Jimminy Jillickers

and everyone on the bus started clapping

[sandmandaddy69]

[feraligatr]

[strangewomanlover-deactivated20]

GET ME OUT IF NEW YORK NOWWW😭😭😭😭

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

[fucxingcuties]

[sunbeetle]

friend group in their 20s

friend 1: just folded laundry for 3 hours 😊

friend 2: i think my stomach wall is eroding guys idk what to do

friend 3: have u seen a doctor yet???

friend 2: well nooo...

friend 4: someone is at my door 😰

friend 1: just cleaned the sinks and toilets 😍

friend 2: no really the light is fading from my eyes

friend 4: a tree fell on my neighbor

you: just got off work is anybody free

[a hot, silent wind blows]

[cannibalchicken]

[baddywronglegs]

I've asked this question before and been surprised by the results, now I have access to more weirdos it's your problem:

It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.

Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.

Which of these would surprise you more to find on the doorstep?

Fairy

Walrus

Voting ended onFeb 26, 2024

[baddywronglegs]

Not naming options to skew votes but...

I think there's something fundamentally baffling with the way most of you think.

[formlesschromatic]

[troacctid]

Happy birthday to this iconic poll

[neuro-light]

Don’t usually go on Facebook because it’s fucking stupid but this. Was too funny.

[transpigeon]

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

[spirit-of-science]

sleep study

ADHD medication

DBT

[headedoutleft]

vitamin D

go outside for an hour and observe birds

eat a snack

[trackerkitsune]

drink water

[ineffable-writer]

Maybe do these in reverse order

[dogpuppy]

[sovietnam]

[dogpuppy]

[previoustags]

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

[karma-crystal]

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

[quietdoppelganger]

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while

[kaijuno]

[kristina100000]

[akashicrecord]

I wasn't ignoring your message I was being elusive and shy like a forest elf