B A N G - B A N G .

silent & observing. private + selective an original character. CALLOWAY KNOX. BACKGROUND + ICONS

[narcoticsynonymous-deactivated2]

His sight returns from the eye in his hand, gazing from under the fabric of a fingerless glove, and back into the eyes in his skull. Arcus blinks, realizing there wasn’t a suitable excuse for what he’d been seen doing. He’d only wanted a closer look, honest.

He backs off, turning away with red in his face.

[retrao-blog]

“s’ okay,” voice comes off rugged , crackles at the first sound like tires running on a gravel-infested road ; verbal isn’t his first resort at communication. a broad step closes off the remaining distance from his bike , he looks down while his hand runs across a long keyed-in scratch from a mishap a while ago , exposing why he’s so very careful about it. ( & that the bike belonged to a close friend of his. ) a brow raises , reverting his gaze to his company. chin juts to the other as if to ask for his name or his reason for coming over.

[sinnerson]

@retrao

                            ❝—right now isn’t the best of times for me, cal.                              ( he didn’t want you to see him vulnerable. ) as                              i like your company i’d rather if you left. ( see                             he isn’t in the right state—he would have never                             admitted his fondness of you in the right mind. )

                andrew was unusually disheveled, without makeup revealing the                 dark circles beneath his eyes. he hadn’t straighten his hair it                 seems as it begins to revert back to its natural state. he still                 maintains a stoic expression but his appearance revealed that                 he was nowhere near composed.  

[retrao-blog]

a mistruth underlies words , acts like the troll beneath a bridge that only plagues andrew’s credential like an unneeded blemish. & cal sees it. cleanliness of a suave machismo drops into messy disorganization. andrew’s mask is gone & cal sheathes his position of a passive observer ; draws out his position as a confronter instead.

     ( times changed & so has he. )

“why , ahn---?” a pause --- necessary to sandpaper the splinters of an uneven , stuttering speech. 

     “andrew. ‘m not leavin’.” he’s left a few close friends ---- he doesn’t want to count another to the pile.

[uncle-99]

[retrao-blog]

@sinnerson​ , call.

   ‘ what happened ? ‘   

[retrao-blog]

laziness weighs his bones , binds him down to a field where blades of grass reach up to knees. brightness fills his vision & surroundings ; stuck in an abyss , beneath a sphere of light that brighten cloudless skies. his arms hold out as if in the midst of making the perfect grass angel , & he lets his eyelids close. the breeze cupping his face gently runs its fingers through his hair. detached of everything & all. his own body would meld with surrounding nature if it could.

[wilki1]

CB750

[retrao-blog]

heck yeah boy i’m gonna be getting three days off of work and with no more spring-semester classes : I AM IN THE CLEAR! (well starting tuesday) and anyway i’m feeling a loooot of muse so im just lookin @ @herjunior, @sinnerson, @legendafflicted, @badjokesandmagic. ily & let’s do some stuff.

[retrao-blog]

OPEN STARTER.

a hand reaches out , as if expelling a shield to draw away the meandering hand that almost made contact with his motorcycle. 

    ‘ don’t ----- ‘

[inianmoon]

[stutterguns-blog]

okay even tho cal is lowkey self-loathing ( not like extremely but kinda nonchalant in his self-loathing?? ) he does like one thing about himself: HIS TOLERANCE. his tolerance is the most treasurable thing he likes about himself. though it’s only there in the first place because of what he had to endure emotionally & mentally. he can handle a lot & he sort of, almost, prides himself in that aspect. so yay, happy headcanon.

[nacholatkes-deactivated20151014]

let's do a weird headcanon thing

[retrao-blog]

WHAT THEY SMELL LIKE:  i’d like to think, if cal were stripped of thrift store smells & being around his mom who used to smoke a lot ( even picking up the habit, himself ) he’d smell like vanilla with a hint of honey. alas, he doesn’t: he smells like thrift stores & cigarettes.

HOW THEY SLEEP ( sleeping position, schedule, etc ):  okay cal is sporadic with sleeping times. no set schedule. it’s whenever he feels tired but it’d usually be at night with some naps scattered during the day, depending how he slept. he would nearly be hanging off the bed, an arm hanging off while his face is nearly off the edge, too. it looks like he’s bound to fall off, but he usually doesn’t.

WHAT MUSIC THEY ENJOY: cal is chill with usually anything. whether it be a little bit poppy, or rock, or even rap. he’s just overall chill as long as it has a good, appealing beat to him. chillness is an utmost important factor.

HOW MUCH TIME THEY SPEND EVERY MORNING GETTING READY:  lmfao he doesn’t need a lot of time. maybe ten minutes to slip on his clothes or choose which pairs of clothes he’s going to wear for the day.

FAVOURITE THING TO COLLECT:   money ???? he can’t collect too much being on the road and all.

LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED: left

RELIGION (if any):  nah man not practicing, really. his parents didn’t really practice it much, either. so it’s not been instilled in him that there’s some higher power over him that is watching his moves & marking down whether he’s good or bad.

FAVOURITE SPORT(S):  not a preference.

FAVOURITE TOURISTY THING TO DO WHEN TRAVELING:  JUST LOOKING AROUND EVERYWHERE AND POINTING OUT COOL THINGS TO WHOEVER HE’S WITH LIKE ‘ U SEE DIS??? WOW. WHAT A WORLD. ‘

FAVOURITE KIND OF WEATHER:  anything that’s on the colder side because he wears his JACKET all the time and wouldn’t really want to be stripped from it. he needs all the excuses to wear that jacket so colder temperatures that isn’t BITTER frigid, & a little wind whipping at him is preferred. B’)

WEIRD/OBSCURE FEAR THEY HAVE:  uh! i don’t know, his jacket being stolen or LOSING his favorite jacket somehow. it provides him comfort – oh! as well as the motorcycle that used to be owned by his close friend a long time ago. he doesn’t want that ruined, ever.

THE CARNIVAL/ARCADE GAME THEY ALWAYS WIN WITHOUT FAIL:  maybe whack a mole. lmfao. 

[stutterguns-blog]

two headcanons. sue me.

ok but cal is lowkey about dying. i mean he’s not suicidal per se, he’d usually struggle against someone that’d try to kill him ( depending who it is ), but it’s during the time he actually has friends, or a purpose, or something cliche sounding like that that he’d really try to stay alive. BUT, HE’D USUALLY DO WEIRD THINGS LIKE play around with knives, run his finger along the blade just to carelessly see how sharp it is, act kind of reckless like jump off a moving car, or!! yeah! HE’D BE REALLY RECKLESS BECAUSE HE REALLY DOESN’T CARE or care too much to be careful about him living or dying.it’s just like .. “[shrug emoji] c’est la vie.”

okay but if someone like .. ends up betraying cal, he will mock them by reciting something significant they told him during their most vulnerable moments. & which also ONCE made an impact to him and he can relate to in a situation; like .. if he’s feeling connie is ungrateful for what he’s doing for her, he’ll like do something damaging to her while telling her mockingly ‘ i just give & i give & i give, but i never receive ‘  IN REFERENCE TO THIS CONVERSATION THEY ONCE HAD because she told him during a very important, vulnerable moment of her time that made her cry & cal can be meaner when he’s angry.

[stutterguns-blog]

ok but real talk cal’s social ineptitude really reflects on how he is ( e.g. prone to giving out gestures people would think are intimate or reserved for lovers or seem too out of the norm, draw little hearts or doodle stars ); it’s also why he doesn’t really judge much. as long as they’re chill with him & they do their own thing, regardless of what deems too ‘feminine’ or ‘manly’ for them, then that is cool with him.

[stutterguns-blog]

things cal will do for u ( if ur a good friend ):

listen to your problems ( if you want his opinion, he’d give it, but he’d usually be quiet & nodding; just be that open ear to listen )

kill ( depending how close someone is with cal & if this person / thing tormented his friend / ruined their lives @ v @ )

be loyal to you ( honestly cal hasn’t had friends when he was young so he doesn’t want to lose any that he so happens to gain since he feels lucky HAVING GOOD FRIENDS IN THE FIRST PLACE )

be perfect to keep your secrets ( honestly he doesn’t talk that much anyway so why would he really go out talking about stuff you’d ask him not to? )

be the pillow for all your rage!!! ( he’s got high tolerance, can deal with those type of things ok!! )

provide nice gestures ( again, only reserved for good friends! give you little gifts that remind out of spontaneity or just a hug out of the blue; of course he doesn’t GO OUT OF HIS WAY to do it, it just .. happens sometimes. ) 

be there for emotional comfort without saying much. just provide his presence if it’s really drastic for those he’s close with. * v *

tbh he’d not really judge if you’re weird because he considers himself weird, too, so like ?? have you seen how he acts when he’s alone or .. just really stressed? he’d provide so many gestures or just wave his arms around, make weird cal noises im..

[stutterguns-blog]

sadness.

cal would just want to keep his arms wrapped around himself if he’s feeling sad. whether bury his face with his hands, or hug himself, or keep his hands stuffed in his pockets of his jackets ( which he’ll never take off most of the time. ) 

if he’s considered somewhat quiet even when he’s happy, then he’d not talk at all, not make any indication he’d heard what someone said. he prefers to lay down on a couch or floor, and bury his face more into whatever he’s laying on & just wants to channel out the rest of the world. he’s basically like an unmoving THING when he’s sad & he won’t say anything, won’t cry, just lay there in silence because the silence has always been so fitting for him & always accompanied him like an unknown friend. 

[stutterguns-blog]

honestly, cal’s more of the GESTURES SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS kind of person. if you’re a good friend & you’re feeling down, he’d give you a hug. ( although, he’d be kinda weird and oddly quiet before approaching so he’d end up surprising people in the process?? ) & he does nice little gestures that can be considered pretty mundane but meaningful ( e.g. if you have a fave food he’d get it for you, put a hand on your shoulder to assure and whatnot! ). friends were rare for cal so he’s sort of doing what he feels should be right if anyone he’s close with hits a rough patch. 

on the other side of the specturm, he’d flip off or just give an icy stare at anyone he despises. he’s internal like that, & the only time he’d really lash out is when he’s EXTREMELY angry. which i made another headcanon about here.

[stutterguns-blog]

headcanon. anger

cal’s honestly REALLY dangerous when his tolerance cup is filled near the brim ( i.g. he explodes. ) he can only take in so much that he could emotionally burst ( obviously he’s not prone to be AS angry as before. ) though he’s more impassive now in a sense that he’s just like ‘ lol ok whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ‘ it takes time for little bits & pieces of aggravating things to accumulate into something that’ll take FOREVER to drain out.

(  cal’s tolerance really extended after the first time he ‘burst’ as a kid, & committed involuntary manslaughter.  )

when cal does get angry, it’s a sense of what can he hit, what can he shoot off, & he suddenly can’t listen to his conscience anymore. he’s shouting, not caring if his speech impediment would get in his way ( cause he’d freakin crush it tbh, ) &, if he’s unable to physically expel his stress by violently thrashing at the person he’s pissed at ( e.g. he’s alone ) he’d throw things around, pick up a chair and toss it to the window, knock shelves down. he’s almost like the HULK in a less gamma-radiated sense. IF he’s with someone that pushed him off the edge, he wouldn’t even stop to talk, & instead shoot/punch/stab them depending what he’s had with him & how long he’s willing to let them suffer.

it takes a while for cal to simmer down, too. he’d be like a helium balloon really up in the skies and it’d take a while for him to descend. but when he does, he can stay chill for a pretty long while til he accumulates things internally again.

tl;dr cal’s just a RAGE-MONSTER too blind from sensibilities that’s prone to kill when he’s pissed.