These past few weeks, I've been trying to heal myself. I thought, maybe, it's not about the absence of you, maybe, I was just craving attention. So, I said yes to anyone who asked me out on a date.
It was okay until the last date. This guy caught me staring for too long and took a picture of an ice skating arena, so he asked me if I wanted to go there, but I shook my head, and said, "Later.". He said, "Ok then, the next date we'll go ice skating!".
Then I realized, when I said later, I wasn't picturing myself to go ice skating with him, I was picturing you. In fact, I already opened your chatroom, about to send that arena picture to you.
Another realization came into my mind, the previous dates also were not okay. At all.
All these dates, all these attention, and all I can think about is you. This is suck.
After that, I cancelled the rest of the dates and asked my parents to go out with me instead, because I just can't stand spacing out inside my room, thinking about you.
My mom being my mom, she questioned my behavior. I told her that I just don't like to go on a date, I feel burdened, and she said that one day you'll found someone who will makes you excited to go on every single date possible with him, more than that you'll be the one who asked him out. Me being me, I just rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, sure.".
But Mom, I found him. He didn't.
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