nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy

Welcome to the blog for Whatever I'm Obsessed Over This Month. Current obsession: K Project. So much K Project. Lots of meta. Perpetual backlog. Feel free to ask things. Buy me a coffee?

[ridiasfangirlings]

Yata has a strange behavior lately. He more gentle with Fushimi —-even treats him like a princess so Fushimi is annoyed and when he’s confronted Yata about this and he‘s flustered and bursting out “I want to be a man that you can rely on!”

Yata over here like ‘I need to be a good provider!’ and Fushimi is like I make more in a month than you do in a year and my boss will never fire me XD Maybe now that they’re dating Yata has been thinking of possibly proposing but if he’s gonna do that he needs to be the kind of man who can take care of his boyfriend, he’s been watching rom coms lately to try and be more romantic and it’s put the idea in his head. Yata was never the kind of guy who thought all women should be treated like princesses or whatever but this isn’t a woman this is Saruhiko, he deserves the best (plus maybe Yata being a bit more aware of what Fushimi’s situation was like when they were kids and knowing what Fushimi’s been through, Yata feels like Fushimi deserves to finally have someone who will be reliable and take care of him). Yata decides if he’s gonna be a proper boyfriend he has to treat Fushimi gently, no more calling him a bastard when Fushimi’s mocking him or getting into fights even if Saruhiko starts it. Of course Fushimi probably finds this all annoying because he’s used to the hot tempered Misaki, like why is Yata suddenly treating Fushimi with kid gloves and acting like Fushimi needs to be pampered (which isn’t to say that Fushimi doesn’t like being spoiled sometimes, but then Yata will like step in front of him when they’re chasing a Strain together and Fushimi doesn’t care for that sort of thing at all).

Finally one day Fushimi snaps at Yata to stop treating him like he’s made of glass and Yata blurts out ‘I want to be a man that you can rely on!’. Fushimi starts laughing at that, what stupid things has Misaki been watching now, and Yata gets all defensive like no I’m serious, now that we're together I want to be the type of guy that you can lean on for stuff. After he’s mocked Yata for it though I could see Fushimi getting a little huffy about the whole thing, because he thought that the two of them were already partners and Fushimi’s been doing his best to rely on Yata even though relying on others doesn’t come easy for him, and here’s Yata acting like none of that mattered at all. Yata’s like wait what and it slowly dawns on him that Saruhiko really was already starting to rely on him, and that doing all this other stuff was in fact making him less reliable. Yata admits that he just wants Fushimi to feel like Yata’s someone worth leaning on, Yata knows he’s an idiot and doesn’t always understand things but he wants Fushimi to look to him as someone who can support him. Fushimi clicks his tongue and grumbles what do you think you’ve been doing already, Yata laughs sheepishly and says he’s glad Fushimi told him, it makes him feel like someone Fushimi can rely on already if Fushimi was willing to be honest with him this way.

[ridiasfangirlings]

One of the creepy facts about getting into k younger is realizing you were born the same year as one of the younger characters 😅 seriously, what do you mean Anna and I are technically the same age? Anyways do you know where to find more stories of Anna’s time in Homra pre s1? Specifically ones from before she joined or how she did? Are there any sources that share how exactly her powers work? Thank you so much.

There isn't anything I can recall offhand that focuses on her pre-series but for how she joined Homra you'll want to read Side Red (this is the Secrets of the Slate novels page rather than a direct link to the novel translation itself, since a couple people translated it). Her powers are also described within that novel though honestly it is a little vague still, much like Neko I feel like Gora has a general idea of her powers but also 'it's whatever we need her powers to be at the time' XD

[ridiasfangirlings]

In the BBM AU how do you think munakata would react to saru dating in general? Or if it was with one of the blue members or (god forbid) Mikoto or another red?

Okay but the idea of Fushmi dating Mikoto in this AU is hilarious, it was bad enough for Munakata when he thought Saruhiko was dating Yata Misaki but the Red King is just a bridge too far. Munakata would absolutely be making little passive aggressive jabs at Mikoto about dating one of his clansman and someone who is younger than him to boot (and if you’re thinking ‘wait in a normal canon universe wouldn’t all of that also apply to Munakata and Fushimi’ have we considered that Munakata’s morals are crystal pure and thus such things are acceptable when he does it). Also Munakata was mostly only able to verbally bully Yata because it’s untoward for the Blue King to stoop to fighting a mere clansmen but in the case of Mikoto it’s Munakata’s job, nay, his duty to try and punch Mikoto in the mouth on a regular basis. Mikoto is probably not helping matters here either because he is absolutely lording it over Munakata that he’s dating Munakata’s baby brother just to get a rise out of Munakata in response. Meanwhile poor Fushimi is just like I’ll leave you idiots alone since clearly you’re too busy with each other to deal with me.

If Fushimi was just dating like a nice, normal S4 boy I think Munakata would be perhaps a little more chill but still scary. The S4 boys are probably more hesitant to court Fushimi in this AU, knowing that’s the Captain’s kid brother, but also I could see like Hidaka just going for it anyway. He’s super excited when Fushimi agrees to go out with him and then suddenly out of nowhere he’s summoned to Munakata’s office for the ‘what are your intentions’ talk. Hidaka is terrified out of his mind but determined to get Captain’s approval, Munakata is mostly assured of Hidaka’s true and pure feelings and therefore gives Hidaka his blessing (but also please be aware of consequences should you break Saruhiko’s heart, said as pleasantly as discussing the weather). Since all the S4 boys are handpicked by Munakata I feel like he’d be largely more willing to allow them to court his precious Saruhiko, these are all loyal and trustworthy clansmen who should be aware of how delicate and precious Saruhiko’s heart is. The main worry for the S4 boys is that Munakata does after all have a brother complex so he’s probably always trying to insert himself into Fushimi’s love life and asking inappropriate questions with no shame. Fushimi is good at waving Munakata away and telling him to keep out of it but his potential boyfriend still has to tread lightly because they want to stay on Captain’s good side after all, and unfortunately it can be hard to tell if Munakata is sincerely treating Fushimi’s boyfriend like a potential brother-in-law or if he’s just trolling.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Post-Rok Izumo almost spiraling into depression while grieving over the loss of Mikoto and Tatara. His workaholic boyfriend does everything he can to help.

The good thing about this AU is that while All Kusanagi’s Friends May Be Dead at least he’d have a boyfriend still. Actually I could see where it would be helpful for him to just have somebody outside of Homra that he could confide in because Kusanagi is so busy being everyone’s rock in Homra that he doesn’t give himself time to grieve at all. Initially after Mikoto’s death I could see Kusanagi pulling away from his boyfriend a bit because he has responsibilities, telling his boyfriend that he’s going overseas and may be out of contact for a while and of course his boyfriend is worried because that can’t be healthy. Workaholic boyfriend has his own stuff to deal with though and maybe after Kusanagi leaves he’s kinda kicking himself, this was the time to put the work aside and try to get Izumo to open up to him and he missed it. When Kusanagi returns to Japan he reconnects with his boyfriend but it’s still a bit of a distant thing, I feel like in the direct aftermath of MK Kusanagi would just want to keep this normal person out of all the clans and Kings business. Especially in light of Totsuka’s death showing how vulnerable someone without strong powers is, I could see Kusanagi just telling himself that he needs to get through whatever’s going on with the Greens and then he’ll get back to his boyfriend. His bf understands but I could also see him thinking isn’t this like when he was being a workaholic and Kusanagi told him to take a break, when does Kusanagi get to take a break.

So then post-ROK normal boyfriend guy plucks up his courage, strides into Homra and drags Kusanagi upstairs to tell him to take a rest (imagine Anna is there in the bar at the time and as Kusanagi’s protesting she just smiles at his boyfriend, she’s been waiting for him to show up and take care of Izumo all this time). This would be the point I think Kusanagi’s boyfriend would really try to get Kusanagi to just sit down and breathe and cry and grieve, like okay here I am I’m not part of Homra so you don’t need to be strong for me, just cry it out. Kusanagi tries to play it off like it was just a stressful moment and his boyfriend is frustrated but not giving up. Maybe it’s after Circle Vision that Kusanagi shows up at his boyfriend’s place all worn out and emotionally exhausted, having just had drinks with Mikoto and Totsuka in the dream and Kusanagi says he thinks he’d like to talk about it now. His boyfriend has a ton of work to do but he’s like yeah screw work and drags Kusanagi inside, even if all he can do is let Izumo cry on his shoulder that’s enough.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Big brother munakata au where saruhiko asks yata if he looks like reisi. And yata is torn between being honest with him vs not wanting to say that saru looks like That Weirdo. It's a difficult situation for the both of them

For Yata this is like the equivalent of your girlfriend asking if her dress makes her look fat XD Imagine this kinda related to that one ask I had a while back about Fushimi realizing he looks like Munakata and not Niki, maybe he’s asking Yata for confirmation because he just wants to hear someone close to him say that yes, he does look like he really is part of the Munakata family. To Yata though it’s like wait is Saruhiko worried that he looks like his weirdo brother. Yata knows in his heart that the answer is probably yes because even he can see the resemblance but then also he hates it because no way Saruhiko looks like that guy Saruhiko looks way cooler than his big brother. Fushimi is just looking at him with a vaguely hopeful expression and Yata isn’t sure what answer Fushimi is looking for here, like if he says yes will Saruhiko get annoyed that he looks like his weird brother but if Yata says no will Saruhiko be having another complex over being adopted. Yata’s all stuttering and trying to think of a good answer, basically there’s no way he can win this one and why did Saruhiko trap him this way. In the end maybe he just blurts out ‘you look like Saruhiko!’ and Fushimi lets that sink in, slowly giving this small smile. Yata breathes a sigh of relief and then Fushimi eyes him and says that wasn’t answer but he’ll allow it for now.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Thinking of saruhiko has three daddies au meeting big brother munakata au saruhiko...

Relatively Stable Fushimi #1 meets Relatively Stable Fushimi #2. It would actually be interesting to see how their personalities would differ in this case, both are better off than canon Fushimi but I think they would have different traits based on their upbringings. I imagine Three Daddies AU Fushimi would probably be a bit more rough, like Big Brother Munakata AU Fushimi certainly has his delinquent moments rebelling against his family but I imagine it would not be anything close to what 3D Fushimi has. I think the Fushimi raised by the Munakata family would be in some respects more ‘normal,’ like yes his big brother is a weirdo but his parents are very average and his oldest brother is very average so this Fushimi has more of an idea of what a regular family is. Fushimi raised by Homra on the other hand had to deal with a more unconventional upbringing, I could see that Fushimi being a little more independent and having maybe a wider breadth of knowledge of various things outside of the more book smarts that BBM Fushimi would have. 

Also their relationships to their Kings and to Yata would be an interesting contrast, BBM Fushimi would have been friends with Yata since middle school while 3D Fushimi doesn’t meet Yata until Yata joins Homra. I could see 3D Fushimi maybe even being a bit jealous of that, like he’s been trying so much to get Yata’s attention as something beyond just ‘Suoh Mikoto’s ward’ and here this other Fushimi had Yata attached to him right from the beginning. On the other hand BBM Fushimi is like at least you don’t have your annoying brother being overprotective and trying to scare your best friend away and then they both definitely commiserate about how bothersome Munakata can be (though for BBM Fushimi there’s definitely more fondness mixed in). Also I could see a point of relation for them being that they both feel in the shadow of their King/family member, BBM Fushimi who wants to show that he’s in S4 for his talent and not nepotism and 3D Fushimi who felt like he had to prove himself in another clan because Homra would always see him as just the Homra trio’s kid. BBM Fushimi would definitely be horrified by the idea of having Suoh Mikoto as a dad but 3D Fushimi is like at least Captain isn’t my big brother, they both really have it hard in their own ways.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Idk if it’s already been asked. But do u have a least favorite K Project Ship?

….Niki/Saruhiko, I guess?? I did a ship list at one point but didn’t really pick a least favorite, I don’t want people to feel discouraged asking me about a certain ship or think that I’m like making a pronouncement as to the ‘rightness’ of this or that ship. For ‘regular’ ships (so no like giant age gap weirdness or anything) if I had to choose I’d say I’m not really fond of MikoYata at all, it just doesn’t work for me personally. Like especially compared to Reisaru, which I love, that ship works for me because Fushimi and Munakata have such a fascinating personal relationship beyond just clansman and King, there’s a lot to work with regarding how Munakata navigates Fushimi’s issues and Fushimi who grudgingly respects Munakata but doesn’t worship him. By contrast I don’t really get any of that with Yata and Mikoto, I just don’t feel like Mikoto sees Yata as anything deeper than a clansman he cares about (and he has for me a much more interesting dynamic with Totsuka and Kusanagi even within Homra) and Yata himself admits that he didn’t understand Mikoto until after Mikoto died. Especially if we’re working with the canon timeline I feel like Yata’s hero worship also leaves this a bit unbalanced as a pairing, precisely because Yata doesn’t really see ‘the true Mikoto’ and while there is something interesting that could be mined out of that it just doesn’t do anything for me personally. (Honestly in general I ship Fushimi with everyone but I’m mostly ambivalent on Yata ships outside of Sarumi, YataKamamoto has its charms and the anons have made me curious about YataChitose but in general I’m not really into many other ships with him.)

[ridiasfangirlings]

Thinking of trans girl fushimi and how much more complicated her relationship with trans!F! Mikoto would be. Because mikoto obviously wouldn't put in the effort into transitioning or acting womanlike, and yet she says she's a woman and beats everyone who disagrees into submission. But also I just think it'll be funny that fushimi will get :/ about it because obviously mikoto also won't be wearing bras and does she really want to have that in common with mikoto

Imagine poor good-intentioned Yata here too, who thinks well Saruhiko is also trans so she and Mikoto-san should get along great and meanwhile Fushimi is just hating Mikoto’s guts even more XD Like I think Fushimi would definitely be projecting all the things she hates about herself onto Mikoto (which Fushimi already does in canon to an extent, that “Trying your damnest to self-destruct and not giving a rat's ass about the feelings of all the people you gathered around you who adore you... That makes you the worst kind of person, don't you think?” from The King and the Traitor comes to mind). Like Fushimi I could see being someone who’s convinced herself that she doesn’t want to ‘pass’ but really she’s just insecure, believing no one could actually see her as a girl due to all the ways Niki’s played with her self esteem. But then there’s Mikoto who truly doesn’t give a rat’s ass about passing, she dresses how she wants and acts how she wants and if anyone tries to misgender her she just shrugs and burns them. Fushimi is probably stewing about how Mikoto being like this just makes things harder for people who aren’t Kings, like it’s so easy for Mikoto to just say she is who she is and no one can do anything about it but then for someone like Fushimi it’s so much harder and she’s irritated that Mikoto doesn’t seem aware of that.

Also I think it would piss her off how easily Mikoto gets accepted in general, Fushimi who has had to deal with being referred to as a boy by basically everyone but Misaki and then here’s Mikoto, with a whole gang of people who call her ‘ma’am’ without thinking (and a feeling of ‘Misaki is the only one I had, and you had to take him away’ on top of that). Everyone at Homra is totally fine with calling Fushimi ‘she’ and treating her as a girl too and I just imagine Homra being very proper and woke to Fushimi who is internally like ‘don’t think you’re doing me a favor, you idiots’ because she’s too bitter to accept the sincere goodwill. On top of that maybe Mikoto is attempting in her own way to be helpful to baby trans Fushimi (Totsuka keeps telling her that she should, anyway) and it actually does not help at all because Fushimi feels patronized and belittled. Especially when Mikoto’s advice is things like ‘you don’t have to wear bra’ and Fushimi is mortified that they could have something in common here, muttering that she doesn’t need that kind of advice from a person like Mikoto who doesn’t have to worry about what other people think.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Hi Ridia.

I was thinking about the betrayal and how differently it was posed in S1 vs LSW. Specifically how much more gut wrenching Fushimi thought about how he wanted to cry and how much it looked like he wanted to during his burning.

But how do you think it would have gone down if he had cried. Like, tears streaming as he tells Yata he expects him to kill him. Do you think it would have snapped Yata out of his anger or worsen it?

I really like how we get the two versions of the betrayal, the anime one that’s more ‘neutral’ POV (I don’t know if I’d quite say it’s Yata POV, but it’s definitely more of a high level view of how it would look to someone who doesn’t know Fushimi’s thought process) and then the LSW one being from Fushimi’s POV where you can really see just how fucked up he is by all of this. Like to Yata it seems as if he’s simply being mocked, that Fushimi is throwing everything they had together in his face, and then from Fushimi’s point of view it’s all just suffering and struggling because Misaki doesn’t understand and all Fushimi wants to do is burn down everything that made his small world change. The Fushimi of the anime betrayal scene isn’t thinking about crying, he’s got a twisted smile and he’s enjoying the way Yata gets angry, it looks as if he’s largely in control, and then really the whole time he’s just on the edge of losing it.

I think if he’d started crying Yata would have been initially concerned, like yeah he’s mad at the way Fushimi is mocking Homra but he can’t recall ever seeing Saruhiko cry and it’s almost scary, seeing Fushimi in this state. I don’t think Fushimi would be able to properly let out his emotions even in a case like this though, I just imagine him still saying the same things to Yata with the same twisted tone and yet the whole time tears are falling down his face. Imagine him burning his tattoo and being all ‘There goes your pride, Misaki,’ smiling horribly and at the same time he can’t stop crying. Yata’s angry but also horrified, I think he would be even more confused here rather than angry because he can’t get past those tears. It probably would have lessened Yata’s anger in the moment but then Fushimi would likely respond only by escalating things to get Yata’s anger back, even as the tears keep coming.  And then later whenever Yata thinks back to the betrayal Yata finds himself wondering why was Saruhiko crying, was there something more that Fushimi wanted to say that he couldn’t bring himself to vocalize and maybe if Yata had held his temper just a bit more he could have found out. Fushimi I think would be upset and disgusted with himself for crying, like what a weakness that he let show in front of Misaki and he refuses to ever let that happen again, no matter how much he has to deaden his emotions. Whenever Yata tries to bring it up afterward Fushimi will immediately attack or start mocking Yata, talking around the situation, because he doesn’t want to accept those emotions that overwhelmed him and made him cry in the first place.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Hi Ridia,

So Yata had the watch from before betrayal right, so who the heck updated the Fushimi sprite on his watch? Did it just automatically update? Did Yata do it himself? Did Fushimi hack into it and changed it to make Yata hate him more? I have so many questions about the cute chibi. Also think about how Yata had to watch the chibishimi every time he called him during the JUNGLE mission

I wondered that myself tbh XD Honestly I could kinda see Fushimi doing that just to fuck with Yata, like this will piss Yata off and make Yata hate him more. Maybe early on right after the betrayal Fushimi notices that Yata will look at the watch sometimes or maybe even act like he’s trying to call Fushimi because this way he can see the original chibi, a cute little middle school Fushimi. Yata knows it’s kinda pathetic but he likes having that Fushimi on his watch, the one that was his best friend, and sometimes when he’s feeling lonely he’ll just stare at it for a while. Fushimi can’t have that, of course — Misaki is supposed to hate him, and if Yata thinks fondly of the old him that might get in the way of Fushimi’s desired hatred. Since Fushimi designed the watch presumably he would know how to like hack into it if needed (or he otherwise steals it, like he cuts it off Yata’s wrist during a fight and pockets it and then slips it back to Yata later). The next time Yata goes to look at his watch the cute middle school Fushimi has been replaced by tiny traitor Fushimi and Yata is pissed that his fond memories were trampled over this way. Fushimi gets to mock him about how Fushimi is his enemy now and Yata shouldn’t have good feelings towards his enemy and then they fight, and Fushimi feels like it was worth going to the trouble to change the chibi just for that (and then imagine when Fushimi’s on the jungle mission and missing Yata is almost relieved that the chibi changed, because at least he can still see ‘current’ Saruhiko this way).

[ridiasfangirlings]

Fem Saru x OG Misaki

Can you imagine joining Homra and meeting Yata, thinking how sad it is he cant talk to girls and will be a virgin all his life, just to see he has a crazy ex-girlfriend? He can’t look at a girl too long or he explodes but somehow he managed to live with Fushimi for a few years??? Also, how did he get someone so pretty to chase his saggy ass???? The newer members are so confused

Maybe everyone thinks the reason Yata can’t deal with girls is because he’s spent so much time with Fushimi, like well have you seen his ex so no wonder he swore off women. The longtime Homra guys get it, because when Yata and Fushimi joined Homra Fushimi was probably a lump of indeterminate gender who cut her hair short and always wore baggy clothes and could easily be mistaken for a guy, it’s no wonder Yata was able to handle being her best friend. But then Fushimi joins S4 and goes all in on the short skirts and cleavage baring tops and that’s what all the new Homra guys see, that Yata can’t even talk to most women but somehow he can constantly get into fights with that hot crazy chick from Scepter 4. Plus now Fushimi’s grown into her looks more and she’s actually really pretty which makes things even more confusing for the new Homra members, because clearly Yata’s look and Fushimi’s don’t match at all, how did he get this girl to even look at him. When some of the longer time members mention Yata and Fushimi used to live together everyone probably assumes they were dating and imagine Yata somehow gets a reputation from this, the main Homra guys know he’s a huge virgin but all the newbies think Yata’s some major chad who already had a girl living with him right out of middle school. Yata meanwhile is totally unaware of this except for possibly getting annoyed whenever new guys dare to call Fushimi hot, it’s not like he cares about Saruhiko or anything but don’t you dare badmouth her or I’ll kick your ass. This leads everyone to believe that Yata’s never gotten over her (well, they’re not wrong) and maybe that’s why he can’t talk to women, he’s just so into this one girl and isn’t it cool and romantic. The Homra alphabet find this pretty funny and definitely get to tease Yata about it, like everyone thinks you’re such a lothario but really the only girls you can talk to are Fushimi and Anna.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Lesbian Sarumi where Fushimi gets hit with a strain that makes her go through pregnancy symptoms and Yata thinks she somehow got her girlfriend pregnant.

Yata frantically googling ‘can your girlfriend get pregnant from a strap?’ XD Imagine Fushimi doesn’t even tell her that it’s a Strain too, because she’s cranky and annoyed about all these fake pregnancy symptoms and doesn’t want to admit that she lowered her guard and got surprised by the Strain. In light of her ‘condition’ though Munakata lets her go home early and Yata’s all concerned when she gets home from her own job to find Fushimi lying on the couch looking miserable. Fushimi complains that her feet hurt and her ankles are swollen, Yata wonders if Saruhiko had to do a lot of running today or something. Fushimi also starts requesting all kinds of strange things for dinner, like she wants Chinese but only from this one specific place that burned the sweet and sour chicken and they need to burn it again just right. Also when they’re eating Fushimi suddenly like craves some vegetables and Yata is absolutely concerned now, what if Fushimi got kidnapped and replaced by a body shifter.

The next morning Fushimi is still complaining about aches and pains and she’s got morning sickness something bad. Yata goes to buy her a heating pad and some more snacks and while she’s at the store she runs into some of the Homra alphabet. Yata explains that Saruhiko isn’t feeling well and yeah she’s had weird cravings and morning sickness and everything. Bandou grins and is like maybe you knocked her up Yata, sounds like pregnancy symptoms to me. Everyone knows that they’re both cis girls so this is absolutely teasing but Yata is horrified, like wait I can do that. Eric says Yata’s going to get her own litter of puppies and Chitose slaps her back like I didn’t think you had it in you, knocking up your girl. Yata is in an absolute panic, the idea of Strains (or Fushimi cheating on her with a guy, for that matter) doesn’t even cross her mind she’s just like shit how could I have gotten my girlfriend pregnant I thought we used protection and everything. She runs home and imagine Yata giving a very unimpressed Fushimi a whole speech about how she intends to take responsibility and help raise the baby and then Fushimi throws a pillow at her all we’re both girls you moron.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Trans woman saruhiko transitioning post betrayal bc by then she didn’t need to worry about Misaki’s opinion. He never says anything about it though and just keeps treating her relatively the same which shocks saruhiko. In reality, Misaki thinks he just mistakenly thought she was a guy the whole time and doesn’t want to give her any ammunition (“what? You really didn’t notice your best friend was girl? I knew you were dumb, but not that dumb.”)

I’ve had multiple asks where that happened so maybe it isn’t that farfetched an assumption. Like maybe Fushimi is really reluctant to tell Yata that she’s trans, especially once they become friends and get close. Niki’s always constantly mocking her for thinking she’s a girl and Fushimi has pretty much had to bury herself in the closet for her own protection. Then she meets Yata and starts placing so much store in Yata’s shining eyes and ‘amazing!’ that she can’t bring herself to tell him the truth. From Fushimi’s point of view there’s the worry that Yata won’t accept her or think she’s weird, or even worse maybe he’ll be like disgusted and totally abandon her. Plus with Yata’s issues around masculinity and women I could see Fushimi believing that if she admits that she’s actually a girl Yata wouldn’t want to hang around with her or wouldn’t be able to talk with her anymore, that she’d become an ‘other’ and everything would fall apart.

Then when she joins S4 Fushimi decides to start presenting as a girl and formally transitioning, and I could see it almost as her wanting to throw it in Yata’s face that she isn’t the person he knew. Imagine in Homra Yata always talking about how cool Mikoto is and focusing on how Homra is full of big strong guys and totally unaware the whole time that every sentence is just another knife in Fushimi’s heart. By finally showing that she’s actually a girl Fushimi thinks this will break what’s between them perfectly, surely Yata will be disgusted that she hid this from him the whole time and think she’s a weirdo or a deviant and he’ll hate her even more this way. The first time they meet post-betrayal and Fushimi is dressed in a short skirt and imagine Yata has just the smallest of pauses before being all ‘Saruhiko you traitor,’ he seems more off balance by her new hairdo than the fact that his friend is a girl now.

Every time they fight Fushimi keeps waiting for Yata to mention it and Yata never does, he’s not thrown off balance by her being a girl and he’s always just acting as if this is the same old Saruhiko. Fushimi has no idea what to think, the idea that Misaki would just accept her is probably anathema to her so she thinks maybe he’s like secretly mocking her or something but then again isn’t Misaki too stupid and honest for that. Imagine she doesn’t find out the truth until they’ve reconciled, like they start hanging out again and Yata is shocked that oh wait you’re trans…what’s that mean anyway. Fushimi is just giving him this look like you didn’t notice anything was different and Yata laughs sheepishly all I just kinda thought maybe you were always a girl and I just didn’t figure it out — well, that’s sorta correct either way though — and Yata didn’t want to look like an idiot by admitting he never knew his best friend was a girl the whole time. Fushimi isn’t sure if that makes Yata even more of an idiot or somehow circling back around to being progressive.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Everyone thinks Yata looks ridiculous in his garbage man getup (they even call it that to his face) and Yata is so upset to be told no one is going to want to be with a man wearing that, not even Fushimi. Except Fushimi is absolutely eating that outfit up. He’s starving. Everyone is flabbergasted: like of all the things he could wear that’s what gets you hot?????

No one ever said Fushimi had taste XD Imagine Yata finds his outfit at a thrift store (actual garbageman outfit or street fashion piece? No one knows). He thinks it’s the coolest thing he’s ever seen and of course he’s gotta buy it, even as the Homra guys are teasing him about it. Eric calls him a junkyard dog and Bandou is like at least don’t wear the striped shirt under it. Chitose is like if you wanted literal girl repellant I guess that’s a good choice and Yata huffs that he doesn’t want to attract girls anyway. Besides these guys just have no idea what’s cool, like all you guys look like hobos too so why should I listen to you about fashion. Chitose is like even Fushimi wouldn’t touch you in that and maybe that does give Yata momentary pause but then he’s like Saruhiko makes fun of what I wear anyway because he’s a jerk like that so it’s not like wearing this would change that. Yata is secretly a little worried that Fushimi would find it really repulsive though, Saruhiko is so fussy what if he thinks this actually is a garbageman outfit and won’t touch me until I take it off.

Then he wears it to work one day and when he gets home Fushimi happens to have stopped by. Yata thinks Fushimi must really hate this outfit because Saruhiko has never tried to tear his clothes off so fast. He figures he shouldn’t wear it again but every time Yata does Fushimi is just all over it, at some point even Yata starts to realize that Saruhiko actually kinda likes this outfit. Yata would be super smug about this to the Homra guys too, like see I told you it was a cool outfit. Chitose thinks Fushimi just likes undoing the buttons in the front because it gives him easy access and Yata gets all red as he’s like don’t say disgusting things about Saruhiko (but also yes, Fushimi does totally like that). This has Homra questioning Fushimi’s tastes even more than they already were and then they remember those horrible pants Fushimi used to wear in Homra, maybe these two really do deserve each other.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Welp…I’m back to kproject again

Fushimi surprise Misaki by wearing his middle school uniform but Misaki ended up breaking down and crying 😭

Imagine Fushimi thought this would be a sexy thing, like he’ll wear his middle school uniform and tease Yata over the old middle school crush and it will be fine, no issues. Yata’s occasionally grudgingly admitted that okay, maybe he had a thing for Fushimi in middle school and Fushimi has noticed that whenever he like comes out of the shower with his hair down the way it was when he was younger Yata tends to get a little flushed. One day when he’s cleaning in his dorm Fushimi finds his old middle school uniform and thinks this would be something amusing to show to Misaki, imagining Yata walking in on Fushimi dressed in the old uniform and how it would probably drive him wild. The old uniform still fits please eat more Saru and so Fushimi decides to let himself into Yata’s apartment one day and lounges on the bed waiting for Yata to get home.

Yata walks in and sees Fushimi sitting there in the old uniform with his hair the way it used to be and for a moment his face gets red and Fushimi grins, and then just out of nowhere Yata bursts into tears. Fushimi absolutely didn’t expect that part and he’s at a total loss as to what to do, I feel like Fushimi would just be totally unequipped to handle Yata’s tears. He’s trying to be cynical about it but Yata’s just wiping his eyes and sobbing and Fushimi is shifting all uncomfortably, he didn’t expect things to go this way. Eventually Yata manages to get ahold of himself, feeling probably pretty embarrassed that he just started crying like that. Yata didn’t even realize how emotional it would be until it happened, like seeing Fushimi there the way he was in middle school just made it hit Yata all at once how long they’d been apart before this and how things went bad between them, all the longing and the loneliness when Fushimi was gone and how in middle school it was just them against the world. Fushimi is extra awkward hearing all that, managing to even mumble out a ‘sorry’ and probably feeling all this sudden guilt because isn’t he the one who hurt Yata like that in the first place. Yata shakes his head though and says it’s okay now, they’re together again and isn’t it better now since they properly understand each other (or they’re trying to at least), it’s just seeing Fushimi like this made him really nostalgic. That’s when it occurs to Yata that hey why did you dress up like this in the first place and of course now Fushimi can’t say what he was really planning, clicking his tongue and muttering he just found it and wanted to try it on again.

[ridiasfangirlings]

how do you think eric's time in hikawa went? honestly imo i feel like it was pretty "standard" where he seemingly lived a mundane life, except he didn't go to school, he was never left alone in the house (with locks on the windows and stuff) and when going out most onlookers could see him almost always surrounded by members of hikawa and obviously the missions. i like to imagine there was a "point" system where the amount of eric's missions corresponded with how much he was fed or what liberties he was given because his killings were used as blackmail against eric either way

I hadn’t reread Eric’s chapter of MoR in a while and he really does have one of the worse backstories, especially for how little screentime he has otherwise. It’s mentioned that he became Hikawa’s ‘dog’ after his parents died, which makes me think maybe they weren’t terribly well thought of within the gang — or had some major enemies at least — so once they were gone there were no ‘bonds’ or anything that would make the remaining members want to treat Eric with anything like kindness (which also makes a nice contrast with Homra, when Mikoto dies making sure Anna is taken care of is clearly a priority for Kusanagi. Heck, even in S4 Shiotsu takes care of the twins after Habari’s death). I wonder if Eric even had any place to go, like did his family live in some gang hideout or was there at least at some point an apartment he could call his own. I could see it being the former and when his parents die he’s told that he needs to work for his keep the same way they did, the gang has no place for a useless kid who will just be a drain on resources. He’s probably moved out of wherever his parents were staying and given at most an empty room, something small and cramped with maybe a mattress at best, and basically largely kept there unless there’s a reason for him to go out. He’s quietly pulled out of school and ‘encouraged’ to break any ties he may have with friends or anything like that, basically the gang is his everything now and they expect it to stay that way. 

Besides sending him on jobs I could see Hikawa using him for random manual labor, like he gets to scrub the floors or do the laundry. No one is on his side so he gets kicked around a lot and basically reminded constantly that he has nowhere to go and that Hikawa owns him so he shouldn’t even think about running. I think they’d only really let him out alone when they’re sending him on jobs and even then I’d imagine they normally keep some level of surveillance on him (I assume the members of Hikawa had some idea that he was at Homra during the MoR, or else they figured by that point that Eric was too beaten down to get away and so didn’t even bother to contact him until a few days had passed just to remind him of who his masters were if he’d forgotten). It’s possible when he was younger he even did try to reach out to someone at some point and that person was hurt so Eric decided to keep himself aloof from people afterward, so then as he gets older Hikawa feels more secure in their hold on him so they’re more willing to let him leave on his own from time to time. Since he’s been doing dirty jobs for them they have enough blackmail material that he wouldn’t be able to get far even if he runs, and by letting him have a longer leash it makes it seem like they’re even being more benevolent to him. Eric probably gets used to sometimes sleeping outside or in random places, like this is the little freedom he has so he wants to savor it even if he knows ultimately he has to go back to Hikawa every time. It’s not until Homra that he meets people who show that they’re strong enough to break those chains and he’s able to trust someone again and really enjoy having freedom.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Stalker Fushimi breaking into Yata’s house and finding out he is a serial killer, so now Yata locks him in his basement. Fushimi is actually staying there by his own free will and making sure Yata doesn’t get caught, like a more healthy killing stalking

Jokes on Yata, Fushimi’s into that shit. Imagine Fushimi as a police officer in this AU too and Yata totally thinks Fushimi’s onto him, Fushimi is always tailing him or just showing up where Yata is (Yata just hid a body). Yata’s getting super worried, he knows he’s not the best at hiding his crimes but how did this police guy find him so fast. It looks like he’s going to have to move to desperate measures but also Yata can’t entirely bring himself to just like kill Fushimi. Maybe most of Yata’s crimes have been ‘bringing justice’ types, like yes he’s a serial killer but only to guys who deserve murdering and Yata can’t really justify murdering Fushimi just for catching on to him. What Yata can do though is lock him in the basement, which is what Yata ends up having to do one day when Fushimi straight up breaks into his house while Yata’s away. Yata catches Fushmi just as Fushmi is going through the drawers in Yata’s room, where Yata has hidden like blood gained clothes or accessories belonging to his victims. Now that Fushimi knows the secret Yata can’t let him out, so he manages to fight Fushimi into the basement and tries his best to be all menacing as he’s like I’ll keep you fed but you’re never allowed outside of here again.

What he absolutely doesn’t expect is for Fushimi to give this twisted grin as he’s like to think Misaki had such an unexpected side to him. Yata’s all huh and that’s how he learns that Fushimi actually had no idea that Yata was killing people, he was just following Yata all this time out of interest (maybe they were childhood friends and Yata moved away when they were still young, Yata’s forgotten but Fushimi is still obsessed and has been using his position to hunt Yata down for a long time). Yata thinks maybe this is some kind of creepy trap, Fushimi must be trying to play along so that when the time is right he can strike and escape. Except things keep happening where Fushimi has the perfect opening to escape and doesn’t, like Yata accidentally forgets to lock the basement door and gets waylaid escaping from the scene of one of his crimes. He’s running home, fully expecting that Fushimi’s escaped and is already on his way to report all this to the police, only to get back and find Fushimi is raiding his fridge and picking the vegetables out of Yata’s leftovers. After this imagine Fushimi keeps trying to help Yata with his killings too, like you’re too messy Misaki let me show you a better way of hiding a body. In a weird way they can bond now, like Yata still finds it a little off-putting that he locked this guy in the basement and Fushimi liked it but on the other hand Saruhiko is really smart and cool and maybe they can do this together after all.