN'T BLAB, " Jake tilted his head; he raised his eyebrows; then he looked up to the ceiling, like he was half-considering the possibility after all. maybe he could hear it ── something like ' no really officer, my friends have all gone psycho! the blonde one thinks she's a superhero; her cousin thinks he's captain planet or something. you gotta help him, man. '

of course, jake still knew where marco's mom was, and sometimes he felt kind of guilty about that. like his best friend probably wouldn't even be here ── probably wouldn't been a lot safer ── if they had just been five minutes in either direction. if they had just never known.

he smiled at rachel; everything about him softened. " look, there's always stuff that could go wrong. but compared to everything else we've done? this is a pretty well-controlled risk. we want for there to be controllers there ── we need to know who they are. and what are they gonna do if they look at the security footage? arrest a red-tailed hawk for delivering a letter? " he paused, and held up a " teen people " magazine with enrique Iglesias on it. his next point was punctuated by cutting off his head, just for dramatic effect, " or reconstruct the pages from the letter, and arrest every high school girl who's played invéntame one too many times? "

[brokenmagxc]

sickliness was already a lingering shadow barely outlined in the dead of night, though it is questionable whether the cold air causes its daunting cloak, or something other. something evolving in the inside—a strand of dna that actively contorts to the anxiety of living and, separately, being alive. sickliness was the halfway point cradled between life and death ; a disease of strangled potential, and a stone's throw away from anything health could reach. what is becomes what was. and sickness clings in various places, the eyes and lips and lungs, in the same way tiredness grasps the limbs and pain creaks the joints. stiffness from inaction, and also, consequence from choice.

arthur shuffles out of the room and finds a curb just outside the office doors. chill nips the pale expanse of skin revealed beneath an unbuttoned collar. he settles himself down on the ground as if the weight of the world causes his legs to buckle out from under him. there's a soft thump followed by the crinkle of plastics and papers. he places a cigarette languishingly between the lips and snaps his fingers—once, twice, three times—before a spark shoots between the nails and ignites the thin wrap around the drug. heat lingers, combatting the winter freeze with a strange electricity shot from heart to vein to hand. as the light eventually dies from the fingertips, there is a long drag of silence that filters between the pink of his lips and the flare of his nose, a familiar burn following—down the throat, fire, and over the tongue, sand.

stars call the dark wood of his eyes. somewhere up there, orion flitters between scattered cloud cover, coupled with taurus and gemini. the hunter, the seven sisters, and the twins. the smoke from his lips obscures them almost as much as the clouds do. he finds a deep sigh rummaging from the cavern of his chest. with it, does his eyes flutter closed.

if he could sleep, it would here, outside in the cold. concrete and dirt familiar, flame but a tongue away from touching the teeth. thoughts of ongoing case linger between the crease of his brow and the wrinkle of his nose, churning any chance of sleep like wood in a cutter, chips violently splattering over the ground. inescapable, the sickness that is stress, molded under the iron fist of duty and the familiarity of pain. the director's voice rattles the empty space of his head, disapproval between the lisped draw of spit. a religious hymn tucked somewhere between manilla folders and shaky recordings. then the sound of company arriving by the wayside.

he feels the heat before he bothers to open his eyes, a walking furnace of a person who sits nearby and radiates indoor insulation. how long was he out here alone for his skin to have gotten this cold, that mere presence could light it warm, paint color on desaturated skin and make the chill scamper into the dark sky ?? his cigarette is whittling down to a small white line between the huff and puff of his breath. goosebumps tickle the neck and chest as he reaches into his breast pocket and pulls another. brown eyes train on the motion of his own hands—though he stops himself when he realizes he didn't think to bring a normal lighter out here. hesitates, then tucks the thing back and away.

arthur extinguishes himself against the concrete instead. lays ridiculously with back against stone and eyes upward, browns and ambers illuminated by starlight and warm outdoor fixture overhead. crinkled white button up pulls just a bit out of his belted slacks and exposes the slivered chill of flesh by the navel. shaking fingers pluck the small bone from the lip as he blows out more smoke. it takes a long moment before his gaze lands on jake's face, the man watching him from where he sat. brunette hair curls over the forehead, messily spilling over with each twitch of the head.

“ only if you want what's left of mine. i—my light is empty. ” lie twinkles between the tempting change of colors in his gaze, the dip of beige that simmers just around the pupil to a trained eye. hard to catch in the darkness, furthermore when he blinks and looks away. arthur extends his hand, the chronic tremble shaking the little firefly between the middle and index fingers. gaze moves from the other's face to the sky once more. waiting for sound. an answer or action. and then, pointing with free hand to the great expanse of space, one bright star in particular.

“ oh, looks like the clouds cleared up enough to see sirius. ”

[resisteence]

DEAD GLIMPSES OF A STOLEN CHILDHOOD FLICKERED THROUGH HIS MIND AS ARTHUR'S CIGARETTE DIMMED. he could hear his father's muted disapproval, as well as the brisk voice of of that terrifying old skeleton on tv, laughing and fuming as it dragged a smoking child to their grave. at the time, that commercial had been one of the most terrifying things he'd ever seen. the sort of memory that hits you at that nebulous time between nightfall and morning and leaves you feeling small and thirteen again.

he wondered if tom had ever had any secrets like that. jake remembered his brother's old cds ( "open up and say … ahh!" and "appetite for destruction" were certainly two that they had had to hide when their mother came by ) and some odds and ends that he certainly wasn't supposed to have, like the vampirella comics that were always conveniently stashed beneath all his others. if there had been any more contraband that had fermented in the hushed whispers of boyhood, then neither of them had endured long enough to share it.

he wondered sometimes if tom would've grown to shoulder all the hopes he'd ever had for himself. in even darker moments, he wondered if he'd ever be able to piece together the adolescent dreams he'd had for himself.

arthur's fingers were cold when jake reached for his smoke. it spun up and away from them, chasing a galaxy of its own before dying on the wind.

          " YEAH ── DOG STAR. GUESS ITS ALREADY THE END OF WINTER, " jake smiled, and felt the bizarre passage of time turn with the earth for the first time since he'd gotten here. it really wasn't a bad rhythm at all, the city, the company, the nine-to-five of it all. he appreciated the structure, and was still getting used to the relative peace of CIRG.

          ...

sometimes, like now, he didn't even mind the quiet. it was all early mornings and arthur branham, late nights and arthur branham ── petty sure, if everything went well, it was going to be guns and arthur branham too. he looked over to him again as he pressed the other man's cigarette to his lips, wondering what it was about certain people that made it so impossible to imagine them in a state of violence.

he guessed it was his stillness. pretty ridiculous, jake thought, considering that's how most predators evolved to strike. he knew where he'd learned his too.

then, unceremoniously, profound thoughts concerning the nature of mankind were ripped from his mind ── so too was the air in his lungs, " oh god, " he coughed, " that's awful, " jake was still coughing; his entire face looked all crinkly and scrunched. then he smiled. then he laughed, and reached over to hand it back to him. " feh! how long have you been hitting those, branham? "

[resisteence]

Jake needs a happy, no Yeerk war timeline where he’s in college. Except Jake isn't allowed to be happy, so what if for his off-campus verse I make him a PTSD addled young veteran instead who’s using his GI bill for college and falling apart in the bathroom between classes? Also did you know his brother was a “really going places” kind of hockey player and he died last year when Jake wasn't there?

[resisteence]

one of the most “show don't tell” indicators of trauma that i’ve ever seen is when all the animorphs decide to take a break from war to go to the movies. and they go to seen alien, and instead of being scared by one of the scariest movies to hit theaters at that point in time, they oscillate between being bored and laughing because the gore and blood doesn’t even look real now that they’ve actually lived that life :’)

[gayforcelebrities]

[underesources]

LATE NIGHT PHONE CALL PROMPTS.

things that can be said during a late night call. some lighthearted , some more serious. a prompt for every occasion! trigger warning for cursing. change pronouns when necessary.

❛ I hope I didn't wake you. ❜

❛ Hello ? Can you hear me ? ❜

❛ It's late, I know, I just wanted to get this off my chest. ❜

❛ I'm really fucking tired of this. ❜

❛ Is this a bad time ? I can call back later. ❜

❛ Please, I just need you to be honest with me. ❜

❛ C'mon, I won't tell anyone. ❜

❛ .. No, I'm pretty sure that's not how that works. ❜

❛ I'll be right there. ❜

❛ No, it's okay. You didn't wake me. ❜

❛ Can this wait ? I haven't gotten any sleep. ❜

❛ Bullshit. I know you better than that. ❜

❛ What do you mean by that, exactly ? ❜

❛ Can you speak up ? I can hardly hear you. ❜

❛ You sound exhausted. ❜

❛ This sounds like something you might regret telling me tomorrow. ❜

❛ I'm not tired. ❜

❛ I think you may be overthinking this just a little bit. ❜

❛ There's nothing to worry about ! ❜

❛ Can I come over ? I just really don't want to be alone right now. ❜

❛ Promise me you won't tell a single soul what I'm about to say. ❜

❛ Shit. My phone's about to die. ❜

❛ You know that I miss you, right ? ❜

❛ Go fuck yourself. ❜

❛ You've got to listen to me. ❜

❛ This can't wait. It's important. ❜

❛ I don't think I follow. ❜

❛ Man, you're not making any sense. ❜

❛ Are you even listening to me ? ❜

❛ Dude.. I never even thought of it that way before. ❜

❛ Look outside right now. Right now !! ❜

❛ Hm. I don't like the sound of that. ❜

❛ Just trust me ! ❜

❛ I know I don't say it enough, but I love you. ❜

❛ You're really starting to worry me. ❜

❛ He's nothing ! ❜

❛ I don't think this is working out. ❜

❛ Be serious. ❜

❛ That's not funny. ❜

❛ I'm not joking ! ❜