fite the lumpy lumps for a bean

prepare for a realm of shit i say

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Top surgery and bottom surgery are just their own DLCs for trans people.

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me, messing around trying to find the flash function on my laptop's camera: i've been outsmarted by technology and it's not even 2038

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Can I Hear Lemon

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When your own unexpected audible breathing vaguely startles you in the dark

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friend (probably asking for JUST a summary): So what's the musical about?

Me: *tells the musical storyline in its entirety*

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story time: earlier i was working on my drivers ed class and one of the questions started with "when" so my voice instinctively switched to my Relatable Tumblr Post Voice. Fun to know that’s ingrained in my mind whenever I see “when” first in a sentence

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I’d like to thank the academy and my friends: KFC, Chick-fil-A, and Church’s Chicken

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Screw it, imma put the rest of the highlights that happened on Discord right here:

“My Father, Colonel Sanders, My Mother Hen, that fake chicken I held a month or two ago” - R

“The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit AMEN” - H

“i leave the chat for a while and come back to this” - L

“hope you enjoyed my TED Talk about chicken. I graduated from watching Chicken Little a loooooong time ago” - R

“h” - L

“i would pay real money to watch you do a ted talk about chicken” - H

“Imma go all in and put images of my experience with chicken on that screen up on that stage” - R

"'Where did my love for chicken start?' you ask? Thanks for asking. It all started back when I was a little kid at KFC and I burnt my mouth on mash potatoes." - Ryan [insert last name here] (2018), TED Talks” - R

“Can i buy the full talk on amazon prime?” - H

“yes.” - R

“take my credit card info Now” - H

“Ryan [insert last name here]'s TED Talk About Chicken Goes Viral Over Night” “You can see me in my next movie, The Hen” “i've gotten to the point where it's so late that i actually get funny i guess” - R

[H makes a news meme about it but I can’t put it in the post because it includes my last name] *inserts meme in chat* “youre funny all the time not just late at night” - H

“that image sent me flying back to lie down on my back and recover” - R

“c” - H

“h” - L

“c is for chicken” - R

“im Screaming” - H

*ryanyaboi changed the channel name: Ryan's Chicken TED Talk*

“BLEASE” - H

“sorry lol” - R

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I'd like to thank the academy and my friends: KFC, Chick-fil-A, and Church's Chicken

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“Welcome to Indiana,” I say with tears rolling down my face.

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cis males: *exist*

me:

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peeing on a wasp nest is a valid mood

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Nature is trying to murder me

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“Did I hear someone say ‘You smell like Oprah’?”

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my mom just yelled to me from the other room saying "WANNA SEE THIS THING ABOUT PEOPLE ADDICTED TO MEMES"