This will be the last time I'll be writing about you. I had you instantly, but with all the reservations and hesitations I gave it all. Not my body but my heart and soul. It took me years to completely heal myself from past lover. And it took you six months to completely shatter me into pieces. You had the most beautiful eyes. When I looked at you I get the feeling of looking into your soul. Maybe that is why I lost myself on you. You've had enough. With all the deaths and fallbacks in your life, I saw that you were very tired. And there I was, sitting across you, silently breaking my heart to every broken pieces you had. I thought you needed love, that I can replace her. But I was wrong, from the very beginning I was never right. You told me you were over her, I trusted you wholeheartedly. I gave you the sweetest smile I once had. I let down my guard, and you finally see the vulnerabilities of me. I thought we could be something, and again I was wrong. All the "I love you" that came from my mouth were the most purest thing I said to you. And I was happy because you did the same, utter those words while looking into my eyes, as if they were real, as if they were for me. But again, I was wrong. I defended you from all the people who tried to warn me. That you aren't good for me, that I should lose you fast. But I never listened. Until one day, with my very own eyes, I was slapped with the truth. You were not over her. That from the very beginning of our story, it wasn't about me, it was about you trying to escape from a really fucked up break up story. I was wrong. For thinking you loved me the same. I was wrong. For thinking that we could be something. I was wrong. That you can be trusted. I pitied myself, ask questions, am I not enough? Am I not enough for you to forget her? And that was when insecurities started to eat the whole of me. I was degraded, emptied, a good for nothing replacement. And it took me months to gradually sink this in to my mind. After all the tears, grudges and pain, I forgave, not because I wanted you back, but simply because I couldn't hold grudges in my heart for too long. With all the overthinking in my head, I forgave you, because after all you were just a man, who once gave too much in love. Now I hope nothing but for you to be happy with her, and respect every woman you will meet. And now, I will carefully heal myself back, and be a better version of it. –r.t.
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