Ready or Not
Fair warning: I write with a lot of spoilers. SoâŚspoiler alert.
Ready or Not (Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, 2019)Â is a mystery/thriller that follows Grace (Samara Weaving) on the day of her wedding. She is about to marry into a family âricher than God,â and all she must do to be accepted into this family is play a randomly chosen game. Easy enough. However, when she unluckily draws the Hide and Seek card, the only bad card in the game, things take a turn for the homicidal. Basically, the family gets to hunt her. She spends her wedding night running and hiding from this group of maniacs that claim they need to kill her before dawn or else they will all die themselves.
If youâre a fan of The Purge films, this movie might be worth a watch. But even more so, as soon as I saw the trailer, I immediately got Get Out (Jordan Peele, 2017) vibes. In no way am I saying that Ready or Not even comes close to being as masterful as Get Out, but it definitely drew some inspiration from there. A young girl goes to her rich boyfriendâs family home, the family is creepy as hell and has some pretty dark secrets, they end up trying to kill her, she escapes a few times and is caught a few times, and her boyfriend eventually turns out to be a bad guy. I donât know, you tell me.
This film had no problem with gore. Bullet to the face, arrow through the throat, or a skull being cracked, it wasnât afraid to show the aftermath of a gruesome and fatal injury. I appreciate that. Most of the time they leave you wanting more when it comes to the gory stuff. Here, I almost wanted less. Almost.
Now this is more of a comment on the whole horror/thriller genre in general, but HEY. MAKE SURE THEYâRE DEAD. This film had no shortage of screaming-at-the-screen anger when it came to this. Multiple times Grace had the chance to kill several of the people trying to kill her and she just didnât follow through. Mainly the scene when she strangles Stevens (John Ralston) in the field. GIRL. He dropped a gun right next to you. Shoot him.
My absolute favorite part about this movie was Samara Weaving. This is the first role Iâve seen her play and I thought she was brilliant. This part called for lots of hyperventilating, and one thing Samara is clearly quite good at is hyperventilating. She was the perfect amount of sassy and badass without ever coming off as annoying. Her reactions seemed really realistic given the situation. I was entirely convinced and enthralled by her performance and she gained a new fan in me. And watching her punch an eight-year-old in the face was fantastic.
Side note: Danielâs character (Adam Brody) was another one I loved throughout this film. He was so dimensional and interesting and I was rooting for him.
And since I canât seem to get through a movie these days without one jarring complaint, here it is: that awful ending. It literally felt like an episode of Scooby-Doo (no disrespect to Scooby-Doo). The film wasnât perfect, it had its faults, but up until the last five minutes, I was very impressed by it. More than I thought I would be. But then they ruined it. The curse ends up being real and, no joke, the family members just start exploding. I literally thought to myself, âoh fuck off.â I was so disappointed I couldnât even find the words. AND, to top it all off, there was a ghost. It felt so cheap to me and so poorly written that I was genuinely disappointed.
I will give them this, the final shot of the film was beautiful, with Grace exiting the burning house in her now black and bloodied wedding dress and sitting down on the steps. That was well done.
Hereâs my suggestion for an alternate ending, in case anyone anywhere cares:
The family kept saying that anyone who objected to playing the game ended up mysteriously dying the next morning. So, instead of having them literally explode, add a character here. Introduce a last-minute addition to the family. A bastard cousin that no one knows about that has been the game master all along, maybe following in his fatherâs footsteps before him, as this game has been going on for years. Explain that he goes to each wedding and makes sure the game is being played correctly, and if not, he kills the cheaters the next morning, making it seem like there is a curse. This scene could have been incredible. Cue the creepy music on the record player â which here is apparently put on by the ghost. Sigh. He walks in, tells them who he is and that he is here for them because they failed, gives them 100 seconds to hide, and then hunts them down one by one, eventually prevailing with ease because he is clearly a badass, leaving only Grace alive to see the aftermath. Now that is an ending I wouldâve been proud of.
Lastly, hereâs some of my questions/observations:
Aunt Helene (Nicky Guadagni) says that Alex (Mark OâBrien) is the only one that had actually seen this game creator in person, sitting in the chair. This is never explained. When did he see him? Was it the ghost? Last time there was a Hide and Seek game, Alex was locked in a closet. So why was this randomly brought up?
Alexâs betrayal of Grace really seemed to come out of nowhere for me. He was willing to do just about anything for her, including betraying his entire family even though he knew about the curse. Sure, watching her beat his motherâs skull in may be a game changer, but the last thing I expected was for him to completely turn on her. Maybe leave the house or call the family in to come grab her, but he was literally going to be the one to stab her in the heart. Guess he didnât love her that much. Â
Where the hell did the âHail Satanâ chant come from...?
5 September 2019









