Hello, I'm Richard Gin. Known and published photographer featured in Rolling Stone, Spin, Village Voice and etc. Former sub-commander in the former Epoch. Contact me regarding usage at [email protected]. Visit my real site at http://richardgin.org
Happy Birthday, Montana! You would be 31 today. You were 28 when we recorded this on February 15th, 2020. It was almost 9 years ago to the day when we recorded our first song together. That was the first time I met Montana Elliot, your endlessly powerful alter-ego, and I learned that I was actually recording a powerful laser beam that could split open reality and pull everyone in earshot into another world.
Grief eventually calcifies into a reduction. Images, words, and songs to compartmentalize the full human being we miss. We all need to do this to survive, because it’s impossible to replicate a soul. It can be scary to watch these concentrations and symbols of a person stack up, while real and cherished memories of them stay locked in to a fixed amount. It’s natural, required to heal, and understandably harrowing to navigate. Ultimately, it’s deeply comforting. It creates a language for all of us to remember you. Grief also means learning so much more about a person through fragments and memories that don’t belong to you. We’ve all become this incredible coalition of Montana Experts. We’re always researching you and sharing our findings with each other.
These connections and conversations are an essential reminder that none of us are broken for loving you so much. If we were broken our love would drain out and disappear, but we’ve been walking around with our hearts filled to the brim and we haven’t spilled a drop. We continue to pour all of our love for you, and all the love you have for us, into each other. Forever and ever.
YRICS:
Forever and ever and ever.
Woke up tangled up
In every charger that I've ever plugged in
Feeling capable
Of giving love I thought I once abandoned
The window was hot from the sun
And the trees make warmer colors Just to show how long we're lovers
Leaves live up to their namesake
I can wait
I can wait
For as long as it takes
Cause
Can't think of anyone else worth knowing
My hearts a cup that you filled up
And now it's overflowing
Your jawline pressing up to mine
Singing unison
On every line
Two people in love
Just screaming
There are things
Still worth believing in
Can we stay together
Forever and ever and ever
Woke up feeling good
Like any falling brick could bounce right off me
Feeling understood
Like maybe there are secret codes in melody
Twisting the radio knobs
Making static sounds just to turn you around
I see you smile from the back of your head
The most beautiful songs have a sense of humor I guess
Can't think of anyone else worth knowing
My hearts a cup that you filled up
And now it's overflowing
Your jawline pressing up to mine
Singing unison
On every line
Two people in love
Just screaming
There are things
Still worth believing in
Why can bad habits easily come back to life
When something healthy can just drive away at night
My friends and I came together to make this little project for our friend. For my little sister. Montana - You’ve been gone for three months yet I hear your voice in my ears as clear as a bell. Someday you must tell me how, even in death, you manage to fill the quiet spaces in my life. I love you and I miss you.
Business: Bellows’ “Next of Kin,” the album this song is from, is about loss: “loss of family, beloved dogs, friendships, romantic love, and most of all loss of selfhood.” To have the opportunity to grab on to her loved ones and build something new out of the loss of Montana has been a gift. Thank you to everyone who participated in fact and in spirit. An enormous thank you to Oliver for letting my call my own number with this video and trusting me to finish it.
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