Serendipity

Ria Ayu Mirza Soft enough to write poetry 🎀 unhinged enough to set the plot on fire ✨

[riaayumirza]

Scarlet Fever: Fever Dream

Episode 2:

Fever Dream

We had just arrived at the hotel, hours after a long, delayed flight.

I was unpacking my suitcase near the tall glass window, the city lights below blurring in the misty distance.

“Baby… I think I got a little fever,” I mumbled, fingertips grazing my temple. “I think I need to rest…”

He walked over quietly and placed the back of his hand on my forehead, eyes narrowing with concern.

“Yeah… you are hot,” he said softly, and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

Then he cupped my face gently, searching my eyes—his brow still knit with worry. But I looked back at him, heat rising in more ways than one. We both knew. Whatever was burning in me wasn’t just a fever.

He saw it. That hunger in my gaze. The kind that said: I’m not too sick for this… I want you. That’s when the corner of his lips curled into a slow, dangerous smirk.

“Yes baby… you are hot,” he whispered, “I almost couldn’t handle it back on the airplane.”

I didn’t reply. I just reached up and started unbuttoning his shirt. He turned me gently—spun me so my front pressed against the cold window. My fevered skin met the glass. His chest met my back.

I caught our reflection. His arms wrapped around me, holding my chest, my hips, my shoulders. My breath fogging the window. The city watching us burn.

He kissed down my neck, voice rough in my ear.

“But baby… you have a fever… You need to rest. And maybe… a little sweat.”

“I know, baby,” I whispered. “Can you give me a little sweat?”

He undressed me slowly, reverently.

“Baby…” I shivered. “I’m so cold. Please. I need your body heating mine. Don’t go far…”

“I’m right here,” he murmured. “Not going anywhere.”

Then he laid against me—skin to skin, chest to back, heat against heat— and moved with the kind of hunger that doesn’t ask, doesn’t wait.

He devoured me like I was the cure for his thirst. And when we finished, he held me like glass, tucked me into bed with a touch so careful… as if he was still worried about the fever.

He slipped under the covers with me, wrapping his arms around my body from behind. Warm, steady, solid.

“You have to rest now,” he whispered against my hair, his voice soft but firm.

Then he turned my face gently toward him and kissed my lips— slow, lingering, like a promise that he’d stay right there… until the fever passed.

[riaayumirza]

Scarlet Fever: Ink Under Skin

Episode 1: Ink Under Skin

Rain pressed softly against the windows, blurring the city into streaks of light. The room was dim, lit only by the TV and the occasional flash of headlights outside.

You sat close. Not touching, but close enough to feel his warmth. The movie played on, forgotten, dialogue melting into background noise.

Your eyes kept drifting back to his arm.

“Can I ask you something?” you said casually, though your voice softened at the end.

He glanced at you. “Hmm?”

“Your tattoo,” you nodded toward his shoulder. “What does it mean?”

For a second, he hesitated. Then he smiled, slow, almost amused.

“This one?” He tugged at the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head, the fabric disappearing somewhere behind him.

Your breath caught before you could stop it.

The tattoo curved along his upper arm and shoulder, dark lines following the shape of muscle and bone. Closer now, you could see the details—the parts that faded, the parts that pressed deeper into skin.

He started explaining. Where it came from. Why he chose it. What it marked.

You reached out without thinking.

Your fingers traced the edge of the ink, warm skin beneath, a quiet electricity humming where you touched him. He stopped talking mid-sentence.

His eyes dropped to your hand. Then lifted to your face.

“Careful,” he murmured.

“Why?” you asked softly.

“Because if you keep touching me like that…”

He didn’t finish the sentence.

You leaned in instead.

The kiss wasn’t rushed. It was slow, deliberate—like both of you were testing how far the night wanted to go. His hand slid to your waist, pulling you closer, the heat between you rising in waves.

Outside, the rain fell harder. Inside, the air felt thick, charged.

You broke the kiss just enough to smile.

“So,” you whispered, fingers still resting over his tattoo, “tell me about the rest.”

He laughed under his breath, forehead resting against yours.

“That,” he said, “might take the whole night.”

And this time, the movie kept playing, unwatched, unheard, as scarlet quietly filled the room.

[riaayumirza]

Why I Created This: Scarlet Fever

#5 Scarlet Fever

I created Scarlet Fever because I wanted to write intimacy without crossing into something explicit or dirty.

I wanted stories that feel close. Breath-close. Skin-close. Stories where two people are so focused on each other that the world naturally fades into the background.

Scarlet Fever is not about sex for shock value. It’s about desire that feels intentional. About passion that lingers instead of explodes. About wanting someone—and being wanted back—without having to spell everything out.

At the same time, I also write Soft Daydreams.

Those stories live in a different temperature. They’re gentle, domestic, quiet. Late-night snacks. Shared books. Warm shoulders. Safe silences.

And somewhere along the way, I realized something important:

A relationship doesn’t survive on softness alone. And it doesn’t survive on passion alone either.

It needs both.

Soft Daydream and Scarlet Fever are two sides of the same coin. One is tenderness. The other is heat.

One is safety. The other is hunger.

Both are forms of intimacy. Both are necessary to make love feel whole.

So I write Scarlet Fever not to be explicit, but to be honest. To explore closeness, tension, and desire in a way that still feels human, focused, and intentional.

If Soft Daydream is about building a home together, then Scarlet Fever is about remembering why you chose each other in the first place.

And I think love deserves both. Read Soft Daydreams here Read Scarlet Fever here

[riaayumirza]

Soft Daydreams: The Scarf on His Neck

Episode 4: The Scarf on His Neck

The mountain air was crisp, biting at your cheeks as you stood among the bustling crowd of tourists. The view stretched before you—endless green peaks dusted with mist, a landscape almost too beautiful to be real.

He stood just behind you, his arms suddenly wrapping around your waist. His touch startled you—not because you minded, but because his fingers were ice cold.

“Gosh,” you said, your body jolting slightly. “Your hands are freezing. Are you cold?”

He shrugged nonchalantly, but the pink on his ears betrayed him. You turned around to face him, unwrapping your heavy scarf and draping it over his neck.

“Here,” you murmured, tugging the scarf’s ends to pull his face closer. His smile widened, cheeks flushing as you adjusted it snugly around him.

For a moment, it was just the two of you, the world fading into a gentle hum. His gaze was so warm, you almost forgot the chill in the air. He leaned in slightly, his lips nearly brushing yours—

Click.

The sound of a camera snapped you out of the moment. You laughed, turning back to the view as a few tourists smirked in your direction.

He didn’t let you go, though. Instead, he pulled you even closer, arms still wrapped around your waist. Smiling to yourself, you tugged the scarf behind you, pulling him closer to you.

“Stop looking at me,” you teased, glancing over your shoulder at him.

“Stop looking at me,” he shot back, leaning down to kiss the top of your head.

You laughed, shaking your head as you reached for the scarf again. This time, you tied it gently around both of your necks, linking the two of you together.

“Now you can’t get away,” you said, leaning back against his chest.

“Wasn’t planning to,” he murmured, resting his chin on your head.

And just like that, the crowd and the cold didn’t matter anymore. It was just you, him, and the mountains holding your quiet little moment together.

[riaayumirza]

Life Lately, Saturday - 3 Jan 2026

The past few weeks have been about slowing down after a year that quietly exhausted me.

I resigned from my job, adjusted my medication with my psychiatrist, and started feeling again — not always comfortably, but more alive.

Right now I’m staying with my family in Bekasi, letting myself rest without guilt. Most days are simple: sleeping, eating, reading stories, listening to the noise of my nieces, and reminding my nervous system that “safe” doesn’t always mean “exciting.”

I haven’t applied for new jobs yet. I’m choosing recovery before productivity — even when it makes me feel useless sometimes. I’m learning that rest is not failure; it’s repair.

There’s a trip to China coming up in February. I’m excited and scared at the same time — cold weather, unfamiliar places, kids in the group, and uncertainty… but also the possibility of wonder.

I’m writing again, slowly. Revisiting old stories like Soft Daydream and Scarlet Fever — remembering that warmth and desire once flowed easily through me, and trusting that they will again.

Right now, my life is quiet — a little boring, a little messy, but safe. And for this season, that’s enough.

[riaayumirza]

A Letter to the Girl Who Loved Quietly

dear me from three years ago, you were in love — not with perfection, but with warmth. you held onto every look, every small laugh, every touch that made you feel seen. and you needed that. it wasn’t wrong to crave comfort when the world felt cold.

thank you for being brave enough to feel it all, even when it hurt, even when it couldn’t last. because of you, i learned that love doesn’t always stay — but the warmth it leaves behind does.

you don’t have to wait by the door anymore. you can still keep the softness, the tenderness, the way your heart opens easily. you just don’t have to tie it to a name, or a face, or a moment that’s already passed.

tonight, breathe. you’re not missing anyone — you’re just remembering the parts of yourself that once felt alive. and they’re still here, with you. always have been.

[riaayumirza]

To the Ones I Miss

Hai Mas A dan Hai Kak E,

you know i miss you so much. so much. if you knock on my door right now, i would just fall into your hug and cry — the kind of cry that says i’m tired but i’m home.

sometimes i think maybe i don’t need to say goodbye. maybe i just need to accept that you were here, once, and you made me feel safe, warm, and seen. and maybe that’s enough.

i still keep the space you left in me — not as a wound, but as a quiet room filled with memories. a place i visit sometimes when i miss how it felt to be held and understood.

i know life moves on, and we all find new warmths, new arms, new stories. but if you ever left your scarf in my room, it’s okay — my door’s open. not waiting, just welcoming.

thank you for being part of a phase where i remembered what tenderness felt like.

[riaayumirza]

Poem #9: me and people

Poem #9: me and people

[riaayumirza]

Last Day at SSNAPP

Today feels like rolling credits. Faces keep replaying in my head, but instead of haunting me, I want to archive them softly. So here’s my messy little thank-you note:

🌸 Thank you, Kak Egi — for dragging me out of tea hell, for giving me insights outside work, for being the marble man who somehow held me together when I was cracking. I even left him my spare key in case I die in my room (he looked so shocked — not sure if he’ll keep it 😂).

🌸 Thank you, Pak Daus — for the laughs, the wise advices, random trakhiran, and the craziest giggles that made even the worst days lighter.

🌸 Thank you, Mas Adri — for being guidance, for taking care of little things I never noticed, and for making me laugh in between chaos.

🌸 Thank you, Mas Firman — for helping me with my laptop and all the tiny favors that felt huge in the moment.

That’s it. My thank-yous. My little archive. Not an ending, just a season finale.

[riaayumirza]

Clean Slate & Soft Pink Marble Man

So, the universe just snatched my business WhatsApp number. Gone. Burnt. Telkomsel recycled it in the middle of the night like expired milk. Some random guy bought it for 50k, tried to resell it to me for 100k. Sir, please. I offered 70k, he said no, then came back begging for 70k anyway. I ghosted. Greed never wins.

So yes, I lost every chat, every group, every little archive of chaos. But baby… maybe this is my Clean Slate Era. New number, new energy. People who matter will find me, and the rest? Let it fade. ✨

And just as my digital past evaporates, my real life plot twist arrives: the soft pink marble man. Yes, him. We finally had a long talk—not boss to employee, but human to human. He gave me so much insight for Scenario 2 (my retail dream), sharing stories and theories like some Bandung philosopher with sneakers.

The sweetest part? Me: “Aku udah bilang kan, aku mau jadi temen kamu. Kontraknya selesai, aku gamau bos-bosan. Aku mau jadi temen kamu.” Him (laughing, avoiding my eyes): “Iya kenapa sih semua orang yg jadi karyawan gw, udah beres, gamau jadi temen gw hahahaha.” Me: “Ya kenapa sih kalo aku nanya personal gini kamu bisa jelasin panjang lebar dengan baik, tapi kalo aku nanya kerjaan, kamu ga gini?” Him (still no eye contact): “Ya kan itu perspektif kamu aja.” Me: “Janji yaa jadi temen aku? Kalo aku chat, dibales yaa!” Him: “Siapppp.”

Cue my heart melting like burnt cooking pot. 🥹

Later, I texted him about his “segitiga barudak theory” and said thank you. He replied with laugh emojis and another “siap.”

So here I am: no old number, no old chats, no old boss. Just a clean slate, a new number, and maybe… a soft pink marble friend. 🌸

[riaayumirza]

Baby, everything feels so hazy, and I’m overwhelmed again

Short Diary

Baby, everything feels so hazy, and I’m overwhelmed again. I think I need to slow down. I want to recover, to feel light again. I don’t want to get sick.

But oh, life has been so much fun lately ✨ My new motto? "Serendipity in random side quests." I’ve met new people, crossed paths with familiar faces from the past, and even started learning tarot cards. It’s exciting—but also a little overwhelming.

Apparently, this week’s challenge (according to tarot) is facing love—or something like that. And honestly? I’m terrified. The cards say I just have to surrender and trust the universe. But... does the universe even know that I trust it?

I want to remember all the good things. The kindness in people. The warmth in moments. Maybe that’s why I forget so much—because everything overlaps, blending into each other like a dreamy blur. But I still want to write.

My therapist (Olivia) says writing is how I channel my inner world, a way to release everything in my mind and heart. Otherwise, my body takes the weight, and eventually, it breaks. Isn’t that fascinating? That I don’t need to know what to believe—I just do what feels right.

Okay, bye baby. See you in the next diary? 💌

[riaayumirza]

isn't it poetic that i'm gonna die alone thinking i don't deserve to be loved 🤗

[riaayumirza]

Cozy Kind of Day – February Edition

Eps. 4: Recovery & Sweet Chaos

✨ Theme: Gentle Healing & Sweet Escapes This week is all about resting my tummy (GERD, you will NOT win 😤), gentle activities, sweet little treats, and finding peace in the chaos. It’s a full-week journey of healing and fun with a side of creative sparks and cute outings.

👜 Properties to Prep:

Monday/Tuesday: Cozy blanket, tummy-soothing tea, journal, and creative project supplies

Wednesday: Dentist appointment details, stress-relief playlist, and post-dentist snacks (soft, soothing food—nothing crunchy!)

Thursday: Rest essentials: PJs, tea, book, and a soft playlist

Friday: Date outfit (solo or otherwise 😏), and a dessert or two because I deserve it!

Saturday: Salon appointment details, library book (hoping I’m not still in book jail 🤞), and comfy tote bag for a new book if I’m lucky

Sunday: Journal class supplies, house chore playlist, and cleaning gear

👗 Dress Code:

Monday/Tuesday: Soft and cozy (100% healing vibes)

Wednesday: Functional chic (to survive the dentist and look cute afterward)

Thursday: Pajamas (because I can!)

Friday: Date-ready—sweet and fun!

Saturday: Salon & library chic (fresh bangs, fresh books… maybe)

Sunday: Comfy but cute—perfect for journaling and chore-mode

🍜 Food Highlights:

GERD-safe meals all week (nothing spicy or acidic!)—think soothing soups, fiber-packed meals, gentle carbs, and refreshing teas

Friday: Sweetness overload—desserts are my priority

Post-dentist meals: Soft and comforting—Cihapit chicken porridge, maybe? 😂

📅 Activities:

📖 Monday: Recovery Mode

Nausea & tummy pain recovery day—100% rest and slow vibes

Book and gentle entertainment for light distraction

Softly plan my upcoming essay on desire—no pressure, just a loose brainstorm

🎨 Tuesday: Creative Sparks & Healing

Still in recovery mode but ready to ease back into creative sessions

Gentle work on Roller Coaster Tycoon—updating and decorating my theme park! 🎢✨

Read some stories on Choices (sweet escape vibes)

🦷 Wednesday: Dentist & Nerves

Morning: Scaling appointment (praying for smooth sailing 😬)

Afternoon: Soft recovery—treat myself gently post-appointment

Maybe reward myself with a little reading or slow brainstorming session for my essay

Ease into finishing my book from the library—determined to return it on time!

😴 Thursday: Total Relaxation

Full day of rest, reading, journaling, and light Roller Coaster Tycoon gameplay

Absolutely no responsibilities allowed 😂

If I feel up for it, I might write something or create a light post—if not, no worries!

🍫 Friday: Date Day (With Dessert!)

Whether it’s a solo date or not, the focus is sweetness—literally

Fancy desserts are calling my name, and I’m ready to answer

If inspiration strikes, I might work on the essay

📚 Saturday: Bangs & Books

Morning: Salon appointment (fresh bangs!)

Afternoon: Library trip—if I’m out of book jail, new book adventure! If not, oh well 😅

Maybe a fun little post to share about the library or fresh bang glow-up

📝 Sunday: Journaling & Chores

Journaling class (so fun!)

Afternoon: House chores to music—tidying the laundry piles like a domestic goddess 😂

Soft creative session—either work on my theme park, essay, or a little creative post

💭 Mantra: “My healing is gentle but steady. I honor my pace, and sweet moments are my reward.”

🎶 Playlist: Soft, calming tunes for the healing days, and upbeat vibes for Friday and Sunday’s adventures.

✨ Closing Note: This week is a dance between healing and sweet chaos, and I’m here for it! I’m taking it slow, being gentle with myself, and embracing creativity and dessert along the way. And yes, GERD may be my enemy, but I’m still thriving 😏.

P.S.: Dentist nerves and book jail aside, dessert and fresh bangs make everything better, right?! 😂

[riaayumirza]

Fresh Bangs, Library Cards, and the Eerie Lady in the Lobby

Cozy Kind of Day – February Edition Eps. 3

Last Saturday was a fun day for me. ✨

First, I got a fresh set of bangs. ✂️ Like clockwork (because I have to cut my bangs every three weeks—or two, if my hair is in healthy proper condition). My usual hairdresser wasn’t there, and before I even said anything, the cashier looked at me with this kind of worried sympathy and softly said, “He’s not coming to the salon today.”

…Like they thought I’d be disappointed and sad. (And honestly? They were right. I was sad. That’s my pony cut specialist!)

So, I had to put my trust (and my precious pony/bangs/lifeline) in not my usual hairdresser. The stakes were HIGH. I was nervous, but I tried not to show it—because I didn’t want to make him nervous. (But he knew I was nervous. And I knew that he knew I was nervous. So… yeah. Funny and kinda cute moment.)

But guess what? The new hairdresser delivered. My bangs? Perfect. Crisis? Averted. Ego? Restored.

Feeling invincible, I finally visited the library near my home! I’d been meaning to go for ages, but, you know… schedule and life. Anyway, I marched in, got myself a shiny new library card (for free!! I love free things!!), and soaked in the cozy atmosphere. The place is so nice—comfy seating, quiet corners, and plenty of space to read, write, or pretend I’m a mysterious author working on my next masterpiece.

But. BUT.

There was this one lady in the lobby who sounded like… a guardian of something ancient and powerful. Her voice? Ominous. Eerie. The kind of unsettling that makes you question if you accidentally walked into a sacred treasure vault. For a second, I thought she was guarding gold or something here.

See, I didn’t know that you have to store your belongings in a locker before entering the reading room. And out of nowhere, she shouted from across the room—

“BAG!!”

I swear my soul left my body. It was the exact same energy as when you step into the forbidden forest and suddenly hear a ghostly voice whisper—“LEAVE.” As a smart person, I would normally run. So I did. (A dignified speed-walk. Same thing.)

Other than her, the whole experience was lovely. The staff was friendly, and I felt so at peace wandering through the bookshelves. Tbh, I can’t afford to chill at cafes or malls as often anymore, so the library might just become my new favorite hangout spot. It’s free, it’s quiet, and I can sit there for hours without feeling guilty about not buying a chocolate drink. A win.

I ended up borrowing three books (which I now must finish by next Saturday—send help). Can I do it? Will I thrive, or will I crumble under my own ambitious reading goals? Stay tuned. 📚✨

Oh, oh—AND THAT LADY? She’s at the return counter in front of the elevator. So when I have to return my books… I have to face her again. Bro, she makes me more nervous than if I had to meet the head of the military or something. 😭

[riaayumirza]

Cozy Kind of Day – February Edition

Eps. 2: Rest & Rejuvenation (With a Side of Hustle)

💛 Theme: Cozy Recharge & Gentle Preparation a weekend dedicated to restful moments, nourishing your body, and taking time to recharge—while also gearing up for an all-day project on Sunday. A balance of self-care, creativity, and mindful energy management

Properties to Prep: • Friday Essentials: Book from the library, cozy blanket, warm drink • Saturday Essentials: Massage appointment details, comfy clothes, hair care essentials • Sunday Essentials: Outfit for the shoot, water bottle, snacks, journal, book, medicine, spare t-shirt, and possibly a laptop (if the location has WiFi!)

Dress Code: • Friday: Cozy and soft (perfect for unwinding and getting lost in a book) • Saturday: Relaxed casual (for your massage and post-self-care glow) • Sunday: Functional & comfy (for a full day on set—practical but still cute!)

Food Highlights: • Friday: Fiber-packed meals like gado-gado or a refreshing juice mix (pineapple, lemon, pakcoy—good for digestion and energy!) • Saturday: Light and nutritious—something fresh and hydrating post-massage • Sunday: Easy, high-energy snacks + comforting meals to keep you fueled for the long shoot

Activities: 📖 Friday: - A slow, cozy night—reading, resting, and enjoying a peaceful moment - No pressure, just soft vibes and gentle self-care 🧖‍♀️ Saturday: - Morning: Full relaxation mode—massage time! - Afternoon: Shower, wash your hair, and refresh yourself - Evening: Creative session or more reading—whatever feels right in the moment - Will my mind be running at 100km/h while I’m supposed to be relaxing? Probably 🎬 Sunday: - Dawn to Midnight: Full-day office production project (consumption division) - Bring a book and journal—if the location allows, maybe sneak in some quiet writing time - If there’s WiFi, maybe even work on a creative project in between tasks - Stay hydrated, pace your energy, and take little breaks when you can!

Mantra: “I balance rest and movement with ease. My energy flows where it’s needed”

Playlist: Soft instrumental music or calming tunes for Friday & Saturday. Something light & steady for Sunday’s long hours

Closing Note: Balancing rest with a full production day is cute, but I got this. I’m taking care of myself while stepping into new experiences. Also, there's food! I can't say no to food! 😂 I need this massage like dough needs to be kneaded💆‍♀️ And of course, food at the shoot! That’s my only responsibility, and I take it very seriously 🍽️

[riaayumirza]

Cozy Kind of Day – February Edition

Eps. 1: Soft Start & A Burst of Energy

Theme: Mix of Whirlwind Energy ✨ A weekend of gentle resets, creative sparks, and a whirlwind of activity. A mix of slow moments, deep thoughts, and unexpected bursts of energy.

Properties to Prep: • Library essentials: Tote bag, library card, journal. • Sunday Project essentials: Outfit, water bottle, snacks, power bank. • Comfort items: Soft blanket, tea, playlist for decompressing.

Dress Code: • Friday: Cozy and soft (for slow moments & emotional release). • Saturday: Chic & refreshed (because new bangs energy! ✂️✨). • Sunday: Functional & comfy (early morning work mode).

Food Highlights: • Friday: Random meals fueled by emotions & philosophical thoughts 😂 • Saturday: Ayam geprek for a spicy mood booster 🌶️ • Sunday: Whatever survives the post-event exhaustion. Probably something easy & comforting.

Activities: Friday: - Slow & introspective - Work at an easy pace, deep conversations, and emotional release before bed. Saturday: - A perfect balance - Freshening up at the salon, a library adventure, and a night of planning, organizing, and little bursts of creative energy. Sunday: - Action mode - Waking up before sunrise (🫠), handling wardrobe for the project, then crashing post-event - The rest of the day? A mystery - Maybe a nap, a book, or a sudden creative explosion at night (because that’s so you). 😂

Mantra: “I move at my own pace, and everything falls into place.”

Playlist: Energy Boost kinda-music

Closing Note: I love this weekend is full of little things that are new to me. visiting library and going on project with new people. love it! meet so many people are so fun until my social battery kinda run out and I crashed out again (in the best way!)

[riaayumirza]

Today was a surprisingly nice and cozy day 🌿

Of course, knowing me, there had to be a little twisted chaos along the way (what’s life without a bit of mischief? 😂). But overall, today was warm, productive, and kind to me.

me and my first tried of this food called Pentol

I think I deserve this. I deserve happiness, abundance, and whatever good things the tarot lady said💫 Here’s to more of this energy, please and thank you, universe. 🤗🎀