ridiculous daily mail headlines

For those addicted to the car-crash viewing that is the Daily Mail website, everyone's favourite reputable news source

[baltyk]

Room 509, Dnipro Hotel, Kiev, Ukraine by Stephen Shore

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I can’t begrudge them this. This is great content.

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Miss Ahmad, a second-year student at Kings College, London, even included details of a legal precedent set in the 1930s to back up her case.

In her letter to Nestle, she wrote: “The loss I have suffered is of monetary and emotional significance.” She added: ''An unlimited supply of KitKat would do.”

I love her

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You are already perfect to me, Gretel

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?????

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The radio presenter revealed last week how she found the coconut crab - so-called because it can crush coconuts with its pincers - in her suitcase on her return from the Pacific island of Mogmog. The mother-of-two (left) was on the island filming a new TV show and believes the locals might have put the crab in her luggage 'as a gift'. She said later decided to release the crab (right in file image), which feeds on rats and can grow to more than 3ft long, on Hampstead Heath (inset). But her actions have now been slammed by experts, who warned the giant crab could start killing native species.     

Dog walker Clive Willis, 42, who lives in Hampstead, said he had spoken to two people this week who claimed they had seen the giant crab, with one of them saying he'd seen it up a tree.  

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I had to read this headline three times before I realised that was the whole story

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The 23-year-old from London (pictured left and bottom right), who asked not to be named, had the logo 'F*** Southern' (top right) tattooed on his leg two days ago. He is on holiday in New York and said he was inspired to have the tattoo because he hates the south coast-based train company so much.        

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I feel like it doesn’t look enough like a chicken to warrant a newspaper article, y’know?

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Bonus photo, Mr Steer and his wife Rosie demonstrating how amused they were when the thing happened with the egg:

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I feel like it doesn't look enough like a chicken to warrant a newspaper article, y'know?

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A modern classic Daily Mail headline

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Sounds like something a politician who was a giant friendly bear in a previous career would say

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Hello! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I remade my personal tumblr and essentially forgot to make myself admin of this blog again. Reminder that submissions for ridiculous Daily Mail headlines are always open.

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This headline is so patronizing it makes me want to punch a wall

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Yes Daily Mail, because attending a summit about ending sexual violence barely qualifies as proper work, and is much less important than passports...

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Ha ha, good one Daily Mail Reporter !

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I couldn’t help but think that surely Kate could have tried a little harder to keep her modesty under wraps? As a relatively seasoned member of the Royal Family, isn’t it time she made more of an effort to cover up?

After all, every woman — especially a public figure who is constantly photographed — knows that a lightweight fly-away dress and the merest threat of a breeze hardly marks the right occasion to wear the skimpiest knickers in your drawer.

Indeed, sadly I feel there is barely a part of the Duchess’s body that I haven’t seen. It’s not so long ago that Kate was snapped topless on a French holiday with William.

And while, despicably, those pictures were taken while the couple were on private property by a photographer with a long-lens camera and were not published in the British press, it’s fair to say that the Duchess was taking a risk when she walked on the terrace without her bikini top on.

Indeed, whether it’s a game of netball or the welcoming line at a charity event, it seems that Kate always manages to show us a part of her body she shouldn’t.

So Kate, let me give you a little advice. Yes, it’s all very well blaming the photographers, but you are the future Queen. It’s time you took control of this situation. Perhaps it’s time to go for a longer skirt? Or even for a pair of undies that are, shall we say, a little more substantial? 

 The Duchess does have a role model in all this: Diana, Princess of Wales. William has gone to great lengths to ensure his mother’s memory lives on in Kate. Kate wears Diana’s engagement ring. But one thing she hasn’t done is to learn from her mistakes.

I remember when the newly engaged Diana appeared in a strapless black velvet evening gown on one of her first public appearances, and her magnificent figure spilled out of the top of her dress as she got out of her car.

But such is the frequency of Kate’s wardrobe malfunctions, one can’t help but wonder what message she’s trying to send. Certainly, it’s not one that is contributing to the decorum of the Royal Family.