i was in the club alone, the music was good, and i found a nice parking spot.
i thought i was fearless,
but i def have social anxiety
im accustomed to exposure therapy, and today was a step because i wanted to go, but i def didn’t want to go alone
i did it anyway, i was just awkward but it is what it is
and while i am socially awkward, and not always so inclined to be social
i am taking my time when it comes to interacting with groups while i am alone🤣🤣
i be outnumbered and people have tried to use my solitude against me.
the disingenuous see vulnerability in solitude, whereas i see power. thinking about it this way, the projection is obvious.
they believe i am emotionally weak or vulnerable because i am alone.
because that’s the only way they can even imagine someone feeling if they were in solitudewhen they are alone, you know how they feel.
not to say that just because they try to appeal to a projection of you, during a time of perceived vulnerability is a malicious person, or a social predator. oftentimes it’s subconscious. so i don’t blame anyone, but i dont tolerate it.
i met cool people and to the others who tried to talk to me and maybe i seemed standoffish is because im anxious or i don’t do small talk. i love people and life and that’s why i am trying again to go outside 🤣
at the end of the night i was skating a bit and i met this dude and his girlfriend. both were mad chill and was a good reminder of the potential people and random experiences you can have as you get out of your comfort zone, however tame it may seem to others lol.
like real shit i was anxious the whole night but there were moments when i was able to let go of the thinking and enjoy it, even with eyes on me
areudirty
snowghoul
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