excuse me how rude

on AUGUST 15TH, 2010, a YOUNG MAN set out on his GAP YEAR. probably quite sadly, he NEVER RETURNED. less sadly, he can lay claim to not being DEAD yet. your name is DAVE 'ENCHILADAS' SCRIPPS (yes, that is a legitimate surname) and you are TWENTY YEARS OLD. you have an aptitude with SWORDS and the FIDDLE. almost TWO YEARS ago, you packed your stuff up and jumped ship out of sweet home LIBERTY (INDIANA). you had big plans for TRAVELLING THE WORLD, but in reality you never got further than that one time you accidentally stowed away to HAWAII. however, your life has been far from UNEVENTFUL.at some point or other, you fell in with some of the 'BAD GUYS', fell for ONE OF THEM, and mostly likely fell out with the OTHER TWO. (they're okay, really.) along the way, you became semi addicted to HERBAL ESSENCES, almost APPLIED for a job at MCDONALDS, and got FREE CATFOOD for shopping with MAU5HEAD on. you currently live with your FIANCÉE and his TWO CATS (and a GUINEA PIG called CHEETO) in a not-the-best apartment, but that's all gonna CHANGE VERY SOON, you are sure of it. what will you do?

[rhetoricironic-blog]

anyway this account is now defunct and i suggest you unfollow when you see this before it becomes a will graham account

[rhetoricironic-blog]

what the fuck is going on here

[intropleasure-fitzspection-deac]

[rhetoricironic-blog]

no no it is not liquid soap do you think i would waste liquid soap on other people who are not twain and maybe daryll but only when he needs a good fucking hard scrub (and a good fucking hard something else too mm mm) (haha ha)

no i promise you its a smoothie 

[one-eyed-royal]

(Oh my.)

No, it smells clinical. Like hospital goo or something. I don’t want to accidentally ingest hospital goo.

[rhetoricironic-blog]

eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it 

[rhetoricironic-blog]

shhhhhh shhhhh its on its way i expect the soap to turn up by monday

[one-eyed-royal]

…:(

[rhetoricironic-blog]

what what 

[one-eyed-royal]

This is not sugar.

[rhetoricironic-blog]

its a smoothie theyre meant to be healthy okay gobble that shit up 

[soapea-blog]

[quesadiyas]

[rhetoricironic-blog]

shhhhhh shhhhh its on its way i expect the soap to turn up by monday

[one-eyed-royal]

…:(

[rhetoricironic-blog]

what what 

[rhetoricironic-blog]

ohoho wouldnt you like that

well ive uh got one here its blue and it tastes alright im gonna send it to you just whack it in the fridge for a little while okay

[one-eyed-royal]

People. Sending me food. What kind of magical, wonderful universe I have accidentally fallen into is this. I am beside myself with joy at the prospect of weird sugar. You don’t even know, Scripps.

If it arrives whole, I’m going to send you cutely shaped soap.

[rhetoricironic-blog]

shhhhhh shhhhh its on its way i expect the soap to turn up by monday

[one-eyed-royal]

Imagine us exchanging internet kisses. Without your dry, slightly hurtful wit, my dashboard was more bland than Sasha’s Russian meals.

[rhetoricironic-blog]

slightly hurtful but always clean is how i roll mm mmm shhh dont worry im back now

hey wanna try a smoothie 

[one-eyed-royal]

I could never imagine you being dirty.

And.. I… guess?

[rhetoricironic-blog]

ohoho wouldnt you like that

well ive uh got one here its blue and it tastes alright im gonna send it to you just whack it in the fridge for a little while okay

[whata-drag]

[lorainebroughtons-deactivated20]

[one-eyed-royal]

I missed you like a bath without soap. A cookie without sugar. A sound system with the front speakers out.

And yes. Yes I am.

[rhetoricironic-blog]

awwwwwwww if i wasnt engaged id smooch you for your kindness missed me much 

[one-eyed-royal]

Imagine us exchanging internet kisses. Without your dry, slightly hurtful wit, my dashboard was more bland than Sasha’s Russian meals.

[rhetoricironic-blog]

slightly hurtful but always clean is how i roll mm mmm shhh dont worry im back now

hey wanna try a smoothie 

[one-eyed-royal]

rhetoricironic replied to your post: i tried that clorox stuff and it wasnt yummy at all! you lied to me!!

well puke on you

!!!

Welcome back, Scripps. I missed you.

[rhetoricironic-blog]

did you miss me like you miss the bloody crust of a scab

hey you called me scripps are you being nice to me again mm mm

[one-eyed-royal]

I missed you like a bath without soap. A cookie without sugar. A sound system with the front speakers out.

And yes. Yes I am.

[rhetoricironic-blog]

awwwwwwww if i wasnt engaged id smooch you for your kindness missed me much 

[one-eyed-royal]

rhetoricironic replied to your post: i tried that clorox stuff and it wasnt yummy at all! you lied to me!!

well puke on you

!!!

Welcome back, Scripps. I missed you.

[rhetoricironic-blog]

did you miss me like you miss the bloody crust of a scab

hey you called me scripps are you being nice to me again mm mm

[rhetoricironic-blog]

the bathroom smells of sick and blood

i really want a bath but i cant stand the smell

[retroarama]