real talk, which doctor would you smoke a blunt with? what would even happen if a time lord smoked weed
i remember something from "Alien Bodies" (EDA) about how timelords can't really get drunk (and therefore probably can't get high), but fuck that. let's play in the space for a bit. *drugs, smoking, alcohol cw*
first doctor: he pretends to discourage drugs and alcohol around humans but then goes to other planets and is like "this is the snorgal ham plant and it does unthinkable things to your mind and body" before swallowing it whole
second doctor: he's a chatty drunk and a quiet smoker, he's so chill that you think he might be dead until he randomly says something like "jamie? how many hats do you think i can wear at once???" in a distressed voice
third doctor: he's done literally every single drug you can imagine for scientific purposes. this man has been crossfaded upside down and sideways. jon pertwee was out here lookin like this in the 70's and he had a villa in Ibiza. bitch smokes weed.
fourth doctor: he doesn't even need drugs, my mans is already sky high from the adrenaline rush of one eternal manic episode. he's never been sober in his life.
fifth doctor: look, i love him, but he'd be a total dad about it. he'd say some dad catchphrase like "no, no, you know me - i stay on my toes, i stay sharp" and then swing a cricket bat and break a priceless vase
sixth doctor: you pass him the blunt and he laughs. "what, that's all? no triglyceride tetrachrolonitrine 5? no Lady's Nightgown? no double helix paper?" he pulls this monstrosity out of his pocket.
seventh doctor: he's so fucking neurotic that you can't even get him to sit down. he tries but then he sees something shiny and goes to investigate. it was a cyberman. he commits some war crimes.
eighth doctor: legally not allowed to have any kind of stimulant or depressant, per Liv's orders. keep him away from the coffee and sweets. he hasn't slept in four months, thirteen days, nine hours, forty-five minutes, seven… eight… nine seconds. yes, he's counting.
shalka doctor: smokes HELLA kush, on god, but you already knew that.
war doctor AND ninth doctor: continues to smoke lethal amounts of weed and drink fruity cocktails to cope with specters of the past. jesus christ, that's his fifth strawberry daiquiri in twelve minutes. someone hide the white rum.
tenth doctor: he has girls' nights with donna where they hotbox venusian saunas and listen to katy perry. don't let the existential dread set in. don't let it set in. let's do some karaoke.
twelfth doctor: you know, i've seen all of his episodes many times, and for the entire duration of his run, i never saw him stop vaping weed. must be the respiratory bypass. he's always spewing thick clouds and flipping everyone off with both hands. it's an interesting cinematic choice.
thirteenth doctor: her tardis literally looks like the inside of a disco ball and you think she's sober??? well, you'd be right, because she doesn't know how to find a dealer and she's too scared to ask. someone help her.
please please tell me which one you'd pick, i genuinely want to know. i think that every single Doctor is a disaster and smoking with any of them would result in my immediate demise, but if i had to choose, it would probably be twelve. let's go out blazing.
theartofmadeline
yousharknotpass
vaporwave
areudirty
annaxmalina
gummygunk
pixelskylines
