Noah Kahan
occasionally subtle
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KIROKAZE
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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almost home
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@riskymurder-blog
riskymurder:
she’s not much of a baby anymore, but yes. and of course he knows. i wouldn’t keep something like that from him.
He must’ve been too overwhelmed, I bet.
Want a belated, updated baby shower? The other one was a bust.
i’m sure she’d love any kind of celebration. you ought to meet her, she’s wonderful.
riskymurder:
hm? what news?
Across being back. And the baby’s with you again, yeah? Is Azzy there, does he know? He didn’t tell us anything =(
she’s not much of a baby anymore, but yes. and of course he knows. i wouldn’t keep something like that from him.
@riskymurder
Hey beautiful, you got the news, didn’t you?
hm? what news?
“Anger was better than tears, better than grief, better than guilt.”
— Princess Arianne Martell (via mihtrandir)
hey. I need to talk to you.
because i dont want to lose you or anything…
and trust me I know lmao
i’m a pretty difficult person to lose.
i’m still here now, am i not?
hey. I need to talk to you.
its fine…don’t worry about it…
now who is being closed off? if we’re going to discuss it, let’s discuss it properly.
….
you look so happy with charlie and asriel. I like the idea of having that but im not…that. I’m not some wonderful datemate that is good at doting and loving on you. but i still want it.
how can you possibly know that?
i never thought i would be where i am now. i never thought i would be so afraid of having so much to lose, but... things change. charlie and i were hardly amiable when we first met, you know.
hey. I need to talk to you.
its fine…don’t worry about it…
now who is being closed off? if we’re going to discuss it, let’s discuss it properly.
hey. I need to talk to you.
because am i just supposed to let this keep happening? we’re both fucked up and if we keep getting hurt doing this…
what is painful about it, for you?
we both just end up yelling at each other and then burying the shitty feelings with a kiss. that doesnt fix anything, and i always want more…
well, that’s likely because the only times we’ve given into temptation has been when one or both of us was... in a state. if it were to be a preconceived, mutual agreement, i doubt we’d have such a problem.
what do you mean by more, though?
hey. I need to talk to you.
because am i just supposed to let this keep happening? we’re both fucked up and if we keep getting hurt doing this…
what is painful about it, for you?
hey. I need to talk to you.
I mean ive bottled it up this long and I can keep going longer lmao
but… you don’t have to keep it bottled. you’ve admitted it. and it’s not like i mind.
i don’t know what else im supposed to do.
i don’t understand why anything has to be done.
hey. I need to talk to you.
I mean ive bottled it up this long and I can keep going longer lmao
but... you don’t have to keep it bottled. you’ve admitted it. and it’s not like i mind.
hey. I need to talk to you.
don’t be. sorry i made you feel worse.
it’s not like i’ve been pleasant to be around.
i am... sorry i don’t have an answer or solution for you right now.
hey. I need to talk to you.
doesnt matter, because i do. and so do several other people.
several? one, maybe two.
it matters to me, though. what have i done besides pick on you, sleep with you, and cry on you? honestly.
because youre strong and badass and resilient and generally really fucking hot. and until you not one damn person has made me feel like this and I still dont know what to do about it.
i’m sorry.
hey. I need to talk to you.
doesnt matter, because i do. and so do several other people.
several? one, maybe two.
it matters to me, though. what have i done besides pick on you, sleep with you, and cry on you? honestly.
hey. I need to talk to you.
fine. im a coward and i cant fix anything. im useless to help you, to help fayth, to help myself, and i am terrified every day im going to lose my soul again and hurt people all over again after so much work fighting to stay in check. im scared I cant control how i feel so i try to ignore it until I cant and in the meantime try and help you with something I cant imagine.
im absolutely pathetic.
are you happy now?
why would that make me happy? happiness was never the goal. just honesty.
for what it’s worth, i don’t think you’re pathetic.
yeah, well, i objectively am
i don’t think that kind of thing is objective. i digress, though.
i can’t possibly imagine what would make you love someone like me.
hey. I need to talk to you.
fine. im a coward and i cant fix anything. im useless to help you, to help fayth, to help myself, and i am terrified every day im going to lose my soul again and hurt people all over again after so much work fighting to stay in check. im scared I cant control how i feel so i try to ignore it until I cant and in the meantime try and help you with something I cant imagine.
im absolutely pathetic.
are you happy now?
why would that make me happy? happiness was never the goal. just honesty.
for what it’s worth, i don’t think you’re pathetic.
