i havenβt forgotten this account existed just kinda dipped bc shit was dead lmaooo but i am in dire need of a place to empty my brain of all the thoughts that love to linger and this is free while meeting w my therapist is not.
im hoping that adjusting my meds again will help with the constant racing thoughts the constant feeling that i have annoyed everyone around me and that everyone actually hates me and wishes i would just go away
i am simply only tolerated bc people have no other choice and coming to terms with that is incredibly saddening
i feel like all i do is burden those around me and while i havenβt hit the point of being so miserable i wish i could die living like this on a daily basis is exhausting. i feel like i am in a constant battle with myself because i get my meds adjusted feel better feel stable put in the work to not feel like this only to have to wash rinse repeat after a couple months when i inevitably get used to the dosages i am on.
i have changed my thinking and have grown tremendously since the last time i posted but time and time again my brain comes back with a vengeance. i wouldnβt wish this on anyone. it is so draining. i have no energy or motivation or any desire to do anything. i hate to think about the fact that this is going to be a constant struggle for the rest of my life. itβs a terrible terrible feeling
