I've been reading the original Amazing Spider-Man and the 2000 run of Ultimate Spider-Man. One of the key characteristics of the original Peter is that he's not a "perfect" victim. He's bullied and an outcast among his peers but he's not a saint. As a consequence, Peter harbors a lot of anger and resentment towards others.
Even when his fellow classmates are acting neutrally, he can't help but say something snarky. His whole thing is that others disregard and ridicule the bookworm Parker but one day he'll show them by becoming richer and smarter than any of them. He kinda has this chip on his shoulder about intelligence as well, he prides himself on being more academically disciplined and successful than his peers. Peter doesn't yearn for friendship or even acceptance. He really just wants his version of revenge.
In this sense, one of Peter's key internal struggles is learning forgiveness and that helping others isn't supposed to be transactional. You don't help people so that they're nice to you or so you'll get a bunch of fans or even a boat load of money. You do it because it is the right thing to do. He also has to come to terms with using his powers for good. He can't put his head down, study, and ignore others anymore. He can't focus so much on his future since now he must learn to live in the present, focusing on the now.
Once he gets his powers, helping others doesn't even cross his mind, haha. He basically becomes a circus performer for some quick cash and adoring fans.
If it weren't for the fact that Peter was only 15 and had a loving family, this almost seems like a villain origin story. There are tons of villains who become what they are (at least partially) because they were social outcasts and they want to "show" the world their greatness. If Pete had a pinch more narcissism and some violence in his heart, I think he could've become a bit of a villain.
Anyway, it's this immature selfishness that unintentionally leads to his Uncle Ben's murder. As soon as he gets a modicum of power to his name, he uses it selfishly much like the bullies and bystanders he despised. He quickly lets the power go to his head an becomes a bit of a diva.
Similar to how no student sought to help the outcasted Peter Parker, even though they had the social power to do so as a non-outcast to call out other students' poor behavior, Peter refused to help stop the escaping thief. I feel like the parity between other students refusing to help Peter and Peter refusing to help others when he first got his powers was a bit of a happy accident that I wish was acknowledged a bit more directly in the story.
Fittingly, Peter doesn't learn this lesson until he is personally affected when Uncle Ben is murdered by that same runaway thief.
He said the line!!!!!!
Interestingly, this event doesn't immediately change him into a superhero. When he gets home, he first considers dropping the whole Spider-Man act.
The only reason he doesn't hang up the suit for good is because he wants to help ease his Aunt May's financial burdens (this was the 60s so and older, married woman like May didn't have a job. She may have never held a job. I think the intention was Aunt May and Uncle Ben were his great aunt and uncle, so they're older). Basically, his first selfless endeavor as Spider-Man isn't to go on a crusade against thieves or do something about gun violence or anything big like that. His first objective is to help his Aunt May.
Even after his first superhero act (saving JJJ's son from a rocket launch gone awry). The next story, Peter immediately goes to the F4 to get a job. He doesn't want to join to help their super-crime-fighting research, he just want a good starting salary.
When Peter starts out as Spidey, he doesn't have any grand ambitions nor does he fully learn the true lesson behind Ben's death immediately. He's still an immature and struggling teen dealing with the weight of his powers all on his own.
I really like these flawed, messy, immature, and humble beginnings of this Spider-Man. Peter's first major struggle isn't a super villain but his own self. It's about growing as a person (hopefully for the better) no matter what life throws his way. One of the main things that set Spider-Man apart from other superheroes was this immaturity and struggle, something I think resonated with many readers.
Even by the second issue post-Ben's death, the main plot point is Peter figuring out how to get money. He doesn't chase after The Vulture because the old man is a thief who must be stopped. He only goes after him to take photos to sell to Jameson.
Funnily enough, The Vulture assumes Spidey is a superhero ready to thwart him.
Even after Vulture attempts to drown him in a water tank, Peter doesn't really even care to go after the Vulture to stop the "evil-doer". He just follows him hoping to get some good pictures to sell. He doesn't care about retrieving the stolen diamond at all.
He only stops the Vulture after he is attacked unprovoked once again. The Vulture is only captured after he's grounded and left for the police.
I know a lot of people like the original 2000 run of Ultimate Spider-Man, but I'm not a fan of his origin story. I get that they wanted to reboot the hero's story and hook a bunch of new fans too. That's why there was less of a focus on Peter's internal struggles and more on him dealing with exciting external events. In the first three issues, Peter's first love interest (MJ), his complex relationship to the school's most popular and wealthy student (Harry), and his main villain (Norman Osborn) is all set up.
He's also a lot less snobbish to others. He doesn't respond to his bullying by shutting out others nor does he put himself on an intellectual pedestal. He doesn't fantasize about "showing" others his true greatness either. Part of this is because he's good friends with MJ from the jump.
He's still immature and doesn't hold any grandiose ideals of helping others with his powers. He still becomes a performer for cash and adoration. He uses his powers to embarrass his bullies at basketball.
But he still lacks that same level of flawed, selfish, and immature that the original has. The original still has this running throughline where Peter's doing exactly what you'd expect a 15 year old super hero to do. It's certainly a slower, less action-packed approach to Spider-Man's origin story but I think it makes for a more interesting, unique, and impactful character.
I dunno maybe this take is lukewarm or widely held. I'm still a new reader of Spidey comics.