that is so punk rock

Hi, I'm Alma. Feel free to talk to me because I like having friends.

[strongbowdarkfruit]

you don’t need fun to have alcohol

[rfjdsakfjs]

person: are you ok?

me: im fine

arrested development narrator voice: that was a lie

[silentdreamingeyes]

[izyurfimenipaflanyant]

do celebrities ever get called for jury duty? imagine having shaquille o’neal declare you guilty

[anjaroid]

get slammed in two courts at once

[gwschoolhiatus-deactivated20161]

saying “sorry im out of it today” as if im not like this all the time is my fav lie

[unshrink]

you know, it’s really rude to talk while I’m interrupting

[freudianpunk]

Journalism continues to struggle

[gifsboom]

[rfjdsakfjs]

thebestoftumbling:

kitty bathing his chick friend

[themorallycorruptfayeresnick]

[iwontallowit]

[businesshag-deactivated20160606]

help him

[rfjdsakfjs]

me when home alone: *cooks great food, cleans the entire house, does the dishes, is genuinely happy*

me when parents are home: *can't even boil water, room is constantly a mess, becomes exhausted just thinking about leaving the bedroom, is constantly annoyed*

[ruinedchildhood]

[pussy-and-pizzza-x-deactivated2]

This is what it’s like applying for jobs

[hostbusters]

Chocolate by The 1975 Lyrics

As heard:

Hey now, koi schplipi cushya knowthatcha will, Oh, ya buy ya fren lie CHOCOLATE YOU SAID a weeee go. Ah nobody knowp>, Wih GUNS HIDDEN UNDER OUR peh ee coh, Oh, We nebagonnaquiddi nu wenebagonnaquiddi no,

Now, RUN RUN AWAY FROM THE poison o’ ploo, Oh, macaw, SMELLS LIKE CHOCOLATE, HEY NOW, ah think about what you doWAH, THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY, THINK ABOUT hahte thin, Pois en play pois in play POOOIS eh,

OHHHH WE. GO. ANOOBODYNOHHHoooo, Wih GUNS HIDDEN UNDER OUR peh ee coh, Mmmmm, wenebagonaquiddi nuuu wenebagonaquidi NO. Ye, WE DRESSED IN BLACK FROM HEAD TO TOE, WE GOT GUNS HIDDEN UNDER OUR peh ee coh, Nuuu, wenebagonaquiddi nuu wenebagonaquidi no.

Nuhh, yuh nebagonaquiddinuhyhnebagonaquiddi ih yuh don stah SMOKIN’ IT, That’s What She Said ;) SHE SAID, WE DRESSED IN BLACK FROM HEAD TO TOE, w GUNS HIDDEN UNDER OUR peh ee coh, Mmm, we nebagonaquiddi nu wenebagonaquiddi no,

Hey now, we buldinaw speedy schlehh pro chinna HILL, Oh, mah heh smez lie CHOCOLATE, Hey now, ye sayyuh gonaquiddi buh ynebagonaquiddi gorgeddi gorgeddi gorgeddi gorgeddi Go. Play coo.

Uhhwee saydawee. Go. Anoobodynohoooo, Wih GUNS HIDDEN UNDER OUR peh ee coh, Mmmmm, wenebagonaquiddi nuuu wenebagonaquidi NO. Ye, WE DRESSED IN BLACK FROM HEAD TO TOE, WE GOT GUNS HIDDEN UNDER OUR peh ee coh, Nuuu, wenebagonaquiddi nuu wenebagonaquidi no.

Well I think we bedda OH, Siri asly bedda OH, Seda beta ihyuh no, Siri asly bedda Oohohoh, Well I think we bedda OH, Seda fetsa eeru no, Siri feck a bedda no, Siri asly bedda OOooh……..

Asedduwee. Go. Anoobodynohoooo, Wih GUNS HIDDEN UNDER OUR peh ee coh, Mmmmm, wenebagonaquiddi nuuu wenebagonaquidi NO. Ye, WE DRESSED IN BLACK FROM HEAD TO TOE, WE GOT GUNS HIDDEN UNDER OUR peh ee coh, Nuuu, wenebagonaquiddi nuu wenebagonaquidi no. NO. no. NO..

(MINDLESS HOLLERING IN THE BACKGROUND) Well I think we bedda OH, Siri asly bedda OH, Seda beta ihyuh no, Siri asly bedda Oohohoh, Well I think we bedda OH, Seda fetsa eeru no, Siri feck a bedda no, Siri asly bedda OOooh……..

(i have never looked at the official lyrics and i never will… i want to preserve the magic…)

[healmematty]

iconic

[straightboyfriend]

fake deep posts are like

you like seashells but you wouldn’t eat sand or fuck the ocean

[cornflakepizza]

[pleasefireme]

Please fire me. I work at McDonald’s and last week I spent 15 minutes trying to explain to an old man they we do not sell hot dogs (McDogs as he claimed it) then he threatened to report me for “withholding products from him”!

[sinbadism]

hes from an alternate timeline

[cuttlefishlovr]

the McDogs man actually proves the multiverse theory

[tymps2005-deactivated20140827]

if your BAC is over 0.6% you die