Mmmm so what would Farkles sweet 16 be like then
Okay Riley gets EVEN MORE stressed and screwy about this than Maya’s because he knows about the book
He’s not supposed to know
No one was ever supposed to know about the book
She was so caught up in Maya’s party she made a fatal error and showed him
It’s supposed to be a damn surprise party
But he knows she’s throwing him a party
Not to mention after he gave her an amazing Sweet 16th birthday- and then an amazing Sweet 16th party for their one month anniversary- like now she knows she has to step up her fucking game here
She’s like 80% sure he didn’t look through his section in the book but she still worries he did
She enlists Maya’s help obviously but Maya is…significantly less useful than Farkle was at calming her down in this situation
But Riley literally needs any help she can get so she’s not complaining much
Okay so they start the planning a little after the Valentine’s Day Fiasco so everyone knows they’re dating by now
Which makes it harder on Riley because now that they’re public Farkle is all over her 9000% of the time which she has absolutely no problem with but she can’t plan his surprise party in front of him!!!!
But she also can’t exactly say “I can’t go out with you tonight I need to plan your party” and she knows he knows all her tells when she’s lying
Not to mention, her and Maya’s party turned out so well mostly because Farkle’s rich
She obviously can’t make him pay for his own party and her and Maya’s budget is currently consisting of 50 bucks and some spare peanuts omfg
But she’s trying to keep it together. She’s been planning this thing for 4 years, for crying out loud.
She spends the whole month she has to plan it screaming internally
Farkle’s so fucking unhelpful too like he’s definitely aware she’s planning a party for him but he’s severely underestimating how stressed and worried she is about this omfg
So he keeps joking around like constantly reminding her his birthday is the 21st and every time he sees her writing something he asks her if it’s party plans and stuff and she’s SO UPSET AND HE’S JUST NOT SEEING IT FARKLE COME ON
He literally doesn’t figure it out until he made some comment like “Oh my parents wanna do something on the day after my birthday, so the party can’t be that Saturday” and she BURSTS INTO TEARS
HE’S IMMEDIATELY LIKE ‘FUCK WHAT DID I DO I’M SORRY’
And she finally explains that she’s honestly so fucking upset he knows about this because she just really wanted him to be surprised, like to just genuinely catch him off guard for once and show him how much she and everyone loves him, and her feeling of being surprised at the party really reinforced that, and she’s so mad at herself for showing him the book in the first place but she was sleep deprived and after everyone had forgotten her birthday she didn’t feel like she could trust anyone else to put in enough effort with Maya’s party but now the surprise factor is ruined and he won’t even give her a little space so she can order the damn flower arrangements and SHE’S ALL WORKED UP
And he’s really not sure why she’s so invested in the element of surprise here but he’s trying so hard to calm her down omfg like he knows she loves him he’s not gonna doubt that because he’s aware she’s throwing a party??? If anything seeing the book reinforced for him that she loved him omfg
And she’s still upset because he’s not totally getting it but he promises to give her some space to do whatever she needs and that calms her down a little
So now her and Maya are diving into the planning and Riley’s not as rushed as she was with Maya’s so she’s thanking Jesus on the daily
They’re trying to come up with a location that at the very least he won’t be expecting
Maya’s suggesting really random places like abandoned warehouses and other buildings so they can make it like an underground rave and Riley’s…honestly not hating the idea but she’s not sure how they’d pull it off
The baker was hardcore judging them because their instructions for the cake was “as chocolate as humanly possible to make it. With chocolate frosting. And the writing and details in orange frosting. And maybe throw on some sour gummy worms for decoration.”
Because Farkle is a sugar fiend everyone is honestly impressed he’s not diabetic yet
Maya wanted the cake to read “Happy Birthday Asshole” and Riley wanted something about how amazing he was but it was simply too many words to fit. They settled on “Happy Birthday Sparkly Farkly” which they started calling him after an arts and crafts accident in fifth grade. They know he secretly loves it but he always acts mad when they call him that in public. So it felt like the best way to convey affection to him on his birthday lmao
Maya and Zay put in a mass order for shirts/hats/jackets/banners/etc that read ‘Farkle Nation’ omfg
Lucas knew that since it was a party for Farkle there’d be way too much sugar and took it upon himself to order way too many Edible Arrangements bouquets omfg Maya made fun of him for 3 weeks about it
Omfg they decided they had to take a page from Farkle’s book with the giant blown up pictures but they were like. Do we wanna be sweet or do we wanna embarrass him.
So they got two pictures blown up lol- one super cute one of them attack kissing him at the same time after 8th grade graduation. It’s honestly the cutest picture they’ve ever taken.
They were struggling on the embarrassing one tho and they were lamenting about it and Cory was just like wait and ran out of the room and came back 10 minutes later holding The Picture
When he was still all glasses and bowl cuts and turtlenecks
And their art project went so very wrong and he ended up covered head to toe, front to back in glitter omfg
Cory had the perfect picture of him looking like a human disco ball and pouting into the camera.
The girls knew that as Farkle’s best friends it was truly their duty to blow this picture up and hang it on a wall for all the party goers to see
Riley decided since they were going more rave theme they didn’t really need flowers but she still got orange roses and daisies anyway because she’s a sentimental piece of garbage
She figures they can set some bouquets next to Lucas’s lame ass healthy fruit flowers and she needs to see the what the place looks like to figure out if she can do anything else
Which brings us to the next problem: They literally still do not have a location omfg
So they’re freaking out when in swoops Stuart Minkus right
And Riley doesn’t wanna tell him jack shit because there’s a high probability he’s just gonna run home and tell Farkle everything
And Minkus is like ‘Riley please I didn’t tell him I gave you girls keys when he spent months trying to figure out how you were getting in the house. I didn’t tell him when Maya dyed his hair blue in his sleep and it took him 4 hours to notice. I didn’t tell him when for a science project you had set up hidden devices all over his room that you could press a button and ‘beep’ at any given time to make him think he was going insane. I didn’t tell him when Maya installed a porn virus on his school laptop. Why on Earth would I let you girls down now?”
Lmao so they tell him every thing and they mention they’re still looking for a location right
And he’s like…Girls you are aware I basically own half the city right?
And they’re like SHIT because that honestly slipped their minds omfg
So he listens to what they wanna do and he thinks it’s a weird idea but he does own a couple of abandoned buildings from projects and whatnot that just went south and he was never really able to sell
So he draws up a list of ones he can prove are entirely safe and gives it to the girls and basically tells them to have fun lmao
Okay so they spend two days looking around at these sites right
And most of them are just big open spaces which would be helpful but they still wanna keep looking
And then they stumble upon this really weird place omfg
Okay so according to Minkus’ note, it was a warehouse but then they tried to turn a extra floor into apartments but everyone fled the place because they were claiming it’s haunted
The girls read that and called Lucas, Zay and Smackle to come with them to see it because they read that note and they were just like “…Obviously.”
So they get there and the bottom floor where like factory work was happening has been cleared of any machinery except there’s a weird tiny stage there. They’re figuring the short-lived apartment building tried to have activities down here or something.
Okay and then above that on a landing is this big office-y sort of room with one glass wall so you can look out of it and see the floor (although there are blinds and other walls)
And then around that is just this extra floor that literally has really tiny fully furnished studio apartments like it deadass looks like everyone living there got up and left in the middle of the night it’s so creepy
So Riley’s starting to get excited omg she’s like “Okay so we have the actual rave-ish party on the bottom floor, and then we could-”
“get a projector and screen a bunch of his favorite nerd movies in the office space!” was Maya’s great contribution
And then omfg Lucas was like “Oooh and if anyone gets too tired from the party they can lay down to rest in the apartments!”
And everyone’s staring at him for a moment and Maya’s just like “You’re right that’s exactly what people would want to use them for good boy.” lmao
Okay so now they gotta get the word out to the school obvi
Riley and Zay handle inviting people and they manage to tell evvverybody it’s in a haunted building omg so a lot of people are going lol
Maya and Smackle leave one day and come back with a shit load of glow-in-the dark paint and black lights
Riley enlists Lucas who enlists his jock friends to go through the factory and clean everything lmao
Since they had to go after practice and stuff it takes them like a week to get it all done
For a present, Riley manages to get him tickets to an underground robot fight, an actual record album of Pippin signed by the original cast, and bought a star in his name; When she told Maya, the blonde’s only response was ‘he’s gonna nut’ 😂
Okay so we’re now…Maybe a week and a half from March 21st, Farkle’s birthday
And Riley’s still upset that she can’t actually surprise him
And Maya’s just like “Why don’t you just avoid him completely until the party and make him think he pissed you off so he’s relieved to be surprised.”
And Riley’s like “No Maya you don’t understand he let’s me make out with him”
So avoiding him altogether is out of the picture in her mind😂
So they’re spit balling plans to surprise him back and forth for like an hour and they’re getting more and more pathetic lol
But then ZAY SAVES THE DAY
Okay so they had already planned on using any element of surprise they can get in the first place- because of that, even though Farkle was pretty much expecting this party to be on the Friday after his birthday, they had scheduled it for his actual birthday, which was Wednesday. Cory Matthews was already preparing to play dumb on their behalf when most of the sophomore class and whole knows how many other kids skip school on Thursday lmao
So anyway Zay was like “Riley why don’t you just convince him you had plans set for Friday but they fell through and now there is no party”
And Riley’s like but he knows my tells!
And Maya’s like “…but if you start crying he’d turn into a panicked mess and wouldn’t know up from down.”
So everyone is like holy shit this could work
And that’s the story of how on a Sunday night Farkle was very confused when Riley ran into his room sobbing that she’s the ‘worst girlfriend in the history of romantic attraction. Fuck, even Neanderthals would’ve made better girlfriends than me!’
And she’s straight up sobbing into his chest and this poor boy is like “WHAT THE FUCK” he doesn’t know what to do and Riley’s now crying to hard for him to make out a concrete sentence
And she really lays it on okay homegirl manages to drudge up fake tears for like 40 minutes you should be proud
So he finally gets her to calm down a bit and he wants to know what’s wrong and she’s still got her face shoved in his chest so he can’t read her tells and she’s like “We had this whole thing planned we were trying to rent a huge room in Hard Rock Café on Friday for your birthday and all our friends and family would be there and it wasn’t even anything amazing like you did for me and Maya but my budget was significantly smaller but I was hoping you wouldn’t mind BUT IT ALL FELL THROUGH AND NOW WE CAN’T HAVE A PARTY FOR YOU! The restaurant made a mix up and accidentally canceled our reservations and we can’t get anywhere else on such short notice and I can’t even get a refund for the canceled reservations so it’s not like I’d be able to take you anywhere other than an Applebees anyway so now I don’t know what to do and you’re leaving for the Hamptons Saturday morning so it’s not like I can throw anything else together and I’ve let you down you deserve a girlfriend so much better than me honestly you should just call Isadora to see what she’s doing! I’m so sorry Farkle!”
Like Riley is really selling this holy shit Farkle is beside himself on her behalf and he’s trying to calm her down and tell her that she’s amazing and he loves her and trying to convince her that he really doesn’t need a birthday party at all omfg
She’s still crying when she leaves his house but he managed calm her down a little omg
Okay so now it’s Wednesday, Farkle’s birthday right
School is normal, Riley baked him brownies for the occasion but still looked like she’d burst into tears at any moment
So it’s now like…8′o’clock at night, right
And suddenly he gets a text from Maya that’s like “omg I’m part of one of those groups where you get really abstract text clues about where a movie marathon is happening and there’s one starting soon in a haunted building and they’re doing all your War of the Stars movies or whatever I need you to drive me”
And Farkle’s like “Okay but Maya you clearly don’t care so why are you even going in the first place??”
And she’s like “I can make myself suffer through sci-fi for your birthday. Riley’s coming too, leave now or I’ll hurt you.”
So he picks them up and he’s like “aren’t you guys dressed a little nice for a movie marathon??” because Riley’s got her hair all curly and she’s in this tight black and white dress with that’s very distracting and Maya’s at least in a romper but it’s like. A fancy one that’s all silver and black
But Maya makes some comment like “I don’t need a dress code for life” and Riley’s staring out the window still in full blown sulk mode about the party falling through
So okay he follows Maya’s directions and pulls up to this fucking abandoned warehouse and all the lights are off inside and it sounds dead quiet and he’s like “Yeah no we’re gonna get murdered aren’t we?” and Maya’s like ‘probably’ and heads inside, texting the whole time
So he sighs and him and Riley start walking over and he’s trying to get her to tell him what’s wrong and they’re right at the door she’s got her hand on the handle and she just sighs sadly and says “I really don’t deserve you, Farkle.”
And before he can #panic and try to cheer her up she smiles and says “But you probably deserve me,” and opens the door and shoves him inside
The lights flash on and everyone’s screaming ‘surprise!’ and he’s just so.
The two giant blown up pictures are hanging on opposite sides of the room. Tables filled with a lot of junk food (and for some reason fruit bouquets????) and drinks pushed up against the walls so there’s still a huge amount of room for people to dance. A tiered chocolate cake (with gummy worms??) that looks taller than him is up on a stage next to where it looks like Zay had set up DJ equipment. The blinds are open in the designated screening room so he can see the projector set up. As far as he can see, almost everyone in the room is wearing some article of white clothing-hats, shirts, sweatbands- and they look normal but Zay’s got extra boxes of them on stage that he clearly intends to throw to the crowd. There’s also plain white banners hanging around the room, he’s a little confused about that. And he’s also seeing Riley’s got orange roses and daisies scattered across the room. This boy is just. so shocked and confused right now omfg.
He thinks he’s recognizing more than half of the student body in this room honestly what the fuck how is this happening
Everyone’s still cheering and taking pictures and Maya’s shoving him into this hot pink sash that reads ‘BIRTHDAY BITCH’ in glitter and he’s just staring in shock still omg
Riley’s smirking at him and nudging him like “Did I surprise you???” and all he can do is nod and she’s squealing and hugging him in excitement
So Zay finally gets the microphone at his stand working and he’s like ‘alright LETS GO’ and all the sudden the lights cut out and black lights are lighting up and all the plain white stuff he’d noticed before were now proclaiming “FARKLE NATION” in glow in the dark paint he’s freaking out omg
He can barely figure out what songs are being played because Riley’s got his hand and is dragging him to the dance floor and he’s getting completely swept up in this party omfg
Riley’s living for the fact the look of surprise never leaves his eyes all night
They dance for hours with occasional breaks for food and drinks but everyone’s really having a great time
They can hear people screaming at whatever movie they’re playing on the projector
They decide to attempt to cut and pass out slices of the cake around 10:30. They shoved Farkle on the stage and Zay made him stand there as he got most of the party goers to sing happy birthday and then Riley was like “here eat your slice right now while Lucas and I try to pass out pieces” so Farkle was left to awkwardly stand on stage in front of hundreds of people and try to eat a diabetes-ridden slice of cake and of course Maya shoved it in his face after a few bites 😂
Omg so the party gets back in full swing right and at some point around Midnight Riley and Farkle end up in the last row of seats they had set up in the projection room and they’re watching Paranormal Activity or something
Well they’re supposed to be watching it lol in reality they’re all cuddled up and whispering because Farkle wants to know how the hell she pulled this off
And she’s looking out a crack in the blinds, watching Zay try to get everyone invested in a line dance and launching more shirts out of a shirt cannon and the screen is casting a blue light over her and he’s obsessed with how it looks
And she’s like “I was really set on surprising you because you always surprise me and I figured I should return the favor one of these days”
And he’s like “I thought you wanted to through me a party because I was such a loser when we were kids?” and she shoves his shoulder and they’re both smiling (although she doesn’t deny he was a loser lmao)
And now she’s listing off all the times he’s surprised her, like she didn’t think the sad-looking kid on the playground would be her best friend and talk about space with her, she didn’t think Dracula would save her from drowning, she didn’t think he’d show up at the hospital after she’d gotten her tonsils out and read to her the whole stay, she didn’t think he’d ever get rid of that awful bowl cut (lol), she didn’t think his playground feelings for her would turn out to be real and deep, she didn’t think he’s make her fall in love with him, her list keeps going on
And she’s finally like “so I really wanted to surprise you for once, okay? I wasn’t joking with the ‘I don’t deserve you’ thing. But I’ve always been a little selfish and I love you too much and I just wanted you to know that.”
And so of course now Farkle’s on some sappy tangent about how amazing Riley is ya-da-ya-da-ya-da
Annnd now they’re making out
And now they’re still making out but sneaking out the door in the room
Why are they heading to the apartment sections
Why are they tying that stupid sash Maya gave him around a door knob to one place
Children get away from the bed,
(No but yeah I think you can figure out where that moment goes)
And let’s just say that was their first, ah, ~moment~
And it was rather spur-of-the-moment, sure, but I don’t think either of them are gonna complain too much okay
They sneak back down to the dance party a little after that
Zay starts some crazy contests up he’s really digging the DJ thing
The rest of the party is amazing and everyone has a great time
Riley and Farkle don’t leave each other’s sight the whole night and I think Maya is a little suspicious about why Riley’s lipstick is messed up and Farkle’s blushing so much, but she convinces herself it’s all the dancing and doesn’t bring it up lol
Lucas is off in the corner fussing because literally no one has touched his Edible Arrangements and it’s like 2:30 in the morning wtf guys
People start clearing out around 3:30-ish
It’s still talked about as one of the best parties ever even as they’re graduating
The girls crashed at Farkle’s place for the night rather than drive all the way back home (the warehouse was closer to him)
So he’s lying in bed and instead of staring at the planetarium ceiling he’s staring at Riley who’s softly snoring next to him
And he’s still seeing flashing lights in his eyes and hearing songs he can barely recognize and his heart hasn’t returned to normal beats yet and he’s not sure if that’s from the dancing or the milestone he and Riley crossed but it’s a good feeling
He wasn’t expecting anything at all but he definitely had a Sweet Sixteen and wouldn’t change a second of it
I really want you people to know that I had ‘Darude- Sandstorm’ stuck in my head for the entire 2 and a half hours it took to right this
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