#somethingaboutme

[allaboutclarisse]

Something About Clarisse

I am Clarisse Anne but you can call me "Clare" for short. My friends call me that or just my first name. I cannot disclose my age for privacy reasons but I am already in college. I am pursuing Bachelor of Science in Accountancy studying at Sacred Heart College. I am the youngest in our family and the only girl from my siblings. I have 3 brothers and my mom and dad are already senior citizens. My hobbies are playing the ukulele, reading novels, mobile gaming, and playing with my pet. I have one dog and I love him so much. I also like to dance and sing, although I'm not that great at it. My favorite color is anything but make it pastel. Also, I like to watch movies and series in my free time, be it ghibli, animated, slice of life, or anything. Series that I particularly like are Gilmore Girls, Modern Family, Bridgerton, Anne With An E, and many more. I also like reading manhuas, but right now I do not have the time. I actually like the subject science, particularly the branch of chemistry and biology. Probably because of my teachers back in SHS who made the subject more fun. My favorite food is pizza and my favorite drink is milktea. Kind of common but I really love it and makes my mood happy. That's all I can think about me, for now.

[whereisdmtcr]

11/12/17

Okay, d’accordo, ammetto di aver perso, ho perso tutto, fede, amore e fiducia nelle persone; non saprei ora dedurre da cosa sia derivato tutto ciò sinceramente non voglio proprio saperlo, anzi a dire il vero penso di saperlo eccome.

A volte so di fare veramente lo stronzo, la mia figura materna mi ha fatto così, però non è ciò che voglio essere...

Io mi impegno per far in modo che le cose funzionino ma c’è sempre il mio essere stronzo che manda tutto a puttane, come con gli amici, ex fidanzate in generale ecc ecc.

Insomma non so perché sto a scrivere ste cazzate su un blog che nessuno mai leggerà (meglio così comunque), ma non è cosa da me, non sono mai riuscito ad essere dolce con le persone e nel momento in cui riesco a trovare una ragazza che sembra giusta per me mando tutto a puttane.

Sinceramente io odio trovarne una in discoteca e farmela, anche se ultimamente è così, alla fine è una distrazione, finisci per fartela è il giorno dopo non sai neanche chi sia.

Io sono per un vecchio stile, lo so che ormai è difficile, se non impossibile, trovare la ragazza che si innamora davanti an un bicchiere di whisky, una sigaretta e un vinile dei Beatles del ‘60, ma davvero, dio solo sa se ne troverò una così, ma se sarà così chiedo solo una cosa per il mio futuro senza speranza...

La gelosia ormai è una stupida sensazione che ho eliminato dalla mia precedente relazione.

Quello che vorrei è di non essere uno stronzo; alla fine farei di tutto per una ragazza, e io credo che ogni ragazza possa avere qualcosa di straordinario: un sorriso, una curva o un desiderio nascosto.

È un po’ presto per i propositi del 2018 ma l’unica cosa che voglio ora è di non essere uno stronzo e darò tutto me stesso per non esserlo e per trovarmi una ragazza “whisky e Beatles”.

È tutto ciò che voglio.

Fine. E fanculo alla convenzione.

Mi hai solo creato problemi.

Mi odio davvero ora ma so che non me ne pentirò, come l’ultima stronzata fatta.

Buon 2018 del cazzo a tutti in anticipo.

[riaayumirza]

Why I Created This: Scarlet Fever

#5 Scarlet Fever

I created Scarlet Fever because I wanted to write intimacy without crossing into something explicit or dirty.

I wanted stories that feel close. Breath-close. Skin-close. Stories where two people are so focused on each other that the world naturally fades into the background.

Scarlet Fever is not about sex for shock value. It’s about desire that feels intentional. About passion that lingers instead of explodes. About wanting someone—and being wanted back—without having to spell everything out.

At the same time, I also write Soft Daydreams.

Those stories live in a different temperature. They’re gentle, domestic, quiet. Late-night snacks. Shared books. Warm shoulders. Safe silences.

And somewhere along the way, I realized something important:

A relationship doesn’t survive on softness alone. And it doesn’t survive on passion alone either.

It needs both.

Soft Daydream and Scarlet Fever are two sides of the same coin. One is tenderness. The other is heat.

One is safety. The other is hunger.

Both are forms of intimacy. Both are necessary to make love feel whole.

So I write Scarlet Fever not to be explicit, but to be honest. To explore closeness, tension, and desire in a way that still feels human, focused, and intentional.

If Soft Daydream is about building a home together, then Scarlet Fever is about remembering why you chose each other in the first place.

And I think love deserves both. Read Soft Daydreams here Read Scarlet Fever here

[riaayumirza]

Life Lately, Saturday - 3 Jan 2026

The past few weeks have been about slowing down after a year that quietly exhausted me.

I resigned from my job, adjusted my medication with my psychiatrist, and started feeling again — not always comfortably, but more alive.

Right now I’m staying with my family in Bekasi, letting myself rest without guilt. Most days are simple: sleeping, eating, reading stories, listening to the noise of my nieces, and reminding my nervous system that “safe” doesn’t always mean “exciting.”

I haven’t applied for new jobs yet. I’m choosing recovery before productivity — even when it makes me feel useless sometimes. I’m learning that rest is not failure; it’s repair.

There’s a trip to China coming up in February. I’m excited and scared at the same time — cold weather, unfamiliar places, kids in the group, and uncertainty… but also the possibility of wonder.

I’m writing again, slowly. Revisiting old stories like Soft Daydream and Scarlet Fever — remembering that warmth and desire once flowed easily through me, and trusting that they will again.

Right now, my life is quiet — a little boring, a little messy, but safe. And for this season, that’s enough.

[daughterdeer]

my stomach hurts all the time and i'm done being overweight by 0.1lbs. and everyone is nice to me and wants to be my friend and what i want is to sit upright in class without wanting to puke

[riaayumirza]

A Letter to the Girl Who Loved Quietly

dear me from three years ago, you were in love — not with perfection, but with warmth. you held onto every look, every small laugh, every touch that made you feel seen. and you needed that. it wasn’t wrong to crave comfort when the world felt cold.

thank you for being brave enough to feel it all, even when it hurt, even when it couldn’t last. because of you, i learned that love doesn’t always stay — but the warmth it leaves behind does.

you don’t have to wait by the door anymore. you can still keep the softness, the tenderness, the way your heart opens easily. you just don’t have to tie it to a name, or a face, or a moment that’s already passed.

tonight, breathe. you’re not missing anyone — you’re just remembering the parts of yourself that once felt alive. and they’re still here, with you. always have been.

[riaayumirza]

To the Ones I Miss

Hai Mas A dan Hai Kak E,

you know i miss you so much. so much. if you knock on my door right now, i would just fall into your hug and cry — the kind of cry that says i’m tired but i’m home.

sometimes i think maybe i don’t need to say goodbye. maybe i just need to accept that you were here, once, and you made me feel safe, warm, and seen. and maybe that’s enough.

i still keep the space you left in me — not as a wound, but as a quiet room filled with memories. a place i visit sometimes when i miss how it felt to be held and understood.

i know life moves on, and we all find new warmths, new arms, new stories. but if you ever left your scarf in my room, it’s okay — my door’s open. not waiting, just welcoming.

thank you for being part of a phase where i remembered what tenderness felt like.

[riaayumirza]

Poem #9: me and people

Poem #9: me and people