Mate, you’ve got a chubby lizard on your dashboard
DEAR READER
Claire Keane
Cosmic Funnies

Love Begins

pixel skylines

★
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

No title available
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
No title available
todays bird
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
trying on a metaphor
noise dept.

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Discoholic 🪩
Keni
we're not kids anymore.

Kaledo Art
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
seen from Morocco

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Malaysia

seen from Italy

seen from Sweden
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Sweden

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye

seen from Germany
seen from Spain
@randomfanner
Mate, you’ve got a chubby lizard on your dashboard
Happy Pride Month! Please don't buy pride merch from box stores or Amazon. Please buy from queer owned shops, and if you are on a strict budget please check depop or DIY before you turn to big box stores
If you're a queer owned business who makes pride merch (or know of some) PLEASE feel free to comment or reblog under this post and promote yourself
THIS IS SO EXCITING MORE EMILY WILDE MOREEEEEEEE
YAHOOO!!!!!
Books that remind me of Howl's Moving Castle: A Masterlist
Howl's Moving Castle (HMC) is my favorite book of all time, and I tend to look for the things I like and love to read the same trope or style of book over and over again. There are a few things I look for in a book when trying to capture the magic of HMC:
Characters - we are looking for STRONG and quirky characters that follow the general vibes of a vain man (or whatever) with magical power and a salty stubborn kindhearted woman (or whatever) who bursts into his life. Preferably there is a third, magical little fellow to fill the Calcifer role who is a dear friend to them both.
Romance - this vain silly powerful character and this pushy kind character need to fall in love. Im sorry. Its what im HERE for. I love a romance.
Funny/Witty - the book should be FUNNY, not "unserious", but not take itself so seriously. I want BANTER and witty dialogue. We want a little bit of jabbing, name calling, and arguments as our two leads fall in love.
Cozy Vibes - the plot should not be "Avengers style saving the universe from destruction" levels of stress. We should have character driven moments, scenes that evolve naturally out of us feeling "of course that's what he/she would do", scenes of domesticity whether that's eating or cooking, cleaning or decorating. There can be stakes, and there can be danger, there can even be plot twists, but overall we should not feel stressed while reading - these are comfort reads with happy endings.
Setting - I have to be honest, I have never really looked for a HMC book stand in OUTSIDE the fantasy genre - I really want this to be a fantasy setting. It is also important to me there be a "home base", i.e. the Moving Castle. So I love for our heroine (or whatever) to MOVE INTO the Sorcerer's space for some contrivance and cause havoc.
SO HERE ARE THE BOOKS, and how/why the remind me of HMC. THERE MAY BE SOME SPOILERS and I will continue to update as I read (I will only inlcude books I have read to be sure of quality - but send me recs so I can check them out):
Emily Wilde Series: A magical male lead who is the combination of Sophie and Howl - gorgeous, vain, argumentative, particular, loves cleanliness, loves spiders, loves sewing, and is embarassingly smitten with our female lead. Emily herself is not really a one to one for any of the HMC characters, but she feels like she fits perfectly - smart, sharp, blunt, and loyal. Emily's hound Shadow sort of meets my Calcifer stand in character, as does a little fairy named Poe. The adventure is small stakes, affecting a small nordic town nestled into snowy mountains, and many of the scenes take place inside a cabin in need of a facelift like the moving castle. Others on this list follow far more of the beats of HMC, and yet Emily Wilde feels like the strongest successor to the characters and the charm in my opinion.
The Maid and the Crocodile: The third installment in the "Raybearer" world, but a stand-alone novel that does not technically require you to read "Raybearer" and "Redemptor" but I think it helps... This was my favorite of the Raybearer books by far and away. The story is fairly small stakes - the consequences of the plot will really only affect the two main characters. Sade reminds me of Sophie in many ways - a girl on a journey from meek and quiet to opinionated and outspoken all the while sharing her passion for cleaning and domestic work. She also has a rare and undiscovered magical power of her own, like Sophie. Her love interest is a terribly vain cursed magical man seeking her help to break his curse, and he has a little magical gecko helper that soooort of fills the Calcifer role. The Crocodile also has a magical house with multiple magical doors leading to various places in the Realm. The author even shouts out the HMC novel in the acknowledgments for inspiring parts of the book. I think OVERALL this is the closest one-to-one adaptation to HMC, but the wittiness and characters for me do not reach the levels of some of the others on the list.
Uprooted: A klutzy nature loving girl is surprisingly whisked away to a castle by a local curmudgeonly sorcerer, named The Dragon. Turns out, she has a unique magical ability she never knew about. The Dragon teaches her magic in a cozy single location first half of the book, and our heroine learns baking and cooking, cleaning and loooove along the way. Much higher stakes story revolving around saving the kingdom, some politics, and some much darker parts of human nature and well just nature than others on this list. But numerous beats are similar.
Sorcery of Thorns: A young librarian learns a terrible secret and is forced to cohabitate with a handsome young sorcerer in a deal with a demon for magic. The two leads are bickering and witty, trading barbs as they fall in love. They eventually make home base in Thorn Manor, and the demon aforementioned is a Calcifer-esque addition to the fun. Tad less cozy, tad higher stakes than I would care for - but the banter and found family in the Manor reminds me a lot of HMC.
The Paper Magician: For this one... you have to sort of squint to see it. But trust me: there is SOMETHING here that is HMC all over it and it would be a HUGE spoiler to go into it. Lets just say it has something to do with a LITERAL stolen heart. A young magicians apprentice is paired against her will with the titular Paper Magician, to live in his home and learn his trade. Along the way, we get some lovely world building, fall in love, and save some hearts.
Sorcery and Small Magics (edit to add) - two sorcerers studying at the best magic academy have been “rivals” since they met. They accidentally get tangled up in a curse and embark on a “forced proximity” adventure to find a sorcerer living in a magic tower full of doors to strange places to break their cursed bond. Did I mention they bicker and provoke one another, and our main lead has a secret special magic to uncover? This is a queer, slow burn, low spice low stakes (only effects the two main characters) story and it was full of the type of comedy and whimsy I look for in a HMC successor. A planned trilogy
Where the Dark Stands Still (edit to add) - WOOOOW wowie wow this might be the new contender for best “clone” of HMC (lovingly I use this it def stands on its own); magic girl who can’t control powers enters a bargain with a demon and moves into his magical manor and befriends a hearth spirit only to fall in love with the demon who is actually a sorcerer who sold his heart in a bargain with a REAL demon and she has to use her lovable nature to save her found family. This is the only book on this list to date that has a true Michael stand-in character as well as a Calicifer stand in. O and The romantic couple call each other charming insults. This one is much darker and bloodier and morally greyer than HMC, but takes place almost entirely in the bounds of our “castle” and the magic wood that surrounds it.
A Harvest of Hearts (edit to add) - I read this one as an ARC from NetGalley. Pretty macabre and full of gore and piss (really one chapter has waaaay too much piss) to be considered a true cozy in my world, but was marketed to me as such. The simple and tad crass butchers daughter Foss finds herself under the spell of an ethereally handsome and utterly naive sorcerer who did NOT mean to cast it. She ends up drawn to him against her will to try to break the enchantment, and tricks him into letting her become his cleaning lady in his enchanted house. And there is a little black cat that ABSOLUTELY fills the Calcifer role. Our sorcerer, Sylvester, even throws a tantrum a la Howl and slime with some plates. The plot is utterly charming as a HMC fan but the dark and eerie world building and crass language keeps it from being a “favorite” of mine.
A Matter of Magic/Mairelon the Magician/Magician’s Ward (edit to add) - a forgotten gem of a bygone era of fantasy fiction (2002, but seriously it feels like the early 90s somehow). Patricia C Wredes humor is so FULL here that I actually found myself skipping some of the overlong pages of this comedy of manners and bumbling dandies to get to the plot. A real Sorcerer disguises himself as a fake magician to catch a band of thieves, and ends up adopting a young thief into his confidences. Turns out the thief is a young girl with innate magical abilities disguised as a boy to stay safe on the streets. These two end up being my type of soulmates - comfortable and bickering and utter equals and partners in crime and life. The first book finds Kim, the young street urchin, following Mairelon the Magician in his horse drawn cart across the English countryside and the second book finds Kim his ward, entering magical high society as a debutante. There is cozy tea and eduardian snobbery, a slow burn love story, and found family. The style is more HMC than the plot, to be fair, but I HIGH KEY RECOMMEND
Agnes Aubert’s Mystical Cat Shelter (edit to add) - have you ever wished some of the best parts of the HMC film were in the book?? This one was as if Heather Fawcett put post it notes on the wall full of WHAT was in the book and film and rearranged them with new connective tissue and a tape of grief for an older female protagonist (a 35 year old widow). The greatest magician of his generation has a terrible evil reputation but is actually a kind hearted, sarcastic, disorganized spider-loving mess with jewels in his ears? Check. Our female protagonist moves into his magical house that can me moved and transported and is appalled by the mess so starts organizing? Check. There’s a bumbling darling apprentice that’s the only one who understands the magician? Check. There’s a beautiful but otherworldly “witch” battling the magician in fantastic ways on the streets of the city? Check. Take the cats from “Castle in the Air” and throw them in. The devoted sister? Check. Baking? Check. Now from the film: time travel love story? Check. Magic used too often turns the user into a big black monster that becomes less and less human? Check. Seriously yall - what else could you want in a HMC clone???
i hope something good happens to me. i hope something good happens to you too. i hope something good happens to all of us soon
reblog if you love ao3 exactly how it is and you don’t want it to “update” or change in any way♡
ao3 is not changing anything by the way! some people just want them to change for some reason. my guess is that these people just don't understand how the site works and refuse to actually learn how it works, so they blame the site because it's easier for them that way.
Mods are asleep post forbidden tits
Huh
Huh
Huh
Hhhhhhh
Perfectly balanced as all things should be…
balance
one of my favorite tropes in chinese literature is when a guy’s wife is clearly a ghost/demon/fox fairy and he just can’t see it. i’m reading a story where this guy keeps getting arrested because his wife will just magically steal steal shit out of sealed boxes and give it to him as a present, and whenever someone is like dude i think something’s up with his wife he asks her and she’s like i’m literally normal. so he turns around and says yeah guys she’s literally normal
#hashtag Believe Women#feminism
Sorry for us politics posting, but we have until May 22, 2026 to submit public comment to the FCC:
More info from GLAAD:
https://glaad.org/fcc/
They have some good tips about writing a comment and protecting your privacy which, fuck it, I'll just paste here:
Providing an email address is optional. If you have concerns about privacy, you may use your initials or public address in your local area, such as City Hall. Do not use a joke name. It diminishes the comment’s credibility.
Your submission does not need to be long. A single, well-reasoned paragraph is sufficient.
Do not copy/paste a template comment. The FCC values unique perspectives, and an original comment carries significantly more weight in the public record. You can explain why this matters to you without revealing private or sensitive personal information.
Here's what I said:
“Free speech is a fundamental American freedom. I do not need a warning about seeing queer people, much like I do not need a warning about women, veterans, or any other group of people.”
Here's the link to submit your comment by May 22:
https://www.fcc.gov/ecfs/filings/express?proceeding%5Bname%5D=19-41
I wish that I had known in that first minute we’d met, the unpayable debt that I owed you
Christ man, it’s almost like tragic romances span from centuries- for real they are complaining about shit that exists in abduance
like
Romeo and Juliet is wildly famous doomed romance-
people aren’t starving there is a feast for that shit-
99% of "mysterious disappearances" esp of people in their 20s who start acting weird for 48 hours and then vanish are not mysterious, thats just when a lot of reality-obliterating mental illness tends to kick in and it's pretty easy to get a short circuit in your brain that makes you go family guy death pose in joshua tree national park. it's not any less tragic, it's just a documented phenomenon and not particularly predictable. its a big reason the medical advice is for people with a family history of schizophrenia to completely avoid weed and psychedelics. "people just go crazy sometimes" is a principle of human health that used to be a lot more accepted prior to the american midcentury and to a certain extent thats a healthier way to conceptualize and prepare for the risk, as opposed to the modern assertion that anyone acting weird is dangerous and broken forever.
you should have a rough outline of a plan for if any of your loved ones experiences psychosis, it really does happen a lot. UTIs can cause psychosis. taking drugs, even safe drugs, or prescription drugs, can cause psychosis. i was once prescribed a heavy regimen of vitamin D because i was deficient, but the doctor never told me to stop taking it, so i moved to california, stopped being deficient, and developed vitamin d toxicity with downstream hyperparathyroidism which triggered significant hypomania that was undetected and uncontrolled for yeeeeeeears. i just slowly got Weird and started making impulsive decisions based on slightly out-of-gamut beliefs. i drove cross country by myself to have a love affair. the love affair was real, the series of decisions leading to burning down my life in pursuit of it were based on not great brain function however. etc. you see what i mean. churchill mentioned depression being the "black dog who stalks us" (one reason for Churchgrim's multi-referential name) but theres another, stealthier dog called Insanity and it's closer to some people than others but man it sneaks up on you. every time i see one of those "guy gets weird and drives into the wilderness forever" missing persons stories i think "yeah i could totally pull that off"
"van gogh cut off his ear what a lunatic" you are 3 nights of bad sleep, getting unexpected upsetting news and taking a substance as benign as coffee at the wrong time away from doing the same hope this helps
“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story
“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do
Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.
“Slutantions” has me crying laughing
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blue”
the subject line was “OW”
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”
Reblogging for the last addition
Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.
Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.
Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.
IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.
It’s even worse than i remember it
I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.
Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”
i was very sick over new years and one day i woke up to find i had emailed my manager in the middle of the night:
she said it was the most beautiful sick email she’s ever gotten
had a similar situation that inspired one of my older comics. they absolutely gave me shit for it when I got back to the office.
the first people to ever use terms of endearment for each other must have been so in love i'm in tears just thinking about it
can you imagine living in the 14th century and hearing your lover enter the house and call out "honey, i'm home!" and then realizing that they're talking to you, and that they're calling you "honey" because they think you're sweet like honey... oh my god. ooooh my god
The earliest recorded cat name (from 1500BC Egypt) was "Nedjem" which means "sweetie"❤️
The more things change, the more they stay the same