If I break my wings, will I certainly crash?
wooyoung angst, hurt/comfort fic
pairing: no specific pairing genre: angst, hurt/comfort, found family, sickfic wc: 2,185 summary: Jung Wooyoung can't seem to take a break - until his body forces him to
Jung Wooyoung was a lot of things.
A talented performer to fans, a beloved idol to many and an absolute menace to Hongjoong.
He wasnât, however, all that smart.
Okay maybe thatâs too blunt - Wooyoung wasnât very considerate about his health. He did a decent job most of the time, attending all his doctor appointments and eating a healthy serving of veggies everyday. He just had the tendency to⊠not know his limit. Or rather, make a repetitive effort to completely neglect his limit in an attempt to go above and beyond.Â
It only seems noble when you ignore the consequences.
Exhibit A; the idol in question found himself again in their dance practice room at an ungodly hour of the early morning. With a comeback approaching, Wooyoung felt the familiar pressure of needing his dancing to be absolutely perfect - not only for his self-satisfaction, but to ensure he could be a good help for his members if they had their own tribulations.
Thatâs how he found himself leaving the dorm in secret while his fellow members rested peacefully, completely none the wiser to his actions. A good thing for Wooyoung, he knew the chastising heâd receive from them if they found out and with that aforementioned comeback on the horizon, he really didnât want to be the cause of any extra stress.
Besides, itâd be fine! A couple all-nighters on the build up to their comeback and then heâd sleep like the dead. Easy peasy.
He stumbled somewhere in the middle of the dance and cursed. That was the fourth time now and it was starting to piss him off. Walking over to the computer in the room, he started the song from the beginning once again before hurrying over to get into his starting position.
Stumble.
He landed on all fours this time, having been unable to catch his balance.Â
Embarrassing.
Wooyoung was starting to think someone was playing a prank on him, perhaps one of his members had found out about his late night practising and decided to tell him off for it without actually saying anything.
Definitely Yeosang. Thatâs absolutely a Yeosang move.
Wooyoung looked around him for any sign of foul play from his position on the floor, only to come up short. He checked his shoes - also nothing.Â
It didnât make sense, why was he stumbling all about the place if someone wasnât messing with him? Had he started regressing in his dancing skills? The thought worried him, hastily moving to get up and restart the music again, needing to get it right.Â
Maybe he was more tired than he thought, because as soon as he stood a sudden headrush brought him crash landing back down.Â
Oh yeah, he could really feel it now. Rolling onto his back, he felt exhaustion seeping from the pores of his body and Wooyoung partially regretted trying to pull not one but two all-nighters back to back.
He looked over at the clock on the wall to the right of him that read 04:43am and sighed. There wasnât much he could do about it now, even if he walked back to the dorm at that very second and slept the moment he got there, he would maybe get a maximum of one hour sleep time before heâd have to be up again.Â
If it isnât the consequences of my own actionsâŠ
Cursing at himself again, he forced himself to stand, much slower this time to prevent him from passing out then and there before getting back to work.Â
Heâd let himself sleep well tonight, heâll be fine.
The other members started filing in a few later, some yawning while others had more energy. Namely Yunho and Mingi who followed behind Hongjoong doing a little dance. Hongjoong, on the other hand, looked at Wooyoung with a frown.
âYah why are you here so early again? Youâll get sick, you know.â Hongjoong made his way over to him after discarding his bag and coat in the same corner of the room Wooyoungâs own stuff had been sitting since around midnight. Any longer and his stuff will have cobwebs on them when goes to pick them, he joked inwardly.
âAwh hyung~ you care so much about meâ Wooyoung teasingly pinched the leaderâs cheek, only to have it swatted away as Hongjoong grimaced.
âWhen did you get here though Woo? I didnât hear you leave.â Seonghwa looked concerned, but Wooyoung threw him a reassuring grin âI havenât been here that long! Mustâve left just before you woke up.â
He wasnât that great of a liar, but Seonghwa seemed to accept his answer (though with the look of concern still present on his features) as he went back to stretching. An activity the rest of his group were busying themselves with too. It made him feel a little out of place, so he decided to go over a couple steps he had gotten stuck on earlier to distract himself until the rest were ready.
Ten minutes later and the group stood in their respective starting positions for Crazy Form, Hongjoong stood by the computer quickly pressing play before running to his own position.
It went okay. Kinda. Wooyoung absolutely skipped a beat at one point and threw himself off a little, but he played it off well and carried on smoothly. When the music ended and it was pointed out he wrote it off as joking around, which got a laugh out of most of them and an exasperated chuckle out of others.
He prayed they didnât see the way his jaw clenched in frustration. The way he wobbled on his feet.
It wasnât good enough.
They voted to go through it again before moving onto another track and Wooyoung found himself nodding along in agreement. Except, he was really starting to feel at his limit. His eyes felt dry, heavy and so utterly tired. His head was fuzzy and every step he took to get into position was done in some sort of auto-pilot mode - not quite processing what he was doing as he was doing it.Â
He was dead on his feet.
The music started again and this time Wooyoung didnât know who hit the play button.
Now credit where credits due, Wooyoung didnât drop immediately. Heâd argue he made it a solid minute and a bit before his vision fizzled out - not even registering hitting the floor. One minute he was trying to watch his reflection, desperate for his moves to come across as anything but sloppy and the nextâŠ
Well the next second he was laying there, staring up at Jongho and Seonghwaâs panicking faces.
Ah, he was gonna be in so much trouble.
âHeâs awake! Hyung, are you alive?â
âYah, heâs obviously alive, Jongho!â That was.. San? Maybe?
Twisting his head back indeed revealed Sanâs face too, making him realise he was actually laying with his head in the manâs lap. A sweet action really, but Wooyoung couldnât but notice that Sanâs legs were probably just as solid as the wood floor beneath them.
âWooyoungie? Can you hear me?â
Ah how long had he been spacing out for?Â
Seonghwa brushed the bangs back that had been stuck to his head with sweat. The older manâs cool hands feeling like a luxury in that moment.
Feeling a little more himself, Wooyoung made a wobbly attempt of sitting up, only to get pushed back down by Jongho. He let out a groan in protest, âcome on Iâm fine I just fell over.â
âFell over? Wooyoung we all just witnessed you stop and full on pass out in front of us!â Hongjoong was here now. Where had he gone?
âTo call our manager and let him know youâre sick. Heâs gonna come and drive you homeâ Hongjoong squatted down by Seonghwa, worry imprinted on his features, âand yes, you asked that out loud.â
âWait Iâm not sick-âÂ
âWeâre back!â Yunho announced as he and Mingi skidded into the room, both carrying a handful of⊠protein bars?
âWe didnât know which one to get so we just got a couple of all of them,â Mingi unceremoniously dropped his haul on the floor next to them with Yunho following suit. âHe should have some water first though,â Yeosang all but materialised from next to Jongho, practically shoving a water bottle in his face before Seonghwa took it from him and opened the lid, offering the water more gently to Wooyoung.
âStop stop!â Wooyoung forced himself up this time, ignoring the reluctance of those around him, âI said Iâm not sick! And I definitely donât need to go home, Iâll call the manager right now and tell him myself!âÂ
He got to his feet through sheer dumb determination alone, but didnât make it even half a step before he felt himself stumbling again, destined to land flat on his ass had it not been for San who had sprung up with him.
Wooyoung rubbed at his tired eyes in annoyance, hating that had it not been for him putting most his weight on San, heâd fall over again.Â
All he did was pull a couple all-nighters! Why was his body acting like itâd been through war and back?!
âWooyoung-ah if you donât sit down-â
âI need to get it right, Hongjoong-hyung. Just a couple more tries,â he tried to argue, but didnât stop San and Seonghwa from lowering back to the floor.
âWooyoung⊠how long have you actually been here for?â The annoyingly observant Yeosang asked slowly, brows furrowed.
Wooyoung hung his head, both in shame and exhaustion.
âGot here a little after midnight maybe.â
The silence said everything.
âWe finished at eight last night Woo⊠with the time it wouldâve taken to get home, shower and eat.. Did you sleep at all?â Wooyoung really hated how unnaturally shaken Yunhoâs voice sounded.Â
âA couple nights without sleep is nothing guys, we used to be tired all the time as trainees!âÂ
Yeah, bad answer apparently.
âA couple nights? Wooyoung you havenât slept in two days?!â Oh Hongjoong really wasnât happy with him. Peaking at the older man through his too-long bangs revealed the leaderâs eyes being the size of saucers as he looked over Wooyoung.
âItâs not that big a deal-â
âNot that big a deal? Weâve been practising this dance for days now which means youâve been dancing non-stop without any rest! Do you know how dangerous that could be?âÂ
âJoong,â Seonghwa planted a hand on the leaderâs shoulder, âhe knows now, okay? Take a breath.â
Listening to the eldest, Hongjoon took a second to collect himself as the remaining members purposely avoided eye contact to avoid being caught in the crossfire.
âWhat did you need to get right?â Yeosang asked tentatively, causing the troublemaker to finally raise his head. âThe dance, I keep stumbling through it⊠My moves arenât sharp enough, I- I donât know why I canât just do it.â
âBecause youâre tired, Youngie,â Hongjoongâs voice was considerably calmer now, warmer, it made Wooyoung feel a little better. âOf course you wonât get it right if youâre half asleep the whole time.â
âTo be fair, you were still doing it pretty good!â Mingi pitched in, âimagine how pristine itâd be if you did it with a full night's sleep.â
Playing with the hem of his t-shirt, Wooyoung felt himself accepting that his members were, likely right - though he still couldnât help but feel disappointed in himself. Not just for messing up practice, but now for causing everyone to worry over him and for lying to them.
Sneaking out behind their backs? What sort of teenage loser did he think he was?
He was brought out of his thoughts by a hand in his hair, looking up to see Seonghwa smile at him warmly. âDonât think about work right now okay? Focus on that nice rest youâre gonna get when you get back to the dorms.â
âIâm sorry.â
Hongjoong sighed before chuckling a little, âyou worried us, Woo, Iâve never heard Mingi squeal so loud-â âhey!â â-but like Hwa said, just focus on getting better okay? No oneâs angry at you.â
âI mean you did sound kind of mad earlier, hyung,â Yeosang reminded jokingly.
âYah, Yeosang do you want a lecture too?â
The conversation was cut short by their manager entering the room, huffing and puffing, clearly having rushed his way there. Somewhere in his gasps for breath he asked if Wooyoung needed to go to the hospital which was immediately shut down by the man.Â
Hospital for a case of the eepys? No way.
The members helped him gather his things which, luckily, did not have any cobwebs on them and San and Jongho helped Wooyoung to his feet once again. It all felt like overkill, a little embarrassing even, but there was no denying the warm feeling blossoming in his chest.
San walked him to the car in the buildingâs parking lot as the manager handled the bags, giving Wooyoung one last ruffle of his hair before leaving the pair to go back to practice.
Wooyoung was asleep before the car was even in motion.