how to okcupid like a champ by stylingonlife:
a forewarning, online dating isnât for everyone. itâs easy to glance at every profile and feel like everyone is a lameass because, just being honest, 90% of okcupid users are lame af and thatâs why theyâre being nerds that gotta go online to get pussy/dick haha fuckin losers. donât be one of those losers â or maybe you are one of those losers, but just listen to me and you wonât seem like it.
after this youâll be pullin pussy from the very same chair you jerkoff and cry in.
this is where a lot of people fuck up the hardest which is sad because itâs 50% of what you can control in your online dating world.
you have to be general. you arenât trying to turn hotties off cuz you hate everything. just say you like shit. donât say too much shit though â just your essentials.
this is what mine looks like:
itâs simple, itâs easy to read, itâs what i like.
i said not to say shit you hate, but if you canât stand something itâs ok to make that known up front. for example, iâll pass on pussy if i have to listen to some yung lean fuccboi bullshit to get there.
try to be funny and donât try too hard. everyone is looking for someone thatâll make em laugh. and donât be an intelligent dickwad that is going to use full sentences cuz you donât want kids thinking you curated your fuckinâ profile â itâs gotta look effortless because people that try too hard in real life just fucking suck at being lovers.
extra tip: throwing in a recurring tidbit in my profile has gotten me many messages like i mention drake 2 or 3 times in my profile because it makes it easy for some girl to message me and be like âNOTHING WAS THE SAMEâ like holy shit yeah that was his album! but i guess youâre cute so why not.
Part 1b. Profile (Picture)
Just get your most popular friends of the opposite gender to pick your cutest photos from your facebook and youâre set.
if you donât have a facebook, well donât post selfies is all i can say. selfies are effing lame and i wonât message people who post selfies because it probably means theyâre boring and in the 90% of dorks on the website.
itâs even ok to post shirtless pictures of yourself as long as they arenât selfies. okcupid did this study on who gets messaged the most and shirtless dudes (note: not shirtless selfies) get a shitload of messages. so i got my suitemate to take this super douchey photo of me that i 100% posed for but iâd get at least one message a week saying âHOWâD YOU GET THE FLAME SO HIGHâ
spoiler: slow shutter speed
Do not message someone with âHeyâ âHiâ âWhatâs upâ or anything of that sort. A lot of my girl friends that use okcupid get upwards of 30 messages a day and if they see that in their email, theyâre gonna skip by it even if youâve got the body of Ryan Lochte.
try to read their profile a bit and pick out something that sticks out to you. bitches like a dude that cares enough to read.
iâll usually throw in my two cents about something a girl listed in her likes like if they said death grips iâll be like âGET GET GET GET GOT GOT GOT GOT sup witchuâ and thatâs usually good enough to set you apart.
after this point youâre on your own â i canât teach you how to not be a retard.
this is where weâre moving to the big leagues of online dating strategy.
at what times are the most singles on this site? friday and saturday nights as ladies be eating haagen dazs pints watching netflix in their ugly panties by themselves and are wondering why they arenât out with their boyfriends like all their hotter friends are. holidays too where everyone be at family gatherings with significant others and they feelin extra lonely at the kiddie/singles table.
take advantage of their loneliness. a lot of girls sign up for OKC during these times and you can sort users by âNewestâ so use that feature.
Sunday/Saturday mornings work similarly well because girls are gonna sign off after a night and wake up eager to see if anyone messaged them on their latest little guilty pleasure. [[sidenote: donât list your most private thing youâre willing to admit to be the fact you joined okcupid you unoriginal lameass.]]
If you have time, use this feature I canât stress it enough. Going through quickmatch and just rating girls you like as 5 stars and girls you donât like as 3 stars will get your profile noticed. I donât know how the okcupid visibility settings work exactly but when i go through 20 profiles and rate each one, iâll get more visitors in the next couple days guaranteed. okcupid rewards users that are active on their site.
also, if you rate a girl 4/5 stars and they rate you back, okcupid will notify both of you that you like each other. you can be an idiot at this point and still lay the pipe as long as youâve got a bedroom.
rating a girl 3 stars wonât notify them you like them if they rate you back, it will just get them out of your quickmatch. skipping will put them back in your queue eventually.
i have a few other general tips but iâm sure this should give anyone a good starting point for OKC or give you a heads-up on how to be an okchamp. send asks if you want for more specific tips nd shit but iâm posting it all public so other nerds can laugh at how incompetent you are.
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