she was just a wish

Rianne Grace Saunders 17 | Junior "When the rain washes you clean, you'll know."

[faustelliotyork-blog]

Maybe a day…two days…

[rianne-saunders]

You're selling yourself short. I bet if you try, you can at least last a week. Do whatever you can to keep yourself distracted. Except for drugs, anything but drugs.

[trav-johnson-deactivated2014061]

You Again || Travis and Rianne

[trav-johnson-deactivated2014061]

[He held the eye contact, scared to even blink in fear that he’d screw something up, again.] Well, the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. [Travis sighed, his pearly teeth caging his lower lip in deep concentration. He didn’t know what she wanted to hear, but he knew she didn’t want empty promises—and he didn’t plan on making any. Freeing his lip, he acquired the courage he so desperately needed, and reached forward for her hand; his tan hand cementing on top of her much paler one.] You’re right you don’t know— you don’t know if I’m going to up and leave again, that you can trust me, or that I’m not just some other scum you’ve already dealt with, but you know what you do know? [His finger made a point towards her chest, referring to her heart.] What you feel and whether or not you want to let yourself go through this with me to answer all these doubts. I’m not rushing you to figure it out now, because I’ve got time and I’m willing to wait forever if necessary, because I think you’re worth it Rianne Saunders and I intend on showing you just how much that worth is.

[rianne-saunders]

[Almost instinctively, Rianne jolted back from the sensation of being touched. Just because she'd sleep with almost anyone if the time was right didn't mean that Travis had the right to touch her when she was vulnerable. In her mind, it was a privilege that he'd have to earn back.] That was incredibly cheesy, I hope that you know that. [The brunette shifted her weight and crossed her legs so that she was more comfortable. Glancing away for a few seconds, she tried to stitch her thoughts together before turning back to him.] You really don't know me all that well and I don't know you. Don't give me some Disney movie lecture and tell me to listen to my heart because if I do that, I'll kick you out in two seconds flat. Don't tell me that you'll wait "forever" or any other bullshit you're trying to feed me. You want me to trust you? Don't fuck up, don't leave, and don't treat me like I'm just a girl to be wooed. [Sitting up a little straighter, she reached out and gently nudged his arm. She made sure that her touch didn't linger too long, almost afraid to keep prolonged contact.] I need time is all, okay?

[faustelliotyork-blog]

I think you might have been mine too.

It’s a freakin’ nightmare.

[rianne-saunders]

I wonder how long we can go without it before we become desperate and find alternative means.

Not a nightmare, I wouldn't take it that far but it's certainly not enjoyable.

[faustelliotyork-blog]

You see him to- oh, you mean me. Yeah… A little bit.

I think it’s like…cabin fever or something, you know?

[rianne-saunders]

Yeah, you. That's what I thought.

I do know, actually. I haven't done anything in a month. You were my last partner. Maybe that's why I'm so irritable and you seem so off lately. 

[trav-johnson-deactivated2014061]

You Again || Travis and Rianne

[trav-johnson-deactivated2014061]

[Travis cussed himself for his choice of words that seemed to upset the girl before him. He walked over to stand in front of her, crouching down to be at eye level with her, his hand running through his unruly hair; a telltale sigh that he was nervous.] Yeah.., you ever find yourself with new shit that you don’t know how to deal with? [His hand inched forward for hers, but he quickly retrieved it, settling for drumming his fingers on his shaky knees instead.] I made a promise to her a few years back; that if I felt what we talked about she’d be the first person I check back with.. [His voice almost cracked talking about his late mother and their old promises. His hand came up to act as a stage for his chin, his eyes piercing through hers.] I’m sorry..

[rianne-saunders]

[Rianne tried to remain attentive as Travis continued to talk. Each word that came out of her mouth, she tried to analyze. It was so hard for her to just let go of everything she was so certain was true -- how could she? How could she just accept that he was being honest with her after just disappearing.] How do I know you're telling the truth? [Her words were much softer than they had been in the minutes before. Finally making eye contact with him, she tried to read what was going on in his mind. In a way, she was looking for any tells that he had, something that would let her know he was lying. There had to have been an easy out, there always was.] I know that you're being honest about seeing her, but how do I know that you're not just going to disappear again? How do I know that I can actually trust you, Travis? Because to be entirely honest, I think you're just another asshole out to use me and walk away. It wouldn't be the first time, it certainly won't be the last.

[natwebber]

I finished my work in record time.

[natwebber]

I can’t just let go that easily - I can go out with you and do whatever it is that you plan on having us do but that doesn’t mean that I won’t be thinking the whole time. It’s not that simple - and I don’t want to just throw everything I believe in out the window just to make people like me. What sort of friends would those be? Well maybe that wasn’t your intention, but still. I’m in 119. Your type of what, wild friend? I’m not, I realize that, I just don’t particularly like being called boring.

[rianne-saunders]

You have to try to let go. You realize that the more you fuss and worry about things, the more wrinkles you get. At least I think that's a thing. You don't have to throw away your beliefs for people to like you, though. Quit being a tattle tail for starters, no one likes a snitch. Then just show off who you are. Whatever personality is hiding behind all of the homework and prissy behavior. No one is going to want to be your friend if you don't make them feel safe, you know. I'll stop by in a bit. Most of my friends aren't "wild" you know. They're just not uptight. It's not fair for you to judge them because you really don't see what goes on. You see shit and feel the need to run and tell people. You might not being boring underneath it all, but they might not be so terrible underneath it all either.

[faustelliotyork-blog]

The whole “use it or lose it" thing, I mean that’s not real…right? That’s not really a thing. You can’t really get sick from not having sex.

I’m asking for a friend.

[rianne-saunders]

I don't think so. Do you get miserable from being deprived of sex? Absolutely. Will you get sick? I highly doubt it.

Let me guess, this "friend" is the man you see in the mirror every day, right? 

[hypereighties-blog]

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From Stevie Nicks 1981 album Bella Donna

[colbywright-jarhead]

All of your boys? You’d be surprised actually. Especially since we all consume a lot of junk.

[rianne-saunders]

Yes, all of them. You, Nathan, Faust, Ezra, Tra-- The people I care about. I'm a sap underneath all of the sarcasm, you know. I'm not going to suffer from an early death because I eat to many sweets, am I?

[kaitymoore]

Who knows. Heaven forbid she touch a drop of alcohol. it really does, I can think of a few things that sound like heaven. I think I had one drink the night of the dance, but nothing really. I’ve got no idea.

[rianne-saunders]

Some people are destined to be boring for the rest of their lives. What things? Please give suggestions because I feel like I haven't done anything fun since we came back from Hawaii. No, you were too busy exchanging glances with some cute guy. At least that's what I remember from it. Eh, who knows. He'll surface sooner or later and hopefully he's just been keeping himself out of trouble and happy.

[natwebber]

I finished my work in record time.

[natwebber]

No. Maybe things are more fun for me when I have control of them. And that’s a terrible thing to say to a person. The students here might not understand me because we don’t have the same goals, but when I’m out there I’ll have plenty of career oriented friends and a nice house and a secure job, this is temporary. I - fine. I’ll give you just one night, I’ll trust you with one night and that’s it. But only if you say that I’m not boring.

[rianne-saunders]

Let your control go, then. I'm not trying to insult you or make you feel bad, I'm telling you the truth. Someone has to because it's rather obvious that no one in your little circle is saying it. Loosen up or you're going to be all alone with more enemies than you know what to do with. This isn't temporary, though. The choices you make determine who you are in the future and that goes much broader than just your grades. Good. What room are you in? Fine. You're not boring, I guess. You're just not my type.

[colbywright-jarhead]

Lots of treats whenever he wants? Lucky fella. Yup, chocolate can. Actually it’s not good for most pets.

[rianne-saunders]

Colby, I treat all of my boys to the very best of things, even the furry ones. What can I say? I love to spoil people. Well, animals in this case. If it's not good for them, I wonder what havoc it's reeking on us.

[kaitymoore]

Okay good. I thought you meant we were going to trick her into getting into trouble. I think we can do it. We can have a bottle of Jack each, how does that sound? I haven’t had a drink or anything in what feels like weeks.. I texted him a few days ago to ask about something, but that’s the last time I heard from him.

[rianne-saunders]

No, I wouldn't do that. She'd get herself in trouble even if we didn't record it. How do you think Miss Priss would handle a hangover? A bottle of Jack each sounds like heaven, to be honest. The last drink I had was the morning after the dance but that wasn't anything special. Do you think something is going on with him?

[colbywright-jarhead]

So you plan on overfeeding the poor thing? As bad as it sounds, that’s actually a pretty good idea. Just as long as it’s not chocolate. 

[rianne-saunders]

I wouldn't say overfeeding as much as spoiling. Let's just say that he'll have lots of treats to eat whenever he wants. Chocolate can kill them, right? I'll make sure to keep it all away from him, then.

[natwebber]

I finished my work in record time.

[natwebber]

Well sure, but if I start with bad habits now it will only carry over into the future. You can’t promise that if you don’t know whether I’ll like it or not - and I can’t give you an extra half hour of my time if I have no idea where we’re going or what we’re doing. I can’t plan for the extra time that way.

[rianne-saunders]

Do you ever stop analyzing everything you do and just do something because it's fun? How happy are you going to be with your secure job when you realize you have no friends and no decent memories of school because you decided to lock yourself up with your studies? Just give me one night, okay? If you hate it, then you can go back to being boring. Trust me.

[colbywright-jarhead]

So something small? Like one of those dogs you can carry around in a purse?

[rianne-saunders]

Yes, exactly. I wouldn't mind a big dog if I could actually keep it. This way, I can take the little devil everywhere with me. I plan on making sure he gets nice and fat so he can't run away easily.

[natwebber]

I finished my work in record time.

[kaitymoore]

But that would make us taddle tales. Ew. Oh, I think we could do it. Yeah, I wouldn’t know. I’ve barely spoken to him lately. Maybe he’s avoiding me.

[rianne-saunders]

We wouldn't be tattling on anyone, love. We won't do it, though, alright? Just you and I? We'll need a lot of alcohol for that. The last time I talked to him was when he ki-- unfortunately lost his goldfish. I don't know if he's avoiding you, but he has been suspiciously quiet as of late.