raise hell

ripley van sant. twenty. vixen.

[faefilth]

[dailyharrington]

steve harrington in every episode: Ch. 1 Suzie, Do You Copy?

[wilsonpatricks-deactivated20191]

[ripleyvansant]

andersonfordfoxes‌.

Anderson’s eyebrow stretched upwards, almost ridiculously high on his brow. The goalie exhaled a long breath before it finally settled back into a more normal place. He gave a slow, wry blink at the vixen. He let the silence stretch a moment as he thought of a way to continue the conversation, but this wasn’t abnormal for him. Anderson struggled with social experiences and always seemed to need a moment to decide on his words. It was like pulling teeth for him to figure out how to contribute to a conversation. And in general the experience was kind of exhausting for him. The only times he didn’t have to focus to speak was when he talked to his sister, or when he ranted or explained Exy. But that was good enough for him. Conversations like this one weren’t important enough to him for Anderson to work on making them seamless.

“Your a vixen. I don’t give a shit if your in Fox Tower,” he flicked his hand dismissively, fingers itching for a cigarette. “And your doing homework, not partying or some shit.” It was almost as if he was rationalising the decision to let Ripley into the building. While at the same time he seemed to hardly bother thinking on it. The vixen wanted to be let in, so he let them in. It was just that simple for him.

“All I have waiting on me is death by science homework,” his eyebrows furrowed together in something like annoyance. “But fuck, I could use a cigarette first.” Or maybe a pack of ‘em, went unsaid. Anderson was here for exy, classes were secondary to him. He spent most of his time at the court and his grades were beginning to suffer for it. They hadn’t dropped far, but if he didn’t figure out this damned science class they might fall further. “Definitely a cigarette first.” It was spoken mostly to himself, a decision made as the stress of his project called for procrastination.  

         Sometimes the nuances of conversation were lost on Ripley. They were a person that wanted to be liked by the masses of people, but struggled to fit in when it came down to it. There was a part of Ripley that still longed to be liked by everyone—an almost need for people to actually like them rather than pretend to like them. That was something they were working on with Betsy. A slow progress to get them to not panic at every social interaction that didn’t go their way. While not every Vixen and Fox liked Ripley, they still wanted people to at least tolerate them. They liked to think they were at least a decent person who may have made a few mistakes in the past, but never shied away from the issues they caused, even if the situation was something mutual. While most of the people they associated with, they knew where they stood—Vixens, Foxes, their friends—there were some that were difficult to read. Anderson happened to be one of those people and Ripley had no idea if it was something they could fix.

         “Yeah… so? Do you often let people you don’t know that well into places you dwell?” Ripley couldn’t imagine anyone doing that, but then they liked to be cautious around people they didn’t know very well. “Oh, yeah, like anyone of the jocks are going to invite a tall pink haired cheerleader to a party other than one of the Foxes. And if I knew about a Fox party, I’d have invited you along the second I saw you.” Ripley let out a little laugh. It wasn’t as if Ripley saw many of the other athletes. There was maybe one other person who was into sports in one of their classes, but for the most part, their major was filled with people that played Dungeons and Dragons on the weekend, not people who flew halfway across the country to play sports on the weekend. “I already have a difficult enough time as is getting people to think of me as anything other than the weird Vixen who believes in cryptids, I don’t think people really notice me that often.” 

         Ripley’s interest piqued at the death by science homework comment. “Death by science? What science? I don’t mean to pry, but maybe I can help.” As long as it was a science they were family with. Anything dealing with the actual earth and its inhabitants was something they’d less likely know little about, however it didn’t mean they wouldn’t give it a shot. Ripley figured it if Anderson was going to smoke, he’d probably go to the roof which was where Ripley was heading anyway. “I’m not great at all sciences. I’m not like a genius or anything, but I’m a physics and math major, so I know a little.” Sometimes saying physics major was less likely to get them weird looks, since no one expected them to be a science major at all—let alone someone who liked math. “Unless you don’t want help.”

[ripleyvansant]

cartermaddx‌.

“That…makes sense?” Carter questions slowly. He tries to put together what Ripley could possibly want with the roof of the Den. He doubts Ripley’s the kind of person to drop off a roof-top and into a pool. They don’t even have a pool unless one of them made a recent investment that he’s unaware about–a  possibility.

The sudden exclamation from Ripley took Carter by surprise. If only he knew what they were talking about, maybe he’d be able to respond better. “I mean, sure? If you’re gonna have to do a project for class, I always say to go with whatever makes you happy. Otherwise you’re going to hate the project and feel like it ain’t worth doing the work.” Carter re-shoulders the bag as it starts to slip.

“Do you need to get inside?” He asks as he looks back over to the doors of the Fox Tower. “I can let you in.” Carter needs to get himself inside as well. One, because he’s ready to call it a day. Two, because at some point in the night he needs to take a shower.

“What exactly are you working on by the way? This Corona Borealis. Something to do with the sky? He can only equate it to the aurora borealis.

         Ripley chuckled at Carter’s response to their explanation that wasn’t really an explanation. Honestly, Ripley didn’t know what they were talking about, their mouth was moving and words were coming out, so fixed in a trance thinking about the night sky. If they hadn’t been sure they wanted to go into space before now, they were sure now. People could pry their love of the sky from their cold, dead hands. Ripley didn’t know what they’d study if they didn’t have space to study because it was the one subject they loved more than anything. And now Ripley was utterly aware how little people knew about them—and how much Etta was right about them. They weren’t giving people at Palmetto a chance to even get to know them, but there was such a deep fear of being rejected for a past that wasn’t who they were now. 

         They were going to continue to think about problems that could actually be solved. Like the math problems they’d inevitably have to do in the near future or their astronomy homework. The Vixen grinned at Carter, a look on their face that was probably overly happy and obnoxious. “No, no. You don’t understand,” Ripley said, waving off Carter’s response to their outburst. “There’s nothing I don’t love about space. Literally nothing. Black holes, glorious. The sun, fabulous. Constellations, beautiful. The planets, amazing! There’s nothing about space I hate. How can I?” Ripley looked up at the sky, the stars shining against the matte blue background, only a small amount of light pollution in the sky. Oh, how they missed Boone’s clear night skies with no light pollution save for when there was a football game—and even then twenty miles away, Blowing Rock’s sky barely contained any bit of that pollution. 

         “Yes, please.” Ripley nodded, as they walked closer to the building. “The astronomy lab’s in use, so… this is the next best place.” Ripley never complained about having to use Fox Tower to look at the stars. The astronomy lab had better telescopes than the one they owned, which was small enough to shove in their backpack—a gift from their moms a few years back. Fox Tower, however, was their best bet currently and it would work in a pinch, since they couldn’t very well drive all the way home tonight and get back to class tomorrow. That would be the most ideal way to look at the stars, though clearly impossible. Obviously Carter didn’t mind letting them in. 

         “We have to pick a constellation and write a paper on it. It’s origins, who first discovered it, where it’s name comes from, what kind of stars it is made up of. That sort of thing. Can’t be something we’ll get tired of because the whole rest of the semester we have to focus on this specific one for the rest of our projects. Which means, I have to think carefully about what won’t bore me—and honestly, Corona Borealis is a good one.”

[ripleyvansant]

andersonfordfoxes‌.

Anderson blinked at Ripley for a moment, his eyebrows pinched together in confusion. Alright, so he knew he wasn’t exactly good at this whole social thing. In fact, he was pretty terrible at it and he didn’t care enough to work on it, but he was still pretty sure that the vixen had wanted someone to be let into the tower. They basically said as much. At least that they weren’t waiting on anyone in particular, but what exactly was going through their mind was beyond him. And honestly, he didn’t want to stand here trying to figure it out. He just wanted to change, get his homework done, and maybe have a smoke.

“You did want me to let you in, right?” He questioned without actually making the decision to do so. He huffed at himself for the slip. The question would only serve to extend the conversation he already wanted out of, even given that it hadn’t been much of a conversation. He wasn’t overly hostile at the moment but that didn’t stop his voice from sounding as arrogant and chipped as always when he continued. “I can always lock you back outside if you really want to wait to see if someone else is coming by.” That was his best guess. That Ripley was hoping someone else stumbled upon them. Anderson knew he wasn’t the most well liked guy on the team, but he had let them in at least. He’d thought that was the point. But he’d been wrong before and honestly he was getting a bit irritated at his own confusion. 

          Most people didn’t get Ripley and that was fine with them. Sometimes it was better to have an unusual personality to keep everyone guessing. While most of the time Ripley thought that was fine, there were times when Ripley wished their personality was slightly more concrete. Their mind moved way too fast for even themself to keep up with it. Half the time their brain was already on the next thought before they even had time to figure out what was going on or their mind was stuck on one thing and when it needed to move forward. Half the time, Ripley had a plan thought out and when it didn’t go the exact way they expected, they freaked out over the smallest of details. It was why they stopped coming up with plans because they could be more impulsive and it was easier to go with the flow that way. Ripley hated that they were the biggest contradiction with almost everything and it was exhausting trying to figure out what was part of their actual personality and what was just for show. At least when it came to focusing on homework, that wasn’t a problem anymore.

         “Yeah, I guess.” Ripley said, shrugging. They didn’t care if they were let in or had to flirt their way in. The Vixen wasn’t going to force anyone to let them in if they didn’t want to, and Ripley wasn’t sure what kind of vibes they were getting from Anderson—not that they could ever tell a person’s vibes from talking to them. There were very few people that Ripley didn’t know what to expect. “Don’t lock me back out. I’m already in. Just figured that it would… I don’t know. Have a more difficult time getting someone to let me in. Not that you shouldn’t let me in. I’m not… a bad person or whatever. I’m…” Ripley trailed off. Considering they lied to their sister like a full minute ago, they weren’t sure that comment was accurate. “Anyway… what are you up to?” they asked, not meaning to pry, but in a genuinely curious tone. 

[ripleyvansant]

andersonfordfoxes‌.

Anderson blinked at Ripley in confusion. His eyebrows furrowed with the expression as his head turned to the door and then back to the vixen. He was going inside. He thought that was pretty clear with his running gear and well, the fact that he was literally standing in front of the door. Did they really think he was gonna close the door on them? It would be one thing if it was someone he didn’t recognize, but Ripley was a Vixen and while they did not have access to the tower they weren’t someone he was averse to letting in. Besides, he was right there, quite literally waiting to enter the building and step out of the February chill.

“I’m going in anyway…” He said it slowly, clearly still confused by their reluctance. It made him wonder for a moment, if the vixens really thought he was that much of an asshole. He wasn’t really friends with them, but he wasn’t really friends with the foxes either. And he was an asshole, but leaving Ripley outside waiting to enter while he closed the door was next level diskishness. 

He waved his wallet over the sensor, letting it read his key. The lock clicked as the light changed color signaling his way out of the cold. Anderson moved to enter the building, but paused halfway through the door. He gave a small wave of his hand to tell Ripley it was alright to follow, in case they were still uncertain of their welcome. “Fucking cold…” It was muttered under his breath, half to himself and half to act the asshole who wouldn’t have let them in if not for the weather. 

“You comin?” He addressed the vixen with a quick glance back as he moved out of the doorway, still holding it open instead of letting it swing shut.

         Ripley didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to let them in the Tower, especially someone that barely knew them. Sometimes Ripley wondered if they had a reputation among the Foxes or if most of the Foxes just didn’t talk about them. Either way, they didn’t care—but they wondered if they were known as the weird Vixen and that’s all people knew about them. That Fox Mulder wannabe—which honestly was further from the truth. At least being known as an X-Files junkie was better than just being known as an addict, Ripley wouldn’t even put the word ex in front of addict because the temptation was always there. They couldn’t read the look on the Fox’s face and wondered if perhaps they were once again being weird or something. Not that it would have been unusual for them to act like this. When Ripley had something on their mind, that’s practically the only thing they thought about. And right now that was their project. At least their mind wasn’t all over the place today.

         “Okay,” they responded slowly, wincing at the southern twang in their voice. Ripley bit down on their lip, thinking about constellations and Fox Tower. And their telescope in their room. They could go grab it and come back. Ripley was usually extremely chatty and sometimes it was difficult to get them to stop thinking about space or cryptids for more than a second to have a normal conversation. The Vixen ran a hand through their faded pink hair and thought for a moment before looking at Anderson. “What? Did you say something?” 

         Ripley was used to the cold weather. Living in the mountains they could handle the cold. When their handed down jacket was slightly too big and their shoes were worn until they had holes in them, being cold just came with being poor. Honestly, Ripley did like the cold weather more than the hot weather. Especially since the hot weather in North Carolina usually was awful—and the Van Sants didn’t have air conditioning until they’d moved to Blowing Rock, not that it was necessary when there was a creek in the back yard. They didn’t think South Carolina was much warmer in the winter, but there was less snow than where Ripley was from. They missed the snow too. 

         “Oh, um, sure,” they nodded, walking towards the door. Honestly, Ripley had been looking forward to scheming their way inside the building, but for the sake of not wasting time, maybe this was better in the long run. Ripley looked outside once more, glancing at the sky again before stepping inside the building.

[ripleyvansant]

cartermaddx‌.

The parking lot is dim, the only sources of light coming from the moon and the few street lamps that lined the parking lot. He pulled into the light faster than he should have, but slowed down considerably as he pulled into a spot and turned off the engine. In the passenger seat, there’s a mess of school books, notebooks, pens, and medication from the visitation he was only just getting back from. That alone had been a nightmare. Abbey had been night enough to come with him—even kinder to pay for the antibiotics so he could hopefully get better.

But that alone had been an argument, Carter insisting he had to pay her back. The car ride back to her home was spent in argument until they pulled into the driveway and she finally let him in to do the dishes and clean up her kitchen. An hour later, Carter pulled out from her house and made his way back to Fox Tower where he sat down.

After shoving everything into his backpack, Carter got out from his car and shut the door. He didn’t bother to lock the door—wasn’t anything valuable in there and if they stole his car then he wished them luck trying to get very far with it.

Up near the door, Carter ran into Ripley—an odd sight outside of Fox Tower. But at least it was a friendly familiar face. “Vixen Den got borin’ for you?” Carter asked as he slowed to a stop and pulled out his ID so he’d be able to get into the building. “Can’t promise you’ll find much fun right now. Then again, I’ve just arrived.”

         Outside the moon shone on all the cars and Ripley looked up at the stars. Space was incredible. The beauty of the night sky was sometimes more than Ripley could handle. The way the stars seemed to shine like small diamonds in the sky and the moon’s craters were beautifully visible tonight. This was why Ripley needed to go to space. They looked up and felt entirely happy and calm for once. 

         Of course, that whole goal came with a lot of work. One didn’t just say they were going to space. There were a lot of things they needed to study before they could reach that goal. But having the night sky to look at was almost a daily reminder of the goal they were working towards. It was a reason that Ripley felt they were making the right decision in staying in their major, even if it was a connection to Pip. They were still trying to find a way to disconnect themself from liking something and being alright with liking it, even if occasionally it did remind of them of a shitty person and a shitty situation because of a shitty person. 

         Etta was a big help lately with that as well. Her checking up on Ripley a few times a week was helpful. She almost insisted on seeing them once a week, even if they were both busy. At least Ripley was starting to feel like things were beginning to calm down. Therapy sessions were going great and living with someone other than Cade was also helping to a degree, even if Ripley did miss seeing him so often. There was a new sense of calm and that everything was going to be alright. Ripley still didn’t feel like they were fully alright—they weren’t sure that would ever be the case. Addiction and depression were not something that would go away. There was work in feeling better, even if they were always going to need help for their problems. They hated that their two problems seemed to be hand in hand though. Getting better was a slow process. 

         Looking up at the sky, Ripley almost forgot that they were supposed to be looking for a way into Fox Tower. Oops. Oh well. A voice brought them back to reality. “Oh, hey,” the Vixen said with a cool expression, trying not to feel like a fool. “Den’s not boring. I just can’t get to the roof as easily. Or I could, but I’d rather not.” The roof on the Den was slanted and didn’t make good for using a sketch pad. “And with me, there’s double the fun, right?” they responded with a laugh. Ripley was trying to remain light hearted, but they were distracted. The roof was the only place they could go to get a better look at the stars and Ripley’s mind seemed to be on one track right now. “Hm…” Ripley thought out loud, then looked at Carter. “Oh, shit! What if I did my project on Corona Borealis?” It was one of their favorite constellations, but also had an interesting story attached to it.

[ripleyvansant]

andersonfordfoxes‌.

Anderson had finished a rather short practice. But he made up for it by jogging to and from the court. It was only February but the chill still soaked through his light jacket. Despite that, his skin was still lined with a light sheen of sweat, which only served to make him even colder. The fox forced himself to keep his pace even as he approached the tower. He wasn’t over exerting himself, but his breath was still coming out in short pants by the time he drew close enough to recognize the figure lingering near the door. He had an internal debate about speaking to them or just continuing on his way. He had homework to catch up on, which is why he’d had to cut his practice short today. Besides, he wasn’t really in the mood to be social just now. Not that he ever really was.

Almost reluctantly he removed one of his ear buds as he slowed, letting it hang loosely over his shoulder. The goalie was already working on steadying his breathing as he paused near the door. His hands moved into his hoodie, half seeking warmth and half to get his key, but he fond his hand closing around it instead of moving to open the door. Anderson’s eyes shifted to Ripley again as he hesitated. He huffed a small breathe, as if resigning himself to the coming conversation. Though, he liked to humor himself by thinking that if it he hadn’t been so damn cold he’d have been able to ignore the Vixen. But even he couldn’t leave someone just standing out in the cold. 

“You waitin on someone?” It wasn’t much, hardly even a greeting but it was something at least. 

All in all, Ripley had a pretty decent day. They were trying their hardest to get all their homework complete the second it was due, so they could focus on other things, like Vixen practices and all the away games. Honestly, Ripley was amazed at all the places the Foxes got to travel. As a kid that never went anywhere, getting to go to the other side of the country was amazing to them. There were plenty of Foxes that had been outside their state before becoming a Fox—and there were plenty of them that never got that opportunity until now. Ripley didnt want to jeopardize their place on the team, so they were doing to try their hardest to continue to make an impact on their team. And as stressful as school was, it wasn’t as stressful as everything else was currently. Although now they were starting to feel like everything was calming down. A lot had changed since the beginning of the year, a lot had changed since the beginning of the school year, but now it was time to embrace the change and get back to the go-with-the-flow type person they’d been before coming to Palmetto. The person they missed being. 

         Fox Tower was not a place Ripley hung out that often. The Foxes were great—most of them—and Ripley did have a few friends on the Exy team. There were plenty that they didn’t get along with and even more that Ripley had never talked to. Some of them seemed less likely to talk to a Vixen than others and since they spend most of last semester trying to get a feel for the team, Ripley now was beginning to feel as if they could start trying to make a bigger effort to make friends on the Exy team. However, it didn’t help when Ripley was weird and jittery and nervous around them. It was the product of wanting to be liked by them and the compelling need to surround themself with people. Some of the Foxes did make Ripley nervous, when they talked about their addictions and their problems as if it were the easiest thing in the world, when Ripley struggled to even admit they had depression. So it might have been a slow progress to branch out more, but it was progress none the less.

         “Ah, no. Not really,” Ripley responded, looking over to see Anderson. “I was…. Trying to figure out how to get in Fox Tower so I could look at the stars. The astronomy lab’s in use and I have a project I need to start.” Ripley looked at the sky, then back to Anderson. “Anyway. No one in particular. You don’t have to help if you don’t want.”

[ripleyvansant]

calebfournierx‌.

The library on campus wasn’t the best place to be right now, even if all Caleb wanted to do was sit and read in a quiet corner. He didn’t care much about studying, his grades were fine and he would pass his exams with ease. Right now he was looking for an escape from the dumb drama going on inside his own head, looking for a distraction from everything. It wasn’t often that he strayed far from his usual routine of moping in his dorm, in the common room, and putting energy he didn’t have into exy. Curling up in the corner of the library, in a large, plus chair, was a nice change of pace. 

He had been there for hours when he finally got anxious, antsy, got the desire to move again. Those had been coming in short bursts lately and if he didn’t get up now, he might not get the will to do it again for hours. And eventually, he would have to go back to his dorm and sleep. He’d almost fallen asleep in the chair and it was a narrow miss. So he got up and reshelved his book before heading back for the Tower. He could take his time and walk slowly and maybe, just maybe, he would have enough energy to not collapse into bed immediately upon entering his dorm. But he would get stuck with insomnia the second he laid down. 

There was a familiar figure up ahead and it took Caleb a second to figure out why it was familiar. It was Ripley, and with a hint of shame, Caleb realized he hadn’t spoken to them in a minute, his desire to make interpersonal connections had fallen by the wayside. He waited for them to get off of the phone, not trying to scare them or eavesdrop, just attempting to be polite. “Y’know, I do have a key,” he said as a way of announcing himself. 

“But watching you attempt to be a spy would be way more fun.”

         Sometimes Ripley wished that they were naturally smart and didn’t have to work so hard at school to get good grades. It would be easier with how stressed they were. In high school, they hadn’t tried to get good grades—though classes weren’t usually the first thing on their mind. Ripley didn’t get perfect grades, but they were much better than average. Studying was Ripley’s only way to keep up the good grades, despite having to work longer to maintain decent grades. It was ambition that kept Ripley on track when it came to their grades. Without their goal to get to space, they weren’t sure what they were going to do with their education. Going to space was their only goal in life—and even if it took a long time to achieve it, they were going to get there one way or another, even if they had to build their own space ship to get there. That determination is what kept Ripley from failing classes, that and not wanting to fail at something yet again.

         Part of the reason that they didn’t want to talk to Etta was because they were trying to study. But another reason was that she probably wanted to talk about how they were doing. Ripley loved their sister and liked that she was much closer to them now; that didn’t mean that Ripley wanted her to call every few days to check and make sure they were alright. There days that they appreciated it and days when getting out of the conversation couldn’t happen fast enough. Today had been one of those days. Ripley thought things were going much better now—and it was still a slow process of feeling alright, but it was happening. Ripley actually felt like they were starting to get back to normal. They couldn’t believe it had taken almost a whole year to feel like they had a solid footing at Palmetto. They just hoped the next two years were going to go by better than this one did. 

         Fox Tower still loomed ahead and Ripley was not sure how they were going to get in. Normally, they’d just call one of their Fox friends to let them in or make a friend on another team. Today it didn’t seem like anyone was around. That was going to be a problem. Ripley couldn’t blame them for not being at Fox Tower when hanging out in their rooms was boring, it sort of sucked for them though. Lost in thought while they were staring at the tower, Ripley didn’t hear someone come up behind them until they heard the voice. “Oh, hey. A key?” Ripley glanced at Caleb. “That’s boring.” Ripley scoffed. “Do you not believe I could be a spy? I’m totally blend-in-able.”

[ripleyvansant]

ofarlos‌.

“c’mon, asshole.” arlo gently nudged ripley’s shoulder. “you’re a fucking vixen; it’s not like you have anything else to do.”

he knew that wasn’t true, but arlo had never really liked the vixens. they just distracted him at games and made a nuisance of themselves. moreover, he didn’t understand why someone would train to watch exy instead of play it when the court was right there. regardless, he knew they had to make nice.

          Pushing their glasses back up on their face, Ripley let out a sigh. They didn’t have anything else to do, but regardless of if they did or not, most everyone that paid attention knew that Ripley was typically always stressed because of school. They didn’t have one major, but two and both were very competitive. There wasn’t much room for error anymore and the Vixen was starting to feel the pressure to excel in their classes more than they had in the past. Their GPA might have dipped while they were in general education, but they’d managed to bring it back up by the end of the semester, when it was clear what their problems were tied to and they began getting help for it. 

          Ripley knew that the Vixens weren’t liked by some of the Foxes because they weren’t always understood. There were Foxes that ignored them and ones that actively attempted to befriend them. Somehow Ripley was alright with the former, despite that being a major issue for them in the past. Sometimes it was difficult to be hated for no reason other than just being a cheerleader; they were dealing with it. Ripley wasn’t going to be liked by everyone they came in contact with, although they’d try their hardest to be liked by everyone they talked to. It was a Herculean feat to stop caring what others thought and when Ripley’s issues stemmed directly from being disliked. It took everything in Ripley to not just walk away from the conversation, as much as their brain was screaming at them to do so. 

          “Tell that to my double major in Mathematics and Astrophysics,” Ripley responded, keeping an even tone in their voice. And maybe it wasn’t the nicest response in the world, but the intent was clear: I’m not just a cheerleader, I’m somewhat intelligent. They’d had enough in their life of people trying to tell them who they were supposed to be based off what they saw. Just because they didn’t like violent sports, didn’t mean they didn’t have to be punished for it. 

[ripleyvansant]

LOCATION: Near(ish) Fox Tower  DATE: February 23rd  TIME: 7:42 PM  OPEN

          All the study rooms at the library were taken and Ripley had hoped that one of their friends was in one of them. No luck. They were just going to have to deal with finding another place to study. Honestly, the library wasn’t the best place to study star formations anyway, it’d all be books and books just weren’t as fun to look at than the actual sky. And the astronomy building wasn’t accessible right now because there was a lab in there. Ripley wasn’t going to press their luck by pissing off one of their professors just to get some homework done that didn’t need to be done for another couple of weeks. There weren’t many places on campus that they could reasonably go to look at the stars. That was until Ripley remembered that Olivia said Fox Tower was a good place to look at the stars. They walked away from the library, towards Fox Tower, trying to think of something they could say to get in without sounding like they were actually stupid. They at least hoped that 

          Ripley had been feeling slightly better over the last week or two. Things were slowly starting to get back to normal. Their mood seemed to be better. Ripley vaguely wondered if it was connected to moving into a different room, but considering they were still friends with Cade, they weren’t putting much stock into that theory. No, they were pretty sure it had to do with Etta. Ripley knew that their family really wasn’t that far away in the grand scheme of things—plenty of Foxes had family that was much further away than three hours. However, Ripley’s moms still weren’t close enough even if they were three hours away. Their sister being an hour away, driving fast, made for a much easier drive. In fact, she was insisting on meeting up with Ripley every few weeks to make sure they were doing alright. They’d been ignoring some, if not most, of their problems, lying about that just wasn’t feasible with their sister. Nearing Fox Tower, their phone went off. 

          “Hey, Etta. I can’t talk right now. I’m attempting to Mission: Impossible my way into Fox Tower so I can look at the stars from the roof. And yes, I’ll be careful.” Ripley hung up the phone and glanced up at the building, attempting to figure out a way in other than calling one of their Fox friends to save the day. 

[ripleyvansant]

ofarlos‌.

Location: Around Campus Date: February 24th

he was finally free from his classes, the weight of a quiz and two tests off of his chest. he hated in class shit like that, and was glad to be free of it, despite the fact that it’d all be starting up again in the following week; something about being in his penultimate year that meant examinations felt ten times longer than they should have been. despite his distracted state, all he could think about was exy and thinking about exy made him think about theo. and he couldn’t have that.

“we should go out tonight. the entire fucking team, if we have to. get some booze, go to a club, pass out on a sidewalk.” he said, fiddling with the straps on his backpack. “i can’t stand to be on campus for more than five seconds right now unless i have a racquet in my hand.”

          Sometimes Ripley felt like one of the only people that actually liked going to classes. They sometimes forgot that other people didn’t like school and were only here for Exy. When it came to their classes, they took it too seriously. Then again, as a Vixen, Ripley wasn’t just here to be a cheerleader. They were here to get an education. Sometimes that was the biggest reminder to get past all the bullshit in their life. School was more important than anything else. Despite Ripley’s want to do well in class, their GPA didn’t exactly reflect their love of school. Last semester screwed them over, but now with classes that they actually enjoyed, Ripley was hoping to remedy their shitty first semester at Palmetto. It did help knowing that their classmates were generally helpful and that their schedule was entirely filled with all the math and science classes they could ever want to take. Some people might have found their schedule to be ridiculous; they’d gotten used to not sleeping anymore. Long nights in the library or sitting in the common area of the Den and working on complex equations that other people found boring, yet Ripley felt oddly comforting that the answers weren’t supposed to be subjective. 

          Still, after a long day of listening to lectures, Ripley was glad to be done with classes for the day. Caught up on homework, they didn’t have much else to do. And not having anything to do meant more time to think. And more time to think just reminded them of how terrible everything was. Ripley might have more or less gotten over the anxiety that came along with the fallout of their brother, but there was a constant reminder in the back of their head that they were still not entirely sure about who they were. It was a constant struggle that Ripley was tired of having to deal with and the sooner all of their problems went away the better. Though it wasn’t as if Ripley was actively working on their problems. More like actively avoiding them and dealing with the consequences when some issue came up. One of these days Ripley was going to have a true breakdown and it wasn’t going to be pretty. At least their family was never that far away. 

          “Alternatively, we could not do that and go to an art museum instead.” Ripley still was not entirely comfortable with bars, especially not when the Foxes bar of choice was Eden’s. 

[ripleyvansant]

inoahthingor2‌.

Noah wrinkled his nose at Ripley, but shrugged off their evil plans goof with a laugh. “Yeah, as if you’re capable of evil. I, on the other hand,” he said, as he steepled his fingers together, “am dastardly. Mwahaha!” he said in his best dark chuckle, which was mostly just his regular giggle with his brows furrowed. 

Noah couldn’t help but huff when Ripley commented on the importance of math. “Ug, you’re just like Lily,” he said, but while it sounded derogatory, it was anything but. His sister was brilliant, just like Ripley, and he couldn’t help but feel awed by them. Yeah, Noah could do the basic math, like to figure out a tip, but he was pretty average apart from that. Lily and Ripley were something else. 

And then, in true Ripley fashion, they practically croon out that Noah had a crush and Noah immediately felt his face grow hot, covering his face with his hands. He had been side stepping call it what it was because it was so improbable and silly, but there was no way he could convince Ripley that he didn’t have a crush. Because well…. The way he was acting…. 

He shoved Ripley gently in the shoulder and peeked at him through his fingers. “Don’t tease me,” he whined, tracing the start of his Valentine as his flush persisted. It was a little embarrassing to admit, because Basil was so clearly out of his league, but he wasn’t necessarily ashamed. Basil was… well, he was handsome, and so cool, so of course people would have crushes on him! He doubted he would be the only one. 

“No, please, don’t pull out the board,” Noah groaned with a teasing grin, before he cast his eyes away. “But, it’s Basil, if you must know.”

         Noah wouldn’t be saying that if he actually knew Ripley. The person they were with him was completely different than the person they’d been in high school. It was funny how susceptible Ripley was to manipulation—either by others or to others. Strangely Palmetto had been a little different. There were days when Ripley obviously spent too much time worrying if the Vixens viewed them a specific way, but most days Ripley tried not to care. “Oh, yeah so evil.” Ripley rolled their eyes. Maybe Noah didn’t know everything about Ripley for a reason though. If they told him everything, it painted them in a bad light.

         “Maybe Lily and I are actually the same person,” Ripley gasped, widening their eyes. They were in the mood to joke around and not be serious, so they couldn’t help being a little silly. Somehow, Ripley had always liked math. It made more sense to them. An answer was right or wrong. There wasn’t any subjective opinions about the answer to math problems. They struggled with subjects where a person couldn’t be completely objective in the matter. Math made sense to them, therefore, they enjoyed it. And they really didn’t understand how people thought it was so difficult.

         If Noah didn’t want to tell Ripley who they were crushing on, then that was fine. They weren’t going to push him to spill. Valentines was going to suck for them this year. Usually, Ripley spent it getting drunk and dancing the night away or hooking up with someone. Either way, this year they didn’t feel like doing either of those things. They might not have feelings for Cade anymore, but it was unusual for Ripley not to like someone. Sure they had potential crushes, however those didn’t always pan out. Besides, Ripley was planning on spending the actual evening of Valentine’s day with Etta—because they couldn’t say no to her.

         “I’m not teasing you,” they responded, sticking their tongue out at him. Ripley had no room to talk, considering not that long ago they’d had a crush on someone. “Are you saying I’m not refined? How do I know I’m not your crush? Shit that’d suck because I’d like to think I’m a little more observant than that.” Ripley couldn’t help but laugh as they spoke. Lighthearted conversations like this felt so easy sometimes. With Noah it was difficult to be unhappy because he always acted happy. Ripley liked that about him—even if their own happiness was fake, at least for a moment they could joke around and laugh. In a way, it reminded them of being around Pip.

         “Why not? The board is a staple of every cop movie and television show! It’s the best part of every show. You get to see the stupid shit people pin that has nothing to do with the actual crime.” Ripley wasn’t the biggest fan of crime shows, but they’d watch them. “Mulder always has the best ones too.” They were going off on a tangent. “Wait, is that the one Fox that I’ve never seen like… hanging out with anyone? He literally just goes to games and practice and I assume his classes, but always has this look on his face when he’s near the rest of the Foxes like it’s an inconvenience?” Ripley eyed Noah. “This is like some bad TV trope thing: the grump and the sunshine characters getting together. Holy shit, wait, wait. Can I borrow your phone?”

[ripleyvansant]

striker-brayden‌.

Brayden looks up at the ceiling with a blank expression. He won’t pretend to know how exactly people get into space, but he’s pretty sure it’s not by declaring it. It’s not something he ever bothered to look into, because he’s never been one of those kids who wished to live on the moon or whatever. Actually, he’s pretty sure he’d hate being in space. He’s already not a huge fan of heights, so combine that with being trapped in a small rocket–where he’ll die if he leaves without a suit, it’s not very appealing to him. The quiet would probably be nice though. 

“Good luck with that,” He finally replies. “I almost threw up on Mission Space, so I’m sure actually being launched into space is like way fucking worse.” He still remembers that trip to Disneyland. He’s always been fucking terrified of rollercoasters, but Landon didn’t want to ride alone, so he’d drag Brayden onto the different rides, like Mission Space, and he’d spend those few minutes of torture bawling his eyes out. 

“Don’t you have to wear a diaper in space?” Brayden asks out of the blue. He remembers hearing that somewhere, maybe school. He’ll add that to his mental list of reasons to not fuck with space. He’s so distracted by his thoughts about space travel that he forgot they were in the middle of a kind of serious conversation. Honestly, he’d rather talk about peeing in zero gravity than his problems. 

Brayden is on board with Ripley on the whole sleep deprived thing. He doesn’t remember the last time he had a good nights sleep. The Championships are stressing him out too much, and tonight he’s too busy wondering if he even wants to do his fifth year. “Well, it’s…” Brayden pauses to look at the time on the microwave, “almost four, so this sounds like a pretty standard four am conversation to me.” 

         Ripley’s used to being the weird one out of the Foxes and Vixens. It might be the most themself they’ve ever been, but maybe not. At this point Ripley’s identity is so out of sync with everything they didn’t know if they’d ever be able to figure out who they were—so they mostly stopped trying. It was a daily problem at this point and seemed far more exhausting to try and fix than just leave it be. If there was something that made them uncomfortable, then they’d deal with it when it came up. Just like their gender identity. Sometimes certain phrases upset them and other times they didn’t. Ripley was too tired to try and figure out what it was that made upset, what it was about certain days. At least there were a few things that Ripley knew was truly them, rather than an imprint of something or someone else. Space was one o those that was iffy, though it was difficult to separate them from their passion for space at this point. Ripley was sure some people only ever thought of them as the weird cryptid Vixen.

         “Shit, I don’t know what I’d do if I got sick in space.” Ripley had never been to Disneyland and they didn’t have any real want to go either. It would truly suck if by the time Ripley got a chance to go to space, they weren’t able to handle it. Ripley had gone on rides at fairs, though they had to imagine those weren’t the same as going to space. “That’s what I’ve dedicated my entire life to, so it truly would be the worst if I couldn’t actually cut it.” Sometimes Ripley felt like they didn’t have half the life experiences as other people. “What’s Disneyland like?” Ripley asked, feeling stupid for even asking. It wasn’t as if it was their fault for growing up poor.

         “Yes and no,” Ripley responds, shrugging. They doubted that Brayden wanted the full answer to the question—and it was difficult to get Ripley to stop talking about space once they started. They’d rather just leave it at that and if he had more questions, he could ask. It wasn’t as if Ripley wanted to talk about this right now either. They wanted to not think about all the issues they were dealing with. Space somehow was part of them too; then again, everything was a problem for them lately. At least drugs somehow weren’t a problem. Ripley could count that as one blessing, though they didn’t know how long that was going to last.

         “This is actually a normal conversation with me like any time you’d talk to me,” they laughed. “But maybe because my default is weird.” They were only sleep deprived because of school. Too many classes, too much practice, too little time to actually sit down and properly study. Ripley wasn’t doing poorly in classes, there was just a lot of information coming at them all at once and some days it was easy to get overwhelmed. Ripley wanted this year to be over with more than anything in the world, so they could go home and be in their comfort zone again.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[ripleyvansant]

akira-sxto‌.

Location: L.A. Night Club Date: February 15 Time: 11:39 p.m. (OPEN)

There were memories almost everywhere Akira looked. He recognized buildings and cars. Street signs and trees. From the moment their plane had started its descent Akira felt like he was taking a step back in time. He hadn’t been back to L.A. since his parents spirited him away to rehab two years ago. He never wanted to come back, if he was being honest. But coming back to play for the Foxes seemed like a good enough reason. At least until Akira walked out into the airport and was hit by it all. The noises, the people, the smell. All of it. He ended up coming to an abrupt halt in the middle of the walkway trying to take it all in. Trying to calm his nerves. 

It’s Wymack’s hand on his shoulder that shakes Akira out of his spiral of thoughts and feelings. Most of the Foxes and Vixens had already left him behind, not that he could blame them for it. “Good?” Wymack’s voice is low but there’s no denying the genuine concern in it. It takes Akira a long minute to find his words.

“Y-Yeah.” His voice cracks. “I’m good.” He swallows hard and starts forward. Wymack follows, keeping in line with him. Akira finds a deep sense of solace in it, uses it as a reminder of who is his now. He’s more grateful for the fact the Foxes and Vixens allow him to hide in the middle of them when they make the short commute to the bus and then the hotel. Everyone knows he’s a Fox. Knows the Foxes are coming to L.A. for this game. He’s not the least bit surprised by the hounds lying in wait for him.

What he is surprised by though are the familiar faces in the crowd when he heads out to the court for warm ups. So unexpected, and entirely unwanted, that Akira runs head on into the person in front of him in a desperate bid to escape them. It’s sad, but seeing them sends such a complicated mix of emotions through him his only course of action is to bolt. He doesn’t even apologize before he’s darting to the doors, pausing just outside them. He’s engulfed in the shame of it and he stews in it. These people were his friends…had been his friends. He should find it heart warming they’d want to be here for him, wearing orange and cheering him on. But it’s a hard emotion to feel through the unbridled anger. They’d gotten him into that damn mess. Hadn’t bothered to fish him out. 

It’s the loud rap of someone’s knuckles on the plexi-glass that shakes Akira out of his head. The guilt comes back when he sees it’s Wymack. Nothing happens. And then Akira takes a deep breath and heads back into the fray. Fuck them. Fuck this. He’s going to show them just how much he doesn’t regret leaving them behind.

And he does. And the Foxes win.

The Foxes win.

Akira’s so ecstatic about the win that he all but forgets about Trevor and Morgan and everyone else in the stands. Even the fight doesn’t deter his mood much. He’s in a fantastic mood up until Trevor and company bust into the locker room. They’ve clearly used their fame as leverage or something to get in. All he feels is dread. They make a beeline for him, Trevor pulling him into a headlock and messing up his hair, crowing loudly about how that game was fantastic and how celebrations are in order. They’ve rented a club. Put together a party. For the Foxes. It sends Akira’s emotions into another wayward spiral. He doesn’t know what to say and the words that come out feel fake and hollow. But he agrees to come. How could he not? The press would never let him live it down.

And of course it’s a familiar club, the place they’d often come as a cast to get drunk and high. The old booth Akira used to strike the deals is still there, the lights still flash to the beat as the music pounds through the speakers. He’s on edge the second he walks inside, his mouth bone dry and hands shaky. This was a bad idea. A terrible idea. He doesn’t want to be here and yet…can’t be anywhere else. 

The press always watching.

He feels like a caged animal, trapped, chained. It’s suffocating. And he tries to hide it as best he can, hanging out with the cast and telling tales. Even getting out onto the dance floor for a while. Smiling and nodding at all the right moments. At some point someone got him a can of soda, his usual party drink of choice these days. It helps to have something to hold but it makes him feel so other among people holding familiar bottles and glasses of alcohol. When he’s finally able to slip away from the crowd he holes himself up in a corner booth. Willing everyone to not see him. Praying the party dies down quickly so he can leave and not get called out on it in the tabloids in the morning.

He takes a drink and grimaces. It’s warm. It’s beyond warm, it’s almost hot. God knows how long he’s been simply holding onto it. He pushes it away from himself, looking out over the crowd in a poor attempt at looking engaged and excited. He spots someone nearby and shoots them what he hopes is a smile and not a grimace. “You having fun? Me and the cast used to come here all the time back when I was on On the Line. The bartender used to…” He pauses to gather himself again, steel himself for the admission. “Used to know my order by heart. I’ll bet he probably still does.”

         The Van Sants never went on vacations outside the general area of the North Carolina mountains. They were to poor for that and most of their vacations ended up being “camping” in the backyard—on a weekend when Elisabeth didn’t have to work. They could have never afforded to go to California, on an adventure outside Asheville. Ripley’s family might be scattered on the east coast now, but they were still close, at least the ones that mattered were close. Pip was the furthest away in New York. So when Ripley realized that being a Vixen meant getting to go places they’d never get to go, it scared them just a bit. Some people might be cut out for being far from home, Ripley wasn’t one of those people. There was something so terrifying of being far from home with no one around that cared. That wasn’t the case with the Vixens because at least most of their squad mates did actually care about them, but it wasn’t the same as being close to their moms. California is the furthest from home Ripley’s ever been before—it’s the furthest from home they ever want to be.

         After the game, there’s so much chaos that Ripley’s not sure where they should go. Some people head back to the hotel and others seem to want to go out to celebrate. Ripley doesn’t know what they want to do. It seems to early to go back to the hotel—and it seems like most of their friends are heading out to party. There’s a part of Ripley that wants to go back to the hotel and get some sleep. It seems a bit… boring and if there’s anything that Ripley isn’t, it’s boring. It’s finny how much has changed over the last few years. How Ripley went from being the life of the party to the awkward person in the back in such a short amount of time. There’s a part of them that wants to get back to the person they used to be. Ripley wishes that the dark cloud that always seems to be hanging over their thoughts would evaporate, and everything could be normal again. They don’t like the person they’ve become. Lately, everything had felt as if it was too much effort. All Ripley had wanted was a complete fresh start. Away from the small-town life in Blowing Rock, away from the pressures their moms put on them to be better, away from the looks on their siblings faces. Ripley wanted to be better without all the effort that went into it.

         Since most of their friends went to the Fox Afterparty, Ripley decided to tag along. It gave them something to do this evening without actually having to go out on their own. Ripley didn’t have the courage for that in a new city—the bright lights and crowds were never something they wanted to get used to. Asheville was the perfect size city, in their opinion. Everyone seemed to scatter after getting there, either finding something to drink or went dancing. Ripley awkwardly hung at the edge of the bar, unsure what they are supposed to do. Clubs like this used to be places that Ripley could thrive in. Dancing the night away, drink and high, with people that weren’t exactly friends, but something similar enough. Now they just felt uncomfortable—drinking a slippery slope and dancing not being as fun as it used to be. Ripley just stood, watching and feeling out of place. It might have been a mistake coming here. Ripley had half a mind to call an Uber so they could go back to the hotel. It was to late to call their moms, though maybe Etta was still awake. Ripley started scanning the crowd for one of their teammates so they could explain what they were about to do, when they caught the eye of Akira.

         Shit. Now Ripley felt like they had to engage in conversation. They only heard about half of what Akira said, only really catching the last part of it. There were news stories about Akira—it wasn’t like Ripley could really avoid seeing news about the Foxes—so they knew the story; they were shocked to see him talking about it. “Sorry if this is too personal, but how can you talk about that?” they asked. If Ripley could, they’d erase every memory they had of their own addictions. “I mean doesn’t it seem I don’t know like embarrassing?” The Vixen cringed at how they sounded. “I don’t... I’m sorry. I just... I mean if it were up to me, I would erase every bit of my own…” Ripley took a deep breath, clinching onto their glass of water tightly feeling vulnerable, “addictions.” Admitting that out loud was more difficult than anticipated, even though they knew it was time they started telling people the truth. “I’m not really comfortable in clubs anymore. I can’t be around all this...” they looked around the club. But it was better to be uncomfortable than to be alone with their thoughts.