from nothing to everything @rileejackson - Tumblr Blog

When Life Gives You Lemons...Should You Take Them?

Just when you think you have everything under control. A college degree, a good job, good friends, a decent social life, doing what you enjoy and getting better at it everyday and then, bam! Life hits you...again, and again, and again, and a— you get my point.

Life hit me hard a few months ago. Things went south at my new job and I was left to drown with no life-raft in sight. Finding odd jobs to even out my financial situation was difficult and ultimately was deemed unsuccessful. Although things were unfair and I was struggling to afford even just one meal a day, I managed to get by. I got a temporary coaching job (which I did all throughout high school) and had a buttload of time on my hands. The thing with me is that I love to be busy. I love having things to do. In addition to that, I’m constantly tired and love to do nothing but binge-watch Netflix or Hulu all day. But with having as much time on my hands as I did, I felt so worthless and unproductive that I didn’t know what to do anymore.

Shortly after, I made a bold decision. One that scared me (still does) and forced me to swallow my pride a little and accept failure. That bold, scary, and tough decision was to take my sister and brother-in-law up on their offer on letting me live with them in Philadelphia. June rolled around and I found myself packing the last few boxes of all the crap I had in my room. I made the trek to Virginia, where I would be spending the month of July visiting home and old friends and basically trying to get my life back on track; which reminds me, thanks mom for letting me crash. Before getting to VA, I met my family in Myrtle Beach, SC for a family vacation. Although I got sunburn within the first two days of a week long beach vacation, it was nice and much needed for all of us. It was also the first vacation we had since 2013 so it was long overdue.

Me and my sisters at Alligator Adventure in Myrtle Beach, SC

Facing reality after vacation is hard enough. Facing reality while being back in the same house you grew up in after being 800 miles away and on your own for the last four years is even harder. Being from a small country town, you know someone by either personal connections, acquaintances, or through a mutual friend. Or you’re related. The point is, the word about anything and everything gets around fast. So it’s fair to say that I feel like I’m being judged. I feel like people are thinking, “Oh there’s Rilee, she’s back. She couldn’t make it in the real world. She failed.” Add some finger-pointing and laughter and you now know what's been going on in my head for the last month. Are people really doing that? Probably not, at least not everyone. I’m sure there are people who aren’t too fond of me for whatever reason and are kind of glad to see me back home because I did fail. I really did. Ultimately it wasn’t my fault for how things happened with my job nor was it in my control. I just believed in something good and put all of my trust and dedication into it and failed. Life handed me lemons and I took them.

You can say that my mental state hasn't been the greatest in the recent months in spite of everything. My stress level has been at an all time high and I know those around me have been stressed because of my situation as well. Around my first week of being back home, I sat in Starbucks 8 hours a day just sending out cold-emails to managers, bands, venues, and anyone else I could contact about shooting local shows both here in VA, but also in Philly later in the year. Out of about 100 emails, I got maybe 10-15 responses (typical and expected).

You know how “it’s all about who you know”? Well, I finally found that to be true. Capstan, an Orlando band, is playing the Final Vans’ Warped Tour which was making a stop in Virginia Beach on July 12th. Since they’re smaller, I wondered if they had a photographer with them during the tour. Less than a week before the VA date and ready for rejection, I decided to text my good friend Tony who photographs them often. I simply asked if they had a photographer for that date and if not, what the chances were of me shooting for them? We talked and he reached out to Boz (bassist, whom I met literally twice a month prior) for me and sent him my work. Funnily enough, Boz actually texted Tony about Florida Warped dates at the same time I texted him about the VA date. Not even 24 hours later, he texted me saying, “You’re in! He put you on the list!” I was at lunch with my sister and brother and literally freaked out while we were in the middle of a conversation. I was shooting WARPED TOUR....the FINAL WARPED TOUR. Not only that, but it was my first Warped Tour ever AND I got to shoot it! That’s INSANE.

Capstan

I got to Warped, got my photo pass, met up with Boz, found out that I had access to shoot any band (score), and I finally met my friend Alex Smith! Alex is the merch guy for Sleep On It and writes bomb-ass tour journals. We've been mutuals on Twitter for a while so check him out! I also got to meet one photographer I really admire, Dieter Unrath. He was nice enough to take some time out of his day to talk with me which was a lot of fun so check him out as well!

Alex (Fucking) Smith and Me

YUNGBLUD

Mosh pit during Simple Plan’s set at Warped Tour

Awsten Knight of Waterparks

State Champs

The next day I had to be in Richmond for A Story Told’s show at the Canal Club. Despite the fact I was insanely dehydrated and spent most of my Friday the 13th hugging a trash can, I had a lot of fun meeting and shooting the guys of AST. A week later I was back the same venue to shoot House & Home.

A Story Told at Canal Club

A Story Told on The Canal Trail (...I think that’s the name)

House & Home at Canal Club

It’s nearing the end of July and I feel better about where I’m at and hopeful for the future. Like everything else, making my mark on Philly and the music scene up north will be hard-work, but I’m excited to get my footing there like I did in Orlando. I’m trying to look at it as me expanding my work and my name rather than me having to start over. It’s hard and I’m struggling, but I’m slowly figuring things out and feeling better about things overall.

So back to the question at hand: when life hands you lemons, should you take them? From my experience, yes. If this last year has taught me anything, it’d be that everything happens for a reason. If things worked out with my job, I wouldn’t have been able to shoot a bunch of bands at warped tour, meet the people I got to meet, make the connections in the music scene in Richmond, and I definitely wouldn’t have made the bold choice to move to Philly. I move there in about three weeks and I’m nervous, but excited.

Moving to Orlando at 17, a month after high school graduation was a risk. I’ve made many decisions, good and bad, and I’ve struggled more than one could ever imagine...but I wouldn’t change a thing about how I did it or when. More and more everyday I believe that things happen for a reason and that failure means you’re trying. When life hands you lemons, take them. Take the risk that comes with them. Prepare for failure and be ready to struggle. Expect the unexpected. Make the most of what you have and get creative. It’s easier said than done and some times will be harder than others, but so far, I’ve found that it’s worth it.

IT’S TIME

July 20, 2014. That was the day I said my goodbyes to family and friends in Virginia and made the long 12 hour drive to Florida. At age 17, nearly a month after graduating high school, I moved to Orlando not knowing a soul. It was definitely the most terrifying thing that I’ve ever done, but hands down the best choice I’ve ever made. Just days after moving, my car broke down on the side of the road during a hot summer day due to the transmission. I remember I didn’t call my mom, not until I got home safely hours later. I took care of things on my own, took care of the insurance, and was able to get my car towed back to my apartment where I was finally able to shower after sitting in a hot car while wearing yoga pants and a tank top for six hours.

September 29, 2017. This is the day I graduate from Full Sail University with a Bachelors degree in Digital Cinematography, just three weeks after turning 21. To say I am happy is an understatement. Words can’t describe how much I’ve grown as an artist and overall person within three years. Those three years consisted of changing my major, experiencing a true love, experiencing a true heartbreak, ending toxic friendships and starting new and healthier ones, becoming confident in my work and proving my self worth to myself. The people that I’ve met along the way have opened so many doors for me. If it weren’t for me moving to Orlando to be a campus student studying Show Production; if it weren’t for me changing my major ten months later; if it weren’t for my final project, I would have never met the guys of FELICITY. If it wasn’t for FELICITY, I wouldn’t have met other photographers and videographers or have gotten the awesome video internship at the place I now call my job. If it wasn’t for the internship, then I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now or getting the opportunities I’m getting. I wouldn’t be doing what I love. When I first moved to Orlando, I felt like it was right, but I also knew I was still very young. A lot of people doubted me including myself. There were many times where I considered moving back home, but I thought that I would be viewed as a failure if I did. However, as a lot of you know, I come from a very independent group of women and if it weren’t for them, I would not have been able to make this move when I did and I would not have been able to stay and experience all that I have. If it weren’t for them, I would have moved back home the many times I thought I failed.

I’ve never been as proud of myself as I am now and I honestly haven’t felt this happy in a long time. Sure not everything is perfect. Things still need improvement, but that’s okay. I think that’s what a lot of us forget sometimes so we see it as a weakness.

To those who have a passion that truly moves them, a passion that they can pour themselves in to for hours and hours to the point they lose track of time, make that passion a reality. Go for it. It’s possible as long as you want it and understand the amount of work it will take to get there. I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy, not one bit, but believe me it’s so worth it. At times it will seem like the world is totally against you and you’ll see signs telling you to give up. Don’t give into it. Stick to it and you will come out better than ever. When pursuing your passion, you meet people that have the same interests as you. You naturally surround yourself with positivity and good vibes. As a result, you motivate, help, and guide each other and end up being better at your craft than you could have ever imagined. There will always be obstacles in your path. There will always be a reason to not do something. Overcome those obstacles, think about the positive possible outcomes and allow the negativity to do nothing but motivate. Set small goals in order to reach your main goals.

Your dreams can be your reality. You just have to truly want it.