more of B. Dylan Hollis’ baking TikToks - sentence starters
1. “When I think of zucchini, I think of good barbeque, summer salads… men. Just not dessert.”
2. “I hate zuchinni. It doesn’t taste bad, it just makes me feel insufficient.”
3. “I’m guessing the flavor profile is going to be cholestrol.”
4. “Some dishes aren’t amazing, but they are innately comforting, and this is a prime example. Like a hug on a plate.”
5. “I don’t need instructions. I’m single.”
6. “At least its hot garbage.”
7. “It’s a demon quiche!”
8. “That isn’t a typo, this is is delibrate. Someone published this! And got paid for it!”
9. “Can I start making assumptions now?”
10. “Do you know what a salad is? Because whatever you think is - is wrong!”
11. “At least nothing hatched.”
12. “It’s not dinner time until you add a pack of gelatine to some water!”
13. “You know what stings more than a knife, _____? Rejection.”
14. “No veggies allowed!”
15. “It’s a cat food recipe!”
16. “I hate cottage cheese. It looks like its listening to me.”
17. “Now that’s just a good cookie. It is distinctly different, but good.”
18. “No spices for you!”
19. “There’s no Jell-O in here, just the dark arts.”
20. “The taste is good, it’s like Christmas, but it’s unpleasantly slimy.”
21. “Look who’s fallen from grace. Shame.”
22. “Yes, this definitely is one of these salads, which definitely isn’t a salad, because ______ is unsupervised and they can’t be stopped.”
23. “You don’t measure this in calories. No, you measure this in years taken off your life expectancy!”
24. “Is it good? No. Is it bad? No. It’s sugar!”
25. “Go ahead, feed this to a child. You’re going to yeet them into orbit.”
26. “It’s known that here in ______, they’ll deep-fry anything that isn’t bolted to the earth, including zucchinis, hot dogs, and several species of large bird.”
27. “Don’t bake these, they’ll be flatter than my butt.”
28. “Are you ready to die? Yeah, me too.”
29. “This is perfection. I don’t know what else you want me to say. Whoopsie, they’re gone!”
30. “This is enough to incapacitate one medium child.”
31. “You sure this wasn’t meant for a bird?”
32. “This takes a while to come out. Don’t worry, I did too.”
33. “This is culinary terrorism!”
34. “Tastes like a bookshelf! Books included!”
35. “Never been down here, have you? Welcome.”
36. “We’re pacifiers. No… we’re not pacifiers…. Pacifists!”
37. “In ______, this recipe is actually protected by law. Bake it wrong? To jail!”
38. “I love oats. They taste like grandparents.”
39. “I did have to convert this entire recipe from grams into freedom units.”
40. “Nothing quite says ‘autumn’ like an apple… except pumpkin, or seasonal depression.”
41. “Living large tonight, ______! We got oats!”
42. “I’m not making fun of the Great Depression… I am making fun of the Great Depression.”
43. “They look dead, but my house smells amazing!”
44. “Fall. Winter. Fireplaces. Beautiful! The very definition of ‘simple, yet brilliant’.”
