Hi yâall! I recently discovered the podcast after making this tumblr account and would love to pick your more-experienced brains about something Iâve been struggling with. I feel like I donât know how to fully get into âlittle spaceâwhile having fun with it and still feeling like myself.
For some background, I am pretty young (23) and inexperienced when it comes to ABDL play. I only started engaging in play stuff irl once I found my current partner. He is my sweet, incredible, and totally accepting boyfriend who I met via fetlifeâ we are lucky enough to both be âfactory-installedâ ABDLs and are both switches. And despite switching, Iâm still always daddyâs sub even if Iâm mommying. Since we started playing, Iâve noticed a really stark difference in my general personality versus my little personality. As a little I become really quiet, a bit anxious, and have trouble articulating my thoughts. I couldnât be more opposite in my day-to-day life; Iâm usually extremely silly, very talkative, very confident, and a little bossy. This stark contrast sometimes makes me feel like Iâm not myself when Iâm little. I really enjoy being silly and bubbly in my normal life, and I want to feel that free while Iâm in little mode. Itâs gotten marginally better overtimeâ now I can talk and express wants (albeit quite slowly) when little now; before I was limited to yes/no responses and whines. As of now my little space serves as quiet, rest, and unwind time, but I feel like there could be a version of little space where I can still be my usual bubbly, silly, and loud selfâ Iâm just not sure how to get there, and I havenât exactly been able to will it into existence. Do you have any advice for me on what I could do or what I could express to my partner to transition into a more âfunâ little experience that feels more like me?
Hello @immaterialmoongirl ! Thanks so much for sharing your story a bit and submitting this question.
I am going to put it on the docket for an upcoming Question Round-Up, so @lolaandthens0me and I can discuss it together and hopefully share something helpful. But in the meantime, my (quick-ish) advice would be: donât try to force your Little self to be more like you big self.
Hereâs my point: you are fun and silly and outgoing as an adult, and thatâs all great! But your Little self is naturally gravitating toward something else right now, and that is helpful information. Your Little self is no more or less the true âyouâ than your big self⌠but it is a unique space reserved for the opportunity to be freely present and wholly (and perhaps blissfully) uninhibited and even unaware of the social and societal pressures around you.
It may be that the quiet, reserved, non-verbal Little who shows up when you are switching into that mode is exactly what you need in that moment and in that space, and yet who would never show up out in the ânilla world. When you give yourself permission to be without constraint or expectation if thatâs who you become, then that may tell you a lot about a part of you that you may have been neglecting! Let that quiet, peaceful part of yourself be who they are without judgement⌠you may find that it is speaking to a part of you that doesnât get spoken too very often. And you may even feel better on the other side.
BUT (and this is a big but, tee-hee), if you think that quiet and reserved little is actually responding to a felt need to *be something specific,* so that you and/or your partner can be comfortable with the dynamic, that is different. If it doesnât feel like the genuine you but rather a concession of sorts, you may be reinforcing the idea that you *cant* be your true self when Little, and that may perpetuate a cycle of âfaking itâ when all you and your partner truly want is the intimacy of knowing the real you.
So⌠your judgment call. If itâs real and feels true to who you are, let your Little self be the quiet and snuggly mousey they are⌠you might even find that after a while of having that affirmed a different, more secure self comes out while Little. If it feels like a compensation for your own ideas of whatâs right and wrong or for your partner, try to bring more of âthe real youâ to the party and see if you both can make room for it.
OK, I promised short and this is anything but⌠but I hope at least it was helpful.
