𝒾 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊.

𝒌𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆𝒚 • 22 • 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒆𝒓 • 𝒔𝒉𝒆/𝒉𝒆𝒓 ~𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓 & 𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒐𝒓~

[ricochetdean]

I’m making a base here just in case (when tbh) Twitter goes into a fucking coma because no matter what I still want to interact with this community and talk about deancas!

You can find me at any of the following :)

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/ricochetdean

Editing account:

https://twitter.com/ricochetdmedia

Ao3:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[devilmns]

12.21 | 13.01

[ricochetdean]

how is one even supposed to see this as anything other than deancas… like be so fr

[crybabycastiell]

᪥ 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖. ᪥

[fandomstuff67]

Ayo doctor who fandom anyone got any fic recs my bestie @ricochetdean is in need

[ricochetdean]

doctor retrospectives and analysis’ fics specifically would be much appreciated🫡

[chapeldean]

[clenches fist] do you even know how passionate i am about the liminal space that is everything that happens off screen in supernatural. team free will, in the bunker, inbetween episodes. all their attempts at normalcy; the grocery shopping lists! the empty schampoo bottles in the shower, the feather-duster they use for the bookshelves in the library, the windowless kitchen that smells vaguely of cleaning chemicals, the garage door that won’t open unless you kick it, which cas finds so annoying; the reruns on tv at night, the low hum which can only be heard when it’s completely silent that sam assumes is magic and dean assumes is electricity and neither of them has ever brought it up. the FM radio playing, the one good phone charger, the books they read for fun and the houseplant they killed after a week.

the comfort of a hug and in curling up in a bed next to an angel. all the unsaid things that are waiting to be spoken, still important because they’re still felt. day after day after day. stretches of peace and stretches of home.

[chapeldean]

at times, everything they don’t show is what feels the realest to me

[bloodydeanwinchester]

god i love the motel scene in on the head of a pin where uriel and cas come to take dean away to torture alastair. it is such a good early destiel scene. dean is so pissed and cas is just standing over in the corner all “dean we know this is difficult to understand” while uriel is saying “and we dont care!” cas looks straight ahead like fuck i messed up again AND THEN the way that dean looks at cas and the way that cas refuses to look back at him. and then when he finally does he looks so conflicted! and then dean just looks only at cas and pleads with him “you cant ask me to do this cas—not this” and cas looks like he wants to give in he wants to give dean whatever he wants but he’s still fighting it! still trying to be the good soldier he thinks he is. this episode is literally such a turning point for cas’s character. he hasn’t quite reached the point of no return yet but this is the episode where he finally takes a big step in that direction

[ricochetdean]

“I would give anything not to have you do this” LIKE MF YOU WHAT???

[valleydean]

you all listen to me and listen good! castiel and aziraphale may both be fallen gay angels who averted the apocalypse and are in love with a car dude but they are fundamentally different! aziraphale is sitting there eating his little tea and crumpets with caviar or whatever while reading pride and prejudice and listening to chopin's nocturnes. cas is eating gas station nachos, covered in blood, in his pick up truck belting out christina aguilera's part in lady marmalade they are not the same!!

[ricochetdean]

The absolute soul crushing look on crowley’s face when aziraphale interrupts him has haunted me for days. He’s imagined this conversation for thousands of years, his whole existence it feels like, and the second he tries to voice it, his courage is stamped out and run over.

It’s so— like your chest is heaving and your eyes are stinging and you’re not human, not really, but your essence is crawling within the walls of your body and you think you might be dying this hurts so much. But it’s important, the woman in the coffee shop— the record lady— they say it’s important and so you gather your breath, the breath your calculated body isn’t even supposed to lose, and you take your glasses off— the ones made for you to hide, to blend in, to feel a false sense of belonging— and you try to speak it.

You try to speak what you feel. Every selfish, gnawing, aching bit of it, and to an angel no less. An angel meant to serve and give in the places you’re meant to rule and steal, and there were always going to be complications— forces that got in the way, Heaven and Hell, good and evil. Those were a given. You’re going against nature, after all. But somehow, the last thing you expected to interrupt you was the angel itself.

And what a devastating interruption it was.

[pinknatural]

season 1 sam and dean pass by a poster for brokeback mountain and sam is like i heard that was good and dean goes white as a sheet and angrily says no it's a shit movie and sam is like ah yes homophobia strikes again 😔 and dean is repressing memories of himself sobbing his eyes out in the back of a movie theater & all of a sudden his chest hurts

[valleydean]

Me after finishing a supernatural rewatch

[trenchcoatimpala]

Atonement

The air was colder. Dean didn’t mind. He liked the feeling of the wind biting at his skin, like a starved animal gnawing on a bone. It was no less than he deserved. He wasn’t exactly the poster boy for good decisions, but he really fucked up this time. There was a feeling in his gut, like he’d swallowed lead, and he felt lightheaded; nauseous. It wasn’t like he hadn’t screwed up before, but this time was just… different. 

Cas was God-knows-where and Dean missed him, Goddammit. He missed him and he was stupid because he couldn’t ever ask for what he wanted knowing that if he did he would never stop. He hadn’t expected to get as drunk as he had, just like he hadn’t expected the blue-eyed stranger with dark brown hair to eye him up. 

Dean was pretty good at keeping his attraction to men on the down low. Or at least, he thought he was. But when that man had approached him, Dean’s aching heart had reached for him and that was it. He was stupid for feeling guilty about hooking up with some random guy in some random bar off some random highway, but he did. 

It wasn’t like he and Cas were together, in fact Cas probably wouldn't even bat an eye at Dean’s actions. But it still felt like cheating. Dean hadn’t been with a guy since Sam was at Stanford, way before he even knew Cas. He’d had his fair share of hookups with women, hell he’d fucking lived with Lisa, but this time, because it was a guy, it was different. It was like he fucked up something he didn’t even know he was waiting to have. He wasn’t saving himself for Cas or anything, obviously that bridge was well and crossed, but since meeting Cas he hadn’t wanted to be with another guy. Now that he had it felt like he was getting over Cas. 

He didn’t want to get over Cas.

He didn’t want to go back to letting some schmuck in a bar bat their eyes at him and have him on his knees in the bathroom ten minutes later. That wasn’t the kind of guy he was. Not anymore, anyway. And that wasn’t what tonight was either, but he could see himself falling back into the pit, if only to keep himself from climbing out, because it was safer that way.

What he felt for Cas, he’d never felt for anyone before. It scared him as much as it excited him. For so long he’d thought he was broken, that he was never going to be able to love someone, but then Cas walked into his life in a shower of sparks and now… well, now he was in fucking love. And he fucked it up by being a desperate drunk looking for any kind of contact with another nameless drunk in another nameless bar. Whoopdee fucking do. 

So yeah, he deserved the fucking cold. He deserved to have forgotten his jacket on the backseat of his chair in that stupid bar. He deserved for Cas to personally smite him for breaking whatever the fuck they had in the first place. Because after what he did, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to look at Cas again without shame boiling in his blood. 

Cas wouldn’t know. There was no way he could. He didn’t do that mind meld thing unless Dean let him. But the guilt would probably eat at him, and he’d be able to endure it for a while, possibly years, but eventually he wouldn’t be able to do it anymore. 

He felt dirty, like he’d just gone ten rounds in some trucker's backseat instead of the comfort of a random guy’s apartment. Maybe that was it. The fact that he’d let the guy bring him to his apartment, let him take him apart slowly, like they were actually… something. And he’d been eager to do it, so eager he forgot his fucking jacket. It didn’t feel like a hookup with a stranger, it felt familiar. Dean had killed lots of things, been face to face with Gods and demons and the full wrath of Heaven, but none of that had him trembling in fear like this. 

Dean would never see the guy again, but he was certain he would never forget him either. The blue-eyed man who had looked at him kindly, who had loved him tenderly, who wasn’t Cas, would plague him for the rest of his pitiful life. And there it was, under the fear was revelation. He’d wanted the first person to look at him like he was worth something, to touch him without recoiling like they’d been burned, to see him not as something to be fixed but as something to be cradled gently, knowing that his box was just marked ‘fragile, handle with care’’, to be Cas. 

The man in that bar had shown him more tenderness than Dean had ever thought he’d deserved, and certainly more than he’d ever gotten from a one night stand. That was what was eating at him. He’d allowed someone else to start to stitch him back together, to close the gaping holes in his ravaged mind, to make him feel like more than just a warm body that was the latest in a long line. 

It was supposed to be Cas, only Cas. He wasn’t supposed to let anyone else in. He’d failed. And letting the bitter December air claw away parts of his barely protected core was the least he could do to atone for giving away the one thing he wasn’t supposed to let anyone but Cas have.

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[bimbodean]

anyway dean is such a deeply intrinsically queer character that if you take that aspect away from him the rest of his characterization falls apart like a jenga tower and nothing else about him makes any sense

[zudilio]

john really does raise dean to be a weapon, but specifically in ways that make john lose respect for him. john wants to raise a son who plays by his own rules and doesn’t take anybody’s shit, but what he needs is a kid who obeys his every fucking whim with gusto. he wants to raise a man’s man, but he needs somebody to fill the traditionally feminine caretaker duties that he used to rely on his dead wife for. john sees dean’s desperation to please, can tell that even the hypermasculine traits that dean does wind up with are an outfit that he puts on to appease him, and it makes john kind of sick. dean is the necessary glue that holds their family together and keeps his brother alive when john can’t be bothered to, but john finds the son who openly defies him to be a much more appealing reflection of himself and his parenting. dean is exactly who john intended for him to be and john doesn’t even really like him.

[wettpolly-onlyfnss]

it's just me and my gay fanfics against the world

[demonbloodenthusiast]

i'm gonna say this one time and one time only, if john winchester was alive in season ten demon dean would've killed him with absolutely no hesitation

[white-marvel-grey]

It’s June. You know what that means.

[found--family]

my shy but handsome friend here could be read as platonic wingman but devastatingly??! who is he devastating, dean?? your gay ass?? i rest my case.