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Strange that I don't have a problem with Rachel Dolezal...
She’s lived as a black woman in a racist country for years. If she is willing to put up with the headaches that come with that. Let her identify as whatever she pleases.
hey, do you really think it's appropriate to call Caitlyn Jenner "Bruce" and use male pronouns for her?
Hi saminal, long time no talk.
From VF itself: “Bissinger apologizes to Jenner for repeated pronoun confusion and asks whether she is sensitive about it. “I don’t really get hung up,” she tells him.”
Jenner doesn’t care about pronouns and the lot of you care a lot more.
Do I think it’s appropriate to call Jenner Bruce?
After a lifetime of building a career on male athleticism in which women weren’t allowed to race, after a lifetime of being honest about being a crappy, absentee father (ooh that one hits me on a personal level), a lifetime of impregnating women over and over and over again, after having no respect for his daughters and taking their clothing and wearing it like a total fucking creep, after spending his previous days alongside Reagan and financially supporting him while the AIDS epidemic took the lives of LGBT people left right and center, after exposing his new breasts to his son in a totally inappropriate “Look at me!” moment, after a lifetime of Republican politics and voting…
You think I owe this person respect? You think I owe Bruce “Caitlyn”? You think someone can spend a life being a garbage human male and STILL is entitled to being called a woman’s name after his newfound ~womanhood~?
Do you think it’s appropriate for you, a straight white male, to be messaging A WOMAN about what language they apply to people like Jenner? Do you honestly think this is the best you can do, as a man, for women? What is wrong with you?
Stay in your lane. You’re being a trash male ally.
if being a male ally means giving transphobia a pass i’m gonna have to be a trash male ally
your criticisms of Caitlyn are valid, i never tried to defend her as a person, but misgendering is an act of violence and if your feminism involves violence against trans women it’s trash feminism (i can say trash toooo)
also just because a trans person says “i don’t get hung up on pronouns” that still doesn’t mean it’s cool to deliberately misgender them. you can’t just use that as an excuse.
i don’t wanna argue this with you because i KNOW you’re a super educated really good at arguing radfem and everything, and my hands get shaky and i can’t type properly when i try to explain to people why i disagree with them, but i just wanted to get more than one sentence in. long time no talk, i hope.
landmerbabe, queer brown woman here!!
you’re a fucking shit human being for intentionally misgendering anyone, especially because you don’t like them. like others have informed you, landmerbabe, misgendering trans folks is an act of violence, and i’m here to tell you it is an act of violence against ALL trans people when you misgender ANY trans person, especially on such a public forum.
you’re a trash human being, landmerbabe. absolute trash. utter garbage. you are undeniably a landfill of shit.
THANK YOU. Exactly, here she is, a self proclaimed “rad femme” saying that it doesn’t matter if she’s misgenders someone. IF YOUR FEMINISM ISNT TRANS INCLUSIVE AND SUPPORTIVE, THEN WHAT IS IT WORTH. saminal, you’re absolutely right for calling them out.
Do the lot of you feel better now that all that is outta yr system?
Yeah, Landmerbabe. Don’t you know that misgendering someone is akin to violence, like, say, smashing into someone with your car and killing them?
Ok, so you are now a male and I am calling you Todd for the rest of your life, even though you want to be known by a different name and gender. And you can never stop it. And every time someone says it you get upset, because you know you’re not this person and you want to be viewed differently. Everyone will know you by that name now. Doesn’t that fucking suck? Yeah. It does.
Todd? I’ll take it! It’s a step up from ‘nigger’ or ‘shut your chicken eating nigger lips!’ or ‘nice tits, nigger’ or ‘black bitch’ or ‘ugly black bitch’ or any variation of. As for being called ‘he’ go right on ahead. I get ‘sirred’ all the time in public because I’m a black woman with a bald head and who dresses like warehouse worker all the time. Sure it sucks but you know what I don’t do when I get ‘sirred’? Fall into a puddle of rage and sorrow lol.
Did you miss the point of every single thing I said? I’m sorry you face racism, that’s completely and totally unfair and I recognize that I can never experience that injustice as a white woman. But that has nothing to do with purposely using the wrong pronouns because you disagree with someone. It’s wrong. And because the world treats you unfairly with racism you’re going to be mad at TRANS PEOPLE? Be angry at the racists.
I didn’t post this to have you feel sorry for me, but I may have made this too personal and have gone too far. My point is being misgendered is objectively not the worst thing that can happen to someone and that taking something as petty as this and calling it ‘violence’ only trivializes the word. The only reason you’re doing this is because you think it gives you authority to tell people how to speak.
No, listen here. Just because it’s “not the worst” doesn’t mean it’s not wrong, that’s bullshit excuse making. It’s still violence, and violence comes in all different forms. Say it triggers someone and they decide to kill themselves because you thought it “wasn’t the worst thing” to do to them because you didn’t like them? I call bullshit. And you’re a shit stirrer who changed your URL to “TODD” when I was trying to make a valid point about misgendering people. You’re a trash feminist who thinks it okay to misgender people because they deserve it? That just bullshit. And yes, the racism you’ve experienced is unfair but it seems you’ve forgotten about all the TRANS BLACK people who also have to go through that experience every day as WELL as being misgendered and murdered. And you still think it’s not an act of violence to misgender people? Please.
Actually I’m not a feminist at all. Not that I have anything against feminism. I just don’t know enough about it to call myself a feminist. I believe in equality, sure. But I also believe that no one has the right to be included everywhere, and just because you may be excluded from one instance doesn’t make those that exclude you bigots. Even landmerbabe holds positions I don’t agree with.
Yeah, the Todd thing was a joke because I tend not to take myself seriously. But it was petty and I changed it back.
I don’t know where you got I think that people ‘deserved’ to get misgendered. You’re making up stuff. Calm down. No, I don’t think misgendering people is an act of violence. I know why people insist that it is because it hurts them, but objectively speaking it is not. But calling it that only cheapens any argument we can have on the issue and prevents any possible understanding of the other side.
OK, my final word on this post. Violence is just not physical. And I personally don’t believe it weakens the argument, if anything it strengthens it. Just, misgendering someone is wrong and I feel like landmerbabe calling herself a rad femme but refusing to adhere to someone’s pronouns is not good feminism. If anything, that’s trans exclusive feminism. Definitely not rad femme. And we’re all better than misgendering someone because we don’t agree with them.
Alright. I understand your position and your last word, so I’m not trying to antagonize you to say more. But this is my position: removing the physical component of violence while knowingly using its immediate impression of physical harm is dishonest and cheap. Leaning so heavily on the ambiguity of words as to render them almost meaningless just to police speech/beliefs you don’t like doesn’t make things better. It just breeds another species of resentment.
hey, do you really think it's appropriate to call Caitlyn Jenner "Bruce" and use male pronouns for her?
Hi saminal, long time no talk.
From VF itself: “Bissinger apologizes to Jenner for repeated pronoun confusion and asks whether she is sensitive about it. “I don’t really get hung up,” she tells him.”
Jenner doesn’t care about pronouns and the lot of you care a lot more.
Do I think it’s appropriate to call Jenner Bruce?
After a lifetime of building a career on male athleticism in which women weren’t allowed to race, after a lifetime of being honest about being a crappy, absentee father (ooh that one hits me on a personal level), a lifetime of impregnating women over and over and over again, after having no respect for his daughters and taking their clothing and wearing it like a total fucking creep, after spending his previous days alongside Reagan and financially supporting him while the AIDS epidemic took the lives of LGBT people left right and center, after exposing his new breasts to his son in a totally inappropriate “Look at me!” moment, after a lifetime of Republican politics and voting…
You think I owe this person respect? You think I owe Bruce “Caitlyn”? You think someone can spend a life being a garbage human male and STILL is entitled to being called a woman’s name after his newfound ~womanhood~?
Do you think it’s appropriate for you, a straight white male, to be messaging A WOMAN about what language they apply to people like Jenner? Do you honestly think this is the best you can do, as a man, for women? What is wrong with you?
Stay in your lane. You’re being a trash male ally.
if being a male ally means giving transphobia a pass i’m gonna have to be a trash male ally
your criticisms of Caitlyn are valid, i never tried to defend her as a person, but misgendering is an act of violence and if your feminism involves violence against trans women it’s trash feminism (i can say trash toooo)
also just because a trans person says “i don’t get hung up on pronouns” that still doesn’t mean it’s cool to deliberately misgender them. you can’t just use that as an excuse.
i don’t wanna argue this with you because i KNOW you’re a super educated really good at arguing radfem and everything, and my hands get shaky and i can’t type properly when i try to explain to people why i disagree with them, but i just wanted to get more than one sentence in. long time no talk, i hope.
landmerbabe, queer brown woman here!!
you’re a fucking shit human being for intentionally misgendering anyone, especially because you don’t like them. like others have informed you, landmerbabe, misgendering trans folks is an act of violence, and i’m here to tell you it is an act of violence against ALL trans people when you misgender ANY trans person, especially on such a public forum.
you’re a trash human being, landmerbabe. absolute trash. utter garbage. you are undeniably a landfill of shit.
THANK YOU. Exactly, here she is, a self proclaimed “rad femme” saying that it doesn’t matter if she’s misgenders someone. IF YOUR FEMINISM ISNT TRANS INCLUSIVE AND SUPPORTIVE, THEN WHAT IS IT WORTH. saminal, you’re absolutely right for calling them out.
Do the lot of you feel better now that all that is outta yr system?
Yeah, Landmerbabe. Don’t you know that misgendering someone is akin to violence, like, say, smashing into someone with your car and killing them?
Ok, so you are now a male and I am calling you Todd for the rest of your life, even though you want to be known by a different name and gender. And you can never stop it. And every time someone says it you get upset, because you know you’re not this person and you want to be viewed differently. Everyone will know you by that name now. Doesn’t that fucking suck? Yeah. It does.
Todd? I’ll take it! It’s a step up from ‘nigger’ or ‘shut your chicken eating nigger lips!’ or ‘nice tits, nigger’ or ‘black bitch’ or ‘ugly black bitch’ or any variation of. As for being called ‘he’ go right on ahead. I get ‘sirred’ all the time in public because I’m a black woman with a bald head and who dresses like warehouse worker all the time. Sure it sucks but you know what I don’t do when I get ‘sirred’? Fall into a puddle of rage and sorrow lol.
Did you miss the point of every single thing I said? I’m sorry you face racism, that’s completely and totally unfair and I recognize that I can never experience that injustice as a white woman. But that has nothing to do with purposely using the wrong pronouns because you disagree with someone. It’s wrong. And because the world treats you unfairly with racism you’re going to be mad at TRANS PEOPLE? Be angry at the racists.
I didn’t post this to have you feel sorry for me, but I may have made this too personal and have gone too far. My point is being misgendered is objectively not the worst thing that can happen to someone and that taking something as petty as this and calling it ‘violence’ only trivializes the word. The only reason you’re doing this is because you think it gives you authority to tell people how to speak.
No, listen here. Just because it’s “not the worst” doesn’t mean it’s not wrong, that’s bullshit excuse making. It’s still violence, and violence comes in all different forms. Say it triggers someone and they decide to kill themselves because you thought it “wasn’t the worst thing” to do to them because you didn’t like them? I call bullshit. And you’re a shit stirrer who changed your URL to “TODD” when I was trying to make a valid point about misgendering people. You’re a trash feminist who thinks it okay to misgender people because they deserve it? That just bullshit. And yes, the racism you’ve experienced is unfair but it seems you’ve forgotten about all the TRANS BLACK people who also have to go through that experience every day as WELL as being misgendered and murdered. And you still think it’s not an act of violence to misgender people? Please.
Actually I’m not a feminist at all. Not that I have anything against feminism. I just don’t know enough about it to call myself a feminist. I believe in equality, sure. But I also believe that no one has the right to be included everywhere, and just because you may be excluded from one instance doesn’t make those that exclude you bigots. Even landmerbabe holds positions I don’t agree with.
Yeah, the Todd thing was a joke because I tend not to take myself seriously. But it was petty and I changed it back.
I don’t know where you got I think that people ‘deserved’ to get misgendered. You’re making up stuff. Calm down. No, I don’t think misgendering people is an act of violence. I know why people insist that it is because it hurts them, but objectively speaking it is not. But calling it that only cheapens any argument we can have on the issue and prevents any possible understanding of the other side.
hey, do you really think it's appropriate to call Caitlyn Jenner "Bruce" and use male pronouns for her?
Hi saminal, long time no talk.
From VF itself: “Bissinger apologizes to Jenner for repeated pronoun confusion and asks whether she is sensitive about it. “I don’t really get hung up,” she tells him.”
Jenner doesn’t care about pronouns and the lot of you care a lot more.
Do I think it’s appropriate to call Jenner Bruce?
After a lifetime of building a career on male athleticism in which women weren’t allowed to race, after a lifetime of being honest about being a crappy, absentee father (ooh that one hits me on a personal level), a lifetime of impregnating women over and over and over again, after having no respect for his daughters and taking their clothing and wearing it like a total fucking creep, after spending his previous days alongside Reagan and financially supporting him while the AIDS epidemic took the lives of LGBT people left right and center, after exposing his new breasts to his son in a totally inappropriate “Look at me!” moment, after a lifetime of Republican politics and voting…
You think I owe this person respect? You think I owe Bruce “Caitlyn”? You think someone can spend a life being a garbage human male and STILL is entitled to being called a woman’s name after his newfound ~womanhood~?
Do you think it’s appropriate for you, a straight white male, to be messaging A WOMAN about what language they apply to people like Jenner? Do you honestly think this is the best you can do, as a man, for women? What is wrong with you?
Stay in your lane. You’re being a trash male ally.
if being a male ally means giving transphobia a pass i’m gonna have to be a trash male ally
your criticisms of Caitlyn are valid, i never tried to defend her as a person, but misgendering is an act of violence and if your feminism involves violence against trans women it’s trash feminism (i can say trash toooo)
also just because a trans person says “i don’t get hung up on pronouns” that still doesn’t mean it’s cool to deliberately misgender them. you can’t just use that as an excuse.
i don’t wanna argue this with you because i KNOW you’re a super educated really good at arguing radfem and everything, and my hands get shaky and i can’t type properly when i try to explain to people why i disagree with them, but i just wanted to get more than one sentence in. long time no talk, i hope.
landmerbabe, queer brown woman here!!
you’re a fucking shit human being for intentionally misgendering anyone, especially because you don’t like them. like others have informed you, landmerbabe, misgendering trans folks is an act of violence, and i’m here to tell you it is an act of violence against ALL trans people when you misgender ANY trans person, especially on such a public forum.
you’re a trash human being, landmerbabe. absolute trash. utter garbage. you are undeniably a landfill of shit.
THANK YOU. Exactly, here she is, a self proclaimed “rad femme” saying that it doesn’t matter if she’s misgenders someone. IF YOUR FEMINISM ISNT TRANS INCLUSIVE AND SUPPORTIVE, THEN WHAT IS IT WORTH. saminal, you’re absolutely right for calling them out.
Do the lot of you feel better now that all that is outta yr system?
Yeah, Landmerbabe. Don’t you know that misgendering someone is akin to violence, like, say, smashing into someone with your cat and killing them?
Ok, so you are now a male and I am calling you Todd for the rest of your life, even though you want to be known by a different name and gender. And you can never stop it. And every time someone says it you get upset, because you know you’re not this person and you want to be viewed differently. Everyone will know you by that name now. Doesn’t that fucking suck? Yeah. It does.
Todd? I’ll take it! It’s a step up from ‘nigger’ or ‘shut your chicken eating nigger lips!’ or ‘nice tits, nigger’ or ‘black bitch’ or ‘ugly black bitch’ or any variation of. As for being called ‘he’ go right on ahead. I get ‘sirred’ all the time in public because I’m a black woman with a bald head and who dresses like warehouse worker all the time. Sure it sucks but you know what I don’t do when I get ‘sirred’? Fall into a puddle of rage and sorrow lol.
Did you miss the point of every single thing I said? I’m sorry you face racism, that’s completely and totally unfair and I recognize that I can never experience that injustice as a white woman. But that has nothing to do with purposely using the wrong pronouns because you disagree with someone. It’s wrong. And because the world treats you unfairly with racism you’re going to be mad at TRANS PEOPLE? Be angry at the racists.
I didn’t post this to have you feel sorry for me, but I may have made this too personal and have gone too far. My point is being misgendered is objectively not the worst thing that can happen to someone and that taking something as petty as this and calling it ‘violence’ only trivializes the word. The only reason you’re doing this is because you think it gives you authority to tell people how to speak.
You didn’t make it too personal, you just derailed it. You took a discussion about transphobia and made it a discussion about racism. That’s a different discussion.
Also you should already know that microaggressions are a thing and violence doesn’t have to be catastrophic to be wrong. Violence is violence, regardless of whether it’s a slap in the face or a bullet in the head, a racist slur or misgendering. You can’t say that something’s not wrong because something else is wrong.
You’re right. I shouldn’t have taken it there. I admit that.
Microaggressions exist, but overreactions leading to try you to control what someone speaks and thinks is also aggressive and just as wrong. I never said misgendering wasn’t wrong. I am saying that calling it ‘violence’ is intellectually dishonest and manipulative. If you really want to address what misgendering does to people and have a discussion about it, then let’s try to do that. But if someone doesn’t agree that your need to have your perceptions accepted trumps their personal beliefs, values, opinions, standards, judgments, perceptions--which they believe are just as well reasoned as yours--saying that their disagreement is just as violent as sending a bullet through your head is monstrously passive aggressive and just as offensive.
hey, do you really think it's appropriate to call Caitlyn Jenner "Bruce" and use male pronouns for her?
Hi saminal, long time no talk.
From VF itself: “Bissinger apologizes to Jenner for repeated pronoun confusion and asks whether she is sensitive about it. “I don’t really get hung up,” she tells him.”
Jenner doesn’t care about pronouns and the lot of you care a lot more.
Do I think it’s appropriate to call Jenner Bruce?
After a lifetime of building a career on male athleticism in which women weren’t allowed to race, after a lifetime of being honest about being a crappy, absentee father (ooh that one hits me on a personal level), a lifetime of impregnating women over and over and over again, after having no respect for his daughters and taking their clothing and wearing it like a total fucking creep, after spending his previous days alongside Reagan and financially supporting him while the AIDS epidemic took the lives of LGBT people left right and center, after exposing his new breasts to his son in a totally inappropriate “Look at me!” moment, after a lifetime of Republican politics and voting…
You think I owe this person respect? You think I owe Bruce “Caitlyn”? You think someone can spend a life being a garbage human male and STILL is entitled to being called a woman’s name after his newfound ~womanhood~?
Do you think it’s appropriate for you, a straight white male, to be messaging A WOMAN about what language they apply to people like Jenner? Do you honestly think this is the best you can do, as a man, for women? What is wrong with you?
Stay in your lane. You’re being a trash male ally.
if being a male ally means giving transphobia a pass i’m gonna have to be a trash male ally
your criticisms of Caitlyn are valid, i never tried to defend her as a person, but misgendering is an act of violence and if your feminism involves violence against trans women it’s trash feminism (i can say trash toooo)
also just because a trans person says “i don’t get hung up on pronouns” that still doesn’t mean it’s cool to deliberately misgender them. you can’t just use that as an excuse.
i don’t wanna argue this with you because i KNOW you’re a super educated really good at arguing radfem and everything, and my hands get shaky and i can’t type properly when i try to explain to people why i disagree with them, but i just wanted to get more than one sentence in. long time no talk, i hope.
landmerbabe, queer brown woman here!!
you’re a fucking shit human being for intentionally misgendering anyone, especially because you don’t like them. like others have informed you, landmerbabe, misgendering trans folks is an act of violence, and i’m here to tell you it is an act of violence against ALL trans people when you misgender ANY trans person, especially on such a public forum.
you’re a trash human being, landmerbabe. absolute trash. utter garbage. you are undeniably a landfill of shit.
THANK YOU. Exactly, here she is, a self proclaimed “rad femme” saying that it doesn’t matter if she’s misgenders someone. IF YOUR FEMINISM ISNT TRANS INCLUSIVE AND SUPPORTIVE, THEN WHAT IS IT WORTH. saminal, you’re absolutely right for calling them out.
Do the lot of you feel better now that all that is outta yr system?
Yeah, Landmerbabe. Don’t you know that misgendering someone is akin to violence, like, say, smashing into someone with your car and killing them?
Ok, so you are now a male and I am calling you Todd for the rest of your life, even though you want to be known by a different name and gender. And you can never stop it. And every time someone says it you get upset, because you know you’re not this person and you want to be viewed differently. Everyone will know you by that name now. Doesn’t that fucking suck? Yeah. It does.
Todd? I’ll take it! It’s a step up from ‘nigger’ or ‘shut your chicken eating nigger lips!’ or ‘nice tits, nigger’ or ‘black bitch’ or ‘ugly black bitch’ or any variation of. As for being called ‘he’ go right on ahead. I get ‘sirred’ all the time in public because I’m a black woman with a bald head and who dresses like warehouse worker all the time. Sure it sucks but you know what I don’t do when I get ‘sirred’? Fall into a puddle of rage and sorrow lol.
Did you miss the point of every single thing I said? I’m sorry you face racism, that’s completely and totally unfair and I recognize that I can never experience that injustice as a white woman. But that has nothing to do with purposely using the wrong pronouns because you disagree with someone. It’s wrong. And because the world treats you unfairly with racism you’re going to be mad at TRANS PEOPLE? Be angry at the racists.
I didn't post this to have you feel sorry for me, but I may have made this too personal and have gone too far. My point is being misgendered is objectively not the worst thing that can happen to someone and that taking something as petty as this and calling it 'violence' only trivializes the word. The only reason you're doing this is because you think it gives you authority to tell people how to speak.
hey, do you really think it's appropriate to call Caitlyn Jenner "Bruce" and use male pronouns for her?
Hi saminal, long time no talk.
From VF itself: “Bissinger apologizes to Jenner for repeated pronoun confusion and asks whether she is sensitive about it. “I don’t really get hung up,” she tells him.”
Jenner doesn’t care about pronouns and the lot of you care a lot more.
Do I think it’s appropriate to call Jenner Bruce?
After a lifetime of building a career on male athleticism in which women weren’t allowed to race, after a lifetime of being honest about being a crappy, absentee father (ooh that one hits me on a personal level), a lifetime of impregnating women over and over and over again, after having no respect for his daughters and taking their clothing and wearing it like a total fucking creep, after spending his previous days alongside Reagan and financially supporting him while the AIDS epidemic took the lives of LGBT people left right and center, after exposing his new breasts to his son in a totally inappropriate “Look at me!” moment, after a lifetime of Republican politics and voting…
You think I owe this person respect? You think I owe Bruce “Caitlyn”? You think someone can spend a life being a garbage human male and STILL is entitled to being called a woman’s name after his newfound ~womanhood~?
Do you think it’s appropriate for you, a straight white male, to be messaging A WOMAN about what language they apply to people like Jenner? Do you honestly think this is the best you can do, as a man, for women? What is wrong with you?
Stay in your lane. You’re being a trash male ally.
if being a male ally means giving transphobia a pass i’m gonna have to be a trash male ally
your criticisms of Caitlyn are valid, i never tried to defend her as a person, but misgendering is an act of violence and if your feminism involves violence against trans women it’s trash feminism (i can say trash toooo)
also just because a trans person says “i don’t get hung up on pronouns” that still doesn’t mean it’s cool to deliberately misgender them. you can’t just use that as an excuse.
i don’t wanna argue this with you because i KNOW you’re a super educated really good at arguing radfem and everything, and my hands get shaky and i can’t type properly when i try to explain to people why i disagree with them, but i just wanted to get more than one sentence in. long time no talk, i hope.
landmerbabe, queer brown woman here!!
you’re a fucking shit human being for intentionally misgendering anyone, especially because you don’t like them. like others have informed you, landmerbabe, misgendering trans folks is an act of violence, and i’m here to tell you it is an act of violence against ALL trans people when you misgender ANY trans person, especially on such a public forum.
you’re a trash human being, landmerbabe. absolute trash. utter garbage. you are undeniably a landfill of shit.
THANK YOU. Exactly, here she is, a self proclaimed “rad femme” saying that it doesn’t matter if she’s misgenders someone. IF YOUR FEMINISM ISNT TRANS INCLUSIVE AND SUPPORTIVE, THEN WHAT IS IT WORTH. saminal, you’re absolutely right for calling them out.
Do the lot of you feel better now that all that is outta yr system?
Yeah, Landmerbabe. Don’t you know that misgendering someone is akin to violence, like, say, smashing into someone with your car and killing them?
Ok, so you are now a male and I am calling you Todd for the rest of your life, even though you want to be known by a different name and gender. And you can never stop it. And every time someone says it you get upset, because you know you’re not this person and you want to be viewed differently. Everyone will know you by that name now. Doesn’t that fucking suck? Yeah. It does.
Todd? I’ll take it! It’s a step up from ‘nigger’ or ‘shut your chicken eating nigger lips!’ or ‘nice tits, nigger’ or ‘black bitch’ or ‘ugly black bitch’ or any variation of. As for being called ‘he’ go right on ahead. I get ‘sirred’ all the time in public because I’m a black woman with a bald head and who dresses like warehouse worker all the time. Sure it sucks but you know what I don’t do when I get ‘sirred’? Fall into a puddle of rage and sorrow lol.
hey, do you really think it's appropriate to call Caitlyn Jenner "Bruce" and use male pronouns for her?
Hi saminal, long time no talk.
From VF itself: “Bissinger apologizes to Jenner for repeated pronoun confusion and asks whether she is sensitive about it. “I don’t really get hung up,” she tells him.”
Jenner doesn’t care about pronouns and the lot of you care a lot more.
Do I think it’s appropriate to call Jenner Bruce?
After a lifetime of building a career on male athleticism in which women weren’t allowed to race, after a lifetime of being honest about being a crappy, absentee father (ooh that one hits me on a personal level), a lifetime of impregnating women over and over and over again, after having no respect for his daughters and taking their clothing and wearing it like a total fucking creep, after spending his previous days alongside Reagan and financially supporting him while the AIDS epidemic took the lives of LGBT people left right and center, after exposing his new breasts to his son in a totally inappropriate “Look at me!” moment, after a lifetime of Republican politics and voting…
You think I owe this person respect? You think I owe Bruce “Caitlyn”? You think someone can spend a life being a garbage human male and STILL is entitled to being called a woman’s name after his newfound ~womanhood~?
Do you think it’s appropriate for you, a straight white male, to be messaging A WOMAN about what language they apply to people like Jenner? Do you honestly think this is the best you can do, as a man, for women? What is wrong with you?
Stay in your lane. You’re being a trash male ally.
if being a male ally means giving transphobia a pass i’m gonna have to be a trash male ally
your criticisms of Caitlyn are valid, i never tried to defend her as a person, but misgendering is an act of violence and if your feminism involves violence against trans women it’s trash feminism (i can say trash toooo)
also just because a trans person says “i don’t get hung up on pronouns” that still doesn’t mean it’s cool to deliberately misgender them. you can’t just use that as an excuse.
i don’t wanna argue this with you because i KNOW you’re a super educated really good at arguing radfem and everything, and my hands get shaky and i can’t type properly when i try to explain to people why i disagree with them, but i just wanted to get more than one sentence in. long time no talk, i hope.
landmerbabe, queer brown woman here!!
you’re a fucking shit human being for intentionally misgendering anyone, especially because you don’t like them. like others have informed you, landmerbabe, misgendering trans folks is an act of violence, and i’m here to tell you it is an act of violence against ALL trans people when you misgender ANY trans person, especially on such a public forum.
you’re a trash human being, landmerbabe. absolute trash. utter garbage. you are undeniably a landfill of shit.
THANK YOU. Exactly, here she is, a self proclaimed “rad femme” saying that it doesn’t matter if she’s misgenders someone. IF YOUR FEMINISM ISNT TRANS INCLUSIVE AND SUPPORTIVE, THEN WHAT IS IT WORTH. saminal, you’re absolutely right for calling them out.
Do the lot of you feel better now that all that is outta yr system?
Yeah, Landmerbabe. Don’t you know that misgendering someone is akin to violence, like, say, smashing into someone with your car and killing them?
Belle (2013), dir. by Amma Asante
Spent a lovely day with friends visiting antique shops in my neighborhood~ I absolutely love this dress by Krad Lanrete, it was one of my dream dresses! <3 JSK: Krad Lanrete Blouse: Little Dipper (taobao) Shoes: Thrifted Tights: Vintage Gloves & floral crown: Taobao Jewelry: Vintage
fashion encyclopedia: Valentino pre fall 2015
The Sansa Stark Problem
Since the beginning of the Game of Thrones series Sansa Stark has been a serious problem for most viewers and readers of the show, even for people who deign to like her. Most reasons I hear is that she's weak and stupid and boring, a Disney princess who believes in fairy tales in a world where brutal rape and murder are de rigueur. While other female characters like Brienne and Arya and Danaerys and Arianne Martell kick ass and take names, Sansa remains the archetypal damsel in distress. All over the Internet viewers and book readers voice their hate of Sansa Stark, wishing her dead or written off the show from one episode to the next, and the negative sentiments she receives, from men and women alike, always struck me as misogynist. I know that word gets overused these days, but I feel it particularly accurate in this case, and far more insidious for how subtle it is.
A couple of days ago I made brief, drive by post saying that I thought people were blowing the Sansa/Ramsey scene out of proportion. Emboldened by lack of hate mail (implying that anyone reads this blog anyway), I thought I go into further detail on that belief, and address the common criticisms I have been reading from viewers separately.
RAPE IS A TERRIBLE PLOT DEVICE AND USING RAPE TO TURN A WEAK CHARACTER STRONG IS CLICHE
The situation with Sansa on her wedding night is far more nuanced than a rape plot device. If her relationship with Ramsey just turns into Joffrey vs. Sansa 2.0: Flayed Alive Edition, I will be squarely disappointed because it will show no growth of the character after her ordeal in King's Landing. Hopefully it will be different because she's on her own turf now. Winterfell, as she says, is her home, and she's likely to work up more nerve in her own element. If she suddenly becomes 'hardened by rape' then sure, that is cliche. I maintain, however, that she had already hardened up a bit or else she wouldn't have agreed to marry Ramsey. Since this is not in the books, however, we'll have to wait and see what they'll do with her.
IT WAS TOO GRAPHIC That's a matter of one's tolerance. Personally, I didn't find it as graphic as other violations depicted on the show, certainly not as unsettling as Theon's torture and mutilation--which was pretty bad, but still nowhere nearly as bad as other depictions of sexual violence I've seen elsewhere (I'm looking right at you Gaspar Noe's Irreversible!). No one wanted to hear Sansa crying. I get it. But would it have been any different if Reek closed the door on her worried face and the scene faded to black? We know Ramsey is not a good person. We know he is abusive. We had a clear understanding what awaited her on the other side of that door. But I see some of you asking why we had to witness Ramsey’s depravity aimed at Sansa. It was gratuitous, right?
Personally, I don't think so. Again that's a matter of taste. I don't object to the choice of showing Sansa's and Theon's face during the act or hearing Sansa cry because I believe not showing it would be rather cowardly and hypocritical. It's alright to show the Craster women being raped by the rogue Night's Watchmen at Craster's Keep, but witnessing Sansa's terrible wedding night was somehow beyond good taste? Why? Because Sophie Turner grew up on the show and we can't get the image of her as a thirteen year old out of our heads? I'll admit there's some merit to that. I can see how it would be hard from some fans to watch. But that says more about the viewer than it does about the show and the writers, I believe. I get it, though, when you feel you have to drop a show because it gets too heavy for you (for me that was The Wire, which I eventually went back to). But I think the scene was important to show the enormous sacrifice Sansa makes to reclaim her home. I also think the scene was supposed to ally Theon and Sansa since both are back at Winterfell and presently suffering at the hand of the Boltons. Personally I would love to see them join forces against the Boltons. For now, what I really want is for fucking Theon to tell Sansa he didn't kill Bran and Rickon!
THIS IS RAPE! I argue that it isn't, at least not legally speaking. Before you roast me alive in a suit of armor, hear me out.
Sansa consented to the marriage to Ramsey "Crazy Eyes" Bolton. On their wedding night, she was was fulfilling her duty as a wife by consummating the marriage or else it would not be legit. It was done in creepy, sick, abusive way she did not like, but there you have it. Ramsey is a sick fuck. She married a twisted individual, and had some knowledge of that going into the deal. If her father had ordered her to marry Ramsey Bolton, guess what she would have had to do? This is the fate of most women in the GoT universe.
It happened to Danaerys Targaryan Drogo.
It happened to Cersei Lannister Baratheon.
It happened to Lysa Tully Arryn and Caitlyn Tully Stark.
It happened to Margaery Tyrell, aka Mrs. Tommen “I just had sex!” Baratheon, formerly Mrs. Renly “Do you ever get the feelin' you're only going with girls 'cause you're supposed to?” Baratheon, formerly Mrs. Joffery “Never heard of this Caligula guy” Baratheon.
Lady Olenna had to seduce another man to get out of her betrothal, and poison the king to save her granddaughter from a disastrous marriage. And poor, poor Fat Walda. You think Fat Walda would choose Roose 'Hang 'em and flay em from a noose' Bolton for a husband?
In this world marriage is--as it has been throughout history--a business, a contract, and women are traded like farm animals. Robb Stark got shanked because he broke his agreement. He found true love, chose his mate, who in turn chose him, and both paid the price for it. At least his and Talisa's was a happy, if brief, union.
If it wasn't clear by season one (and I really don't see how it couldn't be), it should be solid crystal by now that GoT is set in a violent patriarchal system in which a women's right to say no to her husband or to her father is not widely acknowledged or accepted by her society. Even if Ramsey were sweet and gentle and loving and gave her chocolate afterwards, the fact that she didn't want him is still rape, by the modern understanding of it. Tyrion did not want to marry Sasnsa either, but if he had consummated the marriage it would have been rape because she didn't want him. Since he is moral guy (also because he hates his dad and loves Shae), he didn't do it, but he was in no way legally obligated to ask Sansa's consent. Indeed, given the wide disparity of power between the sexes in the GoT universe, hardly any sexual acts between men and women can be viewed, by our modern standards, as consensual. Coerced copulation is woven into the fabric of their society. As unsettling as the relationship between men and women in the world is, it is the glue of the series. Not ice zombies, not dragons, not magic. The glue of the series is the notion that civilizations rise and fall on the bodies of women and the blood of men.
With that in mind, a questions rises: are the writers obligated to pen the narrative with the sensibilities of the audience in mind or do they owe fidelity to their creative vision? You can make the argument that without an audience you don't have a show. Fair. On the other hand, if you pander to the audience's taste you end up with a disjointed, unsatisfying tale. Balancing the two is a delicate process, but it's not always possible to play to both demands to 100% satisfaction, in which case, as an artist myself, I side with the latter. An artist, creator, visionary must be faithful to his vision first. What matters, what always matters, is the story. Even if I find a piece of work distasteful, I respect the artist's choice to render his vision. With that said, not every story entertains us, and that's fine.
THE WRITERS ARE TAKING AGENCY AWAY FROM SANSA FOR THEON'S REDEMPTION ARC.
Ramsey and Sansa don't get married in the books. Also book Sansa gets better at playing the game so this major turn they're taking with her character does feel like she's taken a step back. While I certainly get the frustration readers have with the show writers straying so far from the source material, this is an adaptation and they have to cut corners, and it's hardly the first time they have done this. Even Martin's book, which this season covers, is far from perfect, a meandering story full of unnecessary bloat and a cast of characters that seem to multiply like rabbits. It's fine for world building, but it drags on a television show, and some of those characters have to be cut or collapsed into other characters. This is what they did with Sansa, converged her story with that of a far more pitiful character. But rather than have Sansa play out that character's tragedy all the way, it is my belief--or rather my hope, because I have no idea what's going to happen--that the writers will try to kill two birds with one stone by handling Theon's redemption and Sansa's growth at the same time in the same place. They're doing this for economy sake. Modern audiences already have the attention span of a flea and can barely keep up with established characters on the show who've been around since season one.
We'll have to wait and see what they do with Sansa before declaring her character growth second to Theon's. Unfortunately, I think there will be people dissastifed with her development no matter what, simply for taking this huge U-turn in the first place. Like I said, we have to wait and see.
SANSA CHANGES BACK INTO A VICTIM
Here's news flash for you: every woman in the world of GoT is a "victim." At least that seems to be the sentiment anyway. Don't believe me?
Oberyn: "We don't harm little girls in Dorne."
Cersei: "Everywhere in the world they harm little girls." (And Cersei should know, being one of those people who harms little girls.)
You: "Yeah, but Brienne and Arya and Danaerys..."
Me: "Dragons and ice zombies."
To be fair, women like Brienne and Arya are not out of the question in a brutal male dominated world like the one in GoT, but they are in no way the norm. Oh, and in case you forgot Brienne was about to get raped by Bolton's men before silver tongued Jaime saved her. Arya wouldn't have escaped from Harren Hall without Jaqen H'ghar. Danearys has fire breathing dragons and an army of men, not women, fighting for her--and fighting for her largely because she has fire breathing dragons...that were given to her by magic. These advantages do not take away from their strength and resolve, true. However, we are so focused on the fact that Brienne can fight, Arya is plucky, and Dany...well, Dany has dragons that we come believe that more women in GoT aren't respected badasses because they don't choose to be. Ygritte was probably the only exception and she's dead.
Sansa's good qualities, on the other hand, are pitifully undervalued. She's poised, dignified, well mannered and well bred, and most of all, she's kind--all desirable qualities of a well bred lady. Unfortunately these qualities often work against her in the eyes of the audience, interpreted as weakness for not subverting the system. Sansa's archetypal femininity is an affront to our modern sensibilities. Her being a lady--and an often frightened one at that--is reflective of a patriarchal culture that uses women's relative physical weakness against them and make them subservient to men. She is a de facto victim, as a result, thus the resistance to acknowledge any strength she may possess. To do so would be accepting a system that puts her in a position to be abused, but it would also have us take the tremendous leap to actually empathize with a woman underpinned by a culture in which women serve men. Golly gee, we can't have that! So then, rather than empathize with her, we blame her. It's her fault she was made a political prisoner by the Lannisters. It's her fault her father's dead (not the fact that he threatened the queen, mind you!). It's her fault for being Littlefinger's dupe. It's her fault for being alone and scared and sad. It's her fault for marrying Ramsey and being abused on her wedding night. It's either her fault or the writers' fault. It's never the fault of the system in place in which these characters live and die.
But why did the writers have her cry! I hear you say. Why couldn't she just take it on the chin and show how flipping strong and in control she was? Maybe because Ramsey is scary ass person, that's why. Maybe because she sees that his torture of Theon Greyjoy thoroughly broke him to the point where he couldn't recognize his own name anymore, that's why. Maybe it's because it's perfectly reasonable to be scared of Ramsey, even when she agreed to marry him?
So why did she marry him? Because that's her damn house! Not the Boltons'. It's the place of her birth and it's her birthright. She can hope Stannis will ride up, dispose the Boltons and make her wardeness of the North. But then she'd just be waiting on a man to rescue her, right? Or she could make the better bet, and enter an unloving marriage just to claim what is hers. This is what many women have had to do under the system of marriage. To insist that Sansa is a victim, a doormat, a miserable person always because she works within the system, rather than subvert it, is to rob women everywhere and throughout history the mental and spiritual fortitude they had to develop in order to withstand an unfair and abusive institution.
SANSA'S BEING PUNISHED BECAUSE OF FEMININITY
This is one of the stranger accusations have seen made on Tumblr and elsewhere. Sansa's mistreatment has nothing to do with her liking or choosing femininity, and has everything to do with her behaving as her society expects her to behave as a noble woman. She is a product of her culture and class. As the daughter of a nobleman she is obliged to marry whoever her father commands and bear her husband's children. To be a desirable match for a good lord it helps that she'd be beautiful, and it is almost a must that she be a virgin. Ownership of her hymen then transfers from her father to her husband. That's a gross way to put it, but that's the way they roll in Westeros (why do you think Cersei is so pissed off all the time?). We're just too enamored with the outliers, the Aryas of the world who are far rarer than the Sansas to appreciate that fact. Briennes and Aryas exist because they had cool, rich dads that let them have free reign for a time. Ned probably thought Arya would grow out of being a tomboy because her aunt Lyanna was the same way. Tomboy or not, eventually Lyanna Stark was promised to a man her father chose for her. The same would have happened to Arya had Eddard 'Lawful-Good' Stark not been a backwater goober and lost his noggin.
SANSA WILL ALWAYS BE A WEAK PERSON
Sansa gets bullied a lot. First, by Joffrey, occassionally by Cersei, and now by Ramsey. While few viewers deny the awfulness of the Lannisters, they also seem to be pissed off at Sansa for being used and abused by them. What exactly is she supposed to do, though? Was she supposed to become a scheming and manipulative mastermind overnight? Sansa came to court as a child. She knew jack shit about court politics, much like her idiot father who managed to get his hick ass killed and leave his daughters unprotected in a pit of vipers (yet Ned never gets called out for his stupidity). After the slaughter of the Stark coterie in King's Landing, Sansa was left friendless. Most importantly she was left without a positive female influence to teach her how to protect herself at court. There was no Lady Olenna by her side to teach her how to play the game.
Yet, she survived on thirteen to fourteen years of noble lady grooming. She could have resorted to being the spoiled, willfull brat she had been in Winterfell, but she's not stupid. No one is that stupid--expect maybe some of the yahoos in the audience who think they would know how to handle themselves in a royal court. Truth is most of us would get ourselves killed in Sansa's situation, because court politics is very delicate and volatile and has lots and lots of rules. You can't make it without allies. Sansa was friendless and out of her element in King's Landing, a little girl from the country. It was best for her to keep her head low and stay out of sight.
And through it all, through the threats and the humiliations, she maintained her poise, her dignity and her grace. How many of us would crap ourselves every time we caught Joffrey's attention? During the battle of Blackwater she lent strength to the frightened women in the room by keeping their spirits up through prayers and hymns--you know, what the fucking queen should have been doing instead of getting drunk off her ass, belittling the other women for hiding during the fight. But praying and singing is weak and girly and ghey, right? It wasn't the big badass speech Tyrion gave to jazz the men into battle, but it was just as important. If there was a wasted opportunity on the writers' part it was the chance to emphasize that Sansa evoked some spiritual solidarity among the women during a turbulent time. Sansa's contribution went, once again, unnoticed and unappreciated.
THAT’S ALL
I think Sansa is a strong person, considering all she’s been through and given her age, but her’s is a strength that is hardly regarded. She doesn’t need saving; she needs allies. So toss her few, GoT writers. Give her some real friends and show off her character growth. Oh, and if you can have her kill Littlefinger in the end, that would be pretty boss. Poison would be nice. I hear it’s a woman’s weapon.
I think people are blowing the wedding night scene out of proportion.
