(untitled)

[secret side blog]

[revengeoftheblogger]

i’m pretty sure i have an actual boyfriend, guys.

[revengeoftheblogger]

falling in love is so wild.

I think we’re both……..

And if we are…

It’s interesting I feel like we almost skipped a step. We’re not…anything yet…. But we’re so far into comfort and close-quarter existing and…not symbiosis, lol…but something akin to that.

It’s like we know what’s going to happen and we’re in no rush but we also missed the initial…idk is this how all friendships develop into more? You’re already so intimate and secure but it starts taking…a different…more….

Idk I lost what I was trying to explain.

I love him so much and I think it’s super clear that it’s not just platonic.

We keep spending such time together. I don’t…I just….

When we hugged tonight our cheeks touched and I just kept feeling the sensation of his cheek on mine and I just….

I’m so in love.

[revengeoftheblogger]

My friend left me all of the jalapeños from his nachos one time and even if he doesn’t like jalapeños idk that felt like true love.

[revengeoftheblogger]

What’s dumb is…I hope sitting there with some sort of physical contact the whole time also means anything to him. I don’t know what I don’t get direct information about.

Honestly I think I’m getting more than enough signs that this is really almost and becoming a thing. But either we’re both scared and unsure how to proceed or I’m actually just making things up.

But I don’t think so. I think other people see it too. We always want to be close to each other. It’s not even a question anymore that we’ll always sit next to each other.

I think it’s there. There are some either subtle or obvious things and I can’t be sure. Because I’ll always doubt myself. But we were together 4/7 days last week, lol. There were almost moments that…I’m not sure what’s the…he’s opening up so much though. I really think we have this insanely special connection.

Maybe things he thinks are a given, just because of my insecurity, he assumes he doesn’t need to be clearer about.

I mean that hug two nights ago was……..we have such beautiful intimate moments – emotionally, physically.

Hell I’m so dumb and insecure we probably COULD kiss and I’d be like “idk does he like me??” Stay tuned. I’m sure if that happens I’ll still doubt everything, lol.

[revengeoftheblogger]

I’m so in love it’s stupid.

But I think he might actually be too?

[revengeoftheblogger]

still in love with my friend. still no idea where his head’s at. i don’t think he’s even thinking about that.

[revengeoftheblogger]

I better be able to search this fucking blog for song lyrics in the near future

[revengeoftheblogger]

How do you live in the truth that you can’t say….“I would marry you tomorrow if that wasn’t insane”

[revengeoftheblogger]

I had the worst and the best week of my life last week

[revengeoftheblogger]

It’s such a weird yet wonderful thing because I’m getting everything out of this relationship except anything physical and I mean…sure I dream about kissing him, etc. but this all feels so much more special?

I’ve never really associated love and sex very much. The two have pretty much always been separate experiences for me so it’s just…idk. Idk what it means but I’m so grateful for what I have right now.

It’s such a special type of love. I feel lucky. Even though I want more, this might be even better. And definitely what I need. Lol give it 5 years maybe, lol.

Hoping I can handle the pain and heartbreak if/when he gets a girlfriend…… HA.

[revengeoftheblogger]

It’s either never going to happen or I’m living in a slow-burn YA series of novels….

[revengeoftheblogger]

I think we’re just besties. But. I mean. Of course I still love him. But. I’m okay with this. Friend love is good. It’s so important. I’m so thankful for him.

[revengeoftheblogger]

literally almost praying for him to text me i’m such a loser.

(i usually text first and he always answers enthusiastically but for once i want to hear from him first….)

[revengeoftheblogger]

I can’t handle crushes. Legitimately I can’t think of my last serious crush. There were a lot of unserious ones but this one is so intense I’m in agony.

Maybe cuz this one is different and last time I was in love with a friend like this was freshman year of college and that completely destroyed my life….

[revengeoftheblogger]

genuinely think kissing the boy i like would solve half my problems

[rolitae]

❄ It's getting cold outside ❄

[lochnessieart]

Final day in the dnd series! I based the DM one off of Brennan because I shamelessly tagged him in every dnd bird pic I posted on ig (sorry Brennan)

Thank you all for tagging along with me for this series! I finished it a while ago and am still kinda sad it’s over 😭 I plan on making more dnd bird stuff but I’m still in school and I put a lot of time into this series so I am a wee bit burnt out. I loved making it though! I am also so so so proud of myself for finishing it to begin with! Thank you all for the love on my birds 🥺💖