[ritasdove]

I need to change my hair for my 30th next week and I’m thinking like straight with curtain bangs?

[podencos]

Feels like too many people have forgotten that everyone on earth also has feelings and interior lives and experiences and are themselves entire universes that exist beyond the current and fleeting moment…

[stufflikethathere]

[ritasdove]

The fact that this audiobook narrator doesn't know how to pronounce the word "plait" and they just kept it in is kind of outrageous. Like how could they leave a mistake like that in a book this big?

[ritasdove]

I think the flip side of the whole fallacy of believing that because someone is beautiful that they must be good is that even if you're aware of that, you have to be careful not to fall into believing that because someone is average or ugly that they automatically have good qualities. Like just because you see yourself as an underdog doesn't mean that you're immune from having negative qualities too.

[ritasdove]

Hannah Neelman/Ballerina Farm is everything many white women have ever wanted to be and there is no way to divorce that reality from how you interpret her. She is naturally blonde, thin, a ballerina (and a really good one), married filthy rich and living a “natural” lifestyle with a bunch of kids. Every take I see about her online by a white woman is always kind of snarky and talking about how fake she is. But she is less fake and more unreal in my eyes. Her life is like completely divorced from all of the shit that concern the average American white woman. She never has to worry about money, or how many kids she can afford to have or if her food is laden with “toxins”. I personally don’t have any feelings about her as a person, she is completely divorced from my world view tbh but I find it perplexing that so much of the coverage around her seems to be about revealing her hidden flaws or to try and bring her down a peg. Like I think it’s dishonest to not pretend that a lot of people dislike her purely because of jealously.

I'm only saying this because I'm still reading Yesteryear and this whole book is about painting the main charater who is clearly modelled after Ballerina Farm as this kind if miserable wench who sees herself as an anti-modern woman and who believes that all the women who hate-follower her are jealous losers but who in her private life is kind of miserable bitch but self righteous about it and motivated to keep on posting because she feeds of the the jealousy of others. There's some sort of deep subterfuge at the core of this book. It's almost as if the author thinks if she can accurately name that man people are jealous of Hannah Neelman then that is enough self awareness to be able to have this impartial take on the whole thing. But I think that level of honesty is kind of just touching the surface. Like it's actually very plausible that Ballerina Farm has everything you want AND she's more of less no better or worse than anyone else or maybe even a really nice person and that your feeling that she must be miserable inside is really only something that speaks on your envy and not at all based in reality.

[ritasdove]

I've actually been so sad about breaking up with N for the past few days like I can't think of anything else lol someone shoot me right now. Like on one hand I feel like it was necessary on the other hand I feel like maybe I did it too soon? I should have had a solid convo about how much it was bothering me. I mentioned it but I never really spoke to him about it. I feel bad because we were supposed to go see The Odyssey this week and now I want to see it but I also want to see it with him since we talked about it for months before it came out.

[supiriorum]

Palo Alto - Gia Coppola

[dreamstars]

Photography by Mar+Vin

[ritasdove]

Something about Yesteryear reminds me of The Edible Woman by Margaret Atwood

[belinsky]

“I told Miyazaki I love the “gratuitous motion” in his films; instead of every movement being dictated by the story, sometimes people will just sit for a moment, or they will sigh, or look in a running stream, or do something extra, not to advance the story but only to give the sense of time and place and who they are. “We have a word for that in Japanese,” he said. “It’s called ma. Emptiness. It’s there intentionally.” Is that like the “pillow words” that separate phrases in Japanese poetry? “I don’t think it’s like the pillow word.” He clapped his hands three or four times. “The time in between my clapping is ma. If you just have non-stop action with no breathing space at all, it’s just busyness, But if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension. If you just have constant tension at 80 degrees all the time you just get numb.””

— Roger Ebert, on Hayao Miyazaki (via moonbrains)

[ritasdove]

I had to break up with N today. Honestly the problem was that he was just constantly late or cancelling last minute or messing up his schedule. All the time. I’d tried to bring it up more than once and he’d always fix it then it would start happening again. Today we were supposed to go out and he made an earnest effort but just showed up like a day late and a dollar short. I couldn’t take it anymore. The worse part is that I don’t hate him at all, like if it was something unforgivable then ok it’s easy to let go but this was like water on a stone like it just wore me down. I hated spending time waiting around for him and it started to make me anxious and embarrassed. He would show up and be all smiles, say he was sorry, make a joke and then things were fine but idk I just started to dread that anxious waiting feeling. He does have ADHD and is on meds and has been to see a therapist and all that so it’s not like it’s coming from nowhere but still I just couldn’t take it. I can’t be with someone who I can’t rely on regardless of their other good qualities.

[unethicallibrarising]

Thank God for black women

[ritasdove]

Love this channel

[ritasdove]

Once you realize nobody can actually read your mind I think you gain a bit of power back. I think a lot of anxious and shy people subconsciously feel like they’re wearing everything on their sleeve and that people can accurately pick them apart. It’s why some people have this anxious need to confess things all the time because they think their mistakes are obvious. They’re not. Nobody can read your mind, nobody can actually look at you and read you like a book, even when we do it to other people we’re probably, mostly wrong. Let people wonder about you, they might be right but unless you confess it they will always carry some level of doubt.

[askyourbody]

maryavocado on ig - chrysanthemum cake

[ritasdove]

I remember being a really little kid on the beach by this lake that was warm and shallow and covered in teddy bear sand and thinking it was the best place on earth. Makes sense that life would originate in places like that.